Sex Tells

Love Through Transition: Transgender Identity, Intimacy & Partnership | With Alexis & Liam Blake

Welcome back to Sex Tells. In this episode, Lucy Frank sits down with Alexis , a transgender woman, and her husband Liam for an intimate and honest conversation about love, identity, and partnership through the journey of gender transition. Together, they share how they first connected on Hinge during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, building a deep emotional bond despite the challenges of lockdown and distance. As their relationship grew, Alexis made the courageous decision to come out to Liam, a pivotal moment that ultimately strengthened their connection and commitment to one another. How do couples navigate identity, change, and uncertainty within a relationship? Alexis and Liam reflect on the emotional and practical realities of transition, from the financial pressures of gender-affirming healthcare to experiences of grief, family dynamics, and shifting identities. They speak candidly about managing anxiety in public spaces, facing discrimination, and navigating the world as a visibly transgender couple, highlighting the resilience required to move through these challenges together. What supports a relationship through such profound change? The conversation explores the importance of open communication, couples therapy, and mutual care. Alexis and Liam share how vulnerability, honesty, and a shared commitment to growth have helped them sustain and deepen their relationship. They emphasise creating space for difficult conversations, holding empathy for one another’s experiences, and building a strong support network of friends and allies.How can visibility and advocacy create change? Now recognised as award-winning influencers and ambassadors for LGBTQ+ charities, Alexis and Liam discuss their work in raising awareness and challenging harmful narratives. Through social media, education, and community outreach, they aim to humanise transgender experiences and foster understanding in a world often shaped by misinformation. Their story highlights the power of representation, resilience, and leading with authenticity.So, as you reflect on this conversation, ask yourself: How can you better support the people in your life through change and identity, and what role can empathy, openness, and understanding play in building stronger, more inclusive relationships? Connect & Learn More Learn More Explore Lucy’s therapy services, retreats, workshops, and resources: https://theyxologist.co.uk [https://theyxologist.co.uk/] Stay Social Follow for updates, insights, and behind-the-scenes perspectives: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theyxologist/ [https://www.instagram.com/theyxologist/] @theyxologist Get in Touch For session bookings, media enquiries, and collaborations: Email: info@theyxologist.co.uk Contact Form: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/ [https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/] Work With Lucy Lucy provides tailored psychosexual and relationship therapy, both online and in person, in Central, East, South West London, and Brighton. She also leads retreats and workshops on intimacy, desire, and navigating life changes like childlessness, infidelity, illness, and shifting relationship dynamics. Find out more and book via the contact page: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/ [https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/]

Sex & Ageing - Who Says Desire Has An Expiry Date? I With Julie Sale

An eye-opening conversation about sex and aging that challenges society’s most limiting myths. Many of us grow up with the idea that sex declines after 40 or 50—that desire is linked solely to youth and reproductive capability. But the reality is far more complex.  What if desire didn’t expire with youth? Or if ageing bodies could be celebrated instead of fixed? Julie Sale, a COSRT-accredited sex and relationship psychotherapist and director of the Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology, reveals how cultural narratives around age, gender, and sexuality deeply influence how we experience intimacy later in life. Her insights cut through shame and societal expectations, opening a new view on vitality, pleasure, and human connection at any age. Julie shares surprising findings: desire can increase at various life stages, and ageism often erases the rich, diverse experiences of sexuality in older adults. We break down the myth that ageing diminishes intimacy, and instead, explore how to cultivate pleasure, confidence, and authenticity regardless of societal pressures. We dive into key topics such as hormonal changes and their surprising impact on desire, the shame around biological ageing—like needing lubricants or dealing with erectile challenges—and the ways societal scripts distort our view of what’s “appropriate” for older bodies. Julie discusses how cultural standards influence both men’s and women’s self-perception, and the impact of internalised ageism on intimacy. Plus, insights into how LGBTQ+ and trans communities experience sexual ageing differently, and the importance of dispelling myths around relationships, desirability, and gender norms. Why does this matter? Because unexamined beliefs about ageing and sex can lead to invisibility, loneliness, and even health risks. Recognising these narratives opens the door to liberation—an opportunity to redefine what intimacy and pleasure mean at every stage of life.  This episode invites you to challenge assumptions, embrace your evolving sexuality, and find joy beyond societal expectations. Perfect for anyone navigating the complexities of ageing, sexuality, or relationship dynamics. Whether you’re in your 40s, 50s, or beyond, this conversation will inspire a new perspective—one that celebrates human capacity for connection, pleasure, and self-acceptance at every age. Learn More Explore Lucy’s therapy services, retreats, workshops, and resources:  https://theyxologist.co.uk/ Stay Social Follow for updates, insights, and behind-the-scenes perspectives: Instagram: @theyxologist  Get in Touch For session bookings, media enquiries, and collaborations: Email: info@theyxologist.co.uk Contact Form: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/ Work With Lucy Lucy provides tailored psychosexual and relationship therapy, both online and in person, in Central, East, South West London, and Brighton. She also leads retreats and workshops on intimacy, desire, and navigating life changes like childlessness, infidelity, illness, and shifting relationship dynamics. Find out more and book via the contact page: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/

Stress, Shame, & Sexual Connection: How Anxiety Impacts Intimacy | With Kate Moyle

