Stop Living on Auto-Pilot | The Essence of You Podcast

Puzzles, Purpose, & The Best Job Ever with Joey Maxey | The Essence of You Podcast

Joey Maxey wears a lot of hats - actor, filmmaker, dancer, cosplayer, and host of the vintage jigsaw puzzle YouTube channel Janky Puzzles. But ask him what he's proudest of, and he'll tell you it's his job as an elementary school janitor. In this episode, Steph Lokelani sits down with her longtime friend and collaborator to trace a career that's gone from indie feature films (including their own "Retreat" film) to retail, a hospital front desk, and a dream job delivering mail for the USPS, cut short by an epilepsy diagnosis. Joey opens up about being homeless and sleeping in his car, losing both parents, and the piece of advice from his grandmother that changed how he thinks about happiness altogether: stop chasing it, and chase contentment instead. Steph and Joey also get into the craft side of filmmaking - lighting, method acting, and why a well-run set matters - before landing on the deeply human question Steph asks every guest... listen to find out what it is. About Joey Maxey Joey Maxey is the goofy but lovable TV Dad in this situation comedy of life, one in which he relishes being the supporting character of a show that’s not his. He loves listening to people’s stories, learning about their hobbies, and sharing in those mutual experiences.  From community theater, independent films, burlesque reviews, stand up comedy, movie podcaster, he has carried many “dashes” in life. Currently he is the host of the YouTube show “Janky Puzzles”, exploring the world of vintage jigsaw puzzles of all things, who knows what buffoonery will come his way next.  He is a family man, a creative, a janitor, but most of all…alive. Which is pretty cool. 📌 Key Takeaways Career reinvention is rarely a straight line — Joey's path wound through retail, a hospital, a school, and the post office before he found his favorite job yet. A life-altering diagnosis can force a pivot you didn't choose, and that's okay. Chase contentment, not happiness — happiness is a moving target, contentment is something you can actually hold onto. The most "unglamorous" jobs can be the most meaningful ones. Hard seasons (grief, homelessness, hardship) don't have to define you, and acknowledging them doesn't mean minimizing them. Small, weird, specific memories — a chili contest, a truck-stop rib dinner — often mean more than the big bucket-list wins. Curiosity and not taking yourself too seriously might be the whole secret. Check out Joey's YouTube Channel, Janky Puzzles! https://www.youtube.com/@JankyPuzzles ⏱️ Chapters 0:00 – Cold open & pre-show banter 1:42 – Welcome to the show & how Joey and Steph met 3:23 – Making "Retreat" - their first film together 7:11 – The craft of low-budget filmmaking & staying present as an actor 12:58 – Lighting, gaffers, and why practical light matters 16:21 – Joey's official bio (and unofficial titles) 17:19 – 24 years in retail, then a hospital and a school 24:15 – The dream job that got cut short and an epilepsy diagnosis 28:33 – Why being a school janitor is the best job Joey's ever had 38:49 – Grandma's wisdom: chase contentment, not happiness 50:53 – Janky Puzzles: Joey's vintage jigsaw puzzle YouTube channel 51:49 – The wild true story behind Thomas Kinkade 1:03:03 – Mental health, hard seasons, and finding gratitude anyway 1:13:56 – Who is Joey Maxey at his core? 1:17:04 – Check out Janky Puzzles + final thoughts

Celia Espinoza on Cultural Identity & Finding Her Way Home | The Essence of You Podcast

