That Feeling of "Always-Behind and Never-Enough"—Here's the Antidote | Ellen Hendriksen

How To Read People, Calm Tension, Build Trust, and Ask For What You're Worth | John Richardson

An MIT/Harvard negotiation expert on the two types of "no," the FBI hostage negotiator trick you can use with anyone, and the rhetorical move that improves outcomes for women. John Richardson teaches negotiation at MIT's Sloan School of Management, and previously at Harvard Law, and was an associate at the Harvard Negotiation Project. He was coauthor with Roger Fisher and Alan Sharp of Getting It Done and Negotiation Analysis with Howard Raiffa and David Metcalfe. He is also a graduate of the Massachusetts Firefighting Academy. His latest book is Never Settle [https://www.neversettlenegotiate.com/], co-written with Attia Qureshi. In this episode we talk about: * Why lying in a negotiation is tactically stupid, not just morally wrong * The "give them a sandwich" trick FBI hostage negotiators use, and how to steal it for everyday life * The difference between healthy manipulation and the harmful kind * A simple word that can pull someone's brain out of fight-or-flight mode mid-argument * Why knowing your alternative matters more than knowing your ask * When saying no is actually the smartest move in the room * And much more Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] This episode is sponsored by: Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/oh9jnxlq [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/oh9jnxlq] #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Savings provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. IQ Bar: To get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus free shipping, text DAN to 64000. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

That Feeling of "Always-Behind and Never-Enough"—Here's the Antidote | Ellen Hendriksen

Move on from the inner critic and beat perfectionism without lowering your standards. Dr. Ellen Hendriksen [https://www.ellenhendriksen.com/] is a clinical psychologist who helps people calm their anxiety and be their authentic self. She serves on the faculty at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD) and is the author of HOW TO BE ENOUGH: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists [https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/how-to-be-enough-9781250291875/] and HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety [https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Yourself-Critic-Anxiety/dp/1250161703]. You can find her on Substack at How to Be Good to Yourself When You're Hard on Yourself [https://substack.com/@ellenhendriksen]. This episode originally aired in 2025. In this episode we talk about: * The relationship between perfectionism and anxiety * The definition of perfectionism––and why the word is actually a misnomer * Dr. Hendriksen's own struggles with perfectionism, and how they manifested physically * The difference between healthy perfectionism and unhealthy perfectionism * Changing your relationship with your inner critic * Shifting from rigid rules to flexibility * Keeping high standards while making room for mistakes * Overcoming procrastination * Navigating social comparison * And much more Related Episodes: * Strategies for Social Anxiety | Ellen Hendriksen [https://www.danharris.com/p/strategies-for-social-anxiety-ellen-35c?utm_source=publication-search] * The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross [https://www.danharris.com/p/the-voice-in-your-head-ethan-kross-495?utm_source=publication-search] * How To Move Into The Future With Optimism Instead Of Anxiety | Frederik Pferdt [https://www.danharris.com/p/how-to-move-into-the-future-with-3a4?utm_source=publication-search] Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party], or sign up to livestream here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-livestream]! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

Secrets From the Therapist's Couch: How Boundaries Actually Work, How To Come To Peace With Your Parents, and Why It's Not Too Late To Change | Lori Gottlieb

Plus: How your envy can be useful, why you're an unreliable narrator of your own life, and why you keep choosing partners who echo the unfinished business of your childhood. Lori Gottlieb [https://lorigottlieb.com/] is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone [https://www.amazon.com/dp/1328662055?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback], which has sold over three million copies and has been translated into over 30 languages. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The New York Times "Ask the Therapist [https://www.nytimes.com/column/ask-the-therapist]" advice column and is co-host of the popular "Dear Therapists [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-therapists-with-lori-gottlieb-and-guy-winch/id1523340696]" podcast and the advice podcast Since You Asked [https://www.thesinceyouaskedpodcast.com/]. In this episode we talk about: * Why insight alone doesn't change anything, and what "idiot compassion" gets wrong * Whether you actually need to like your therapist * Why there's no such thing as a hierarchy of pain * How to spot a help-rejecting complainer, including in yourself * What envy is actually trying to tell you * Why a real boundary is a bid for connection, not a cutoff * Why we're all unreliable narrators, and how to edit the story you tell about yourself * Why we keep choosing partners who echo our unfinished business Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Additional Resources: * Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Workbook [https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-You-Should-Talk-Someone-ebook/dp/B09L5BR22N/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=W79Xz&content-id=amzn1.sym.3a079c4e-f938-40c9-a0ed-01ef0e9528e9&pf_rd_p=3a079c4e-f938-40c9-a0ed-01ef0e9528e9&pf_rd_r=141-9976842-2413604&pd_rd_wg=FX80K&pd_rd_r=d220e930-ce42-43be-9752-170f8b222aba] * Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Journal [https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Should-Talk-Someone-Journal/dp/0358667216/ref=books_amazonstores_desktop_mfs_author_smart_catalog_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=2jmuh&content-id=amzn1.sym.aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_p=aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_r=141-9976842-2413604&pd_rd_wg=f7Bbg&pd_rd_r=72ca8675-6aeb-4907-beb4-2936ad0323c6] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party], or sign up to livestream here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-livestream]! This episode is sponsored by: Function Health: Join at functionhealth.com/happier [http://functionhealth.com/happier] or use the gift code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit toward your membership. To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris]

