Meditation Labs: Episodic Auditory Relaxation and Sleep Inducer

Crappy Bushwick, Brooklyn apartment during an overnight thunderstorm

Spend a lovely evening in a total piece of shit Bushwick, Brooklyn apartment during a replenishing thunderstorm. Find serenity as you listen to the sounds of rain on your window, thunder from above, and an exciting city right outside. This apartment has stunning views of an alley, the ceiling leaks whenever it rains, and the rent is $4,500 per month. Enjoy the freedom that comes from having nothing to do for three hours as you wait for your landlord to finally respond to your many emergency texts. --- How to Meditate 1. Take a seat. 2. Notice your body. Feel gravity pulling you into your seat. 3. Feel your breath. Pay attention to where you feel the breath most distinctly. 4. Notice when your mind has wandered, and simply come back to the breath, your body, sounds in the room, or anything else you notice in the present moment. 5. Be kind to your wandering mind. 6. Repeat.

Stuck in an elevator for eight hours but you don’t mind because you’re finally free

Enjoy the freedom that comes from having nothing to do for eight hours as you rest while safely trapped in a high-rise elevator. Let the mechanized white noise of the industrial air conditioning and your own auditory hallucinations engulf you, while discovering new planes of tranquility and deep, peaceful sleep. Your enlightenment is located 55 stories above the Earth. ╱╲╱╲╱╲ How to Meditate 1. Take a seat. 2. Notice your body. Feel gravity pulling you into your seat. 3. Feel your breath. Pay attention to where you feel the breath most distinctly. 4. Notice when your mind has wandered, and simply come back to the breath, your body, sounds in the room, or anything else you notice in the present moment. 5. Be kind to your wandering mind. 6. Repeat.