In this episode of The Essence of You Podcast, host Steph Lokelani sits down with her friend Celia Espinoza, a finance officer at Idaho Housing and Finance Association, for a heartfelt conversation about culture, identity, and the winding paths that lead us home to ourselves. Steph and Celia first connected through the Boise Metro Chamber's b|Wise mentorship program, and their friendship has only deepened since. Together they explore what it means to feel disconnected from your heritage while living far from your roots, and how food, music, family rituals, and even a spontaneous trip to Mexico City or Hawaii can reconnect you to where you come from. Celia opens up about a life-changing trip to Standing Rock in 2016, a period of homelessness that followed, and the full-circle career journey that eventually led her into affordable housing finance. She also shares how a mentor believed in her before she believed in herself, and how she now pays that forward through community outreach with organizations like Breaking Chains in Nampa. Steph shares her own journey reclaiming her Hawaiian middle name, Lokelani, and the family recipes and traditions that keep her culture alive here in Boise. This is a conversation about mentorship, motherhood, cultural pride, and finding your way back to what really matters.   About Celia Espinoza: Celia works in affordable housing finance and development across Idaho, but her story is rooted in much more than her career. A grandmother, a first-generation Mexican American, a lifelong learner, and someone deeply connected to culture, spirituality, and community, she draws from her own experiences navigating hardship and finding her voice. Her journey has shaped a passion for creating opportunity, encouraging others to see themselves in spaces they may have never imagined, and honoring the stories that make us who we are.   Key Takeaways:  - Community and mentorship (like the b|Wise program) can turn strangers into lifelong friends and support systems. - Feeling disconnected from your culture is common when you're raised far from your community, but small rituals can help you reclaim it. - A single trip to your ancestral homeland can be profoundly grounding, even if you can't trace your exact family history. - Sometimes the people who believe in you before you believe in yourself change the entire trajectory of your career. - Giving back looks different for everyone: from mentoring interns to giving at-risk youth a tour of your workplace. - Culture is often kept alive through the smallest things: Saturday morning music, a family recipe, or a name you almost stopped using.   Chapters: 00:00 - Cold open 00:20 - Welcome to The Essence of You 00:36 - How Steph and Celia met through b|Wise 03:38 - Networking without the small talk 07:24 - A healing retreat with an herbalist 11:13 - Feeling disconnected from your culture 15:46 - Capturing grandma's stories before they're gone 18:49 - Discovering Giraffe Laugh 26:18 - Lomi lomi salmon & Hawaiian food traditions 28:10 - Keeping culture alive on Saturday mornings 29:38 - Four names & reclaiming a Hawaiian identity 34:16 - The calling to Standing Rock 42:54 - Homelessness to a full-circle career 46:16 - The mentor who believed in her first 51:35 - Giving back through Breaking Chains 57:29 - Hobbies, flow & making time for creativity 1:00:25 - Who are you at your core?

We Are Not Each Other's Enemy: Adrienne Evans on Democracy | The Essence of You Podcast

