Off AUTOPILOT | The Lexie's Choices Podcast

How You Create A Morning Routine That Actually Feels Good

There are plenty of morning routines out there - both science-backed and experience-based - that promise that if you just follow their steps, you’ll feel amazing. The proven path to a better day, they say. There are the CEO routines.The Mel Robbins routine.The Huberman routine.The “most successful 1%” routine.The Ayurvedic morning rituals.The 5 AM club. They’re not bad. They have their benefits. They might even be the perfect routine for you. But not for everyone. Not for the individual. Because guess what: they’re missing the individuality factor. [https://lexieschoices.substack.com/p/why-intentional-living-matters-and] I tried them all, because I REALLY wanted to be that morning person - getting up and feeling productive right away, having it all together. The famous “5–9 before the 9–5.” But I failed. At all of them. Why? Because I was just stressed by all those to-dos hanging over my head right after waking up - all the things I was supposed to accomplish by 9 AM “to feel my absolute best.” And if you miss one of them, your whole day feels ruined (I’m exaggerating… but you get the point). I do love having some time to myself in the morning before the day kicks off. But first and foremost, it has to feel cozy. Aligned with my energy levels, my mood, and even the weather. Yes - all of that matters. So: NOPE. These hustle mornings? Not for me. Are they for you? If not, I’ve got a slightly different approach. One that honours individuality. One that honours you. Why We Need Yet Another Morning Routine Approach Creating a routine that truly honours you starts with understanding how your body actually wakes up and what it needs first thing in the morning. And did you know? Your body’s natural cortisol awakening response (known as CAR) - a healthy spike in cortisol that occurs about 30–60 minutes after waking - is your body’s way of gently preparing you to meet the demands of the day. It raises alertness, boosts energy, and helps you transition from rest to activity. This process takes time. In those first 15–30 minutes after waking, you’re experiencing sleep inertia, the grogginess that signals your brain is still transitioning. This is definitely not the moment to dive straight into stimulation. Instead, your body needs this natural warm-up phase to fully prepare itself. When you immediately reach for your phone, check messages, or rush into tasks, you’re essentially skipping that gentle transition and adding an extra layer of stress before your system has even fully woken up. Going with your natural rhythm might mean allowing those first few minutes to unfold calmly - waking up with your body instead of fighting against it. And listening when you’re body is ready. And that’s exactly where intentionality begins - not with a checklist, but with awareness. Additionally, studies confirm that the way you spend your mornings set the emotional and cognitive tone for the entire day. So to make your day as aligned with you as possible, you should start it intentionally. When I began introducing intentional choices into my mornings, the shift was incredible. Over time, I identified my staples - the things I love to do in the mornings depending on what my mind and body need that day. And you can absolutely find them too. Let’s explore how. Finding Your Staples Let’s turn this science into something practical - something that helps you create a morning routine that truly feels like yours. First of all: How do you find your staples? How do you decide what you need each morning? Honestly, just my humble opinion: choosing what you need each day - that’s real freedom, isn’t it? Step 1: Tune In When I first started this journey and had no clue what I actually enjoyed in the mornings, I gave myself five quiet minutes after waking up. I’d sit up in bed and just breathe. You can call it meditation, visualization, or simply tuning into your intuition - whatever works for you. The point is to notice how you feel, what your energy is like, and what you’d truly love to do right now to feel good. Choose this as your morning activity. The science behind this simple check-in [https://lexieschoices.substack.com/p/the-one-tiny-habit-that-will-change] is powerful: Even brief mindfulness practices can increase gray matter in the hippocampus (important for learning and emotional regulation) and improve self-awareness. Over time, it also strengthens interoception - your ability to notice internal signals like hunger, fatigue, or emotional states. You can also visualize your whole day - what’s the vibe, the intention? Now, whatever you choose for your morning, just a small but important reminder: don’t grab your phone. [https://lexieschoices.substack.com/p/break-free-of-doomscrolling-and-get] It might sound small, but this one habit alone (or rather, quitting it) can change the tone of your entire morning. Here’s why. Why the Phone-Free Start Matters When you wake up, your brain naturally transitions through different stages - from delta waves (deep sleep) to theta waves (dreamlike state) to alpha waves (relaxed awareness). Grabbing your phone immediately bypasses these crucial stages and overstimulates your prefrontal cortex during “sleep inertia,” the natural transition from sleep to wakefulness. Even more importantly, morning phone use creates dopamine spikes followed by deficits that set up craving patterns for the rest of your day. While we can’t directly control dopamine levels through simple activities (the science is more nuanced than the “low-dopamine morning” trend suggests), avoiding high-stimulation content first thing helps prevent the spike-and-crash cycle that affects focus and motivation later on. Step 2: Collect Data Repeat this for a few mornings to gather some “data” on your energy levels, moods, and preferences. Make a note - mental, physical, or digital - of what comes up for you. And if you’re like me and experience time-blindness, track how long each activity takes. About time-blindness: It’s a real neurological phenomenon, particularly common in ADHD (hello, fellow ADHDers), where disrupted internal timing systems make it difficult to estimate how long tasks take. Tracking durations isn’t about rigid scheduling - it’s about collecting information that helps you plan realistically and reduce morning stress. See this as an experiment. Make it exciting, channel your inner curiosity. It’s a wonderful journey to get to know yourself better. Because after all, you should know yourself best. Once you have gathered insights about your mornings, you’ll start noticing what feels best - in other words, your unique staples. My Morning Staples (For Inspiration) And that’s it. Very unfancy. Super straightforward. But it works. If you need some inspiration, these are my staples - usually in this order: ☀️ Getting some morning light (about 30 minutes by a window or outside, until I feel my body is ready to get going); it helps regulate my circadian rhythm and supports that natural cortisol awakening response. During this time, I love to read, journal, or meditate with a glass of lemon water and a Matcha Latte - still in my PJs, of course. → Personal (not paid) recommendations:“Medito” is my go-to meditation app, with courses and daily meditations ; and it’s completely free!For journaling, I use Diarium. It’s a one-time purchase (no subscription) that unlocks all Pro features, including cloud syncing and much more, similar to Day One. 🐾 Getting dressed in workout clothes and going for a short walk with my pup. 🧘‍♀️ Yoga session.My favorite teacher is Charlie Follows [https://www.youtube.com/@CharlieFollows]; she focuses on strength and alignment and offers weekly schedules. 🚿 Shower and get ready for the day. 🥑 Morning snack and start work. I switch them around, skip some, or replace them. And it’s so important to follow not a rigid routine, but a fluid one. That freedom to adjust is exactly what keeps my mornings sustainable - and science agrees. Why Flexibility Matters (According to Science) Research shows that psychological flexibility - the ability to adapt your behaviour based on what you need in the moment - is fundamental to mental health. People who use flexible coping strategies experience better daily adjustment and less anxiety and depression compared to those with rigid routines. So if you skip the walk some mornings or have breakfast before getting dressed, you’re absolutely not “failing”; you’re keeping yourself mentally sane and allow your routines work for real life. Final Thoughts Remember: My staples are based on what my body and schedule need. Yours might look completely different - maybe you prefer journaling over walking, or breakfast before your shower, or twenty minutes of reading. The point is that you’ve chosen them consciously, they feel good to you, and you have the flexibility to adapt them when life happens. Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end. I hope you found something valuable in here - something that makes your next morning feel a little more intentional. I’d love to know:☀️ Do you follow a morning routine?☀️ Which of these steps resonated most with you? If these kinds of conversations speak to you, make sure to subscribe to get access to the weekly Off Autopilot episodes and the occasional Letter of Lexie. And if you know someone who could use a gentle reminder like this, share it with them - it might be exactly what they need today. Have a wonderful morning! ☀️ Take care. Love,Lexie. Some interesting readings The circadian system modulates the cortisol awakening response in humans [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9669756/] Morning Routine Disruptions Hurt Worker Productivity, UW Researcher Finds [https://www.uwyo.edu/news/2020/11/morning-routine-disruptions-hurt-worker-productivity-uw-researcher-finds.html] Psychological Flexibility as a Fundamental Aspect of Health [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735810000413?via%3Dihub] Increasing psychological flexibility is associated with positive therapy outcomes following a transdiagnostic ACT treatment [https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1403718/full] Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S092549271000288X?via%3Dihub] Mindfulness, Interoception, and the Body [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9220884/] Cortical activity upon awakening from sleep reveals consistent spatio-temporal gradients across sleep stages in human EEG [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982225008243] Smartphone dependence and its influence on physical and mental health [https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2025.1281841/full] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lexieschoices.substack.com/subscribe [https://lexieschoices.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

