The Essence of You Podcast

We Are Not Each Other's Enemy: Adrienne Evans on Democracy | The Essence of You Podcast

In this timely conversation,  Steph Lokelani sits down with her dear friend Adrienne Evans, Executive Director of United Vision for Idaho (UVI), for a raw, wide-ranging conversation about political division, authoritarianism, and how everyday people can rebuild community across difference. From growing up in rural Idaho to a life-changing visit to Auschwitz, Adrienne shares hard-won wisdom from 17+ years leading UVI and over 107,000 conversations across 13 states. They talk rural Idaho organizing, the difference between mobilizing and organizing, why nonprofits are under real threat, Adrienne's upcoming memoir, and the new documentary "Democracy in Motion." A heartfelt, honest episode about staying human in a divided world. About Adrienne Evans: Adrienne Evans is the executive director for United Vision for Idaho, the state’s only multi-issue, progressive coalition. She’s a sociologist with a background in multi-issue movement development with an emphasis on the intersections of economic, social, and racial justice. A nationally recognized social justice organizer, strategist, renown public speaker and facilitator, she is an organizer at heart and in practice. Her perspective and work on key state and national campaigns has been a critical voice to move both policy and practice. She cultivates and works with organizations and leaders locally, nationally, and internationally to cultivate a new spirit of collaboration to develop strategies and interventions and to fundamentally address the existential crisis of democracy collectively facing all of us. Strategic, bold and unafraid to tackle our greatest challenges coming from one of the most conservative places in the country and situated in a state that is a target of rising anti-democratic, authoritarian, and militarized with deepening investment, she spearheaded a revolutionary program that has amassed the greatest set of quantitative and qualitative data from those aligned with anti-democratic and authoritarian movements to reorient the progressive movement and lay the foundation for strategic interventions to meet the gravity of a declining democracy. The project, United Vision Project is game changing for our ability to hold and advance a democracy for all of us, hailed by senior research partner, Steven Gardner at Political Research Associates as, “The first time anything like this has ever been attempted, the closest thing might be the work of Theodor Adorno studying the rise of authoritarianism after the Spanish Civil War." Key Takeaways: - Division grows when we stop seeing each other's humanity - curiosity and small acts of "neighboring" can rebuild it - Organizing ≠ mobilizing: real change starts with relationships, not just turnout - Only 6% of philanthropic dollars reach rural communities - nonprofits need grassroots support now more than ever - Democracy is like a garden: it must be tended, or the weeds take over - Adrienne's upcoming memoir and the documentary "Democracy in Motion" both explore what it takes to build a movement beyond party lines - United Vision Project trains people to have real conversations across political extremes — learn more at UnitedVisionProject.org 🔗 Learn More: United Vision for Idaho: https://uvidaho.org/ United Vision Project: https://unitedvisionproject.org/ 🎧 Follow The Essence of You https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou Chapters: 00:00 - Cold open, welcome & how Steph and Adrienne met 01:13 - Inside United Vision for Idaho (UVI) 05:24 - Political division hits home 09:17 - Finding common ground with neighbors 13:14 - Randy's story: rural Idaho & changed minds 15:48 - Organizing vs. mobilizing 18:49 - No Kings protests & taking real action 22:16 - Nonprofits under attack 24:18 - Democracy is like a garden 26:15 - Writing a memoir in the middle of it all 30:27 - Inside the documentary "Democracy in Motion" 33:17 - Building the world we want 37:35 - "Neighboring" & leading with curiosity 39:42 - Where our opinions on race really come from 42:55 - Community, belonging & veterans 46:26 - Auschwitz, hobbies & Adrienne's personal story 54:54 - Disillusioned with the two-party system 57:27 - Why politics does you, whether you like it or not 59:52 - Who is Adrienne at her core? 1:02:19 - Announcing Motion Storyworks 1:03:52 - United Vision Project & closing thoughts

The Wound, The Field & Girls on the Mat with Jamie Lange | The Essence of You Podcast

