The Happiness Standard

Episode 17: Why Validation Feels So Addictive

25 min · 9 de jun de 2026
Portada del episodio Episode 17: Why Validation Feels So Addictive

Descripción

What if the confidence you rely on isn't actually yours? In Episode 17 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the hidden psychology behind validation, self-worth, confidence, and social approval. Discover why external validation feels so rewarding, how it can quietly shape your happiness, and the surprising path to building confidence from within. References: Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. Psychological Review, 108(3), 593–623. Izuma, K., Saito, D. N., & Sadato, N. (2008). Processing of social and monetary rewards in the human striatum. Neuron, 58(2), 284–294. Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.

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20 episodios

Portada del episodio Episode 18: The Confidence Catch

Episode 18: The Confidence Catch

You've been told confidence comes first. What if that's wrong? In Episode 18 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the psychology of confidence, self-efficacy, avoidance, and why the feeling you're waiting for actually comes after you begin. Discover the confidence catch—and why it could be the reason you feel stuck. Episodes Mentioned: Episode 11 - Congratulations! You Failed: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2iLl7CCtTI1x51LPkhLduC?si=kBefNzMjTXydR09znXwtEw Episode 10 - You’re Measuring Wrong: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3YtpeCAX9IIX9cbj8nLf3o?si=jEzevaaCRNS56QgMMs2A6A Episode 7 - My Birthday! https://open.spotify.com/episode/1eGi5VFROlucsDcA1NjJPr?si=SLAgy5jzSfeaYWgysrMfEQ References Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191 Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W. H. Freeman. Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: An inhibitory learning approach. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 58, 10–23. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006 Masten, A. S. (2001). Ordinary magic: Resilience processes in development. American Psychologist, 56(3), 227–238. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.227 Mowrer, O. H. (1947). On the dual nature of learning: A reinterpretation of “conditioning” and “problem-solving.” Harvard Educational Review, 17, 102–148. Southwick, S. M., Bonanno, G. A., Masten, A. S., Panter-Brick, C., & Yehuda, R. (2014). Resilience definitions, theory, and challenges: Interdisciplinary perspectives. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 5(1), Article 25338. https://doi.org/10.3402/ejpt.v5.25338

16 de jun de 202636 min
Portada del episodio Episode 17: Why Validation Feels So Addictive

Episode 17: Why Validation Feels So Addictive

What if the confidence you rely on isn't actually yours? In Episode 17 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the hidden psychology behind validation, self-worth, confidence, and social approval. Discover why external validation feels so rewarding, how it can quietly shape your happiness, and the surprising path to building confidence from within. References: Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. Psychological Review, 108(3), 593–623. Izuma, K., Saito, D. N., & Sadato, N. (2008). Processing of social and monetary rewards in the human striatum. Neuron, 58(2), 284–294. Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.

9 de jun de 202625 min
Portada del episodio Episode 16: The Expectation Effect

Episode 16: The Expectation Effect

Are your expectations communicated or assumed? In EP 16 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores how expectations shape our relationships, self-worth, and emotional wellbeing. Learn how unmet expectations can lead to disappointment, why boundaries are essential for healthy communication, and how self-integrity helps build trust with yourself. Through communication theory, practical strategies, and real-life examples, this episode offers tools for navigating relationships, setting boundaries, and managing expectations in a healthier way. Episodes Mentioned: Are You Giving Grace or Making Excuses? : https://open.spotify.com/episode/7LV5dyquSt77IFZi4lZZ2B?si=MV_DjfjCQ5-XSPab5tpDVg Embracing Change: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Rb0qH75B6lcyufxIgssu1?si=0CLHhk6oQrKoACrKkfHiOg References: Burgoon, J. K. (1993). Interpersonal expectations, expectancy violations, and emotional communication. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 12(1–2), 30–48. https://doi.org/10.1177/0261927x93121003 Burgoon, J. K., & Jones, S. B. (1976). TOWARD a THEORY OF PERSONAL SPACE EXPECTATIONS AND THEIR VIOLATIONS. Human Communication Research, 2(2), 131–146.

2 de jun de 202639 min
Portada del episodio Episode 15: Did COVID Make You Lonely

Episode 15: Did COVID Make You Lonely

Did COVID change the way you connect with people? In EP 15 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the rise of loneliness after the pandemic and why feeling disconnected impacts more than just our emotions. Using research from Hawkley and Cacioppo (2010), this episode breaks down the psychological, relational, & physical effects of loneliness — and how we begin reconnecting again! Podcasts Episodes Mentioned:  Embracing Change: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Rb0qH75B6lcyufxIgssu1?si=nG8FT8_DS62ukWeEOFIvDg Anger Is Your Friend: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FJJtqnCRTkHSM9wRYMh3b?si=kQUV-UaoSNyVTK1b05lTrw References:  Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: a theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of behavioral medicine : a publication of the Society of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-8

26 de may de 202635 min