Why Winning Feels Empty

Why Winning Feels Empty

In this one I'm naming something almost every high achiever feels and nobody says out loud. You hit the number, maybe the biggest of your career, and instead of elation you feel a whole lot of nothing. The win washes right over you and you're already onto what's next. I walk you through why that empty feeling isn't a flaw, it's a thinking trap, what the research on the gap and the gain and the arrival fallacy actually says about it, and the one simple practice I give my CEO and founder clients to start feeling their wins again. Key Takeaways: - Measuring progress backward against your starting point provides true perspective. - Celebrating small wins weekly can boost fulfillment and energy. - The brain is wired for dopamine hits during pursuit, not achievement. - Hitting a goal provides a fleeting high, not lasting happiness. - Reflecting on your journey helps reduce burnout and gap thinking. - Self-worth is rooted in contribution, not just numbers. Episode Chapters: 00:00 The emptiness after big wins 00:30 Understanding the anticlimactic feeling 01:01 Amy's background and purpose 01:30 Why winning can feel empty 02:12 Measuring your life in progress 02:39 A practice to fill your energy bucket 03:08 Reducing burnout and emptiness 03:35 The concept of you win but don't feel it 04:06 The chase and dopamine peaks 04:30 The brain's wiring for pursuit 05:00 Measuring backward for perspective 05:29 The journey versus the goal 06:26 The trap of gap thinking 07:22 Progress as a core human need 08:22 Measuring backward against your start 09:19 The arrival fallacy and fleeting happiness 10:16 The physiological response to achievement 11:42 The cost of constant striving 12:24 Self-worth and productivity 13:50 Reflecting on your journey 14:20 Celebrating your progress over time 16:17 Practicing weekly wins 17:14 Fulfillment in the journey 17:44 Sharing this message with others 18:00 Final encouragement to lead with strength Work with Amy: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Book your complimentary career planning call: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Follow the show: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW [https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW]

Missed Your Number? Own It, Then Do This

We're halfway through the year, and if you missed your number in the first half, this one's for you. I'm not going to make you feel good about it, but I am going to give you the exact game plan I use, and the one I give my CEOs and sales leaders, to regroup, get your team's head back in the game, and actually close the gap in the back half. I walk you through owning it without excuses, building a bottoms-up gap plan down to the deal, and the belief it takes to come from behind. Then I share a turnaround I've never fully told before, including the one comp move that changed everything. Key Takeaways: - Own the results without excuses and accept reality. - Create a detailed, actionable gap plan involving the entire team. - Use incentives and team bonuses to motivate and align efforts. - Reforecast and adjust expectations transparently with leadership. - Build belief and confidence through visualization and integrity. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: Mid-Year Reflection and Opportunity 00:29 The Reality of Missed Targets and Moving Forward 00:59 The Power of Owning Your Results 01:28 How to Regroup and Replan After a Setback 02:28 The Importance of Honesty and Self-Compassion 04:26 Building a Detailed Gap Plan 05:53 The Role of Visualization and Belief 07:23 Stretch Goals and Overperformance 08:47 Getting Buy-In and Team Alignment 12:04 Reforecasting and Adjusting Expectations 13:00 Turning Challenges into Opportunities with Incentives 18:21 Creating a Team Bonus Structure 20:06 Achieving and Surpassing Goals 21:12 Closing Remarks and Next Steps Work with Amy: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Book your complimentary career planning call: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Follow the show: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW [https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW]