In this timely conversation,  Steph Lokelani sits down with her dear friend Adrienne Evans, Executive Director of United Vision for Idaho (UVI), for a raw, wide-ranging conversation about political division, authoritarianism, and how everyday people can rebuild community across difference. From growing up in rural Idaho to a life-changing visit to Auschwitz, Adrienne shares hard-won wisdom from 17+ years leading UVI and over 107,000 conversations across 13 states. They talk rural Idaho organizing, the difference between mobilizing and organizing, why nonprofits are under real threat, Adrienne's upcoming memoir, and the new documentary "Democracy in Motion." A heartfelt, honest episode about staying human in a divided world. About Adrienne Evans: Adrienne Evans is the executive director for United Vision for Idaho, the state’s only multi-issue, progressive coalition. She’s a sociologist with a background in multi-issue movement development with an emphasis on the intersections of economic, social, and racial justice. A nationally recognized social justice organizer, strategist, renown public speaker and facilitator, she is an organizer at heart and in practice. Her perspective and work on key state and national campaigns has been a critical voice to move both policy and practice. She cultivates and works with organizations and leaders locally, nationally, and internationally to cultivate a new spirit of collaboration to develop strategies and interventions and to fundamentally address the existential crisis of democracy collectively facing all of us. Strategic, bold and unafraid to tackle our greatest challenges coming from one of the most conservative places in the country and situated in a state that is a target of rising anti-democratic, authoritarian, and militarized with deepening investment, she spearheaded a revolutionary program that has amassed the greatest set of quantitative and qualitative data from those aligned with anti-democratic and authoritarian movements to reorient the progressive movement and lay the foundation for strategic interventions to meet the gravity of a declining democracy. The project, United Vision Project is game changing for our ability to hold and advance a democracy for all of us, hailed by senior research partner, Steven Gardner at Political Research Associates as, “The first time anything like this has ever been attempted, the closest thing might be the work of Theodor Adorno studying the rise of authoritarianism after the Spanish Civil War." Key Takeaways: - Division grows when we stop seeing each other's humanity - curiosity and small acts of "neighboring" can rebuild it - Organizing ≠ mobilizing: real change starts with relationships, not just turnout - Only 6% of philanthropic dollars reach rural communities - nonprofits need grassroots support now more than ever - Democracy is like a garden: it must be tended, or the weeds take over - Adrienne's upcoming memoir and the documentary "Democracy in Motion" both explore what it takes to build a movement beyond party lines - United Vision Project trains people to have real conversations across political extremes — learn more at UnitedVisionProject.org 🔗 Learn More: United Vision for Idaho: https://uvidaho.org/ United Vision Project: https://unitedvisionproject.org/ 🎧 Follow The Essence of You https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou Chapters: 00:00 - Cold open, welcome & how Steph and Adrienne met 01:13 - Inside United Vision for Idaho (UVI) 05:24 - Political division hits home 09:17 - Finding common ground with neighbors 13:14 - Randy's story: rural Idaho & changed minds 15:48 - Organizing vs. mobilizing 18:49 - No Kings protests & taking real action 22:16 - Nonprofits under attack 24:18 - Democracy is like a garden 26:15 - Writing a memoir in the middle of it all 30:27 - Inside the documentary "Democracy in Motion" 33:17 - Building the world we want 37:35 - "Neighboring" & leading with curiosity 39:42 - Where our opinions on race really come from 42:55 - Community, belonging & veterans 46:26 - Auschwitz, hobbies & Adrienne's personal story 54:54 - Disillusioned with the two-party system 57:27 - Why politics does you, whether you like it or not 59:52 - Who is Adrienne at her core? 1:02:19 - Announcing Motion Storyworks 1:03:52 - United Vision Project & closing thoughts