The One Tiny Habit That Will Change Your Life If You Let It (And It’s Easier Than You Think)

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lexieschoices.substack.com [https://lexieschoices.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] To listen to all episodes, subscribe here: https://lexieschoices.substack.com/subscribe [https://lexieschoices.substack.com/subscribe] When we want to change our life, we often want to do it all — wake up at 5 a.m., cut out all sugar, follow a rigid workout schedule, complete your daily 10 non-negotiables. And dare you miss one of these points, then you’ve “failed” and have to start over — again. Now, pause for a second. Don’t you rather want to change your life in a way that’s not just someone else’s playbook for a “perfect” lifestyle — but one aligned with you? Flourish and thrive by taking actions that actually fit your personality, your needs, and your dream lifestyle? I’ll let you in on a little secret: if you follow those Pinterest-perfect routines, you’ll fail sooner or later — because they’re not you. Instead of filling your cup, they slowly deplete it. Because they’re not aligned with you. When something isn’t aligned with you, it requires extra effort and energy to sustain. It drains instead of replenishes. So instead of a massive overhaul, over and over again — start small. But make it impactful. One small, consistent shift. That single shift builds momentum. It’s the beginning of every intentional change you’ll ever make in your life. If you want to change your life sustainably — to flourish and become your true, authentic self — you have to lay the groundwork. Plant the seed. Everything else will grow from that seed. And it’s simpler than you think.

Why Intentional Living Matters - and How to Find Your Why

We’re surrounded by advice for achieving the “ideal” life — the “ideal” workout schedule, the “ideal” diet, the “ideal” routines. And while these might work for some, they don’t work for everyone — even if they’re science-backed. Because let’s be honest, that “ideal” person this advice is based on is the average of the population. When advice aims to fit everyone, it makes sure you fit in somehow — even if it’s only partly — and you’ll only ever get a partial outcome. If you follow generic advice made for the average person, you’ll always get an average result. Now, don’t get me wrong: science is awesome. It’s the reason we have knowledge — and knowledge is the foundation of progress. My background is in science, and I admire it so much that I pursued a PhD in it. Research helps us understand the world better. But scientific studies are often based on the average of a specific population. This leads to two important points: * You might not fit the study population. Many long-standing health recommendations are based on studies done in men. That’s changing now, but much of our foundational knowledge still comes from them. * You might not fit the average. Most mainstream routines are designed for neurotypical men. Personally, as a neurodivergent woman, I’ve learned first-hand that many of these “ideal” rules never worked for me. What’s missing is the individuality factor. Think of it like personalized medicine. Generic treatments are great for progress in a field, but personalized medicine gets the best results for the people it’s truly suited for. The same goes for life advice: science-backed information is a great starting point, but it isn’t the whole truth for everyone. That’s where intentionality comes in. Intentional living is about taking what’s proven to work, adding your own self-knowledge, and creating something that aligns with your unique needs and values. You need to know your why It’s wonderful if you want to bring more intention and mindfulness into your life. I’ll be honest with you — it takes practice and patience. In today’s world, it’s far too easy to slip out of good habits and back into the hamster wheel. That’s why, with anything you do or try to implement, you need to know your why. When you know your why, you can always return to it — it becomes your motivation to stay on track. And when you do fall off (because everyone does sometimes), it’s much easier to get back up again. The number one reason people start something new full of excitement and then don’t stick with it is that they