The Gay Relationship Podcast

What Queer People NEED to Know About HIV Today | Interview with Araya Baker

In this interview, Tom (he/him) interviews Araya (they/them), therapist, columnist, and social policy researcher about serodiscordant (mixed-status) relationships, HIV stigma, disclosure, intimacy, and the realities of living with HIV in 2026. Together they explore how HIV criminalization laws, discrimination, misinformation, and systemic barriers continue to impact queer relationships despite major medical advances such as U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable). Araya shares insights from their work with clients navigating mixed-status partnerships, discussing disclosure decisions, sexual anxiety, relationship conflict, family planning, financial stress, and the emotional impact of stigma. They also examine the lasting legacy of the AIDS epidemic, the parallels between HIV and COVID-related trauma, and why therapists need better training around sexuality, HIV, and queer mental health. Whether you're a mental health professional, LGBTQ+ community member, or anyone interested in relationship dynamics, this conversation offers a compassionate and evidence-informed look at one of the most misunderstood topics in sexual health. About Araya: Araya Baker, M.Phil.Ed., Ed.M. is a therapist, columnist, and social policy researcher. As a therapist, Araya supports individuals and couples navigating concerns around addiction, aging, cancer, disability, family estrangement, grief and trauma, life purpose and self-actualization, neurodivergence, prejudice and racism, relationships, reproductive health and family-building, and sexual health and HIV. For over a decade, Araya has leveraged writing to promote lifelong learning and democratize access to applied critical theory/social philosophy beyond academia. Their social commentary and public scholarship have been featured in The Washington Post, HuffPost, Psychology Today, Teen Vogue, EdPost, Vice, Buzzfeed, The New York Times, Essence Magazine, and myriad indie/regional outlets. Araya earned an Ed.M. in Human Development from Harvard as an Equity Fellow, an M.Phil.Ed. in Counseling from the University of Pennsylvania, where they received the Award for Excellence in Promoting Diversity & Inclusion, and a B.A. in English from Tufts, where they were a Tisch Scholar and engaged African & Caribbean literature, Black Arts Movement poetry, queer Black feminism, gospel music, Southern studies, and Swahili. Connect with Araya: Website: arayabaker.com [http://arayabaker.com] Instagram: @arayabaker YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@araya_baker [https://www.youtube.com/@araya_baker] Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5] Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards]

Why So Many Bi Men Stay Closeted | Interview with Robert Cohen

In this episode, Tom (he/him) interviews writer, comedian, coach, and Two Bi Guys host Robert Brooks Cohen (he/him) about bisexuality, late-life coming out, bi erasure, monogamy, shame, fluidity, and the hidden realities many bi men face. They discuss why only 15% of bi men are out, why bisexuality can feel threatening to rigid social norms, and how younger generations are redefining sexuality and gender. Robert also shares insights from coaching married bi men, navigating open relationships, supporting a partner through gender transition, and the idea of “queer second adolescence” later in life. The conversation also explores bisexual mental health, invisibility within LGBTQ+ spaces, queer hookup culture, Sniffies, and why it’s never too late to come out and live authentically. Whether you’re bi, questioning, queer, partnered, closeted, or simply curious about sexuality and identity, this episode offers an honest, funny, and deeply validating conversation about fluidity, authenticity, and connection. About Robert: Robert Cohen (he/him) is a life coach, content creator, podcast host -- "Two Bi Guys (By One Bi Guy)" -- author ("Bisexual Married Men: Stories of Relationships, Acceptance and Authenticity"), former TV writer, and stand-up comedian living in Los Angeles. Connect with Robert: Website: www.TwoBiGuys.com [http://www.TwoBiGuys.com] Life Coaching: www.robertbrookscohen.com [http://www.robertbrookscohen.com] Instagram: @robertbrookscohen TikTok: @robertbrookscohen YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@twobiguys [https://www.youtube.com/@twobiguys] Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5] Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards]

