The Grief of a Late Autism Diagnosis

Supporting People Through Difficult Periods at Work with Simon Blake OBE

In this episode, Simon Blake, CEO of Stonewall, joins us to discuss how workplaces can better support individuals going through challenging or painful periods in their lives. The conversation explores how leaders can balance compassion with performance, ensuring work remains supportive rather than becoming an added burden. KEY TOPICS DISCUSSED * Why performance naturally fluctuates during periods of personal difficulty * The risk of work becoming an additional source of stress * How work can also serve as a helpful distraction or source of focus * Recognizing when someone needs time away versus continued engagement * Creating a supportive work environment without compromising core responsibilities * The role of leadership in navigating empathy and expectations KEY TAKEAWAYS * Employees experiencing personal challenges may not perform at their usual level — and that’s normal * Workplaces should aim to reduce pressure, not compound it * In some cases, work can provide structure and relief; in others, stepping away is the better option * Open communication and flexibility are critical * Supportive cultures balance empathy with clarity about work expectations NOTABLE QUOTE "When we're in a period of pain, our work isn't perhaps going to be at the standard that it's going to be." ABOUT THE GUEST Simon Blake is the CEO of Stonewall, one of the UK’s leading LGBTQ+ rights organisations. He has a long track record in leadership, wellbeing, and social impact, and is widely recognised for his work in creating more inclusive and compassionate workplaces.

Series Reflection: What We’ve Learned About Grief

In the final episode of the first series of Talking Grief, the roles are reversed as host Rainbow Tomes becomes the interviewee. Reflecting on the journey of creating the podcast, Rainbow shares insights, emotions and key themes that have emerged from conversations with guests throughout the series. This episode explores what it has meant to hold space for stories of loss, the powerful common threads that connect grieving experiences, and how open conversations about grief can support others who may be struggling. What we cover in this episode • How it feels to complete the first series of a grief-focused podcast • The mix of gratitude, sadness and hope that can exist alongside one another • The importance of giving people space to share their grief stories • Recurring themes across episodes — including what helps and what doesn’t • The kindness and openness shown by guests throughout the series • Why grief is still not spoken about enough in everyday life • The emotional impact of listening deeply to others’ experiences of loss • How sharing conversations about grief can help people feel less alone Key reflections Grief holds many emotions at once Rainbow reflects on feeling both sadness and excitement at the end of the series — a reminder that grief itself is often a complex mix of feelings rather than a single emotion. Common themes bring reassurance Hearing consistent messages from guests about what supports grieving people — such as kindness, presence and understanding — has reinforced the importance of compassionate approaches to bereavement. Creating space matters Providing a platform where people feel able to talk openly about grief can be powerful, both for those sharing their stories and for listeners who may be navigating their own loss. Kindness makes a difference The willingness of guests to be vulnerable and generous in sharing their experiences highlights the role of human connection in coping with grief. Looking ahead As the first series comes to a close, this episode reflects on the potential for continued conversations about grief — helping to normalise loss, encourage understanding and build supportive communities.

Supporting Grief: Presence, Workplaces and Remembering

In this episode of Talking Grief, host Rainbow Tomes is joined by Martin Edwards, CEO of Julia’s House Children’s Hospice. Drawing on more than 20 years of experience supporting families whose children have life-limiting conditions, Martin shares deep insights into how grief affects individuals, families, friendships and workplaces. Together they explore the realities of bereavement, the importance of simply being present for someone who is grieving, and how employers can respond with greater understanding and flexibility. Guest bio Martin Edwards is CEO of Julia’s House Children’s Hospice. He has spent over two decades working alongside families navigating the challenges of caring for a child with a life-limiting condition and supporting them through bereavement. What we cover in this episode • Why grief — especially after the death of a child — can isolate families • The common fear people have of saying or doing “the wrong thing” • How small acts of kindness and practical help can make a lasting difference • The reality that grief is not linear or predictable • Understanding grief triggers such as anniversaries, memories, smells or music • Why workplaces need flexibility and compassion when supporting grieving employees • The importance — and complexity — of peer support between bereaved families • How children’s hospices provide whole-life support, not just end-of-life care • The value of remembrance events in helping families honour and reconnect with memories of their child Key insights Grief is individual No two people grieve in the same way. Comparing or judging grief based on personal experience can prevent meaningful support. Presence matters more than words Many grieving families say people withdraw because they are afraid of saying the wrong thing. Martin emphasises that simply showing up, listening and offering practical help can be profoundly supportive. Grief does not follow a timetable Bereavement can resurface months or years later, often triggered by memories or significant dates. Understanding this can help workplaces and communities respond with empathy rather than expectation. Support continues beyond death Children’s hospices often build long-term relationships with families, offering respite, emotional support and opportunities to remember and celebrate a child’s life. Memories can connect people Events such as remembrance days can create natural opportunities for families at different stages of grief to support one another.

Supporting Grief in the Workplace and Beyond

In this episode, Rainbow Tomes speaks with Jane Barry, Managing Director at Liberty Recruitment Group, about how grief shows up in professional environments as well as in personal life. Jane shares her experiences of supporting team members through loss, navigating her own bereavement after losing her mother, and the importance of empathy, flexibility and shared understanding at work. Together they explore how collective experiences of grief can strengthen teams, the often overlooked grief of losing pets, and why open conversations about loss matter more than ever. What you’ll hear in this episode • How grief impacts workplace dynamics and leadership responsibilities • Jane’s personal experience of losing her mother to frontal lobe dementia • Supporting colleagues through bereavement and building compassionate team cultures • The role of shared grief experiences in reducing guilt and isolation at work • The emotional impact of pet loss and why it deserves recognition • Lessons learned from navigating multiple losses within a team • Creating psychologically safe spaces for conversations about grief Key themes Grief at work Jane reflects on years spent in HR and leadership roles, highlighting how often managers and teams must support colleagues through bereavement. She explains how grief can affect performance, confidence and day-to-day functioning — and why flexible, human responses from employers are essential. Shared experience and connection Jane describes how going through loss at the same time as a colleague helped remove feelings of guilt and allowed both of them to support each other more openly. She shares how this created stronger bonds within the team. Personal loss and anticipatory grief Jane talks about losing her mother after a period of illness and the complex emotions involved in watching a loved one decline. She discusses how grief can begin long before death occurs. Recognising different forms of grief The conversation explores grief beyond human loss, including the death of pets and the impact this can have on individuals and teams. Building compassionate workplaces Rainbow and Jane discuss the importance of openness, empathy and normalising conversations about grief to help people feel less alone. About the guest Jane Barry is Managing Director at Liberty Recruitment Group. With a background in HR and leadership, she is passionate about building supportive workplace cultures and helping organisations respond compassionately to life’s most difficult moments.

The Grief of a Late Autism Diagnosis

In this episode of Talking Grief, Rainbow speaks with Becks Tridgell, co-founder of the Autistic Women’s Club, about a form of grief that isn’t often discussed — the grief that can come with a late autism diagnosis. For Becks, discovering she was autistic wasn’t about losing something in the present. In fact, it was about finding a missing piece of identity. But alongside that discovery came a deep sense of grief for the past — the support that wasn’t available, the misunderstandings that shaped her life, and the opportunities that may have looked very different with earlier understanding. Together, they explore the complex emotional landscape of late diagnosis, including the mix of relief, validation, anger, and sadness that can emerge when someone finally understands themselves. This episode highlights how grief isn’t always about death or bereavement — sometimes it’s about reframing a lifetime of experiences.