The Borderline Besties

What If...?

Today we're asking the important hard-hitting questions: "What if there's no life after death?" "What if people were born old and died young?" "What if our buttcheeks had nipples?" Buckle up!

Our Aging Bodies

Batshit Banger: Abbey curated the perfect cart at Home Goods. What happens next you WON'T believe. Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…how getting older is affecting each of us. Our bones pop when we stand, we have turkey necks...it's not lookin' good folks. Dilemma: A woman's husband pooped his pants. She now wants nothing to do with him. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

The Lion, The Witch, & the Audacity

Batshit Banger: Lauren experienced the worst massage of her life. You won't believe what happened after. Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…the absolute audacity other people (and us!) have. We could totally plumb an entire house... Dilemma: A new boyfriend's breath is just too stinky. Listen in to hear the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Sweet Dreams & Spooky Nightmares

Batshit Banger: Michael watched someone get kicked out of a wedding last weekend... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Dreams! Bad ones, good ones, scary ones. Are dreams only in our mind or a portal to another dimension? Dilemma: Someone is super constipated and intelligently came to us for help. Listen in to hear the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Conspiracy Theories

Batshit Banger: Michael made a cake for a gathering and things went south fast... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…More conspiracies! Dilemma: A girl meets her future monster-in-law. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...