They Wrote a 50-Page Autopsy and Still Missed the Whole Point

Spectrum Outage 2026: Running a Business on a Calculator

You know what nobody tells you about losing the internet for an entire day? You suddenly find out how much of your life is held together by a Wi-Fi signal and pure hope. 🤦‍♂️ Spectrum Gate 2026 took out everything from town to the island, and Keith and Clay are still processing the chaos: phones dead, hotspots crawling, and 25 backed-up Slack messages firing off at 4:01pm to a very confused team. Meanwhile, Clay's running sales tax on a calculator and shredding handwritten credit card numbers like it's 1987. Honestly? He says the quiet was kind of nice. 😂 Then there's the AT&T saga, which is less a phone-company complaint and more a hostage situation. 🔥 Three hours on hold to pay a three-dollar charge. A six-digit code that never works. An account so buried that even AT&T can't find it. Clay finally taps out and crawls back to Verizon, and Keith; grandfathered into a 2001 plan he refuses to touch, just nods along like a man who's never known this kind of pain. The two of them don't agree on much here, which is exactly what makes it good. The pettiness peaks with the great "Notify Anyway" feud. Clay forced a text through Keith's Do Not Disturb, so Keith quietly stripped his override powers and put him in the penalty box. 😂 From there it spirals, Uncle Clay flatly refusing to care about the World Cup OR his own niece's soccer games, the Caitlin Clark trade rumors, a drone somehow lodged inside a helicopter, and Keith's deep, unshakable loyalty to a half-empty movie theater 50 minutes away. Here's what we talked about in this episode… * Spectrum Gate 2026 took down the whole region * AT&T turned a $3 charge into a 3-hour nightmare * Everyone uses the same towers, but coverage still isn't equal * Keith revoked Clay's "Notify Anyway" privileges * Uncle Clay refuses to care about the World Cup or his niece's games * They'd trade the coach before they'd ever trade Caitlin Clark * A drone somehow got lodged inside a helicopter * Keith will drive 50 minutes for a half-empty movie theater It's two guys, one buzzing cell phone they can't figure out how to silence, and a conversation that wanders exactly where it wants to. The outage is just an excuse, the hang is the whole point. 🔥

Ghosted at Work, Gouged at FIFA, and Confused by City Hall

Some employees give two weeks' notice. Others go to lunch on day two and vanish forever. 😂 Keith and Clay trade workplace ghosting stories, argue over whether employment is really just a transaction, and establish one very reasonable rule: quit whenever you want, just let somebody know you're still alive. From there, the conversation spirals exactly where it should: Clay sells every mower he has after the rain finally shows up, Keith becomes a self-appointed South Texas water expert, and Corpus Christi's desalination debate turns into a full city-council therapy session. Add a $110 Messi shirt, a UFC stage bigger than the White House, Tennessee softball heartbreak, and an AI-generated goatee nobody asked for. 🤦‍♂️🔥 Here's what we talked about in this episode… * New hires who ghost the job * When work becomes transactional * Selling out of mowers after the rain * Lake Mathis finally starts rising * Corpus Christi's desalination debate * Nate Bargatze's clean comedy push * Tennessee softball gets eliminated twice * FIFA jerseys and family sticker shock * A UFC fight at the White House * Clay vs. technology and the AI goatee The conversation starts with a bad shirt and somehow ends with America reminding England who won 250 years ago. Somewhere in between, everything goes off the rails in the most TexTenn way possible and you'll want to hear how they got there.