Joyful Anyway: Surviving the Sh*t Show of Regular Life | Kate Bowler

Why optimization is a joy blocker, how to find the 'yes' inside the 'no,' and why that restless ache you can't shake is actually your compass. Kate Bowler [https://katebowler.com/], PhD is a four-time New York Times bestselling author, award-winning podcast host, and an Associate Professor of American Religious History at Duke University. She studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves about success, suffering, and whether (or not) we're capable of change. Her newest book is Joyful, Anyway [https://katebowler.com/books/joyfulanyway/]. In this episode we talk about: * The dangerous difference between joy and happiness * Why optimization and self-mastery are quietly killing your capacity for delight * How to find the "yes" inside every "no" (even when things are genuinely terrible) * The ache and restlessness you can't shake—and why it's actually your compass, not a problem to solve * What grace actually looks like when control disappears * How to stop trying to improve your way into joy * The "assignment" that changes how you show up for other people * Why survival isn't the point—living is Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] Additional Resources: * Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I've Loved) [https://www.amazon.com/Everything-Happens-Reason-Other-Loved/dp/0399592067] * No Cure For Being Human (and Other Truths I Need to Hear) [https://www.amazon.com/No-Cure-Being-Human-Truths-ebook/dp/B08RHF2RV5/ref=books_amazonstores_desktop_mfs_author_smart_catalog_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=R22vF&content-id=amzn1.sym.aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_p=aec507cb-142c-4f68-9ae5-803b8e7b33f1&pf_rd_r=141-9976842-2413604&pd_rd_wg=xTBfh&pd_rd_r=bfd2044f-c90d-46a8-9631-b5392910cecc] * Have a Beautiful, Terrible Day! [https://www.amazon.com/Have-Beautiful-Terrible-Day-Betweens/dp/0593727673] Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party], or sign up to livestream here [https://www.eomega.org/workshops/meditation-party-livestream]! To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris] This episode is sponsored by: BetterHelp: Online therapy, matched to your needs. Get 10% off your first month at www.betterhelp.com/happier [https://www.betterhelp.com/happier]. Gusto: Try Gusto today at gusto.com/HAPPIER [http://gusto.com/HAPPIER], and get three months free when you run your first payroll.

Why We Crave Gurus: A Skeptic's Reckoning With Belief, Bitcoin, and Burning Man | Vikram Gandhi

What a fake guru discovered about genuine connection, why ancient wisdom survives even the most rigorous skepticism, and the real reason humans crave spiritual authority. Vikram Gandhi is an award-winning and boundary-pushing director of fiction and non-fiction film and television. Vikram most recently co-directed The Man Will Burn [https://www.hbomax.com/shows/man-will-burn/6e69de11-44dc-472a-a7bb-1f0b4be7738b] — a five-part HBO Original Documentary Series on the full arc of Burning Man, from its countercultural roots in San Francisco to the 80,000-person desert event it's become. In this episode we talk about: * Why an experiment built to reject capitalism ended up swimming in it * What playing a fake guru taught him about how belief actually works * Why people are often more comfortable opening up to a stranger than to those closest to them * What religion, cryptocurrency, and Burning Man all have in common * How to find meaning in ancient wisdom without needing to belong to anything * And much more Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here [https://app.danharris.com/membership] Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here [http://www.danharris.com/] Follow Dan on social: Instagram [https://bit.ly/3tGigG5], TikTok [https://bit.ly/3FOA84J] Subscribe to our YouTube Channel [https://bit.ly/3FybRzD] To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris [https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris] This episode is sponsored by: Jiyu Skin: Our listeners can now get an additional 20% off plus free shipping with our code HAPPIER at jiyuskin.com [http://jiyuskin.com/]. Tonal: Right now, Tonal is offering our listeners $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code HAPPIER. Rosetta Stone: Ten Percent Happier listeners can get 20% off their Rosetta Stone Sapphire subscription when they sign up today. Visit rosettastone.com/happier [http://rosettastone.com/happier] to redeem your 20% off.