The Continuum Podcast

173 - Bidets to Barbers

31 min · 11 de may de 2026
Portada del episodio 173 - Bidets to Barbers

Descripción

Adam returns from the continent with stories that absolutely did not need telling... but tells them anyway. What starts as an innocent curiosity about hotel bidets quickly derails into robot toilets, heated seats, accidental self‑irrigation, and the very real fear of walking around with a soggy arse and no instructions. From Japanese high‑tech toilets to British bidet confusion, the lads ask the big questions no one wants to Google: how are you actually meant to use one? Somehow, the conversation escalates into haemorrhoids. How they appear, why everyone panics it’s cancer, and the quiet shame of buying cream at the chemist while pretending it’s “for your gran.” It’s crude, honest, and uncomfortably relatable. From there, Adam shifts gears into travel tales from Spain: Google Translate diplomacy, Barcelona taxi drivers driving like it’s Mario Kart, pigeon near‑misses, and Catalonia’s week‑long Valentine’s tradition involving roses and books. Then, naturally, the episode swerves again, this time into the strange universe of barbers. Turkish barbers, Kurdish barbers, flaming ear hair, nostril waxing, hot towels that last forever, beard perfection, and the shocking moment Kyle accidentally got a spray‑on hairline and briefly became Action Man. Relaxing for some, psychological torture for others. It’s peak Continuum: filthy, funny, culturally confused, and packed with stories you can’t unhear, ending with a promise to go even deeper into barbers next time. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

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179 episodios

Portada del episodio 177 - Reanimation to Roadkill

177 - Reanimation to Roadkill

Adam kicks things off by confirming Kyle is, in fact, alive, though possibly stitched together Frankenstein-style, and the pair dive straight back into reanimation. What starts as classic sci‑fi quickly grounds itself in reality: early 1800s experiments with electricity jolting corpses into movement, the revelation that defibrillators are basically real-world “reanimation tools,” and the uncomfortable truth that bringing a body back is very different from bringing a person back. From there, things spiral into deep philosophical territory. Cryogenics, mind-uploading, and digital immortality all get thrown into the mix, raising the big question: if your consciousness lives on in a computer, or a robot, or even a video game… is that still you? Or just a copy? The lads bounce between sci‑fi (Matrix pods, AI integration, Transcendence) and reality, landing somewhere between “maybe possible” and “absolutely terrifying.” Then it gets properly existential. Parallel lives, dying every day without knowing it, living in a simulation, restarting as a new character. This episode leans hard into the idea that life might just be a loop, a game, or something far stranger than we can comprehend. There’s no real conclusion… just the shared understanding that nobody has a clue what’s going on - but it’s fun trying to figure it out. And then… in peak Continuum fashion… it all collapses into chaos. A casual mention of squirrels sparks a hard pivot from metaphysics to roadkill, including Adam accidentally running one over, the emotional rollercoaster that follows (lasting about two minutes), and the brutal realism of nature tidying things up. The conversation escalates into impact physics (badgers vs cars), the logistics of cleaning up flattened animals, and whether there’s an unspoken “size threshold” before humans intervene. By the end, reanimation, digital eternity, and the meaning of life have all been replaced with one pressing question: How many animals has Adam actually hit? Find out next time! Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

8 de jun de 202631 min
Portada del episodio 176 - Funeral Options to Reanimation

176 - Funeral Options to Reanimation

Kyle opens the episode by briefly eulogising Adam… before confirming he’s very much alive. From there, the guys dive straight back into the cheery topic of death. Specifically, what actually happens to you when it’s all over. From traditional burials and cremations to the weirder alternatives (aquamation, human composting, turning yourself into a diamond, or even blasting your ashes into space), they explore just how many options there really are—and why most of them feel either too expensive or slightly terrifying. The real shock? Funeral costs. Thousands of pounds spent on something you’ll never even attend sparks a brutally honest debate: is any of it actually worth it? Naturally, things get suspicious. Can you trust what’s in the coffin? What happens to people with no family? Are funeral homes just quietly running a very strange business model? And why does everything, from pet cremations to full services, suddenly get so expensive when someone dies? From there, the tone shifts from dark curiosity to dark humour: IKEA flat‑pack funerals, ocean send‑offs, Viking burials (legal or not), and the idea that the best send‑off might just be “cheap and cheerful, then straight to the pub.” But just when you think it can’t get weirder, it does. Zombies, parasites that control behaviour, and the age‑old question “could you actually reanimate a body?” take the episode into full sci‑fi territory. Frankenstein gets a mention, logic gets questionable, and a new topic is born… Next episode: reanimation. Because of course it is. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

1 de jun de 202632 min
Portada del episodio 175 - Crazy Monkey to Funeral Options

