Around the Kinky Kampfire Podcast

What If Sex Ed Taught Risk And Care | S5 EP131

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/fan_mail/new] Sex Ed failed a lot of us, not because we missed a diagram, but because we never got the tools to talk about consent, risk, and boundaries when things get real. I’m Julius Marquise, and I’m bringing the kink-informed “health class” I wish existed, the one that actually explains the words people use and the safety practices that protect everyone involved. If you’ve ever felt lost hearing terms like kink, fetish, BDSM, scene, dynamic, or aftercare, this is the roadmap. We start by defining core kink and BDSM vocabulary in clear, usable language, then move into the stuff that matters most when you’re negotiating with a partner: soft limits, hard limits, and what it means to be a play partner versus an intimate partner. We also talk roles like top, bottom, dominant, and submissive, with a reminder that these are actions and agreements, not automatic personality traits. You’ll walk away with language you can actually use in a conversation before clothes come off. From there, we get practical about kink safety and consent. I break down RACK (risk-aware consensual kink) and why “do whatever you want” is not a green flag, plus how safewords work in the stoplight system. We also cover nonverbal safewords, check-ins during a scene, and a point people still miss: consent is always revocable, even if you’re deep into it, and tops have consent and safewords too. Finally, we draw the line between consensual BDSM and intimate partner violence, then close with why aftercare is a real need, not a bonus. If you want better communication, safer kink exploration, and healthier sexual boundaries, listen through and take notes. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a better framework, and leave a rating or review so more people can find the sex education we all should have gotten. Source material - https://wellbeing.jhu.edu/blog/2026/04/29/6-things-your-sex-ed-class-left-out-on-kink-and-consent/?fbclid=IwdGRjcARzV9BjbGNrBHNXwmV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHp6ZF5MPbbQ6LjUT8yE3D4IRyqW9zzkjOCleWFsCfjvIM2ma02UROxlAg_Tx_aem_X_ceIxCKx9sW52cL4zDXcg [https://wellbeing.jhu.edu/blog/2026/04/29/6-things-your-sex-ed-class-left-out-on-kink-and-consent/?fbclid=IwdGRjcARzV9BjbGNrBHNXwmV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHp6ZF5MPbbQ6LjUT8yE3D4IRyqW9zzkjOCleWFsCfjvIM2ma02UROxlAg_Tx_aem_X_ceIxCKx9sW52cL4zDXcg] https://www.carneliancounselingportland.com/blog/1179566-consent-consent-consent [https://www.carneliancounselingportland.com/blog/1179566-consent-consent-consent] TEA & CONSENT - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ] 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/support] Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

The Four Types Of Singles | S5 EP130

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/fan_mail/new] Single can feel like one big label, but I don’t buy that. I’m Julius Marquise, and I’m pulling apart a question that hits your dating life harder than most people admit: what “type” of single are you, and how does that shape who you attract, who you frustrate, and who you actually build with? We start with four single archetypes from a research-inspired article: the Professional (ambitious, structured, achievement-focused), the Carefree (adventure-driven, laid-back, flexible), the Heartless (emotionally detached, no-strings energy), and the Loner (solitude-loving, slow to connect). I talk through the best traits and the potential downsides of each, plus the real-world compatibility landmines like scheduling vs spontaneity, commitment vs freedom, and connection vs distance. If you’re into alternative relationships, kink, or nontraditional dating, this kind of self-knowledge makes communication cleaner and consent clearer. Then I add six more “types of singles” from another self-report study: Happy-Go-Lucky, Where’s My Social Life, Quiet Sufferer, It’s Not Me It’s You, Maybe I’m The Problem, and Mixed Bag. I’m honest about the limitations of self-reporting, but I also show how these categories can help you spot patterns in self-esteem, stress, health, friendships, and family ties so you can date with more intention. Listen, share it with a friend who needs a reality check, and subscribe, rate, and review Around the Kinky Kampfire. Which type are you right now, and what would you want to change? Source material - https://www.yourtango.com/love/types-single-people-best-worst-traits [https://www.yourtango.com/love/types-single-people-best-worst-traits] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202405/how-the-6-types-of-single-people-differ-which-one-are-you [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202405/how-the-6-types-of-single-people-differ-which-one-are-you] 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/support] Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

