The Widow's Collective

EPISODE 34: “The Pressure To Do Grief ‘Right’"

So many grieving women quietly carry the pressure to do widowhood “correctly.” To cope correctly. To heal correctly. To move forward correctly. To parent correctly. To honor their person correctly. But grief is not a performance. And widowhood is not something you master perfectly. In this episode, we explore the invisible expectations many widows carry after the death of a spouse — the pressure to stay strong, stay productive, appear functional, and somehow navigate profound loss in a way that feels acceptable to both themselves and the outside world. We discuss: • Why so many grieving people monitor and judge themselves after loss • How conditioning around emotions and productivity impacts widowhood • The nervous system’s search for safety after trauma and uncertainty • Why grief feels so contradictory and emotionally unpredictable • The hidden exhaustion behind “high functioning” grief • The quiet ways comparison and self-measurement show up in widowhood • Why functioning does not mean someone is okay • The difference between survival mode and healing • Why grief resurfaces in waves — even years later • Releasing the pressure to carry grief perfectly This episode is a reminder that there is no gold star for grieving “well.” There is no perfect timeline. No perfectly measured way to heal. No flawless way to carry profound loss. There is only your way. And maybe part of healing is learning how to meet yourself with more gentleness while living inside a life that changed everything. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another widow who may need this reminder today. With love, Lauren To Connect With Me Follow along on Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends For More Information About Support Head over to: LaurenLentz.com [https://www.laurenlentz.com/] Or Book a free Discovery Call by emailing me: lauren@imsorrywerefriends.com

EPISODE 33: “The Parts of You That Existed With Him” (Identity Loss After the Death of a Spouse — Part 3)

In this final episode of the identity loss series, we explore one of the most tender and complicated parts of grief after the death of a partner: The experience of feeling like certain parts of you only existed because they did… while also slowly realizing that there are still parts of you that remain. This conversation moves into the layered complexity of relational identity, nervous system connection, emotional safety, and the internal conflict many widows experience when they begin noticing themselves still “here” after profound loss. Together, we unpack: *  Why certain relationships bring specific versions of us forward  *  The grief of losing not only your person, but the version of yourself that existed alongside them  *  Why it can feel confronting when others say “you’re still in there”  *  The difference between the relationally-activated self and the core self  *  Why identity disruption after loss can feel like an identity rupture  *  The emotional tension of holding contradictory truths at the same time  *  What it means to re-encounter yourself over time  *  How identity reorganizes through grief  *  Becoming without erasing the person you were with your partner  This episode is not about “finding yourself again.” It’s about learning how to stay in relationship with yourself through the complexity of grief, change, memory, love, and becoming. If this episode brought something up for you, please know there is nothing you need to resolve quickly. You are allowed to grieve what was shaped in love… while also allowing space for what is still unfolding inside of you. Big Hugs and Lots of Love, Lauren Connect with Me Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends  1:1 Coaching + Programs: laurenlentz.com [https://www.laurenlentz.com/] To schedule a Discovery Call, email me at lauren@imsorrywerefriends.com

BONUS EPISODE: Mother's Day In The After

Mother’s Day after the death of a spouse is not a simple day. It is layered. It is emotional. It is often holding multiple truths at once. In this bonus episode, we talk about what it actually means to move through Mother’s Day as a widow and a mother — where love and grief are not separate experiences, but happening side by side. We explore: *  The emotional complexity of Mother’s Day after loss  *  Why this day can feel both tender and heavy at the same time  *  The missing presence of the person who once witnessed and celebrated your motherhood  *  How grief reshapes identity and capacity in motherhood  *  The lived reality of becoming both mother and father after loss  *  The exhaustion of holding emotional, mental, and logistical responsibility alone  *  The desire to retreat from a day that feels overwhelming  *  What it can feel like to show up for your children while in survival *  The guilt and fear that can surface around “not being enough” as a mother in grief  *  Why attachment, repair, and presence matter more than perfection  *  Permission to let Mother’s Day be what it actually is this year, without forcing it into something it’s not  This episode is not about doing Mother’s Day “right.” It’s about naming what it actually feels like when you are mothering inside profound loss, and offering space for all of it to exist without judgment. If this resonates, you can share it with someone who may need it, or leave a review to help this work reach more grieving widowed mothers who are walking through something similar. Thank you for being here. Love, Lauren

Episode 32: “There Is No Going Back to Normal” (Identity Loss After the Death of a Spouse — Part 2)

In this episode, we take a deeper look at what it actually means to live inside identity loss after the death of a spouse. Because while grief is often talked about in terms of emotion—what you feel, how you process, how you “move through it”—there is another layer that doesn’t get named as often. The internal shift. The part where you don’t quite recognize yourself. Where the way you think, respond, decide, and move through the world feels different. Where the version of you that once felt familiar… no longer feels fully accessible. And at the same time, the outside world hasn’t necessarily adjusted to that change. So this episode explores the tension that can exist between those two realities. We talk about: * Why the idea of “going back to normal” doesn’t actually apply after this kind of loss * How the expectation to return to a familiar version of yourself can create internal pressure * What it can feel like to “fake it” or wear a mask in everyday interactions * The subtle ways you may be adjusting yourself just to make connection feel possible * How grief can begin to impact your relationships—not because you don’t care, but because your internal world has changed * The experience of social disconnection and the kind of loneliness that can exist even when you’re not physically alone * Why well-meaning support can sometimes feel misaligned or hard to receive * The reality that not all relationships will shift in the same way—and what that means * Why “normal” can feel out of reach, not because you’re doing something wrong, but because the structure that created it is no longer there If you found yourself in this conversation—if parts of this felt familiar or hard in a way you couldn’t quite name before—you are not alone in that. If this episode resonated, you can share it with someone who may need it, or leave a review so this space can reach more women who are walking through something similar. I’m really glad you’re here. Ways to Connect & Continue the Work: If you’re looking for support as you navigate your grief, there are a few ways we can stay connected. Instagram: @imsorrywerefriends Website: www.laurenlentz.com [https://www.laurenlentz.com/] Email: lauren@imsorrywerefriends.com On my website, you’ll find more information about my current offerings, including 1:1 grief coaching and group support containers designed specifically for women navigating the loss of a partner. These spaces are not about rushing your grief or trying to move you “forward” before you’re ready. They are about creating room for what’s actually here, and supporting you as you begin to understand and live inside a life that has fundamentally changed.

Episode 31: “A Piece of Me Died When He Did” (Identity Loss After the Death of a Spouse — Part 1)

In this first episode of the series, we’re exploring something that many widows quietly recognize but rarely have space to fully unpack: The experience of identity loss after the death of a spouse. Not just grief in the emotional sense, but the deeper internal experience of no longer recognizing yourself inside your own life. We talk about why identity rupture is not separate from grief, but part of it. How identity is shaped in relationship. What happens when the relational system you were living inside suddenly disappears. And why the nervous system, roles, and sense of self all begin to shift at the same time. For many widows, this shows up as:  “I don’t know who I am anymore.”  “I don’t recognize myself.”  “A piece of me died when he did.” This episode is about slowing all of that down and naming what is actually happening beneath the surface — not to soften it, but to better understand it. Because when we can understand what’s happening inside of us, we can stop feeling so alone in it. Work With Me / Stay Connected If this resonated with you, I would love a "like," review, or share. All ways to extend the reach of my podcast to those who need to hear it.  Stay connected: Learn more about my grief support offerings  → [laurenlentz.com [https://www.laurenlentz.com/]] Follow along for daily grief reflections Instagram: [@imsorrywerefriends]