Jamie Lange has spent her career sitting in two different rooms - the therapy chair and the yoga mat - and on this episode of The Essence of You, she brings the wisdom from both into one of the most layered, tender, and unexpectedly funny conversations of the series yet. Jamie is a licensed therapist, owner of Front Street Yoga, and founder of the nonprofit Girls on the Mat. She joins Steph for a conversation about the ideas we never chose but carry anyway. They start with the Rumi quote on Jamie's studio wall: "Out beyond ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I will meet you there," and use it to unpack why the people we find hardest to love are often just mirrors of ourselves, why family wounds cut deeper than any other kind, and what it costs to be the one everyone assumes "has it together." The second half goes deep about Girls on the Mat: how it grew out of Jamie's own girlhood wounds, why research now shows girls losing their self-esteem as young as nine, and how nervous system literacy - not perfection - is the real work of healing. It closes on a Rumi line that says it best: "The wound is the place where the light enters you." This episode includes candid discussions of divorce, childhood trauma, and family estrangement. About Jamie Lange Jamie Lange, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), E-RYT 500, M.A., M.Counseling, is a psychotherapist, yoga therapist, educator, and speaker dedicated to helping people heal through the integration of neuroscience, spirituality, psychology, movement, and mindfulness. For the past decade, she has served the Boise community through Humble Warrior Counseling, Consulting & Yoga, where she specializes in trauma and nervous system regulation using yoga therapy, somatic approaches, including EMDR and meditation. Jamie is also the founder and Executive Director of Girls on the Mat, a nonprofit organization that empowers girls through nervous system literacy, breathwork, movement, and community. She is also the owner of Front Street Yoga and Healing, a wellness studio that brings together yoga, mental health, and holistic healing under one roof. Rooted in both yoga and Buddhist philosophy, Jamie believes healing is never a solitary act. It is something we create together. “I create you and you create me.” Every interaction leaves an imprint. We can create from pain, or we can create from love. We get to choose. Through healing ourselves, we become capable of co-creating lives, relationships, and communities rooted in compassion, courage, and love. 🔗 Connect with Jamie Lange Front Street Yoga: https://www.frontstreetyoga.com/ [https://www.frontstreetyoga.com/] Humble Warrior Counseling: https://www.frontstreetyoga.com/humble-warrior-counseling [https://www.frontstreetyoga.com/humble-warrior-counseling] Girls on the Mat: https://www.girlsonthemat.com/ [https://www.girlsonthemat.com/] 🎧 Follow The Essence of You https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou [https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou] 💡 KEY TAKEAWAYS - Most beliefs about who we are were given to us, not chosen, which means we can give them back. - People we find "difficult to love" often reflect something in ourselves we don't want to face. - Family wounds cut deeper because family carries an implicit promise of safety. - A Klesha is an idea we're stuck in. Meeting someone there, instead of reacting, stops the ripple. - Healing isn't about being finished, it's noticing when you're activated and regulating in the moment. - Girls on the Mat was born from Jamie's own girlhood wounds: "When we heal girls, we help women. When we heal women, we save girls." - New research shows girls now lose self-esteem as early as age nine. - "The wound is the place where the light enters you" - our hardest experiences often become our purpose. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 Cold Open 00:28 Welcome + How Steph Met Jamie 02:11 Yoga for Good: A Decade of Giving 05:43 Meet Jamie Lange 06:42 The Rumi Quote on Jamie's Wall 09:08 Steph: Taught to Be Racist as a Kid 11:37 People "Difficult to Love" 14:00 Steph & Her Sister 16:35 Why Family Wounds Hit Differently 20:00 Divorce, Frodo the dog, and Broken Safety 24:00 Cosmo's Essay: "Luckiest Kid Alive" 27:00 Just Ideas: Body Image & Self-Talk 28:00 Why Steph Started Attending the Women's Group 30:00 The Pool Is Closed 33:00 "Remember Who the F*** You Are" 36:43 Five Years of Facilitating Groups 40:33 Jamie the Human, Not Just the Therapist 46:03 Safety in Yoga Teacher Training 47:35 Choosing a Different Kind of Studio 50:37 Kleshas: Our Stuck Ideas 55:32 Mirrors in Marriage 58:20 The Birth of Girls on the Mat 59:45 "Heal Girls, Help Women" 1:01:42 Real Results in Boise Schools 1:03:33 Trauma, Branding & Mental Health 1:04:51 Facilitators & Studio Partners 1:09:00 Camps + Girl Scout Partnership 1:11:08 Self-Esteem Now Drops at Age 9 1:13:48 Should Facilitators Heal First? 1:16:45 Nervous System Literacy 1:19:00 Nothing to Shed 1:21:00 Breathwork in Real Time 1:23:42 Rumi: Where the Light Enters 1:25:00 Jamie's Wounds, Quiet Violence 1:27:08 Walking Toward the Wound 1:29:13 Who Are You at Your Core? 1:31:36 Sign-Off