The Wound, The Field & Girls on the Mat with Jamie Lange | The Essence of You Podcast

Jamie Lange has spent her career sitting in two different rooms - the therapy chair and the yoga mat - and on this episode of The Essence of You, she brings the wisdom from both into one of the most layered, tender, and unexpectedly funny conversations of the series yet. Jamie is a licensed therapist, owner of Front Street Yoga, and founder of the nonprofit Girls on the Mat. She joins Steph for a conversation about the ideas we never chose but carry anyway. They start with the Rumi quote on Jamie's studio wall: "Out beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there," and use it to unpack why the people we find hardest to love are often just mirrors of ourselves, why family wounds cut deeper than any other kind, and what it costs to be the one everyone assumes "has it together." The second half goes deep about Girls on the Mat: how it grew out of Jamie's own girlhood wounds, why research now shows girls losing their self-esteem as young as nine, and how nervous system literacy - not perfection - is the real work of healing. It closes on a Rumi line that says it best: "The wound is the place where the light enters you." This episode includes candid discussions of divorce, childhood trauma, and family estrangement. About Jamie Lange Jamie Lange, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), E-RYT 500, M.A., M.Counseling, is a psychotherapist, yoga therapist, educator, and speaker dedicated to helping people heal through the integration of neuroscience, spirituality, psychology, movement, and mindfulness. For the past decade, she has served the Boise community through Humble Warrior Counseling, Consulting & Yoga, where she specializes in trauma and nervous system regulation using yoga therapy, somatic approaches, including EMDR and meditation. Jamie is also the founder and Executive Director of Girls on the Mat, a nonprofit organization that empowers girls through nervous system literacy, breathwork, movement, and community. She is also the owner of Front Street Yoga and Healing, a wellness studio that brings together yoga, mental health, and holistic healing under one roof. Rooted in both yoga and Buddhist philosophy, Jamie believes healing is never a solitary act. It is something we create together. “I create you and you create me.” Every interaction leaves an imprint. We can create from pain, or we can create from love. We get to choose. Through healing ourselves, we become capable of co-creating lives, relationships, and communities rooted in compassion, courage, and love. 🔗 Connect with Jamie Lange Front Street Yoga: https://www.frontstreetyoga.com/ [https://www.frontstreetyoga.com/] Humble Warrior Counseling: https://www.frontstreetyoga.com/humble-warrior-counseling [https://www.frontstreetyoga.com/humble-warrior-counseling] Girls on the Mat: https://www.girlsonthemat.com/ [https://www.girlsonthemat.com/] 🎧 Follow The Essence of You https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou [https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou] 💡 KEY TAKEAWAYS - Most beliefs about who we are were given to us, not chosen, which means we can give them back. - People we find "difficult to love" often reflect something in ourselves we don't want to face. - Family wounds cut deeper because family carries an implicit promise of safety. - A Klesha is an idea we're stuck in. Meeting someone there, instead of reacting, stops the ripple. - Healing isn't about being finished, it's noticing when you're activated and regulating in the moment. - Girls on the Mat was born from Jamie's own girlhood wounds: "When we heal girls, we help women. When we heal women, we save girls." - New research shows girls now lose self-esteem as early as age nine. - "The wound is the place where the light enters you" - our hardest experiences often become our purpose. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold Open 00:28 Welcome + How Steph Met Jamie 02:11 Yoga for Good: A Decade of Giving 05:43 Meet Jamie Lange 06:42 The Rumi Quote on Jamie's Wall 09:08 Steph: Taught to Be Racist as a Kid 11:37 People "Difficult to Love" 14:00 Steph & Her Sister 16:35 Why Family Wounds Hit Differently 20:00 Divorce, Frodo the dog, and Broken Safety 24:00 Cosmo's Essay: "Luckiest Kid Alive" 27:00 Just Ideas: Body Image & Self-Talk 28:00 Why Steph Started Attending the Women's Group 30:00 The Pool Is Closed 33:00 "Remember Who the F*** You Are" 36:43 Five Years of Facilitating Groups 40:33 Jamie the Human, Not Just the Therapist 46:03 Safety in Yoga Teacher Training 47:35 Choosing a Different Kind of Studio 50:37 Kleshas: Our Stuck Ideas 55:32 Mirrors in Marriage 58:20 The Birth of Girls on the Mat 59:45 "Heal Girls, Help Women" 1:01:42 Real Results in Boise Schools 1:03:33 Trauma, Branding & Mental Health 1:04:51 Facilitators & Studio Partners 1:09:00 Camps + Girl Scout Partnership 1:11:08 Self-Esteem Now Drops at Age 9 1:13:48 Should Facilitators Heal First? 1:16:45 Nervous System Literacy 1:19:00 Nothing to Shed 1:21:00 Breathwork in Real Time 1:23:42 Rumi: Where the Light Enters 1:25:00 Jamie's Wounds, Quiet Violence 1:27:08 Walking Toward the Wound 1:29:13 Who Are You at Your Core? 1:31:36 Sign-Off

I Get Paid to Cuss at Cops: Jen Potcher on Acting & Female Film Slayers | The Essence of You Podcast

