The Nurse I Would Be If I Had the Time — NICU Doulas Bridging the Humanity Gap | Mary Farrelly

The Nurse I Would Be If I Had the Time — NICU Doulas Bridging the Humanity Gap | Mary Farrelly

The Teaser: What happens when nurses know exactly what families need—but aren't given the time, resources, or system to provide it? It burns. In this episode of The 33 And Up Club, I sit down with Mary Farrelly, BSN, RNC-NIC—NICU nurse, founder of NICU Doula Academy, and host of The NICU Translated Podcast—to explore a question this question. NICU nurses are trained to deliver exceptional clinical care. But what happens when families need emotional care, practical support, and someone to help them process trauma—and the people most equipped to help are already stretched impossibly thin? What if taking care of a family's non medical needs - their emotional well being - was never meant to be a nurses job. What if I didn't have to end every shift soul deep sick with the knowledge that I can never do enough ... If you've ever felt the moral distress of knowing what a family needed while simultaneously juggling alarms, charting, short staffing and impossible expectations— this episode is for you. This conversation is not about asking nurses to do more. It is about asking: What if nurses were never meant to carry all of this alone? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Details: In this episode, Mary Farrelly of NICU Doula Academy joins me for a conversation about nursing burnout, moral distress, and the humanity gap that exists between what families need and what healthcare systems are designed to provide. Mary shares her journey from NICU nurse and educator to founder of NICU Doula Academy, Together we explore: ✓ moral distress and emotional labor and compassion fatigue ✓ customer service nursing ✓ fight / flight responses and family behavior in crisis ✓ communication and helping families process information ✓ end-of-life care and ethical complexity ✓ why “difficult families” may be traumatized families ✓ nursing culture (eating their young) translating to patient outcomes ✓ collaboration versus competition in healthcare ✓ and how supporting families may also support nurses. ✓ what NICU doulas actually do ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Guest: Mary Farrelly BSN, RNC-NIC Founder of The NICU Doula Academy | Host of he NICU Translated Podcast Mary Farrelly, BSN, RNC-NIC is a NICU nurse, educator, and founder of NICU Doula Academy, where she trains doulas and clinicians to better support NICU families through trauma-informed, collaborative, and emotionally supportive care. Recognizing the emotional and practical gaps that often exist in neonatal care, Mary developed NICU Doula Academy to help bridge the space between clinical excellence and human connection—supporting both families and the healthcare teams caring for them. CONNECT WITH MARY Instagram: @nicudoulaacademy Podcast: @thenicutranslatedpodcast Website + Training: TheNICUtranslator.com [http://TheNICUtranslator.com] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Next: If this episode resonated with you, please follow, rate, and share The 33 & Up Club. If you're a NICU professional - go sit at Mary's feet and bask in her light.

Weekly Podcast Digest No. 3

Shows Referenced in this weeks Weekly Podcast Digest 🎬 The Nightmare Upstairs: What Happened to Ty and Bryn Available on Hulu Trigger warning: child abuse. A deeply difficult but compelling documentary exploring alleged child abuse, custody conflict, and family trauma. This viewing came with full emotional hazard lights on, but felt important and incredibly well produced despite being hard to sit through. Topics explored: ✨ child abuse ✨ family trauma ✨ custody systems ✨ documentary storytelling ✨ difficult media Watch: Hulu https://www.hulu.com/ [https://www.hulu.com/] 🎧 The Raw and The Cooked Episode 213 “Micro Habits: The Tiny Behaviors That Hold Your Home Together” An unexpectedly practical pivot into home management and domestic systems. This podcast focuses on home life organization, routines, and creating sustainable systems that support everyday life without requiring perfection or Pinterest-level executive functioning. The featured episode breaks down small, repeatable household behaviors and frames them through the lens of habit-building and realistic home management. Equal parts helpful and mildly humbling. Topics explored: ✨ home management ✨ domestic systems ✨ routines ✨ micro habits ✨ sustainable structure ✨ realistic habit building 📚 Book Mentioned Atomic Habits — James Clear Referenced throughout the conversation around micro habits and creating manageable systems that work in real life. A reminder that meaningful change often happens through small, repeatable actions—not dramatic overnight reinventions. Connect: Show Website: https://daraboxer.com/category/family-rhythms/ [https://daraboxer.com/category/family-rhythms/] 🎧 NICU Heroes Podcast Season 7, Episode 51 “When Birth Doesn’t Go as Planned: A Doula-Informed Approach to Trauma” Back on the doula train. This episode explores birth trauma, trauma-informed care, and emotional support during difficult birth and NICU experiences. The conversation resonated deeply—particularly around the emotional realities families face when birth becomes medicalized or complicated. Topics explored: ✨ birth trauma ✨ NICU experiences ✨ trauma-informed care ✨ doulas ✨ emotional labor in healthcare ✨ moral injury ✨ compassionate care inside broken systems Connect: Hand to Hold / NICU Heroes Podcast https://handtohold.org/nicu-heroes-podcast/ [https://handtohold.org/nicu-heroes-podcast/] 👩‍⚕️ Creator Mentioned Mary Farrelly The NICU Translator Connect: The NICU Translator https://thenicutranslator.com/ [https://thenicutranslator.com/] Instagram: @thenicutranslator

