Living The Third Way

"Where Are You?" What God's Question to Adam Taught Us About Repairing With Our Kids

What do a soaking-wet bathroom floor, a three-year-old's meltdown, and the first question God asks after the Fall have in common? In this episode, Shae and Adrian walk through a real rupture-and-repair moment with their son. From the chaos of a bath time blow-up to an unexpectedly tender conversation that left Adrian standing outside the door whispering something unprintable to himself. What started as a parenting story became a window into one of the most fundamental questions in all of human experience: Where are you? In this episode, you'll hear: * Why "nip it in the bud" often backfires — and what to do instead when everyone's too activated to talk * The difference between a consequence and a punishment (and why it matters more than you think) * How Shae used parts language with a three-year-old to move him from shame and shutdown to real conversation * What "Grumpy Gill" taught them about separating identity from behavior * Why God's first question to Adam after the Fall wasn't "What did you do?"  and what that reveals about how love actually works * The many ways we've all learned to hide: workaholism, doom scrolling, defensiveness, distancing from prayer * And the question worth sitting with: Who in your life is willing to come looking for you in the bushes? This episode is for anyone who has ever confused what they've done with who they are and for every parent trying to love their kid back to themselves after a hard moment. Connect with Shae and Adrian:  Website: adrianandshae.com  Email: hello@adrianandshae.com  Instagram: @adrianandshae

Is Tending to Yourself Sinful? Self-Love, Family Wounds, and the Catholic Case for Interior Attentiveness

Something one participant said near the end of their first group cohort stopped Shae and Adrian in their tracks: tending to the self doesn't just feel selfish — it feels sinful. In this episode, they unpack why that belief is so common, where it comes from, and why they believe the opposite is true: that interior attentiveness is not a detour from holiness but the very ground it grows from. In this episode: * Why the fear that self-focus is sinful is so deeply formed — and why it masquerades as virtue * What self-abandonment actually looks like in everyday life: people-pleasing, lack of boundaries, resentment, numbness, and the "dam breaking" * The difference between emotional neglect that's dramatic and the kind that quietly stacks up over time in otherwise loving families * Why that internal voice that says "they did their best" or "other people have it worse" isn't always the voice of maturity * What true emotional maturity actually holds: that someone tried their best and fell short, and that both things are real * The Lenten/Easter framework: why we aren't meant to skip over the suffering to get to the resurrection * Luigi Giussani's concept of "the I" and why losing touch with your interior life means losing touch with where God actually meets you * The difference between processing and weaponizing — and why it matters for healing * What it looks like to begin tending to yourself in practical, ordinary terms * How self-love, rightly ordered, is what makes the free gift of self actually possible Reflection prompt from this episode: This week, notice one moment when you're talking yourself out of the way you actually feel. Don't shame yourself for it. Just notice. That's where this practice begins. Connect with Shae and Adrian:  Website: adrianandshae.com  Email: hello@adrianandshae.com  Instagram: @adrianandshae

Embracing Conflict in Marriage: The Power of Self-Gift and Vulnerability

Discover how fighting can be a gateway to deeper intimacy and growth in marriage. Shae and Adrian share raw stories, frameworks, and spiritual insights on how conflict, when approached with tenderness and self-awareness, transforms into a gift that reveals the true depth of love. In this episode: * Why conflict is a normal and essential part of marriage, not the enemy * How childhood wounds and past experiences shape our reactions in disagreements * The importance of vulnerability and raw honesty in building trust * The role of nervous system patterns and self-protection in arguments * Practical steps for fighting to understand, not to defend * The symbolism of cruciformity: marriage as a path of surrender and resurrection * Encouragement to give up the illusion of perfect understanding or control * How to practice tenderness and curiosity during conflict * Personal stories revealing the messiness and beauty of real relationship * Resources for ongoing growth and connection Resources & Links: * adrianandshae.com [http://adrianandshae.com] Remember: Marriage is a journey of cruciform love — embracing vulnerability, suffering, and resurrection. Fight with purpose. Keep fighting to understand and be understood, because you are worth it. Connect with Shae and Adrian:  Website: adrianandshae.com  Email: hello@adrianandshae.com  Instagram: @adrianandshae

Self-Reliance Is a House of Cards: Why “manifesting” can’t save you and what actually can

Self-reliance often begins as survival and slowly becomes a prison. In this episode of Living the Third Way, Shae and Adrian explore how self-reliance forms in families where it wasn’t safe to struggle, need help, or fail. What begins as a protective adaptation can quietly turn into a belief that you must carry life alone and that suffering means you’re doing something wrong. They examine how modern manifestation culture and New Thought spirituality reinforce this pattern by promising control over reality, while subtly placing the full weight of healing, happiness, and meaning back onto the individual. When pain can’t be “thought away,” it easily becomes personal failure. Through the lens of Catholic anthropology and personalism, Shae and Adrian offer a different path: healing that happens in relationship, identity that is received rather than constructed, and a vision of the human person as a mind–body–soul unity. This episode invites listeners to lay down the exhausting work of doing life alone and to discover why dependence, rightly understood, is not weakness, but mercy. Interested in deeper support? We offer daily mentorship for individuals navigating family wounds, emotional overwhelm, and the slow work of healing in relationship. You can find out more at our website: https://adrianandshae.com [https://adrianandshae.com]  We’re also currently building a waitlist for the next cohort of our group program, Unmeshed, which guides participants through disentangling from family enmeshment and reclaiming their God-given identity through psychological and spiritual integration. Email us to express interest or be notified about the next cohort: hello@adrianandshae.com Referenced in this episode * The Mindful Catholic [https://bookshop.catholicpsych.com/products/the-mindful-catholic-finding-god-one-moment-at-a-time] by Dr. Greg Bottaro Connect with Shae and Adrian:  Website: adrianandshae.com  Email: hello@adrianandshae.com  Instagram: @adrianandshae

Self-Stewardship, Not Self-Improvement: What If This Year Is an Experiment?

The start of a new year often brings resolutions, pressure, and quiet disappointment when we don’t live up to our plans. But what if there’s a different way to begin? In this episode, we propose an alternative to self-improvement: self-stewardship. Rather than fixing or optimizing yourself, what if this year became an experiment — a chance to see whether caring for the self you’ve been given actually leads to more freedom, presence, and life? We explore what it looks like to tend to your interior life with curiosity instead of pressure. We reflect on how small shifts in attention, care, and responsibility can quietly reshape not only your own experience, but also the way you show up in relationships — including family life. This conversation is an invitation to begin the year without urgency, guilt, or grand promises — and instead, to stay long enough with yourself to discover what’s truly life-giving. ____________ If this conversation resonates, we invite you to continue the exploration with us. Our upcoming free webinar [https://unmeshed.online] offers space to look more closely at how self-stewardship and relational healing intersect, especially within family dynamics. You can find out more here: https://unmeshed.online [https://unmeshed.online] And for those longing for deeper, ongoing accompaniment, our daily mentorship [https://adrianandshae.com] is a place to heal and practice this way of relating to yourself and others with support, clarity, and presence. You can find out more here: https://adrianandshae.com [https://adrianandshae.com] Connect with Shae and Adrian:  Website: adrianandshae.com  Email: hello@adrianandshae.com  Instagram: @adrianandshae