don’t know why they’re doing it in the first place. Maybe it looked fancy. Maybe a friend swore by it. But those are external whys. You need your internal one. Everyone can start. But only those who understand what they want to get out of it — and what it will give them if they stay consistent — actually stick with it. This applies to almost anything in life, and it absolutely applies to intentional living. My personal why For me, the reason I keep coming back to intentional living — even after I slip out of it from time to time — is simple: It allows me to stop being a human doing and start being a human being. It gets me off the hamster wheel.It keeps burnout at bay.It helps me live as closely aligned with my priorities as possible. That’s the magic of intentional living. It’s not about squeezing more into your day — it’s about making space for what truly matters. A poem that reminds us of our why I want to leave you with a poem by Erin Hanson that beautifully captures why this matters — why being a human being is more important than endlessly being a human doing: Let me tell the taleOf a girl who didn’t stop,Who climbed up every mountainWithout a pause upon the top. She’d dance until each blade of grassWas clothed in drops of dew,And the sun knew her by nameBut the silver moon did too. For a fear had settled in her bones;A fear of sitting still,That if you’re not moving forwardIt must mean you never will. So in time her dance got slowerAnd she looked at all she’d seen,But found gaps inside the placesThat she’d never fully been, For she was a human doingHuman moving, human seeing,But she’d never taken timeTo simply be a human being. Maybe that’s the heart of it: intentional living gives you the chance to fully be in the moments of your life — instead of just moving through them. If this episode resonated with you, and you know someone who could use a little reminder like this, share it with them. It might be exactly what they need today. Love, Lexie. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lexieschoices.substack.com/subscribe [https://lexieschoices.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]

How to Improve Your Sleep for Better Health, Focus & Joy

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit lexieschoices.substack.com [https://lexieschoices.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_7] Modern women juggle endless responsibilites - careers, families, just to name a few. And when we reach our limit, the first thing we usually sacrifice is sleep. BUT: sleep is actually the last thing you should sacrifice. Poor sleep quickly adds up and leads to foggy focus, short temper, zero motivation. All the things you really DON’T need when trying to keep up with your responsibilities. Instead, it only makes things worse. Multiply these effects by weeks, and you’re on the fast track to burn out. You go from thriving to barely surviving. So on the contrary, sleep is actually the first thing you should protect and prioritize when stress begins to impact your life. It’s not wasted time. It’s the foundation of everything: Your health.Your productivity.Your focus.Your joy. If your not convinced yet, here some science-backed reasons why you should care. https://lexieschoices.substack.com/ [https://lexieschoices.substack.com/]

Break Free of Doomscrolling and Get Your Time - aka Your Life - Back

Everyone knows about it, and most of us are guilty of it: doomscrolling. While we like to pretend that it’s “just a bad habit”, it’s likely more: a toxic relationship. Yes, you’re in a toxic relationship with your phone. And science agrees with me here: doomscrolling is tightly linked to anxiety, depression, and poorer life satisfaction. The worst part about it: this becomes a vicious cycle. Studies show that doomscrolling is driven by our desire for control over uncertainty, and reinforced by our tendency to get stuck in bad habit patterns. This gets amplified by the wonderful social media algorithms that are designed to keep feeding you more of what makes you spiral. The result? Constant psychological distress, troubles regulating our emotions, and a general negative impact in our mental well-being. I’m honest with you: I’ve been there, too. I tried, and failed, many times to break free of this bad habit - I mean, toxic relationship. But last year, I figured it out. And let me be clear: I did not break up with my phone. We are doing pretty well now, actually. Before we get into it, imagine this: All the free time you will get when you don’t constantly hang out with your phone. All the free time you can now use for something more meaningful, something that fuels you up. It is even reported from people that happened to be like us, but finally broke out of the doomscrolling cycle, that they experienced improvements in mood and emotional resilience day-to-day. Now, you won’t be asked to get rid of your phone entirely, delete all apps and become an anti-social human living in a cave. The digital age definitely has its perks, and we should use it to our advantage. But we have to retrain our brain how and when we use our phone.We have to set healthy boundaries to have a good relationship with our phone. Now let me ask you: Do you also want to get your time back? And really, your life? If yes, let me show you how. Spoiler alert: point 1 and 4 are dealbreakers. 