I Get Paid to Cuss at Cops: Jen Potcher on Acting & Female Film Slayers | The Essence of You Podcast

In this episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with Jen Potcher - an actor, singer, and karaoke host based in Boise - for a wide-ranging conversation about the many lives of a working actor and the power of women supporting women. Jen pulls back the curtain on her work as a "standardized patient" and role player: an actor who steps into realistic scenarios for nursing schools, police academies, the Department of Correction, genetic counseling telehealth sessions, and even fair housing discrimination testing. She talks candidly about the emotional toll of playing victims, perpetrators, and everything in between, the validating moments that remind her why the work matters, and the hustle of piecing together a living as a working actor. The conversation then shifts to Jen's proudest accomplishment: founding Female Film Slayers, a Boise-based community of women in film born out of a need for connection, safety, and support in an industry that can be tough on women both in front of and behind the camera. Jen walks through the group's evolution, from karaoke nights and a living-room makeup class to four award-winning short films: "#Ded," the 13 Stories musical "A Pack of Cigarettes and 11 Cents," the festival-winning "Pinky Promise," and their most ambitious project yet, "Bluebird," a mob-and-trafficking thriller shot at the Egyptian Theater (complete with a real fire alarm scare that may have saved the historic building). Steph and Jen close out with a reflection on identity beneath the titles, and a peek into Jen's life as a karaoke host at the Balcony Club, where - as she puts it - everyone is a rock star. About Jen Potcher: Jen Potcher is a local actress, singer, and filmmaker who has spent more than three decades honing her craft in theater and film. Audiences can catch her solving crimes in The Dinner Detective Interactive Murder Mystery Show or performing the National Anthem at sporting and community events throughout the Treasure Valley. By day, Jen brings realism to nursing and law enforcement training programs through simulation-based acting. Her proudest accomplishment, however, is founding The Female Film Slayers of Idaho. What began as a social and support group for women in film has evolved into an award-winning team of fierce female filmmakers dedicated to creating original stories and uplifting one another's voices. Their latest film, Blue Bird, was recognized with multiple awards at the Idaho Film Family Festival, where the team earned honors for directing, cinematography, and acting, including Best Actress, and Best Supporting Actress for Jen. Bluebird is currently on the festival circuit.  A passionate advocate for the arts and a proud ally, Jen can also be found hosting karaoke every Sunday night at The Balcony Club, Idaho's premier LGBTQ+ nightclub. Key Takeaways: * "Standardized patient" and role-player acting work is a legitimate, ongoing career path. Jen acts in realistic training scenarios for nursing schools, multiple police academies, the Department of Correction, genetic counseling telehealth sessions, and fair housing discrimination testing. * This kind of acting carries real emotional weight. Running the same intense scenario dozens of times in a day - crying, screaming, playing victims or perpetrators - is exhausting in a way people outside the industry rarely recognize. * Validating moments (a former police trainee crediting a scenario for a life lesson learned, or being asked to demo a technique no one had seen a role player do before) help combat the imposter syndrome that even experienced actors constantly feel. * Acting careers are built through relationships and persistence, not a single break. Jen's path started with a friend's tip about River City Entertainment in 2018, then snowballed through referrals into Boise