What Leaders Regret Most, Backed by Research

This one's personal. I'm in the middle of a pivot myself, shifting my business to focus on coaching founders and CEOs while still championing the sales leaders I love. In this quick solo I talk about the fear that shows up every time you bet on yourself, why it never fully goes away, and why that's good news. I share the CEO turnaround that changed how I see this work, the Brene Brown line I come back to, and the Cornell research on what we regret most. Key Topics: - The persistent role of fear in making change - Recognizing and accepting fear as part of growth - The importance of action in overcoming uncertainty - Amy's personal journey of pivoting in her career - Strategies for renegotiating deals and expanding business - The significance of self-trust and listening to your heart - Research on regret and the cost of inaction - The role of courage versus comfort in decision-making - Practical steps for leaders to embrace change - The impact of coaching and self-coaching in leadership Episode Chapters: 00:00 The Courage to Change 02:56 Facing Fear in Leadership 06:01 The Power of Action 08:53 Navigating Opportunities 11:58 The Impact of Consulting 15:01 Embracing Change and Growth 17:48 Overcoming Perfectionism 20:47 Taking Action Towards Your Goals Work with Amy: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Book your complimentary career planning call: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Follow the show: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW [https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW]

Why Change Feels So Scary

In this one I'm doing something I've never done on the show. I'm walking you through a pivot I'm in the middle of right now, live, before it's tied up in a perfect bow. We get into why change is so terrifying even when you know it's time, why limbo is the most expensive place you can stand, and how perfectionism keeps you curled up in a ball instead of in action. I share the career mistakes I used to be ashamed of, the CEO who chased me for a year, and the 20% revenue win that came from getting past my own fear. Key Takeaways: - Fear of change is universal, but it doesn't have to stop you. - Running small experiments can lead to big insights and wins. - Mistakes are part of growth; they don't define your worth. - Trust your standards and values to guide tough decisions. - Support and feedback are crucial for successful pivots. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Embracing Change: The Fear of Pivots 02:48 The Challenge of Making Change 06:09 Navigating Fear and Certainty 09:06 The Journey of Self-Discovery 12:02 Learning from Mistakes 14:54 The Power of Experimentation 18:03 Finding Support in Leadership 21:05 The Importance of Taking Action 24:00 Celebrating Wins and Growth 26:59 The Commitment to Make a Difference Work with Amy: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Book your complimentary career planning call: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Follow the show: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW [https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW]

Part 2: When You Out-Earn Your Husband

In Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Alexandra Stockwell, we go where most women in sales leadership refuse to go on record. Forty five percent of women now out-earn their husbands, and almost half of those marriages end. In this episode I share something about my own marriage I have not talked about publicly before, Alexandra reframes what it actually means for a man to provide in a modern relationship, and I get coached, live on air, on what to say to my ex husband. If you are the higher earner in your relationship, or you have ever felt the quiet cost of being the strong one, this is the episode. Dr. Alexandra Stockwell is a physician who left clinical medicine to become one of the country's leading relationship and intimacy coaches for high functioning, career driven couples. She is the author of Uncompromising Intimacy and the host of The Intimate Marriage podcast, where she helps couples move beyond the toleration relationship most marriages settle into and build what she calls a Conscious Partnership: the kind of passionate, alive, communicative relationship that most couples do not realize is a learnable skill. Married for 29 years to her husband, whom she met during the first week of medical school, and a mother of four, Alexandra has been interviewed more than 400 times and has guided thousands of couples through the work of bringing their full selves into intimacy. Visit her website: https://alexandrastockwell.com [https://alexandrastockwell.com] Key Takeaways: - Growth and transformation look different for each partner and should be respected. - Income disparity can be a source of conflict but can be managed with understanding and communication. - Men's identity is often tied to being a provider, which requires alternative ways to find purpose and self-respect. - Women often carry emotional labor that is undervalued financially, impacting relationship dynamics. - Authentic vulnerability and honesty can strengthen relationships and facilitate healing. Episode Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the Conversation 01:27 Emotional Costs of Relationship Dynamics 09:54 Navigating Income Disparities in Relationships 11:20 The Impact of Financial Roles on Identity 21:24 Understanding and Valuing Contributions Beyond Income 27:23 Personal Growth and Healing in Relationships 32:38 Resources and Conclusion Work with Amy: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Book your complimentary career planning call: amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme [http://amyevanscoaching.com/workwithme] Follow the show: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/women-in-sales-leadership/id1765026855] Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW [https://open.spotify.com/show/0lnzIwlqDzxFTA4KllGfWW]