Episode 63: The Loneliness Nobody Talks About

Episode 63: The Loneliness Nobody Talks About

Loneliness is one of the deepest secondary losses of grief—but it's often misunderstood. When most people hear the word loneliness, they think the answer is more people, more activity, or simply staying busy. But what if that's not the loneliness you're experiencing? In this episode, Jay shares the kind of loneliness that comes after losing a spouse—the loneliness of losing the person who knew your story, finished your sentences, remembered your history, and witnessed your life. Drawing from his own journey six and a half years after Christine's passing, Jay explores how loneliness isn't a lack of faith, why God never shames us for feeling lonely, and how His presence becomes our greatest comfort in places where no one else can follow. If you've ever felt lonely in the middle of a crowd, this conversation is for you. In this episode: • Why loneliness is different from simply being alone • The hidden loneliness of losing your "primary witness" • Why busyness isn't a cure for grief • How isolation quietly shapes our identity • Learning to surrender loneliness instead of fighting it • Finding God's presence in the places that hurt most "God is not afraid of our lonely places. He meets us there… reminding us that we are still known, still loved, and never forgotten." Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you! Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t Music by Paul Grimsland

Episode 62: Unplanned Pages

Six years ago, when Christine passed away, I never imagined I would write a grief devotional. I wasn't looking to become a grief coach, start a grief podcast, or build a ministry around loss. I was simply trying to survive. In this episode, I share the unexpected story behind NEXT: Lamentations and Devotions and why it exists. What began as private journal entries, prayers, questions, and laments slowly became something much bigger than I ever intended. Along the way, I discovered that grief isn't a problem to solve—it's a relationship to learn. A relationship with loss, memory, change, and ultimately, with God Himself. I'll also share my original song, My Grief Song, and talk about why permission—not perfection—has become one of the most important themes of my grief journey. If you've ever wondered whether you're grieving "the right way," this episode is for you. In this episode: • Why I never intended to write a grief devotional • How journaling became a lifeline after loss • The importance of lament and honest conversations with God • Why grieving people need permission more than answers • The meaning behind the Selah and Grief Examen sections of the devotional • How God's goodness remains present in the middle of sorrow "I didn't write this because I had figured grief out. I wrote it because I was grieving." Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you! Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t Podcast Music by Paul Grimsland Grief Song written by Jay Cookingham used with (mine) his permission. Buy NEXT: Lamentations and Devotions her: https://a.co/d/0g8K8kVT

Episode 61: Walking Through Grief with Adult Children

One of the quieter challenges of grief is learning how to walk through it as a family — especially when everyone is grieving the same loss differently. In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham shares honestly about helping his seven adult children grieve the loss of their mother while continuing to navigate his own grief as a widower. How do you support your children without pushing them? How do you make room for different grief styles, timelines, and emotions? And what does it look like to stay present for one another when no one really knows what to say? Jay reflects on: • Why “gentle modeling” often helps more than advice • The sacred value of stories, memories, and family history • Learning to listen without trying to fix grief • Giving both yourself and your children grace Through Scripture, personal reflection, and practical wisdom, this episode reminds us that grief is not something families “solve” together — it’s something we learn to carry together with compassion, patience, and God’s help. “Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop trying to hurry each other through grief and simply stay present with one another inside it.” If you are grieving alongside your children — whether they are young or grown — this conversation will encourage you to lead with presence instead of pressure. Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you! Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t Music by Paul Grimsland

Episode 60: Facing the Future

What does it look like to face the future after loss—especially when that future feels smaller, uncertain, or even lonely? In this episode, Jay shares honestly from his own journey as a widower, reflecting on the unique challenges of moving forward without the one you shared life with. From the quiet weight of loneliness to the loss of identity and daily rhythms, this conversation names the reality many feel but struggle to express. But this episode isn’t just about what’s hard, it’s about what’s still possible. Jay explores what it means to take small, faithful steps forward… to care for what’s been entrusted to you… and to give yourself permission to dream again. He shares how choosing to live again isn’t a betrayal of love, but an act of trust in God’s ongoing goodness. You’ll also hear practical and heartfelt thoughts on preparing your loved ones for the future with wisdom, gentleness, and love—without fear or heaviness. If you’ve ever wondered: • Can I trust God with what’s left of my life? • Is it okay to hope, laugh, or dream again? • How do I move forward without feeling like I’m leaving them behind? This episode will meet you there. Find out more about Jay here: https://jaycookingham.com I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you! Podcast music by Paul Grimsland

Episode 59: The Changing Family Dance

Grief doesn’t just change your life—it reshapes your family. In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham reflects on how loss impacts the rhythms, roles, and relationships within a family, especially as a widower with adult children. After losing his wife, Jay found that grief didn’t just take away his partner… it disrupted the shared timeline of raising a family together. What once felt steady now feels, at times, uncertain, fuzzy, and emotionally complex. From co-parenting to navigating life as the only remaining parent, this episode explores: • The emotional weight of parenting adult children through grief • The “relational confusion” that follows loss • Letting go of control while staying connected • Learning new ways to love without overstepping • Trusting God with your children’s journey—and your own If you’ve ever felt the tension of wanting to help but not knowing how… or the ache of missing the way your family used to be… You’re not alone. Grief changes the dance. But with God, you can learn new steps. Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you! Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t The NEXT Podcast music "Song for Christine" is by Paul Grimsland.