In this episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with Jen Potcher - an actor, singer, and karaoke host based in Boise - for a wide-ranging conversation about the many lives of a working actor and the power of women supporting women. Jen pulls back the curtain on her work as a "standardized patient" and role player: an actor who steps into realistic scenarios for nursing schools, police academies, the Department of Correction, genetic counseling telehealth sessions, and even fair housing discrimination testing. She talks candidly about the emotional toll of playing victims, perpetrators, and everything in between, the validating moments that remind her why the work matters, and the hustle of piecing together a living as a working actor. The conversation then shifts to Jen's proudest accomplishment: founding Female Film Slayers, a Boise-based community of women in film born out of a need for connection, safety, and support in an industry that can be tough on women both in front of and behind the camera. Jen walks through the group's evolution, from karaoke nights and a living-room makeup class to four award-winning short films: "#Ded," the 13 Stories musical "A Pack of Cigarettes and 11 Cents," the festival-winning "Pinky Promise," and their most ambitious project yet, "Bluebird," a mob-and-trafficking thriller shot at the Egyptian Theater (complete with a real fire alarm scare that may have saved the historic building). Steph and Jen close out with a reflection on identity beneath the titles, and a peek into Jen's life as a karaoke host at the Balcony Club, where - as she puts it - everyone is a rock star. About Jen Potcher: Jen Potcher is a local actress, singer, and filmmaker who has spent more than three decades honing her craft in theater and film. Audiences can catch her solving crimes in The Dinner Detective Interactive Murder Mystery Show or performing the National Anthem at sporting and community events throughout the Treasure Valley. By day, Jen brings realism to nursing and law enforcement training programs through simulation-based acting. Her proudest accomplishment, however, is founding The Female Film Slayers of Idaho. What began as a social and support group for women in film has evolved into an award-winning team of fierce female filmmakers dedicated to creating original stories and uplifting one another's voices. Their latest film, Blue Bird, was recognized with multiple awards at the Idaho Film Family Festival, where the team earned honors for directing, cinematography, and acting, including Best Actress, and Best Supporting Actress for Jen. Bluebird is currently on the festival circuit.  A passionate advocate for the arts and a proud ally, Jen can also be found hosting karaoke every Sunday night at The Balcony Club, Idaho's premier LGBTQ+ nightclub. Key Takeaways: * "Standardized patient" and role-player acting work is a legitimate, ongoing career path. Jen acts in realistic training scenarios for nursing schools, multiple police academies, the Department of Correction, genetic counseling telehealth sessions, and fair housing discrimination testing. * This kind of acting carries real emotional weight. Running the same intense scenario dozens of times in a day - crying, screaming, playing victims or perpetrators - is exhausting in a way people outside the industry rarely recognize. * Validating moments (a former police trainee crediting a scenario for a life lesson learned, or being asked to demo a technique no one had seen a role player do before) help combat the imposter syndrome that even experienced actors constantly feel. * Acting careers are built through relationships and persistence, not a single break. Jen's path started with a friend's tip about River City Entertainment in 2018, then snowballed through referrals into Boise State, Grand Canyon University, multiple police academies, and beyond. * Female Film Slayers was born from a real, felt need: women in the local film industry needed a safe space to support each other, share information, and combat the isolation of working with the same talented women without ever really getting to know them. * Big creative projects don't require expertise up front, they require a willingness to learn together. Female Film Slayers' four films show a clear and rapid growth curve in production quality, built one project at a time. * Inclusion was a deliberate choice. On "Bluebird," every single person who auditioned was offered a role, with the team finding creative ways to weave in extras, fight performers, and first-time crew members. * Community accountability matters. Female Film Slayers exists in part to give women a place to bring concerns about harassment on set and figure out, together, how to respond and support one another. * Karaoke hosting, much like Jen's other work, is about giving people their moment. Her hosting philosophy: "everyone at my show is a rock star," regardless of skill level. Chapters: 00:00 – Cold open: dollar movie nights and the joy of going solo 00:52 – Welcome to The Essence of You & meeting Jen Potcher 01:00 – How Steph and Jen met, and the staged reading "Being Jane Eyre" 06:57 – You don't have to go to Hollywood: becoming a "standardized patient" 09:15 – Police academies, the Department of Correction & telehealth genetic counseling 12:58 – Scripts vs. improv in training scenarios 17:08 – Getting into role-player work, quitting her day job, and her first paid gig 20:25 – Fair housing testing and hosting The Dinner Detective murder mystery show 24:21 – The hidden exhaustion of playing different people all day 26:19 – The craziest characters she's been asked to play 28:58 – Why Jen started Female Film Slayers 32:49 – First gatherings: karaoke nights and a community makeup class 34:30 – Future class ideas: gun safety, horses, and harassment protocols 36:27 – How the group got its name 37:08 – First film, "#Ded," and the 13 Stories musical 44:03 – Second film, "Pinky Promise," and its festival wins 50:50 – Fourth film "Bluebird": inspired by The Godfather and Commando 56:02 – Behind the scenes: 31 cast members, fight choreography & cinematographer April Frame 1:01:50 – Why the film is called "Bluebird" 1:02:08 – The Female Film Slayers screening night and the Egyptian Theater fire scare 1:09:44 – Reflecting on the group and what's next 1:12:01 – Closing question: Who are you at your core? 1:13:42 – Life as a karaoke host: "everyone's a rock star" 1:16:52 – Closing thanks and an invitation to join Female Film Slayers