A Minx's Chronicle

#38 | Sticking to The Road

Welcome back, my apologies for the delayed uploads, I do my best to explain in the episode. In this edition of AMC, we speak about how to maintain changes, a highly recurring yet essential theme of the podcast. Enjoy. AMC Website [https://aminxschronicle.com/how-to-maintain-the-new-and-improved-you/] Oliver's Instagram  [https://www.instagram.com/olivermelbourne/?hl=en] Welcome back; this week is a continuation of the previous week’s entry; briefly, we touched on how and why to pay attention to the nudges of your subconscious. Please read the entry found here. We have all been there, we made a slew of changes to our lives, be it in the form of a rearranged living room or a rearranged mindset towards your interactions with yourself and others, but that niggling sensation at the back of your mind saying that you will not be able to stick to the changes you have made can become difficult to ignore. In this entry, you will learn three ways to ensure that the beneficial changes you make stick to your core and carry you forward into the future. Do Not Overburden Yourself This is difficult to gauge because how can one understand their limitations without testing the waters? The dangers of overburdening yourself are apparent and obvious; you run the risk of multiple negative possibilities, the most likely of which is failing to maintain the plethora of changes you have instituted; another possibility is negatively affecting your health and/or your relationships. The best way to ascertain whether or not you have overburdened yourself is to proceed and observe to see if the changes you made stick or not; if you find that maintaining the new habits is difficult, then consider reducing its difficulty/demand. Another way is to consult your parents, asking them to give you their opinion, they will be clear and straightforward (sometimes brutally so) and they will inform you that either the changes you wish to make will overburden you or that you can easily maintain them. It is important to consult those who are older than we are in matters such as these as they have most likely experienced the emotions you will feel on this journey. The best method is to keep it simple; the entries on this website mention this point numerous times; keep changes small and then incrementally build upon that; you will never run the risk of overburdening yourself if you stick to implementing incremental changes in your micro habits.

#37 | How to Fall in Love with Yourself

This week is about practising discomfort and how doing so will make you fall in love with who you are. Oliver's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/olivermelbourne/?hl=en] This week we delve into the strata of our minds; we will look at why we ignore specific thoughts and the beneficial reasons behind paying attention to particular nudges. What is the Subconscious Mind?  Firstly, we need to understand the role of the subconscious; it acts as a guide for our values and beliefs and often our actions. Assuming a birdseye view of the subconscious mind, we would be mistaken in thinking that the subconscious mind is our consciousness; on the contrary, the role of this component is significantly more potent than that. If we look at the subconscious mind from the side, we will see that it runs deep, and its tendrils present themselves in our actions and inactions.  Why do we Ignore the Subconscious Mind?  The best example to illustrate our proclivity to ignore the subconscious has been mentioned in AMC numerous times; cast your mind to this morning, or any morning for that matter, did you wake up on time? You did, ok, well did you get out of bed? No, you knew that you needed to get out of bed, but you chose not to. The fact that you know that you need to get out of bed is your subconscious mind attempting to exert its influence on the physical realm, but it slammed into your conscious mind and your desire, a deadly duo, your conscious mind overpowered your subconscious desire to get out of bed and you remained in your prone state.  So, why do we ignore the subconscious?  Because it is easy. Usually, the subconscious prods us towards actions associated with discomfort and the vast majority of the time, we suppress these prods and urges despite knowing that the end net result is beneficial. How to Listen to Your Subconscious You will quickly recognise your intense desire to distance yourself from discomfort; this is an issue because the subconscious leans us towards discomfort. Discomfort in this context refers to anything you do not want to do; imagine you have arrived home from a long day at work, knowing that you need to go to the gym, prepare dinner, and clean; it is too much. Instead, you would prefer to peel your clothes off, land on the couch, and order some food. To listen to the subconscious, you need to practice acclimatising yourself to discomfort as often as possible. For example, in the classic stair vs escalator scenario, take that escalator every opportunity you get, walk to the milk bar or drive? You use those feet, and you walk, few dishes in the sink, into the dishwasher or wash them then and there? See, you get the drift. The idea is simple; life presents us with a plethora of crossroads, the easy or the slightly inconvenient; you will find that your subconscious will gently prod you towards the discomfort, so lean into it.

#36 | Reminders on Preparedness & Mindset

This episode is more of a rant/discussion/musings. I speak about the importance of being prepared and what to do when you feel overwhelmed.  Oliver's Instagram  [https://www.instagram.com/olivermelbourne/?hl=en] AMC Website [https://abdulhaiaa.wixsite.com/website/post/prepare-yourself] My final semester begins next week, so I am not sure how to juggle AMC and the other responsibilities of my life. Still, I sit here thinking about a straightforward concept: preparation. How do I prepare myself for the final step of this particular journey? My extensive hospitality career has taught me many things; arguably, the most critical lesson is preparing yourself and the shop for service. We need to make sure that we have enough of everything so that we may serve the people who come to us, we need to ensure that machines are working so that we do not lose valuable revenue and customers; I can speak on this for hours, and the point is that if the shop and the staff are not prepared for every single shift, every single day, we will not survive. In life, possessing an inherent urge to be prepared is a crucial ingredient to success. The famous saying "failing to plan is planning to fail" comes to mind, and it is true from every angle. The problem is that when we sit to think about an upcoming milestone or project, we can not help but feel inadequate in our current state; this is to be expected and embraced, for we may never know what tomorrow holds or even if it will come at all. The trick to maintaining internal composure in the face of life's tumbles and turns is two-fold: the first is to remain prepared for any situation. In my example, I know that a full-time study load demands a significant commitment of time, and to prepare for this, I ensured that my work commitments do not interfere with my studies. Sometimes being prepared means making sacrifices, and I choose to sacrifice a little financial security because my studies are higher on my priorities. The second thing to keep in mind is your priorities. What do you value? What is important to you? Family, friends, your significant other? Understand that each choice you make will ripple through space and time and result in consequences that you may or may not have seen. As long as you remain true to your internal compass, life will continue to mould you into a more resilient person. The most important thing to remember is that you are human, and life is the most excellent teacher, so feeling overwhelmed is a natural response. As long as you keep on swimming, everything will more than fine.