State, Grand Canyon University, multiple police academies, and beyond. * Female Film Slayers was born from a real, felt need: women in the local film industry needed a safe space to support each other, share information, and combat the isolation of working with the same talented women without ever really getting to know them. * Big creative projects don't require expertise up front, they require a willingness to learn together. Female Film Slayers' four films show a clear and rapid growth curve in production quality, built one project at a time. * Inclusion was a deliberate choice. On "Bluebird," every single person who auditioned was offered a role, with the team finding creative ways to weave in extras, fight performers, and first-time crew members. * Community accountability matters. Female Film Slayers exists in part to give women a place to bring concerns about harassment on set and figure out, together, how to respond and support one another. * Karaoke hosting, much like Jen's other work, is about giving people their moment. Her hosting philosophy: "everyone at my show is a rock star," regardless of skill level. Chapters: 00:00 – Cold open: dollar movie nights and the joy of going solo 00:52 – Welcome to The Essence of You & meeting Jen Potcher 01:00 – How Steph and Jen met, and the staged reading "Being Jane Eyre" 06:57 – You don't have to go to Hollywood: becoming a "standardized patient" 09:15 – Police academies, the Department of Correction & telehealth genetic counseling 12:58 – Scripts vs. improv in training scenarios 17:08 – Getting into role-player work, quitting her day job, and her first paid gig 20:25 – Fair housing testing and hosting The Dinner Detective murder mystery show 24:21 – The hidden exhaustion of playing different people all day 26:19 – The craziest characters she's been asked to play 28:58 – Why Jen started Female Film Slayers 32:49 – First gatherings: karaoke nights and a community makeup class 34:30 – Future class ideas: gun safety, horses, and harassment protocols 36:27 – How the group got its name 37:08 – First film, "#Ded," and the 13 Stories musical 44:03 – Second film, "Pinky Promise," and its festival wins 50:50 – Fourth film "Bluebird": inspired by The Godfather and Commando 56:02 – Behind the scenes: 31 cast members, fight choreography & cinematographer April Frame 1:01:50 – Why the film is called "Bluebird" 1:02:08 – The Female Film Slayers screening night and the Egyptian Theater fire scare 1:09:44 – Reflecting on the group and what's next 1:12:01 – Closing question: Who are you at your core? 1:13:42 – Life as a karaoke host: "everyone's a rock star" 1:16:52 – Closing thanks and an invitation to join Female Film Slayers

Breaking Chains & Finding Your Core | The Essence of You Podcast

In this heartfelt episode, host Steph Lokelani sits down with her close friend, elementary school computer teacher, and yoga teacher trainee Mallory Wirz for a conversation that is equal parts raw, funny, and deeply moving. Steph and Mallory met through a two-year women's healing retreat. Their shared story of growing up as the oldest siblings, navigating trauma, and choosing the hard work of healing forms the backbone of this episode. From breaking generational cycles and raising emotionally empowered kids, to standing up to bullying, teaching compassion in the classroom, and finding meditative peace underwater, Mallory's journey is one of quiet, powerful transformation. Whether you are in the thick of your healing journey, wondering if it is worth it, or looking for proof that you can come out stronger on the other side, this episode is for you. About Mallory Wirz: I am Mallory Wirz. I am a wife, mother of 3 wonderful kids, a computer teacher and learning how to become a yoga teacher. I have lived such a roller coaster of a life. A sprinkle of just about everything from, beautiful, really hard, sometimes scary, and things most should never need to go through. I strive to take what was put in front of me and learn what not to do and what to use as a lesson to make the world a better place for others that come after me. I live my life with love as the foundation to everything I do. I give love without any expectation and hope that it helps fill what is missing in others. I love to scuba dive, love learning how to navigate emotions and how it applies to yoga philosophy and I love spending time with family and friends.  Key Takeaways: 1. Healing is a choice - and a courageous one. Mallory reflects on how she could have gone a very different direction given what she experienced growing up, and credits her commitment to healing with shaping the person, parent, and teacher she is today. 