Weekly Podcast Digest No. 2

Podcasts & Media Mentioned This week’s podcast lineup started with laughter and somehow—against all odds—ended in healthcare existentialism. We began with funny motherhood chaos, detoured through neonatal science and continuing education, and eventually landed in difficult but important conversations about NICU systems, home nursing, and what families carry long after discharge. 🎧 We Don’t Have Time For This Episode: “I Need a New Podcast” Two moms. Two best friends. Absolute chaos. This episode is a trailer for the podcast itself, offering snippets of old episodes. It feels like sitting with your funniest friends while everyone collectively tries to survive motherhood (with varying degrees of dignity). Topics explored: ✨ motherhood ✨ friendship ✨ humor ✨ emotional honesty ✨ domestic chaos ✨ “laugh so you don’t cry” energy Connect: Podcast: We Don’t Have Time For This Instagram: @wedonthavetimetforthis 🎧 NICU Heroes Podcast Episode: “Inside the Premie Microbiome” Guest: Rena Sanghavi A fascinating deep dive into neonatal microbiomes, immunity, and neonatal health. One particularly memorable takeaway: breast milk regurgitation may actually protective? Also: Hand to Hold podcasts qualify for one hour of continuing nursing education, Topics explored: ✨ neonatal microbiome ✨ breast milk & immunity ✨ neonatal science ✨ continuing education ✨ NICU learning Connect: Hand to Hold / NICU Heroes Podcast https://handtohold.org/nicu-heroes-podcast/ [https://handtohold.org/nicu-heroes-podcast/] 🎧 NICU Heroes Podcast Hosted by Hand to Hold Episode: “Saving Two Lives in the NICU” Guest: Neel Shah This one comes with a warning. A difficult but important listen for anyone working inside—or connected to—the NICU world. Dr. Shah approaches NICU care through systems, outcomes, and large-scale healthcare data, and while the conversation may initially provoke defensiveness for people working inside these spaces, it ultimately raises difficult questions about how well-intentioned providers operate within imperfect systems. Not easy. Topics explored: ✨ NICU systems ✨ healthcare outcomes ✨ maternal & neonatal care ✨ systemic limitations ✨ moral discomfort ✨ healthcare reform conversations Connect: Hand to Hold https://handtohold.org/ [https://handtohold.org/] 🎧 KevinMD Podcast Episode (May 8): “No Nurse Is Better Than a Good Nurse” This episode was… hard. Featuring the perspective of a mother caring for a medically complex child after NICU discharge, the conversation explores private-duty nursing, home healthcare realities, and the emotional and logistical burdens families face once hospital support disappears. The discussion includes difficult stories and challenged assumptions about continuity of care, nursing capability across settings, and what it means to care for medically fragile children at home. Particularly impactful was the reminder that discharge is not the end of the story. For many families, it is only the beginning. Topics explored: ✨ medically complex children ✨ home nursing ✨ tracheostomy care ✨ caregiver burden ✨ post-NICU life ✨ empathy & healthcare perspective Connect: KevinMD https://www.kevinmd.com/ [https://www.kevinmd.com/]

When Medicine Forgets the Person: Fertility, Grief & Bodily Intuition | Jess Tims