1. No phone first thing in the morning I know, you probably heard this advice over and over again. And you know why? Because it works. This tiny little habit change has a ripple effect throughout your whole day. It was actually the first thing that made me rethink my relationship with my phone. I tried this tip, and recognizing this urge to reach that **** phone in the morning really shocked me. Now, to back this up even further: Studies show that when people break that habit of reaching for the phone right after waking, it sets a more intentional tone for the whole day. They experienced less reactivity, more focus, and less psychological distress piling up during the day. Think of this like the capacity of a glass: when it fills up slower, you have more capacity tolerating stress. Now, my next question to you: How much time do you give your phone usually in the morning? And now, with this freed up time, how would you like to spend this time, actually? And I’m not talking about pushing through all the 10 or so steps of whatever version of that ideal morning routine. I’m talking about how YOU truly want to spend this time. And be honest. Is it sleeping? Having coffee in the backyard or on the couch? Stretching? I typically spend my 20 minutes in the morning this way: * 5 minutes cuddling my love * 5 minutes meditation * 10 minutes reading For this, I favorably stay in bed - my safe space. But I will add though that I might change up these things based on my mood, my energy levels, how the weather is outside (because maybe I would rather go for a longer walk with my dog on a sunny day, and bring my matcha latte along with me). Now, to make it easier to break this morning habit of reaching the phone first, I recommend you to place it somewhere non-visible and non-reachable. Put it into a drawer. Into the key box. If you need it as an alarm clock, I truly recommend to invest in a dedicated alarm clock. Or use your smart watch. If you really can’t go without the phone, turn off the internet connection and put it on gray-mode. Now, if you can’t decide on what habit to pick for the morning, I’d recommend to implement some reading. This one habit had a very surprising and beneficial side effect to me: it started a positive momentum. Usually I was so invested into whatever I was reading that I was less likely to grab the phone and instead pick up the book throughout the day. Noticing this, I implemented something more: I started bringing my e-reader along with me wherever I went. So instead of grabbing the phone whenever I was waiting somewhere for something (think bus stop, waiting offices), I pulled out the e-reader instead of the phone. Instead of getting consumed by the phone, I got inspired or educated by a book. 2. Make social media unattractive What I mean by this: make it cumbersome to check. And really, adding friction works. When you need more time to open an app, you give your brain a much needed pause to rethink whether you really want to check social media in that particular moment. This is supported by science: it has been shown that a short pause gives just enough space to instead opt for healthier choices, and over time reduces compulsive behavior - in our case, that reflexive urge to grab the phone whenever your not entertained. How do you make it more cumbersome? You could of course delete all accounts, but in my humble opinion, this is too radical, and eventually you still want to get back to these apps at a point. So, a balanced approach might be more suitable. You could, for example, delete the apps from your phone and only access them from your desktop. However, I have to mention that some social media apps make it really difficult to post anything from your desktop, and discovering new exciting profiles that actually benefit you is also a hurdle. But if you don’t mind that, this is an excellent way to make it cumbersome. A different approach, and the one I chose for myself, is to delete the apps from your homescreen. The time you spend scrolling through all your apps to find the one you want to access is usually just enough to be that much needed “pause” for your brain. This pause to reevaluate whether you really want to give this app your valuable lifetime right now. And another sidenote: turn off all your notifications. This is one of the biggest triggers for stress and mental overload. Your constantly filling up that glass and reduce the capacity that is left for the rest of your day. And, my tough love portion here for you: you won’t die if you don’t get updated all the time. In the end, you have to make a choice: You either miss out on the recent online updates – which are most likely not even real-time and accessible at least all day. Or you miss out on real life moments – which you won’t get back. So, what is it for you? 3. Screen-timeblocking