#35 | How to Repair Damaged Bonds

A four-step framework on how to repair damaged relationships. Oliver's Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/olivermelbourne/?hl=en] AMC Website  [https://www.aminxschronicle.com/] Mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers and then there is you, the link between them all. How is that link? Are you happy with it? If yes, find another entry and read that because this one is for us, everyday folks. Familial ties and bonds need to be nurtured like any other relationship; AMC argues that familial bonds are the most beautiful of all relationships because we are powerless in choosing our family. Therefore this entry focuses on repairing damaged bonds between yourself and your family. STEP  1: FORGIVENESS Forgive yourself first, this means that you when you think about a particular scenario that hurt the relationship you might see yourself as the 'bad guy', or you might have done something that left a bad taste in your mouth, the first step is to forgive yourself, you are human, and we make mistakes. It is ok to feel like you screwed up, but you will not move forward in life if you never learn to forgive yourself. Now you need to forgive the second person; they do not need to know that you have forgiven them, because if you genuinely forgive someone, they can tell from your body language when you are around them. If you have trouble with this, it helps to think about the other person's positive qualities as it will soften your anger. STEP 2: GENTLE APPROACH Picture a timid kitten; you need to approach your family member with the same mentality. Take it easy, come with food, and be calm when you are in their presence. The kitten will run away if they are spooked. Your next chance might be in a few hours or a few days or even a few weeks. If you remain patient and steadfast with the pure intention of repairing this relationship, the other person will eventually reciprocate. STEP 3: AGAIN & AGAIN A familial bond is precious and must be cherished, so you must continue to reach out throughout your life, the right conditions for reconciliation could be around the corner, so think about the kitten, swallow your pride and restart your approach. This is family. STEP 4: JOY OR SADNESS Your persistent efforts will result in a climax of some kind, after six months of continuous effort on your part, you will know if this family member is worthy of your further attention. However,  as long as there is no detriment to your mental/emotional health, your duty to repair damaged bonds remains. You can not quit trying to repair the relationship if your only excuse is that they are too stubborn and hard-headed. You need to show them that the relationship you could have is stronger than the damaged one you hold, so keep going because a certain answer is there if and when you find it. Eventually, you can either weep tears of joy for your regained family or tears of sadness for losing a loved one.

#34 | How to Get Back on The Horse

This episode will provide you with three practical and straightforward tips that will ease your climb back to the top because discipline is exhausting.  AMC Website  [https://www.aminxschronicle.com/] Oliver's Instagram  [https://www.instagram.com/olivermelbourne/?hl=en] Discipline is Exhausting. Welcome back. I hope you have all been well. I have experienced a significant drop in discipline; for the first time in over 24 weeks, I have purposefully forgotten to write the Snip for last week. What does this mean? Have I lost my motivational edge? Is this the first red flag that will signal my return to being lazy and lackadaisical? I suppose only time will tell; I caught myself, though, now I need to make sure it does not happen again. There are other little things that I have not been doing that I was very diligent with; I need to climb back on the horse. Discipline is draining; you continually check yourself and ensure that your ingrained habits do not sneak up on you and overpower you because they will. As an example, I have been incredibly strict on myself for over ten months; I had believed I had vanquished the negative habits of my past, alas they have been lurking in the shadows, patiently waiting to strike the moment my guard slips. The good news is that I have been noticing that my laziness was rearing its ugly head in my rearview mirror, so the rest of the entry will show you what to do when bad habits show themselves in your life once more because they will. (Bad habits in this scenario refer to sleeping in, lousy eating, skipping exercise, skipping beneficial routines like skincare or mediation). TIMERS Timers will trick you into doing anything that you do not want to do. If you set a 3-minute timer to do as many dishes as you can, you will clean the entire kitchen. The trick is to select a simple goal and a low time, use common sense, do not give yourself an hour timer to clean the house if your laziness is powerful; start with the bathroom on a 6-minute timer, and take it easy do not overwhelm yourself. OTHERS Placing others' needs before your own is a beauty of life; it is also an intoxicating propellant to get out of bed in the morning. If you plan a coffee date at 8 AM on a Sunday at your local cafe with a close friend,  not only are you guaranteed a table, but you also have unclocked at least four more hours of the weekend. In that example, your desire to respect your friends time prevents you from snoozing; there are many more ways to leverage your willingness to help others against your hunger to lounge. Use your imagination. SWITCH-UPS One of my favourite tricks to jump back on the horse is switching things up. I ran every morning for five months straight; eventually, I became bored with running, and I would skip a day, then that day would turn into three. I knew that the habit was going to slip away, so I switched things up; I started to swim as often as I could, my zeal allowed me to swim daily for two weeks, my steam slowed down, and commitments resulted in me swimming three times a week at the minimum. So, when any positive habit becomes cumbersome, do something else that is equally positive; this will prevent boredom and stave off laziness.