2. Breaking generational cycles is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. Mallory shares how intentionally parenting differently - giving her kids a voice, space to be heard, and freedom to express big emotions - is something she considers her greatest success. 3. You are not responsible for the pain that other people project on you. One of the most powerful yogic principles Mallory has been applying in her own life: recognizing misperception, and understanding that when someone hurts you, it is often about what they are carrying, not about you. 4. Showing up for others starts with knowing what it felt like not to be shown up for. Mallory's motivation to always be in someone's corner comes directly from her own experience of feeling unsupported and turning pain into empathy. 5. Teaching kids about cyberbullying and compassion early can change everything. Mallory uses a simple, powerful teaching tool in her classroom: if you would not say it to someone's face on the playground, do not type it. She has witnessed this teaching lead to real change. 6. Finding your meditative state can look different for everyone. For Mallory, it is underwater: diving in the rain off the coast of Cozumel, watching rain hit the ocean surface from below, and being completely still. 7. Your core self may still be in discovery, and that is okay. When asked who she is at her core, Mallory's answer is honest: a loving, caring person who leads with love and compassion, and continuing to become more fully herself. If you or someone you know is having a difficult time, free support is available: Call or text 988 to reach the Idaho Crisis and Suicide Hotline. Support is available 24/7, and you can also use their 988 Lifeline Chat for online support. Chapters: 00:00 — Cold Open: Animals, Dogs & Setting the Scene 00:31 — Welcome & Introducing Mallory Wirz 01:55 — How Steph and Mallory Met: The Women's Healing Retreat 04:45 — What Drew Mallory to the Retreat and What She Found There 07:10 — Mirrors of Each Other: Shared Trauma and Shared Healing 09:35 — Why Mallory Joined Yoga Teacher Training 13:30 — Girls on the Mat: Yoga, Young Girls, and Purpose 17:00 — Breaking Chains: Raising Kids Differently 21:00 — Mallory's Daughter Stands Up to Bullying 24:00 — Shared Bullying Stories from Childhood 28:00 — Adult Bullies and the Unhealed Wounds Behind Them 30:10 — The Healing Journey Is Not Like It Looks on TV 33:00 — Yoga Philosophy: Misperception and Shifting the Narrative 38:30 — How Mallory Handles Bullying as a Teacher 43:00 — Cyberbullying Lessons in the Classroom 47:00 — Youth Mental Health and Rising Suicide Rates in the Treasure Valley 54:00 — What Shaped the Person Mallory Is Today 58:00 — Showing Up for Others Because No One Showed Up for You 01:02:00 — Backpacks, New Shoes & Breaking the Cycle of Shame 01:06:00 — How Mallory Became a Computer Teacher 01:09:00 — Scuba Diving, Cozumel, and Finding Peace Underwater 01:19:00 — The Final Question: Who Are You at Your Core? 01:23:00 — Closing, Future Plans & Signing Off

Stop Living on Auto-Pilot | The Essence of You Podcast

What if the behaviors holding you back aren't flaws to fix, but patterns to understand? In this episode of The Essence of You Podcast, host Steph Lokelani sits down with Karolee Lovan, behavior life coach and behavioral interventionist, and founder of Social Graces. Karolee brings a rare blend of behavioral psychology, real-world intervention experience, and deeply personal transformation to a conversation that will make you rethink everything you thought you knew about habits, change, and who you are at your core. Karolee shares her winding path from working with special education students to stepping into the classroom, walking away from a broken system, navigating the corporate world, and ultimately relaunching Social Graces with a crystal-clear mission: help people stop running on autopilot and start living from the driver's seat. About Karolee Lovan:  Most professional coaching focuses on surface-level symptoms: "Work harder," "Wake up earlier," "Stay disciplined." But if you are running on outdated patterns, you are simply accelerating in the wrong direction. Karolee Lovan works at the intersection of behavioral psychology and practical coaching. She doesn't lecture; she listens until her clients truly hear themselves. The Problem: The Invisible Loop Throughout her career, Karolee spent years watching individuals work