I’m an avid lover for planning, yes, but hear me out. This point is valid. Scheduling your time for scrolling and checking social media can work wonders, especially in the beginning phase where we have to break our habits. Make it intentional. See it as a date with your phone. You could, for example, schedule 30 minutes after you come home from work to sit down with your favourite hot drink and really enjoy this time getting up-to-date. A quick tip for when you tend to overextend your scheduled time:take advantage of your phone’s wellbeing tools. Set a time limit for these apps, so they get blocked when you hit that. Make your phone work for you, not against you. Another important note is to not schedule this time right before sleeping. Blue light disturbs your sleeping schedule, but it is likely even more serious than you’re aware of it. Studies have shown that bedtime screen use is associated with later sleep onset, shorter sleep, and poorer sleep quality. It can result in a 33% higher chance of poor sleep quality. And it’s not a secret that poor sleep affects both our physical and mental health. 4. Target the cause, not only the symptoms If we only treat the symptom — the compulsive behaviour of grabbing the phone — it’s likely to flare up again from time to time. To have a long-lasting effect, we want to make sure that we understand the root cause. Because doomscrolling is often just an autopilot coping strategy - and not a good one, as we already discussed. So we have to find different, better, strategies. And these depend on the root cause. So ask yourself right now, or anytime you mindlessly grab the phone: why are you reaching for it? It’s most likely one of the following: you’re bored, tired, or overwhelmed. Depending on your answer, your preferred strategy might differ. When you’re bored or tired: Find other activities to fill your time with and fuel you up. Keep in mind that not every activity needs to be productive - especially when we are tired. We often grab the phone when we’re tired because we lack the energy to do something productive, so we start to scroll just until we’re ready again, and we fall into a guilt-spiral because it actually just depletes our energy reserves even more. We forgot that we can do activities just out of pure joy. So make sure to find things that you can do to fill your cup - or in our case, empty the glass. When you’re overwhelmed: Make yourself clear that grabbing the phone is just delaying the process and you’re piling up the stress. Instead, stop. Take a deep breath. Get clear on what is triggering that overwhelm. Get these thoughts out of your head (go for a walk, journal, talk into your notes app). Most importantly: don’t distract your brain. Let your brain process. 5. Your bucketlist is here to live it I’m going to repeat myself: Imagine all the free time you get when you finally stop spending all your lifetime with your phone. What skill have you always wanted to learn but never had the time for? How did you picture your leisure time — yet when you finally put the phone away, all you wanted was sleep? Because what you’ve really achieved is this: You’re no longer living for your phone, but for yourself. Now, go and fill your life with all the amazing stuff that was always just there sitting on your bucket list, waiting for you to be ready. My friend, thank you so much for reading until the end. I hope you found value in here, and maybe it was even that turning point for you to reclaim your time. Because before we can fill our life with the things we truly want, we first have to make space and time for them. I’d love to know your thoughts on this, so leave a comment or hit reply. If these conversations hit home, make sure to subscribe to get access to the weekly episodes and the occasional Letters of Lexie. Know that you’re not alone - we’re getting off autopilot together, building the intentional life our way, true to us. Lots of love to you, my friend Lexie. Further scientific reads: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9580444/ [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9580444/] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S245195882400071X [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S245195882400071X] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10074257/ [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10074257/] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6314044/ [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6314044/] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1389945724003186 [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1389945724003186] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11950897/ [https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11950897/] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39226046/ [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39226046/] This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lexieschoices.substack.com/subscribe [https://lexieschoices.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_2]