Welcome back to Sex Tells, in this episode Lucy Frank is joined by psychosexual and relationship therapist Kate Moyle to explore how anxiety impacts intimacy, both sexual and relational. Together, they unpack how anxiety can subtly, yet profoundly, affect desire, arousal, emotional connection, and the overall quality of relationships. Drawing on real-life examples and therapeutic insights, Lucy and Kate show how anxiety often underlies many challenges people experience in their sexual lives. How does anxiety shape desire, arousal, and intimacy? Lucy and Kate explore how anxious thoughts and feelings can disrupt natural sexual connection, creating cycles of worry, self-doubt, and avoidance. They discuss how these patterns may contribute to common sexual difficulties (such as low libido, erectile issues, or challenges with orgasm) highlighting that many sexual struggles are rooted in psychological, rather than purely physical, causes. What practical strategies can help individuals and couples navigate anxiety in their sexual relationships? The conversation moves into evidence-based therapeutic approaches, including sensate focus exercises, exposure techniques, and mindful touch. The two explain how these strategies can help partners rebuild comfort, trust, and presence, fostering open communication and a focus on pleasure rather than performance. They emphasise the importance of creating safe spaces where fears and vulnerabilities can be shared without judgment. How do societal pressures and sexual myths fuel anxiety, and how can we challenge them? Lucy and Kate discuss the impact of unrealistic expectations and harmful sexual scripts, stressing the value of normalising sexual struggles and breaking down shame. They encourage listeners to seek support, whether through therapy, books, or community, and to cultivate curiosity and compassion for themselves and their partners. By addressing both internal and external pressures, individuals and couples can reduce anxiety and build deeper, more fulfilling intimacy. So, as you reflect this conversation, ask yourself: How might anxiety be shaping your sexual and relational experiences, and what small steps could you take to create more safety, connection, and pleasure in your relationships? Connect & Learn More Learn More Explore Lucy’s therapy services, retreats, workshops, and resources: https://theyxologist.co.uk [https://theyxologist.co.uk/] Stay Social Follow for updates, insights, and behind-the-scenes perspectives: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theyxologist/ [https://www.instagram.com/theyxologist/] @theyxologist  Get in Touch For session bookings, media enquiries, and collaborations: Email: info@theyxologist.co.uk Contact Form: https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/ [https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/] Work With Lucy Lucy provides tailored psychosexual and relationship therapy, both online and in person, in Central, East, South West London, and Brighton. She also leads retreats and workshops on intimacy, desire, and navigating life changes like childlessness, infidelity, illness, and shifting relationship dynamics. Find out more and book via the contact page:  https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/ [https://theyxologist.co.uk/contact/]

Living Out Loud: Becoming Daviana and the World of D/S Dynamics

In this candid conversation, Daviana, a trans woman, powerlifter, and BDSM coach, shares her truth about gender, identity, and authentic self-expression. Discover how embracing vulnerability and living at your own pace can lead to genuine happiness and deeper self-understanding. She speaks about redefining masculinity and femininity beyond stereotypes and how this can transform your relationships and self-perception. Daviana shares her raw journey—from childhood curiosity and intense military discipline to bold transitions and flourishing authenticity—showing that true strength lies in honesty and self-acceptance. You'll discover: •⁠  ⁠The profound impact of therapy on aligning inner truths with external presentation •⁠  ⁠How societal myths about gender and power play hinder true understanding •⁠  ⁠Practical insights into safe, consensual BDSM, impact play, and the importance of aftercare •⁠  ⁠The role of community, friendship, and boundaries in a life lived fully and authentically •⁠  ⁠Why Daviana believes embracing your biology and history is central to genuine self-love This episode is perfect for anyone who look at gender through another lens.

Sex, Pain, Pleasure and the Pelvis I With Clare Bourne

Most people dismiss pelvic floor health as a mere pelvic or muscular issue, but the truth is far more complex.  In this eye-opening episode, pelvic physiotherapist Clare Bourne breaks down how pain, pleasure, and the mind-body connection intertwine to shape your sexual wellbeing for men, women and non-binary individuals. If you've ever experienced ongoing discomfort during intimacy, or wondered how your psychological state influences physical sensations, this episode will change how you view your body. Clare reveals the surprising role that muscle tension, emotional stress, trauma, and social factors play in pelvic pain—topics often overlooked by mainstream healthcare. You'll discover: how common conditions like vaginismus, vulvodynia, and postnatal trauma are tightly linked to both physical and psychological factors; why understanding your anatomy is the foundation of pleasure and pain management; and the powerful biopsychosocial model that guides holistic treatment. She shares concrete insights on assessments, treatment timelines, and the critical importance of collaboration between physiotherapists and psychosexual therapists. In this candid conversation, Clare emphasises the barriers that prevent many from seeking help—shame, lack of awareness, access issues—and how systemic gaps demand more inclusive, informed care. Her approach not only treats symptoms but empowers you with knowledge to reclaim your sexual health. Whether you're battling pain, desire discrepancies, or simply eager to understand your body better, this episode offers practical guidance and a new perspective on sexual wellness. Perfect for anyone tired of feeling isolated with pelvic discomfort or curiosity about how body, mind, and social influences shape pleasure. Tune in to learn why pain isn't just physical—it's a complex narrative your body is trying to tell. Take the first step toward a more connected, pleasurable life today. Guest Clare Bourne is a pelvic floor physiotherapist and author of Strong Foundations, with extensive experience supporting men, women, and the transgender community in understanding and healing pelvic health issues through a holistic lens.