incredibly hard without moving forward. It wasn't a lack of motivation, a talent deficit, or a lack of discipline. They were simply stuck inside behavioral loops they had never been taught to see—running on default settings that had quietly stopped serving their current goals. The Approach: The Pivot Point Method As a Behavior Life Coach with a specialized background in intervention, Karolee moves past the traditional "noise" of self-help to focus entirely on the mechanics of human behavior. Using her proprietary Pivot Point Method, she helps clients move through the why and then into the how of sustainable change: * Locate the Pivot Point: Pinpointing the exact moment a behavioral loop triggers, exposing the hidden patterns causing plateaus. * Execute the Interruption: Applying targeted interventions at that exact pivot point to break the exhausting cycle of working hard just to stay in place. * Sustain the Shift: Grounding new behaviors in daily workflow using behavioral science, ensuring the new path becomes the permanent default. The Result: Movement with Clarity Karolee’s work isn't about adding more to a client's plate or demanding exhausting amounts of willpower. It is about removing the friction of the patterns that no longer serve who they are becoming. She doesn't offer generic advice; she offers a mirror and a toolkit. "I don't lecture. I listen until you hear yourself." 🎁 Mention that you heard Karolee on The Essence of You and receive 50% off her services at Social Graces — offer valid ONLY through June 2026. Visit: https://socialgracesbc.com/ [https://socialgracesbc.com/] Whether you're stuck in an old thought loop, struggling to change a habit, or simply trying to show up better for the people you love, this episode is for you. Key Takeaways: - Behavior is not good or bad - it's an action. We assign meaning to our behaviors based on upbringing, culture, and experience. Recognizing this frees you to rewrite the story. - Coming off autopilot is the first step. If you don't examine what you're doing day in and day out, you'll stay stuck in patterns that no longer serve you. - Start smaller than you think. Real, lasting change happens through micro-steps. Karolee's example: don't join a gym yet, just put your workout shoes by the door. - Gratitude can rewire your brain. After two years of deep inner work, Karolee discovered that daily gratitude practice was her personal "linchpin" - the behavior that unlocked everything else. - Coaching vs. therapy: know the difference. A coach is an accountability partner focused on moving forward. A therapist helps heal the past. Both have a place and Karolee knows exactly where her scope begins and ends. Chapters: 00:00 - Cold Open: McLovin Ice Breaker 00:38 - Introducing Karolee Lovan 01:53 - What Drew Karolee to Behavior Work 03:22 - From Paraprofessional to Special Ed Teacher 04:07 - Why She Left the Classroom 05:00 - Behavior Kept Calling Her Back 05:58 - Launching Social Graces the First Time 06:57 - Defining Behavior: What It Actually Is 07:57 - Coming Off Autopilot 09:41 - Balancing Behavioral Expertise at Home 11:14  -Being Your Own Client 12:06  -Two Years of Deep Inner Work 13:03  -Gratitude as the Linchpin 14:13 - Rewiring Through Small Wins 15:56 - What Is Social Graces? 18:42 - Six Weeks, One Behavior 19:39 - What Clients Most Want to Change 21:32 - Comfortable Being Uncomfortable 22:09 - Coach vs. Therapist: The Key Difference 24:04 - How Launching Changed Karolee's Life 25:02 - Corporate Communication Breakdowns 26:45 - What's in It for Me? The Simon Sinek Thread 28:13  -When People Check Out (The HP Example) 29:08 - Steph's Scarcity Mindset — Live Unpack 31:25 - The "Unpacking" Framework 33:00 - The GPS Analogy: Rerouting to Your Destination 35:47 - Building the Action Plan with Your Client 37:05 - The Workout Shoes Method 39:05 - Identity Shapes Behavior 40:29 - The Fire Extinguisher Story 42:03 - Special Offer for Essence of You Listeners 43:18 - Passion, Royalty & the Color Purple 45:46 - What Would Your Brother Say? 47:42 - Analyzing Poetry at 11 PM 50:10 - Behaviors Are Neither Good Nor Bad 52:43 - The Experience That Shaped Her Most 54:30 - Marriage as a Practice 57:10 - Where Personal Story Meets Purpose 59:57 - Getting Volunteered Into Corporate 01:01:38 - Gratitude for the Ugly Chapters 01:03:38 - Essence of You — What Does It Mean? 01:05:23 - Why Steph Started the Podcast 01:07:57 - How Many True Friends Do You Have? 01:09:47 - Final Question: Who Are You at Your Core? 01:10:56 -Closing, Discount Reminder & Farewell