What If The Safest Way Into BDSM Is Community First | S5 EP129

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/fan_mail/new] You do not need a secret password to find your people, you need a path. We start with the real beginner question: how do you get into a BDSM community without getting overwhelmed, pressured, or pulled into unsafe situations? I share my own origin story, from realizing “regular porn didn’t do it for me” to finding FetLife, discovering events, and finally walking into my first munch. Yes, there’s also a quick mid-day energy drink ASMR moment because that’s how we warm up around the campfire. We get practical about what actually works for newcomers: creating a FetLife profile, browsing the events tab in your city, and choosing public meetups like munches and sloshes as a safer first step. I explain the difference between a munch and a slosh, why public settings can help you feel safer, and how to show up with an open mind even if your social skills feel rusty. We also talk about the unspoken “probationary period” most kink communities have, where trust builds through consistency and good behavior over time. Then we zoom out to the bigger ecosystem: local dungeons, how to check venue rules (including sex positive policies and edge play limits), and why learning and consent stay at the center. I break down partner vetting, references, and red flags, plus the reality of roles and “side of the slash” friendships for tops, bottoms, and switches. We wrap with conferences, play parties, and my favorite introvert-friendly hack: volunteering, which gives you a purpose and makes connection easier. If you’re curious about BDSM education, kink safety, and finding a real kink community, hit play, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What part of joining a BDSM community feels most intimidating to you right now? Source material - https://www.hotoctopuss.com/blogs/couples-play-bdsm-bondage-bdsm-basics-for-couples-safe-sensual-and-satisfying-ways-to-connect/bdsm-community-how-to-get-involved?srsltid=AfmBOoohdwuli5cBlbTtrPPYRql8YQm9TFH8xehXeWyuVD3FHHq0cvtD [https://www.hotoctopuss.com/blogs/couples-play-bdsm-bondage-bdsm-basics-for-couples-safe-sensual-and-satisfying-ways-to-connect/bdsm-community-how-to-get-involved?srsltid=AfmBOoohdwuli5cBlbTtrPPYRql8YQm9TFH8xehXeWyuVD3FHHq0cvtD] https://obedienceapp.com/blog/entering-your-community-era [https://obedienceapp.com/blog/entering-your-community-era] 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/support] Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

A Clear Intro To Non-Monogamy Without The Myths | S5 EP128

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/fan_mail/new] Non-monogamy gets talked about like it is either a cheat code for relationships or a guaranteed disaster, and both takes miss the point. We sit down by the campfire and give a clear, no-fluff intro to consensual non-monogamy, including polyamory, open relationships, and the mindset shift that comes with admitting one person cannot meet every need for every season of your life. We also say the quiet part out loud: consent is not optional, and yes, you can still cheat in non-monogamy when you hide, lie, or break agreements. From there we dig into the emotional side that people rarely prepare for. We challenge the reflex to label every hard feeling as jealousy, and we talk about how unmet needs, insecurity, and bad partner behavior can masquerade as “jealousy problems.” We unpack why trying to control your partner backfires, what you can actually control, and why communication feels terrifying when the real fear is rejection. If boundaries have been hard for you, we connect that to identity, people pleasing, and the uncomfortable reality that you sometimes learn a boundary only after something hurts. We also clear up some common non-monogamy myths: compersion is not required, constant happiness is not the goal, and you do not owe anyone a performance of being “cool.” We talk metamours, privacy, and negotiating how much information you want to hear about other dates. Then we bring it down to earth with the logistics that shape every relationship: time, distance, money, mental energy, and the fact that love may feel infinite but your resources are not. If you are curious about ethical non-monogamy, this is a practical starting point for doing your own research and making choices that fit your real life. Subscribe for new episodes, share this with a friend who needs a more honest take on non-monogamy, and leave a review if the conversation helped. What part of non-monogamy do you want us to go deeper on next? Source material - https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/thirteen-things-i-wish-id-learned-before-choosing-non-monogamy/ [https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/thirteen-things-i-wish-id-learned-before-choosing-non-monogamy/] https://www.npr.org/2023/09/28/1196977813/what-to-know-if-youre-exploring-non-monogamy [https://www.npr.org/2023/09/28/1196977813/what-to-know-if-youre-exploring-non-monogamy] 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/support] Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety

Consensual Nonconsent Explained With Boundaries And Safewords | S5 EP127

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/fan_mail/new] CNC can look like chaos from the outside, but the real version runs on structure. I’m Julius Marques, and around the Kinky Kampfire I’m getting specific about consensual non-consent: what it is, what it is not, and why “we didn’t talk about it” is the fastest way to turn a fantasy into harm. We walk through the foundations of CNC kink and BDSM consent, including pre-negotiation, clear boundaries, and the reality that consent is ongoing and revocable. I also hit a myth head-on: yes, you can have safewords in CNC. Sometimes you keep your usual safeword, sometimes you negotiate a scene-specific word or a safe gesture, but you never remove the ability to stop. We also talk about blanket consent and why I’m cautious about agreements that are too broad to protect people day to day. From there we get practical: why CNC is riskier than typical play, how confusion and adrenaline can lead to mistakes, and why aftercare matters so much when the headspace ends and drop can kick in for tops and bottoms alike. I compare CNC vs free use, explain why these fantasies are common, and share example scenarios plus the real pros and cons, including intimacy, exploration, and the potential for emotional harm if mishandled. If you want kink education that’s direct, safety-forward, and honest, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs the clarity, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Source material -   https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/202502/rising-interest-in-consensual-non-consent https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/consensual-non-consent 1/6/26 1/6/26 Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/1909679/support] Come let us know what you think! -  IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/ Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com Come check out our merch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety