Faith and Growth

The Power of Acceptance: How to Welcome What You Never Would Have Chosen | 47

The night after Fofi passed, I found myself on the bathroom floor in fetal position, rocking back and forth, wanting to rip my own head off. Wanting to disappear. Wanting to lose contact with reality because reality was too hard to bear. I want to be honest with you about that because you need to know that I know what it feels like to be in the pit. And I also need you to know that experiencing pain does not have to include that sensation permanently. I learned that within a month. And in this episode I want to teach you what I learned. One morning not long after losing Fofi, I was at Mass asking God, what do I do now? All I could hear from the scriptures being read was one single word. Accept. And I knew. I knew that was the answer to my prayer. Every day this week, or for as long as you need it, I invite you to pray the Welcoming Prayer of Thomas Keating. It goes like this. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I welcome everything that comes to me today because I know it is for my healing. I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations, and conditions. I let go of my desire for power and control. I let go of my desire for affection, esteem, approval, and pleasure. I let go of my desire for survival and security. I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person, or myself. I open to the love and presence of God and God's action within. Amen. The moment you welcome what is as is is the very moment you will begin to manifest the peace and the joy that surpasses all understanding. I promise you that. I love you like crazy.Resources & Links:Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.comIf you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.comGrab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgcDownload the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot!Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW to secure your spot

The Blueprint to Becoming the Best Mom: 5 Lessons from Mother Mary | 46

Today is my daughter Mia's birthday. May 19. My rainbow baby. And I went into my computer to find the story of how I found out she was coming, because I wanted to share it with you. What I found instead brought me to tears. Searching for the word rainbow in my manuscript took me back to the very beginning of the story. To the last Sunday I took Fofi to Mass before she passed. To the moment our family friend carried her up to kiss the image of our Blessed Mother outside the church. To the reflection of a rainbow on the wall made of sunlight and colored glass. I had forgotten I wrote it that way. And it broke me open all over again. So today I am going to tell you the story of how Mia came to be, because it is one of the most extraordinary miracles of my life. And then I am going to give you something I have been wanting to give you for a long time. The blueprint to becoming the best mother in the world, modeled after the most extraordinary mother who ever lived. THE SAINT BLUEPRINT FOR MOTHERS: In the spirit of the month of May, I want to give you the framework that Mary modeled for all of us. I call it the SAINT acronym, because ultimately that is what we are all called to be. S stands for Surrender. Mary was young, a virgin, and could have been killed for what God asked of her. Her answer was, let it be done according to your will. I am the handmaid of the Lord. My name is Betsy and I am a recovering control freak. I put Fofi in swim lessons. I practiced with her in the pool. I was standing right next to her when she drowned. Control is an illusion. Surrender is releasing the illusion and letting the one who truly has the power drive. Your child belongs to God first. Surrender them to him. A stands for Acceptance. Mary was a yes woman. Not passive. Powerful. She welcomed what is as is without resistance. In the New Testament, when Jesus calls her woman, it is because she is the New Eve. Eve said no. Mary said yes. That is the whole story. I have been working intentionally and diligently on becoming more of a yes woman myself. Submission is not weakness. It is the most powerful thing I know how to do. I stands for Intention. Mary moved with intention. When she found out her cousin Elizabeth was pregnant, she rushed to her. There was no car. She had a destination and she moved toward it without drifting. Setting an intention means making a decision, connecting to divine power, and giving meaning to everything you do. You are not doing the dishes. You are loving your family. N stands for Noble. Mary was humble, graceful, obedient, and powerful all at the same time. When Jesus was lost for three days and came back saying he was simply in his Father's house, she did not scream. She pondered all these things in her heart. That is what nobility looks like. You can be deeply powerful and deeply noble at the same time. T stands for Trust. Mary trusted God with everything she had. Her reputation. Her safety. Her son. She trusted him even to the cross. If you truly trusted that what your child is going through right now is preparing them for their mission, what would change in you? Build that identity. Step into that trust. Glorify God in advance for what you have not yet seen. Be a saint. You are already the chosen mother of a child who belongs to God first. He is not going to leave them alone. And neither are you.

How to Help Someone in Pain Without Losing Yourself | 45

A few weeks ago one of my students wrote in our FBCA WhatsApp group asking for support. She had just found out that one of her best friends had received a very serious diagnosis. She was devastated. She said, I cannot support my friend right now because of how I am feeling.   Here is the thing. This student of mine has faced a serious diagnosis herself, not once, not twice, but three times in five years. Of course her body knew exactly what that news meant. Of course it hit her in the bones.   And that moment gave me the idea for this episode, because if you are the kind of person people come to when they are hurting, if strangers in a grocery store tell you their life story, if you lose sleep over other people's pain, if you work in a field where you stare pain in the eye every single day, this one is for you.   I want to teach you how to be empathetic, how to be the face of Christ for the people assigned to you, and how to do it with greatness, wisdom, and compassion, without losing yourself in the process.   WHAT I AM TEACHING IN THIS EPISODE: * The Pit and the Ladder. When someone you love receives hard news, their world feels like a deep dark pit. And when we love hard and care deeply, our instinct is to run and jump right in with them. Now there are two of you in the pit and neither one of you can get out. That is not empathy. That is misery loves company. I am going to teach you a much more powerful way. * What true empathy actually looks like. It is grabbing a long ladder, going down to where your friend is, sitting with them, letting your face deform with pain, crying with them, holding space, saying nothing that tries to fix it or rush it. And then, when the time is right, climbing back up and extending your hand. Come with me. Let me give you some hope. Let me help you find the best doctor, the best attorney, the best path forward. That is empathy. That is the face of Christ. * Why feeling is healing. When you allow yourself to welcome the pain, to fully feel it without dwelling in it, you are doing something sacred. The key is the difference between welcoming a feeling and pitching a tent inside it. You can visit the pit. You just cannot move in. * What to do when the pain feels bigger than you. Journal it. Rant on the page. Say all the things. Then pause, pray, invite the Holy Spirit to take over, and let God write the response through your hand. Breathe. Inhale peace, exhale the emotion, twice as long on the exhale. Come back to the present. Come back to the person in the pit and extend the hand again.     If you are the person people call when they are broken, if you are the one who absorbs everyone else's pain and cannot put it down, I want you to know two things.   First, your heart is one of the most beautiful things about you. Do not let anyone, including yourself, make you feel like caring too much is a flaw.   Second, you are not meant to carry it. You are meant to hold it gently, bring it to God, and then use it to serve. The ladder goes both ways. Your job is to climb down and extend the hand. Not to stay at the bottom.   And if you feel called to be equipped, truly equipped, to help the people God has assigned to you, I want to tell you something. God does not choose the equipped. He equips the chosen. And if people naturally come to you for support, you have already been chosen. Now it is time to be formed. Resources & Links: * Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.com * If you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.com * Grab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgc [https://a.co/d/awwbAgc] * Download the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot! * Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/purpose/https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW [https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW] to secure your spot