The Teaser: What happens when medicine treats the body—but forgets the person? In this episode of The 33 And Up Club, I sit down with Jess Tims—fertility doula, founder of HER Fertility Support, educator, and podcast host—for a conversation about healing, grief, and what it means to truly support someone through medical trauma. Because fertility journeys, pregnancy loss, and reproductive care are often approached as biological problems to solve. And yes—biology matters. Medicine matters. But what happens when excellent medical care still leaves someone feeling frightened, disconnected, and profoundly alone? This conversation is not anti-medicine. It is about the bridge. The space between excellent medical care and emotional care—and why we need both. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Details: Jess brings a uniquely compassionate perspective as a doula, energy healer, and somatic practitioner. Her practice: ✨bridges medical care and emotional support ✨ honors both the science and the lived experience This conversation reminded me that healthy and healed are not always the same thing. If you've ever felt dismissed, overwhelmed and disconnected from your body If you've ever felt like the emotional side of your experience mattered less than the medical outcome— this episode is for you. Together we explore: ✨ infertility, pregnancy loss, maternal mental health ✨ emotional processing and nervous system awareness ✨ how stress and grief manifest in the body ✨ body literacy and intuition ✨ patient advocacy and communication ✨ why emotions need somewhere to go ✨ and how reconnecting with ourselves may be one of the most powerful forms of care ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Guest: ABOUT JESS TIMS Fertility Doula • Educator • Founder, HER Fertility Support ✨American Society for Reproductive Medicine certified Fertility Doula, ✨Reiki Master ✨literal master communicator (she holds a masters in communications). After her own experience with infertility and motherhood, Jess created the support she wished she had: HER Fertility Support. She uses energy work, subconscious healing, and somatic practice as the layer of support that medicine was never designed to provide. Through HER Fertility Support, Jess offers: • one on one client support • fertility doula certification • free podcast content • bicoastal fertility support groups • free masterclass CONNECT WITH JESS: Socials @herfertilitysupport Website: Her.FertilitySupport Podcast: HER Fertility Podcast -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Next: If this episode resonated with you, please follow, rate, and share The 33 & Up Club. And if your body has been asking for your attention—start listening.

Weekly Podcast Digest No.1

Podcasts & Media Mentioned This week’s listening list explored caregiver burnout, women in medicine, NICU emotional care, and the uncomfortable reality that trauma doesn’t always stay politely contained in the brain. 🎧 NICU Heroes Podcast Season 7, Episode 48 “Supporting the Caregiver: Burnout, Mentorships & Career Longevity” Hosted by Hand to Hold Guest: Dr. Mona Amin (PedsDocTalk) A thoughtful conversation about caregiver burnout, career sustainability, mentorship, and the myth of traditional work-life balance—especially for women in medicine. Topics explored: ✨ burnout & caregiver fatigue ✨ whole-life integration vs “balance” ✨ medicine, motherhood & identity ✨ career longevity ✨ creating healthcare systems that acknowledge real human lives Connect: Hand to Hold / NICU Heroes Podcast https://handtohold.org/nicu-heroes-podcast/ [https://handtohold.org/nicu-heroes-podcast/] Dr. Mona Amin / PedsDocTalk Instagram: @pedsdoctalk https://pedsdoctalk.com/ [https://pedsdoctalk.com/] 🎧 The NICU Translated Podcast Season 1 Finale “Rehumanizing the NICU” Hosted by Mary Farrelly This episode explores emotional support in NICU spaces, trauma-informed care, and the gap between what healthcare workers wish they could provide and what hospital systems realistically allow. Mary discusses the emotional burden placed on nurses and providers and advocates for trauma-informed support—including the growing role of NICU doulas. Topics explored: ✨ NICU trauma ✨ emotional support gaps ✨ trauma-informed care ✨ healthcare moral injury ✨ “rehumanizing” NICU experiences ✨ NICU doulas Connect: The NICU Translator https://thenicutranslator.com/ [https://thenicutranslator.com/] Instagram: @thenicutranslator 🎧 Call Her Daddy Kesha Interview “Serve C-U-N-T and Prevail” Hosted by Alex Cooper Guest: Kesha Not remotely healthcare-related… until unexpectedly it was. A surprisingly thoughtful conversation about trauma, healing, identity, and how difficult experiences can continue living in the body long after the crisis itself has passed. Topics explored: ✨ trauma & the nervous system ✨ embodied stress ✨ healing ✨ identity & recovery ✨ the body keeping score Connect: https://www.callherdaddy.com/ [https://www.callherdaddy.com/] Instagram: @callherdaddy @alexandracooper @kesha 📚 Book Mentioned Atomic Habits — James Clear Referenced through conversations about micro habits, sustainable change, and building systems that support real life instead of perfection. Connect: https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits [https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits] The Takeaway Healthcare workers are expected to care deeply inside systems that often leave little room for humanity. This week’s listening explored caregiver burnout, emotional labor, NICU humanity, and one inconvenient truth: the body keeps score whether we acknowledge it or not.