The Savannah Bananas Sent My Buddy Into Therapy

Ever left your truck running in a parking lot just because you didn't feel like dealing with it again? Keith and Clay get it. This week on the TexTenn Podcast the guys swing from a Little League team that went from losing 16-1 to run-ruling everybody 22-4 (sorry to the catcher who was basically in tears 😅) to the great American scam of paying extra to unlock heated seats that are already in your car. 🤦‍♂️ Then it gets real. There's a vegan running for Senate in Texas who's on camera insisting there are six genders, and Clay simply cannot let it go. 🔥 There's the buddy named Jeff who hated the Savannah Bananas so much he had to sit alone in the RV for fifteen minutes to recover. There's the poll worker who tried to confiscate Keith's phone, and Keith; proud contrarian, business owner, definitely-not-a-Democrat-no-matter-what-Neal-says, just slid it back in his pocket. Pterodactyl-sized mosquitoes attack a baseball game. The lake's at 18%, so go nuts and leave the faucet on while you brush. Somebody's hiding wasted water behind a dam. It's a lot. 😂 This is two guys who actually know each other shooting the breeze about kids, dogs, trucks, Texas politics, and why nobody listens to the radio anymore. No script, no agenda, just the kind of conversation you wish you were sitting in on. Here's what we talked about in this episode… * From 16-1 losers to run-rule royalty 🥎 * The catcher who almost cried (and the hug that saved baseball) * Savannah Bananas: Jeff's 15-minute RV breakdown 😂 * Heated seats behind a paywall and other modern crimes 🤦‍♂️ * Six genders, zero beef: The Texas senate circus 🔥 * No phones at the polls (Keith said "no thanks") * 18% and rising: The lake, the dam, and the mystery pipe 💧 * Dogs, heartbreak, and the pup who only shows up for bacon 🐶 This is the conversation your group chat is going to be quoting all week; the dam pipe, the six genders, the RV meltdown. Miss it and you're the one asking "wait, what?" while everybody else is already laughing. 🔥

They Wrote a 50-Page Autopsy and Still Missed the Whole Point

The Democrat Party released its official post-election autopsy, blamed one transgender-focused campaign ad, and somehow didn't mention that they swapped candidates at the last second and expected nobody to notice. Meanwhile, Spencer Pratt; yes, that Spencer Pratt...just walked into the LA mayoral race with a homeless policy plan that's more thought-out than what the city has been doing for decades. The bar is on the floor and a reality TV villain just cleared it. 🔥 Keith and Clay break it all down, including why NGOs are getting paid to keep homeless people homeless, what a 30-day overdose-blocking drug could actually do that apartments never will, and why the whole system seems designed to treat the symptom and protect the paycheck. Also somehow in the mix: Clay got the wrong enchiladas, an empty tea glass for 20 minutes, and is still defending the restaurant 😂. Keith's convinced it's a him problem. Clay is not. Oh, and the youth baseball team won their first game ever against the number one seed, with seven players, a borrowed kid, and one kid sitting at home with a broken arm who didn't even believe it happened. 🤦‍♂️ There's also a story Clay got in trouble for that he refuses to tell on air. He brought it up anyway. Classic Clay. Here's what we talked about in this episode… * Lake Corpus Christi drought update & recent rainfall recovery * Youth baseball: Winning their first game shorthanded with a borrowed player * Graham's broken arm recovery (and the catch that almost made it worse) * Spencer Pratt's LA mayoral run and his surprisingly detailed homeless policy plan * NGOs profiting off homelessness instead of solving it * The Democrat post-election autopsy report and what it conveniently left out * Clay's latest bad service experience at AJ's: Wrong plate, empty tea glass, zero apologies The guys didn't wait for you to start. That's kind of their thing.

Spencer Pratt for LA Mayor? His AI Ads Are Destroying Karen Bass

Coaching 12-year-olds who slam $400 bats after a strikeout is a special kind of character development.Coaching 12-year-olds who slam $400 bats after a strikeout is a special kind of character development. Keith just lost 16-1 in three innings with eight errors, and his big coaching breakthrough is that nobody cried this week. Progress is progress. 🤦‍♂️ Then things get political but make it chaotic. Spencer Pratt is somehow running for LA mayor and dropping AI ads where he's Batman fighting Karen Bass as the Joker, and honestly? The guys are kind of into it. There's a whole detour into John Cornyn's Dollar General cowboy hat commercial, the great Cornyn vs. Paxton dilemma, and a deeply held belief that Mexican restaurants make the best pancakes in South Texas (this is non-negotiable). 🔥 Clay also reveals he's been banned from the new Devil Wears Prada because Meryl Streep makes him want to yell at the screen. Fair. The real chaos: Clay hates palm trees. Not all palm trees — specifically Texas palm trees. He cannot explain why. He just knows. There's also a tornado nobody noticed, a high school helmet-glue prank that earned an entire practice of running, and Justin getting called up to Double-A in Northwest Arkansas. 😂 Here's what we talked about in this episode… * The 16-1 Coaching Disaster * Clay's Inexplicable Hatred of Palm Trees * The Storm Nobody Felt * Cornyn vs. Paxton and the Dollar General Cowboy Hat * Spencer Pratt for Mayor of LA * Banned From the Movie Theater * The Great South Texas Pancake Take Two guys, no agenda, full tangents. Press play and stop pretending you're doing something more important.