Inchstones with Sarah | Autism Advocacy & Caregiver Stories

Caregiver Stories: Choosing Love Through the Unexpected Journey of Motherhood with Valerie Probstfeld

Every mother begins with expectations. Few of us imagine how deeply motherhood will transform our identity. In this episode of Inchstones, Sarah Kernion sits down with author and nurse practitioner Valerie Probstfeld, creator of To Mom Is to Love, for a heartfelt conversation about caregiver stories, neurodivergent parenting, grief, identity, and learning to choose love when life unfolds differently than expected. Valerie shares the experience of becoming a mother in the NICU, where losing control forced her to rethink what motherhood truly means. Together, she and Sarah explore how unexpected diagnoses, profound autism, medical trauma, and unmet expectations reshape caregivers—and why healing often begins by releasing the illusion of control. From autism parenting advice and caregiver emotional support to the role of nature, community, and nervous system regulation, this conversation reminds every parent that growth is rarely linear. Whether you’re raising a child with autism, navigating a difficult diagnosis, or simply learning to trust yourself again, this episode offers encouragement to recognize the sacredness hidden inside ordinary moments. In this episode: 02:10 — Becoming “Mom” and the unexpected identity shift of motherhood 06:10 — Why unmet expectations can feel more painful than reality itself 10:20 — Medical trauma, grief, and feeling unseen as a caregiver 13:10 — Releasing the illusion of control through motherhood 15:00 — Nature, resilience, and why growth is never linear 18:00 — Water, nervous system regulation, and profound autism 21:15 — Why caregivers need community more than ever 24:00 — Choosing love over fear in everyday parenting 27:00 — Finding meaning through the smallest inchstones of motherhood Resources Learn more here about Valerie Probstfeld and her book To Mom Is to Love. [https://www.tomomistolove.com/] Subscribe to the Inchstones Podcast for more conversations about autism advocacy, caregiver stories, neurodivergent parenting, and practical encouragement for families raising autistic children. Read Sarah’s caregiver essays on the Inchstones Substack. [https://inchstones.substack.com/]

Beyond the Autism Diagnosis: Seeing the Child Before the Label | Dr. John Gaitanis

What if autism isn’t one condition to treat, but many different biological stories waiting to be understood? In this episode of Inchstones, Sarah Kernion sits down with pediatric neurologist Dr. John Gaitanis to explore why autism care should begin with understanding the individual child—not simply the diagnosis. Together they discuss autism advocacy, root cause medicine, caregiver experiences, neurodevelopment, inflammation, motor planning, and why families often recognize important patterns long before medicine does. Dr. Gaitanis challenges the idea that autism is a single biological condition, explaining why many children share a diagnosis while presenting with remarkably different medical histories, developmental pathways, and support needs. He shares why physicians should focus on understanding each child’s unique biology, why systemic inflammation and developmental regression deserve closer attention, and how artificial intelligence may help uncover patterns that families have recognized for years. The conversation also explores the emotional side of neurodivergent parenting. Sarah and Dr. G discuss maternal pattern recognition, caregiver stress, nervous system regulation, sleep deprivation, and why supporting parents is inseparable from supporting autistic children. Whether you’re navigating a recent autism diagnosis, raising a child with profound autism, searching for autism therapy options, or simply looking for thoughtful autism advocacy grounded in curiosity rather than certainty, this episode offers a hopeful framework for asking better questions. In this episode: 03:10 — Why “autism” may describe many different biological conditions 07:30 — Maternal pattern recognition and why caregivers often notice problems first 10:05 — Systems thinking versus siloed medicine in autism care 14:00 — Why two autistic children can have completely different biological profiles 18:15 — Artificial intelligence and the future of autism diagnosis and personalized medicine 21:05 — Whole-body dyspraxia, motor planning, and autism communication 27:20 — How physicians can move beyond diagnostic labels to see the whole child 35:45 — Caregiver burnout, chronic stress, and protecting parent health 41:05 — Why trusting maternal intuition matters throughout the autism diagnosis journey Resources Learn more about Dr. John Gaitanis and Meadow BioSciences. [http://www.meadowbiosciences.com] Subscribe to the Inchstones Podcast for more conversations about autism advocacy, caregiver stories, neurodivergent parenting, profound autism care, and practical support for families raising autistic children. Read more caregiver essays on the Inchstones Substack [http://www.inchstones.substack.com].

