Beyond Divorce: Embracing Change

Surviving Separation: Self-Care During Divorce

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jinohn Marr, LMFT, discuss what self-care actually looks like during divorce—especially when you’re overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and just trying to make it through the day. They start with the physical foundations that are easy to neglect during stress: getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, eating consistently, moving your body through walks or exercise, and creating moments of quiet or alone time. While these needs may seem simple, Michael and Jinohn explain how quickly they can disappear when your mind is consumed with conflict, uncertainty, and survival mode. They also explore the emotional side of caring for yourself during separation. Journaling, grounding exercises, and having a safe adult to talk to—not your children—can help clear your mind and organize the emotions that often feel overwhelming. Michael and Jinohn discuss how to continue parenting even when emotionally exhausted, emphasizing the importance of maintaining routines for your children, avoiding negative talk about the other parent, and remembering that the goal is not to “be right,” but to “get it right.” They also encourage listeners to protect their mental health by setting boundaries around divorce-related communication, not feeling pressured to respond to every message immediately, and avoiding obsessive thinking about court outcomes. Most importantly, they remind listeners to give themselves grace. Healing and stability are often built through small, consistent routines that slowly help you move forward. If this episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who needs this reminder right now.

The Personal Journey of Divorce: What Keeps You Stuck

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Arrianna Cervantes, LPC-Associate, explore the deeply personal journey people go through in divorce—and why some feel stuck while others begin to move forward. Michael shares how, in his work, he often sees patterns in behavior that show up during this “storm,” and how identifying those patterns can reveal the root hurt keeping someone from healing. He breaks down three common dynamics that tend to hold people in place, starting with unresolved pain from the past. When someone is anchored to what was, they can struggle to see a path forward, often feeling unseen, invalidated, or stuck in a cycle of victimhood where everything feels like it’s happening to them. They also discuss how fear of the future can keep people frozen—replaying past experiences and projecting them forward, imagining worst-case scenarios that haven’t actually happened. Instead of responding to what is, people get caught in what could be, and their fear becomes the driver. The third dynamic is a lack of trust, especially in co-parenting relationships. The ability—or inability—to move forward often hinges on how much trust exists between parents, and when that trust is broken, it can impact every interaction. Michael and Arrianna bring it all back to one central truth: forward movement begins with you. When you take time to reflect on what is holding you back, you create the opportunity to move toward the future you actually want. If this episode gave you perspective or hope, please send it to someone who might need to hear it right now.

Talking to Kids About a New Relationship After Divorce

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, continue the conversation around introducing a new partner—this time focusing specifically on how to talk to your children about it. (Be sure to also check out their related episode, Episode 75, “What to Do When a New Partner Enters,” for more on navigating this transition.) Armando emphasizes that timing matters more than anything. Just because a new relationship brings comfort or excitement to you doesn’t mean your children are ready for it. He encourages parents to consider whether the relationship is truly stable and lasting, and where their children are emotionally in their own adjustment to the divorce. Michael and Armando also explore how to set clear expectations and roles for a new partner, and what it looks like to introduce them in a low-pressure, child-friendly way—like a casual outing to the park or grabbing ice cream together. They caution against recreating meaningful traditions that were once shared with the other parent, as this can be confusing or painful for children. Above all, they remind listeners to slow down and be intentional. Introducing someone into your child’s world is significant, and taking your time ensures that the relationship is truly worth bringing into your family system. If you found this episode helpful, please rate and review the podcast to help more families find this support.

Healing, Fairness, and ‘Moving On’: Divorce Myths Debunked

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Jennifer Nobles, LCSW-S, break down some of the most common myths people believe about divorce—and how these beliefs can quietly keep you stuck. They start with the idea that healing means you won’t be triggered anymore, explaining that even when you’ve done the work, certain moments, memories, or situations can still bring up old emotions. They also challenge the belief that “time heals all wounds,” emphasizing that while time can create distance, true healing requires intention, effort, and support. Michael and Jen also address the pressure people often feel to “move on” before they’re ready, and how that expectation can actually slow down the healing process. They go on to unpack other common misconceptions, like the belief that divorce decisions should always be “fair.” While fairness may feel important, especially when emotions are high, the reality is that divorce—particularly when children are involved—is guided more by what serves the child’s best interest than what feels equal. They also discuss the myth that you need to have everything figured out before leaving a relationship, reminding listeners that while preparation helps, clarity often comes through the process itself. Finally, they challenge the idea that a “good divorce” means staying friends, offering a more realistic and healthy perspective on what respectful, functional co-parenting can look like. If this episode helped shift your perspective, please rate and review the podcast to help more people find this support.

When Your Past Becomes Your Present: Are You Stuck in the Same Story?

In this episode, Michael Flores, LPC-S, and Armando Martinez, LPC, dive into a pattern many people don’t realize they’re repeating—how the same unresolved issues from your marriage can quietly show up in your divorce. Even though your relationship has changed, the dynamic often hasn’t. Instead of relating as co-parents, many people find themselves slipping back into the same arguments, reactions, and frustrations that didn’t work before. Michael and Armando challenge listeners to pause in those moments and ask one powerful question: “What is the story I’m telling myself right now?” That question creates space to separate what’s actually happening from the assumptions and emotions tied to the past. They explore how unresolved resentment, past hurt, and old patterns can keep you stuck in a reality that may no longer be true. When uncertainty or vulnerability shows up, it’s easy to default to what’s familiar—even if it’s not helpful. The truth is, cycles continue until something changes. And when you begin to change your responses, your boundaries, and your perspective, it naturally shifts the dynamic around you. As they remind listeners, the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason—you’re meant to move forward, not stay stuck looking back. If this episode made you think differently, please share it with someone who might be stuck in the same cycle and leave a review of the podcast to help others find this support. If you’re dealing with a high-conflict co-parent and feel stuck in patterns that aren’t working, Countering Alienation will show you a different way. You’ll learn practical communication tools, how to shift the dynamic without escalating conflict, and how to protect your relationship with your child. This is where change starts—don’t stay stuck. Register here: https://www.beyonddivorcecourses.com/offers/LoSnQoUH/checkout