What To DO after You Be: Be-Do-Have Method | 44

I am one of four kids. My oldest sister has severe special needs and needed a lot from my parents. My brother came next and gave them a serious run for their money. By the time they got to me, they were tired.   And so I learned, very early in life, to earn my place.   I got straight A's. I ironed my father's shirts. I became the star student of the month so that my parents would take time off work to come to the assembly and see me. I learned that love was something you perform your way into. And I carried that belief with me for decades, into relationships, into my business, and yes, even into my faith.   I was trying to earn heaven. I was doing all the right things, going to Mass, serving others, being generous, being good, because I desperately wanted to see my daughter Fofi again one day. And I was doing it all from a place of earning.   Until a priest looked at me and said two words that cracked me open.    Love is free.    That is what this episode is about.   WHAT I AM SHARING IN THIS EPISODE: * The story of how I grew up learning to earn love and how that pattern followed me into every area of my life, including my business, where I eventually found myself doing more and more while receiving less and less.   * The difference between self-confidence and self-worth, and why this distinction from Jamie Kern Lima's book "Worthy" was one of the most important things I have ever read. Self-confidence is built by doing. Self-worth requires nothing from you. It simply requires you to be.   * Why I realized I was doing everything right in my business but skipping the being entirely, and how that was the exact reason the results were not coming as fast as I needed them to.  * The Oprah quote that stopped me in my tracks: we do not get what we want. We do not get what we work for. We get what we believe we deserve.   * Why God does not give you a cross bigger than you can carry, and what that same truth means for his blessings. If your heart and your mind are the size of a drawer, the graces God has for you, the car-sized graces of love, forgiveness, and abundance, simply do not fit. Your job is to expand.   * Why you cannot skip the being. Doing is not the foundation. Being is. And when you do without first doing the work of being, you will find yourself exhausted, resentful, and wondering why nothing is working, even when you are working as hard as you possibly can.   If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who is working themselves to exhaustion and still wondering why it is not enough. You could be the reason they finally understand that they are already enough. I love you like crazy. See you next week.  Resources & Links: * Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.com * If you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.com * Grab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgc [https://a.co/d/awwbAgc] * Download the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot! * Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/purpose/https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW [https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW] to secure your spot

Become your Future Self with the BE-DO-HAVE Model | 43

You are the creator and producer of your life movie. And today I am going to teach you exactly how to direct it. Most of us have been taught that the path to the life we want looks like this: first you HAVE the thing, then you DO what people who have that thing do, and then finally you get to BE happy, free, successful, loved, fulfilled.   Have. Do. Be.   And I spent years living that way, waiting until I had enough money to feel abundant, waiting until I found love to feel lovable, waiting until the grief passed to feel joy again.   But that is the worldly model. And it was keeping me stuck.   The spiritual model of manifestation, the one I teach inside the Faith Based Coaching Academy and in every speaking engagement I do, flips that completely. And once you understand it, you cannot unsee it.   Be. Do. Have.   IN THIS EPISODE I AM TEACHING YOU: * The science behind why your reticular activating system (the RAS) keeps finding evidence for whatever you already believe, and how to use that in your favor instead of against yourself.   * The difference between the world's model of success (have, do, be) and the spiritual model (be, do, have), and why one leaves you exhausted and the other leaves you fulfilled the entire journey.   * How I did my own money mindset work after years of believing that money was meant to be given away at my own cost, and what that pattern was creating in my business without me realizing I was the common denominator.   * How I applied this same model in the darkest season of my life after losing my daughter Fofi, when I did not know how to be happy again, and God showed me the way one small act at a time.   * How to borrow the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings of your future self right now, before the circumstances have changed, so that you begin to create the reality you desire from the inside out.   * Why you cannot live your faith without doing the personal development work, and you cannot do the personal development work without faith. They are not separate. They are the same thing. If this episode shifted something in you, please subscribe and share it with someone who is waiting for their life to change instead of becoming the change. I love you like crazy. See you next week.    Resources & Links: * Ready to step into your purpose and answer God’s calling to do more? Learn about my programs at FaithAndGrowth.com * If you’re ready to take action, book a call at TalkToBetsy.com * Grab my book, Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the Pain of Grief, Loss, and Adversity: https://a.co/d/awwbAgc [https://a.co/d/awwbAgc] * Download the Better with Betsy App and gain 24/7 access to Betsy through her Betsy Bot! * Free Purpose Workshop! Go to https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/purpose/https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW [https://faithbasedcoachingacademy.com/FW] to secure your spot