Autism Fatherhood: When My Son Brought Me to My Knees | Tommy of Spectrum in Camouflage

What does autism teach a father about strength? In this episode of Inchstones, Sarah Kernion sits down with Tommy of Spectrum in Camouflage for an honest conversation about autism fatherhood, faith, mental health, and how raising a nonspeaking autistic son completely transformed his understanding of success, purpose, and what truly matters. When Tommy’s son Wyatt began losing language around age two and a half, everything he thought he knew about fatherhood changed. As a construction business owner, husband, and father, he spent years believing strength meant fixing problems. Autism forced him to discover a different kind of strength: presence, surrender, and learning to live one inchstone at a time. Together, Sarah and Tommy explore autism parenting, profound autism, fatherhood, caregiver mental health, marriage, faith, and the quiet transformation that often happens inside parents long before anyone else notices it. This conversation explores: * autism fatherhood * nonspeaking autism * profound autism * caregiver mental health * autism parenting and marriage * faith during difficult seasons * living in the present moment * autism advocacy * parenting beyond societal expectations * finding joy in inchstones instead of milestones Tommy also shares his experience navigating anxiety, depression, and the realization that while he could not fix autism, he could become a different father because of it. His story offers encouragement for autism dads, caregivers, and families searching for hope grounded in reality rather than false promises. ⸻ In This Episode 00:00 – Introducing Tommy and Spectrum in Camouflage 02:00 – Becoming a father after years of waiting 04:00 – Wyatt’s autism regression and losing language 06:00 – Anxiety, mental health, and feeling powerless 08:00 – The mountain where everything changed 10:00 – Why autism brought Tommy to his knees 12:00 – Faith, surrender, and finding purpose through autism 15:00 – Success versus significance in fatherhood 17:00 – The hidden expectations parents carry 19:00 – Why inchstones matter more than milestones 21:00 – Learning to see growth differently 23:00 – Autism, communication, and presence beyond words 25:00 – Living where your boots are: staying present today 28:00 – Parenting typical and autistic children differently 31:00 – Mental health, nervous system regulation, and resilience 33:00 – Speaking openly so other autism dads feel less alone Listen to more episodes of the Inchstones Podcast, where Sarah Kernion shares caregiver stories, autism advocacy, profound autism experiences, neurodivergent parenting, and honest conversations that help families feel seen, understood, and less alone.

Why Autism Moms Never Stop Listening for Footsteps with Libby Hudson

What happens when years of caregiving, hypervigilance, grief, and responsibility finally catch up with a mother? In this episode of Inchstones, Sarah Kernion sits down with Libby Hudson for an unfiltered conversation about profound autism, marriage, caregiver burnout, grief, and what it takes to survive when your family’s needs seem bigger than your capacity to carry them. Libby and her husband Tyler Hudson have become respected voices in the profound autism community, but behind advocacy and awareness lies a deeply personal story. As their son Lyric entered adolescence, a devastating family loss triggered profound behavioral changes, escalating aggression, and years of living in a near-constant state of vigilance and fear. Libby shares what it felt like to lose her father, watch her son struggle to process grief he could not communicate, and navigate the impossible reality of loving a child while simultaneously fearing what dysregulation might bring next. Together, Sarah and Libby discuss: * profound autism and adolescence * caregiver burnout and nervous system exhaustion * grief and autism * marriage under chronic stress * maternal hypervigilance * supporting autistic adults * emotional collapse and resilience * the importance of asking for help * finding purpose after survival mode The conversation also explores something rarely discussed openly in autism spaces: the cost caregiving can have on a mother’s body, identity, relationships, and health. Libby shares how years of accumulated stress ultimately contributed to a stroke and the difficult changes her family had to make to survive. This episode is for autism moms, caregivers, and families navigating profound autism, aggression, caregiver burnout, marriage stress, grief, and the emotional realities that often remain hidden behind advocacy. In This Episode 00:00 – Living with constant hypervigilance and caregiving stress 02:00 – Reading nonverbal communication through behavior and body language 04:00 – The death of Lyric’s grandfather and profound grief 05:30 – When autism, adolescence, and loss collide 07:00 – Aggression, dysregulation, and fear inside the home 08:30 – The emotional toll of surviving crisis mode 10:00 – Why caregiving changed Libby’s health forever 11:30 – A stroke, burnout, and the body keeping score 13:00 – Marriage under pressure and redefining family roles 15:00 – Learning to ask for what you need 17:00 – Why flexibility matters in autism families 19:00 – Autism, relationships, and nervous system regulation 21:00 – The hidden emotional labor of autism motherhood 23:00 – Why support systems matter more than services alone 25:00 – Receiving an autism diagnosis 18 years ago 27:00 – Grief, acceptance, and adapting to reality 29:00 – The lessons profound autism has taught about life and love 31:00 – What makes Libby most proud as Lyric’s mother Listen to more episodes of the Inchstones Podcast, where Sarah Kernion shares caregiver stories, profound autism experiences, autism advocacy, and honest conversations about neurodivergent parenting.