175 - Crazy Monkey to Funeral Options

Adam and Kyle kick things off with a blast from South African internet history: Crazy Monkey, the gloriously low-budget, aggressively pointless prank series that somehow became a cult phenomenon. Think Jackass… if nobody involved could quite be bothered to commit to the stunt. There’s deep appreciation for the absurdity of it all: prank calls where nobody answers, shopping trolley “stunts” that barely move, and dramatic intros for painfully ordinary activities. The lads unpack why the humour worked so well — a perfect parody of early-2000s “extreme” culture where even standing near a microwave with a cell phone somehow counted as dangerous entertainment. From there, the rabbit hole deepens into Straight Outta Benoni. The bizarre feature film spun out of the Crazy Monkey crew. Kyle revisits the strange plot, local auditions, failed music dreams, random lake monsters, and the surreal experience of watching people from his hometown accidentally become movie stars. There’s nostalgia, confusion, and genuine disbelief that the whole thing seems to have almost vanished from the internet entirely. But as always, the Continuum can’t stay in one lane for long. The conversation slowly drifts from forgotten internet culture into the far more existential topic of funerals. Suddenly it’s burial vs cremation, funeral costs, bizarre send-off ideas, and the strange reality that most people never really discuss what they actually want done after they die. Naturally, the lads approach it with the perfect balance of curiosity and inappropriate humour. Weighing up practicalities, awkward traditions, and whether modern funerals are more for the living than the dead. It’s nostalgic, weirdly philosophical, and exactly the kind of episode that starts with shopping trolley pranks and somehow ends with end-of-life planning — a classic Continuum spiral from internet stupidity to mortality itself. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

25 de may de 202631 min
Portada del episodio 174 - Barbers to Crazy Monkey

174 - Barbers to Crazy Monkey

Adam and Kyle pick up where they left off with barbers, delving into the boredom, and the deeply uncomfortable art of small talk while someone holds scissors near your ears. From childhood salon trauma to choosing barbers specifically to avoid conversation, they unpack why haircuts should be transactional and fast… and why Turkish/Kurdish barbers, language barriers, and cash‑only mysteries somehow make that possible. Things take a darker turn as they question hygiene, barbicide, shared scissors, tapeworm horror stories, and whether half the barbers on the high street are hairdressers, money‑laundering fronts, or both. Cue discussions about haircut prices, tipping etiquette, strategic balding haircuts, and the universal truth that bald men look better with beards. That spirals naturally into celebrity lookalikes. Christopher Meloni, Edward Norton disputes, and the brutal reality of AI face‑matching accusing Adam of looking like Nick Frost, James Corden, and Jonah Hill (which goes down about as well as you’d expect). From there, the episode pivots hard into pure nostalgia: Eminem albums bought in secret and subsequently confiscated by parents, MTV after dark, and the golden age of music television… Cribs, Pimp My Ride, Celebrity Deathmatch, Beavis & Butt‑Head, and the slow death of music channels as reality TV took over. The episode closes with a deep cut: Crazy Monkey—South Africa’s home‑grown Jackass knock‑off that somehow exploded into a cult hit, spawned a movie, and nearly changed Kyle’s life trajectory entirely. Equal parts ridiculous, nostalgic, and faintly tragic, it tees up a full Crazy Monkey deep dive next episode. Classic Continuum: barbers, baldness, banned CDs, bad AI opinions, and absolute cultural chaos. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

18 de may de 202631 min
Portada del episodio 173 - Bidets to Barbers

173 - Bidets to Barbers

Adam returns from the continent with stories that absolutely did not need telling... but tells them anyway. What starts as an innocent curiosity about hotel bidets quickly derails into robot toilets, heated seats, accidental self‑irrigation, and the very real fear of walking around with a soggy arse and no instructions. From Japanese high‑tech toilets to British bidet confusion, the lads ask the big questions no one wants to Google: how are you actually meant to use one? Somehow, the conversation escalates into haemorrhoids. How they appear, why everyone panics it’s cancer, and the quiet shame of buying cream at the chemist while pretending it’s “for your gran.” It’s crude, honest, and uncomfortably relatable. From there, Adam shifts gears into travel tales from Spain: Google Translate diplomacy, Barcelona taxi drivers driving like it’s Mario Kart, pigeon near‑misses, and Catalonia’s week‑long Valentine’s tradition involving roses and books. Then, naturally, the episode swerves again, this time into the strange universe of barbers. Turkish barbers, Kurdish barbers, flaming ear hair, nostril waxing, hot towels that last forever, beard perfection, and the shocking moment Kyle accidentally got a spray‑on hairline and briefly became Action Man. Relaxing for some, psychological torture for others. It’s peak Continuum: filthy, funny, culturally confused, and packed with stories you can’t unhear, ending with a promise to go even deeper into barbers next time. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod ---------------------------------------- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy [https://acast.com/privacy] for more information.

11 de may de 202631 min