Kink, Shame & The Truth About “Sides” | Interview with Dr. Joe Kort

In this episode, psychotherapist and sexologist Dr. Joe Kort (he/him) joins Tom Bruett (he/him) for a candid conversation about queer sexuality, kink, shame, relationships, and identity. Dr. Joe Kort shares how his own experiences shaped his groundbreaking work with gay men, kinky clients, and sexually fluid people — including why he walked away from the “sex addiction” model and became one of the field’s most provocative voices. They explore the meaning behind the term “side,” the growing conversation around outercourse, how kink develops, why queer communities can sometimes police each other’s identities, and what therapists often get wrong about sexuality. Dr. Kort also opens up about his 33-year relationship, navigating neurodiversity in partnership, surviving the AIDS crisis, and the importance of creating more expansive definitions of sex, intimacy, and desire. This episode is an honest, funny, and deeply insightful conversation about authenticity, erotic identity, queer relationships, and breaking free from sexual shame. About Joe: Psychotherapist Joe Kort (he/him), PhD, LMSW, is the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist, author of four books, lecturer and facilitator of therapeutic workshops. Throughout his 40 years of private practice, he successfully has utilized varying therapy modalities to help hundreds of individuals and couples improve their lives and strengthen their relationships. Dr. Kort specializes in marital problems and conflicts; mixed orientation marriages; male sexuality and sexual health concerns; “sex addiction,” out-of-control sexual behaviors; sexual identity issues; childhood sexual abuse; LGBTQIA Affirmative Therapy; and Imago Relationship Therapy. He is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), a safe and effective treatment that can help patients who have suffered for years from anxiety, distressing memories, nightmares, insomnia, abuse or other traumatic events. Dr. Kort obtained his undergraduate degree from Michigan State University in East Lansing, Michigan, with a dual major in psychology and social work. He earned master’s degrees in social work and psychology from Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan, and a doctorate (PhD) in Clinical Sexology from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists. Connect with Joe: Website: https://joekort.com/ [https://joekort.com/] Group Practice: https://crsh.com/ [https://crsh.com/] YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/joekort [https://www.youtube.com/user/joekort] Podcast: Smart Sex, Smart Love with Dr Joe Kort [https://joekort.com/podcast/] Instagram: @drjoekort TikTok: @drjoekort Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5] Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards]

Why Intimacy Can Feel Impossible for Queer Men | Interview with Andrew Katsinas

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Andrew Katsinas (he/him), a queer sex and trauma therapist, for a wide-ranging conversation about queer male sexuality, emotional intimacy, shame, spirituality, and the hidden ways many LGBTQ+ people learn to disconnect from themselves during sex and relationships. Together, they explore topics like religious messaging, bisexual erasure, hookup culture, performance anxiety, consent, and the “second adolescence” many queer people experience after coming out. The conversation also examines why so many people feel pressure to perform during sex, how sexual scripts shape queer relationships, and the difference between spirituality and organized religion. Through an honest and nuanced discussion, Tom and Andrew unpack what authentic connection, pleasure, and self-understanding can look like for queer people navigating dating, identity, intimacy, and healing. Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards] About Andrew: Andrew Katsinas (he/him) LMFT, CST, is a queer sex and trauma therapist in West Los Angeles passionate about reclaiming pleasure, healing trauma, and expanding sex education. He is also a massive cinephile, globe trotter, and most importantly, a daddy to his corgi/babygirl Riley. Connect with Andrew: Website: www.andrewkatsinas.com [http://www.andrewkatsinas.com] Instagram: @akatsinasmft Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5]

How Religious Trauma Shapes Queer Dating & Mental Health | Interview with Kit Morgan

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Kit Morgan (he/they), a queer and trans religious trauma-informed educator, licensed clinical social worker, and therapist. Together, they explore how religious trauma continues to shape queer and trans lives long after leaving faith communities. From purity culture and internalized shame to the ways stigma around mental health keeps people stuck, Kit unpacks how belief systems can quietly influence identity, relationships, and self-worth in ways many people don’t even realize. They dive into the difference between conflict and abuse in religious families, how “Midwest nice” can mask deeper harm, and why so many people struggle to name their experiences as trauma. The conversation also examines how these early messages show up in dating, attraction, and desire, along with what therapists and allies often get wrong when supporting queer and trans clients. If you’ve ever felt like you left religion but it didn’t fully leave you, this episode offers language, insight, and a path toward understanding what’s still lingering beneath the surface. Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards [https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards] About Kit: Kit Morgan is a queer and trans religious trauma informed educator, licensed clinical social worker, and therapist, working with clients in New York, Virginia, and Indiana. Kit’s work began with advocacy and research for people at high risk of incarceration. From Kit’s background of growing up in the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist and Southern Baptist denominations during his girlhood years, Kit noticed how institutionalization, including the institution of religion, impacts the way people relate to their gender and sexuality. This inspired Kit to study Christian Counseling, the science of psychology, and social work in their time at university. Kit focuses their work on liberation from shame induced by institutionalization impacting people’s relationship to their queerness. Connect with Kit: Website: www.theliberatedporch.com [http://www.theliberatedporch.com] TikTok: @theliberatedporch Instagram: @theliberatedporch Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com [http://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com] Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5 [https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5]