Horses, Autism, and the Healing Power of Nature | Dana Spett of Pony Power Therapies

What happens when autism support moves beyond four walls and into nature? In this episode of Inchstones, Sarah Kernion sits down with Dr. Dana Spett, founder of Pony Power Therapies, to explore autism, sensory regulation, equine-assisted services, and why connection, movement, and nature can create powerful opportunities for growth. Dana’s journey began as a mother searching for support for her own daughter. What started with one horse and four riders has grown into Pony Power Therapies, a community-centered organization helping children and adults with disabilities connect with horses, farming, nature, and themselves. Together, Sarah and Dana discuss autism parenting, sensory regulation, maternal intuition, nature-based learning, disability inclusion, and the importance of creating environments where autistic individuals can thrive without pressure to conform. Dana shares why traditional approaches are not always enough and how horses offer a unique opportunity for regulation, confidence, connection, and belonging. The conversation explores: * autism and sensory regulation * equine-assisted services * nature-based support for autistic children * maternal intuition and advocacy * disability inclusion and community belonging * farming, purpose, and meaningful work * autism and nervous system regulation * creating supportive environments for neurodivergent individuals Dana also shares how Pony Power supports families across the lifespan, from young children with autism to adults navigating life after age 21, when many formal support systems begin to disappear. This episode is for autism moms, caregivers, educators, therapists, and anyone interested in nature-based approaches to autism support, sensory regulation, disability advocacy, and helping neurodivergent individuals build meaningful lives and connections. In This Episode 00:00 – The mission behind Pony Power Therapies 01:00 – Dana’s journey as a social worker and autism mom 02:30 – Following maternal intuition instead of rushing to medication 04:00 – Why trusting your gut matters in autism parenting 05:30 – Equine-assisted services and empowering families 06:30 – How autistic children respond to horses and nature 08:00 – Sensory regulation through movement and rhythm 09:30 – Why horses provide unique nervous system support 11:00 – Nature, regulation, and the family system 13:00 – Beyond traditional talk therapy approaches 14:30 – The role of nature in mental health and autism support 16:00 – Nonverbal communication and connection beyond words 17:30 – Why leaving the house feels impossible for some families 19:00 – Supporting dysregulated autistic children without judgment 21:00 – Creating safe spaces for neurodivergent families 23:30 – The autism service cliff after age 21 25:00 – Farming, employment, and meaningful purpose for autistic adults 27:00 – Disability inclusion and reimagining community support Listen to more episodes of the Inchstones Podcast, where Sarah Kernion shares caregiver stories, autism advocacy, profound autism perspectives, neurodivergent parenting, and conversations that challenge us to build more inclusive communities. More about Dr. Dana Spett, DSW  Dr. Dana Spett, DSW, an accomplished professional with a deep commitment to equine- assisted services, nature, and social work is the Founder and Executive Director of Pony Power Therapies, a nonprofit community-based center in New Jersey that connects children and adults with disabilities or life challenges to the wonders of horses, farming and nature. Dana has dedicated herself to creating an inclusive and transformative environment guided by nature. Recognizing the power of nature to promote resilience and personal growth, Dana ensures that Pony Power Therapies embodies true inclusivity in all aspects of its operations. Her focus on Equine in Nature Assisted Social Work (ENASW) is reflected in her research and teaching, where she centers on developing an ethical and competent practice model for this field. Dana currently teaches master’s Level Social Workers at Rutgers University, Smith College, and Ramapo College. Dana is a published author and accomplished speaker. When not working, Dana loves spending time with her husband Steven, their three magnificent children and partners, and their pack of small dogs at their beloved farm in Grafton, Vermont. Click here to discover more about Pony Power Therapies  [https://www.ponypowernj.org/] Instagram: @ponypowertherapies Facebook: @PPTherapies LinkedIn: @pony-power-therapies