My Toaster Needs Instructions… and I’m Not Okay With That

How to Accomplish Nothing While Being Constantly Busy

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/fan_mail/new] Some people wake up, focus for eight uninterrupted hours, crush their goals, optimize their workflow, and become millionaires by age 25. I hear footsteps upstairs and immediately abandon my entire personality. In this episode, I talk about trying to create while living in a constant state of distraction, anxiety, responsibility, codependency, household chaos, barking dogs, crowing chickens, buzzing dryers, and the overwhelming feeling that every tiny noise in the house requires immediate investigation. Also: *  why productivity gurus terrify me,  *  why every task somehow becomes life-or-death,  *  why perfectionism makes simple things impossible,  *  and why adult nap time should absolutely be mandatory.  This may be the most honest episode I’ve recorded yet. Or maybe I’m just tired. Hard to say anymore. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/support]

My Toaster Needs Instructions… and I’m Not Okay With That

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/fan_mail/new] It started with a toaster. A simple, innocent appliance whose only job used to be: bread goes in, toast comes out. But not anymore. In this episode, I spiral (gracefully… mostly) into the modern insanity of “smart” everything. What used to require one button now demands decisions, settings, updates, and—at one point—reading the manual… for a toaster. A toaster. From there, things only get worse. We take a walk down memory lane to a time when: *  TVs had knobs instead of software updates  *  Cars didn’t beep, blink, and emotionally judge your driving  *  Phones stayed in one place and didn’t double as a space shuttle control panel  *  Computers didn’t collapse into useless bricks the second Wi-Fi sneezed  Somewhere along the way, simple became complicated… and “advanced” started feeling a lot like “annoying.” This episode is a humorous rant about modern technology, everyday frustration, and the quiet suspicion that maybe… just maybe… we’ve made everything way harder than it needs to be. Also:  If the power ever goes out, we’re all standing around like confused squirrels. Enjoy. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/support]

We Moved to the Country… It Tried to Kill Me (Multiple Times)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/fan_mail/new] We moved to the country chasing the dream: land, peace, maybe a few chickens… and possibly a holy, wholesome life. What we got instead? Heat exhaustion, ER visits, falling off ladders, tractor accidents, lawsuits, dead chickens, and a strong suspicion that the property itself is cursed. In this episode of Diary of a Crappy Catholic, I share what really happens when a suburban guy tries to become a homesteader in the Carolina heat… while juggling family struggles, unexpected chaos, and the slow realization that maybe—just maybe—this wasn’t my spiritual calling. Turns out, the “simple life” isn’t simple. It’s just… louder. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/support]

God Understands (And Other Lies Catholics Tell Themselves)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/fan_mail/new] In this episode, I unpack how we casually ghost God while insisting we love Him — and why we’d never tolerate that behavior from a spouse, friend, or child. Topics include: • Treating God like the nerd in every 80s movie • Sunday shopping theology • Advent guilt • Why effort matters even when you’re bad at Catholicism • And how being a crappy Catholic still means actually trying Spoiler: God understands… but that doesn’t mean we should stop caring. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/support]

Why NFL Fans Have More Zeal Than Catholics (And Yes… I’m Calling Us Out)

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/fan_mail/new] Why is it that the guy at the football stadium will take his shirt off, paint his chest, scream like a lunatic for four hours… but we Catholics can barely stay awake for a 55-minute Mass where JESUS CHRIST is literally present? Yeah. I’m calling us out. And I’m calling myself out.  Because for years I treated Catholicism like a spiritual DMV appointment—get in, get my hour, get out. In this video, I dive into:  🏈 Why sports fans have more zeal than most Catholics  📚 How decades of awful catechesis left many of us lukewarm  😬 Why so many of us grew up in Catholic homes that barely acted Catholic  🔥 Why knowing the faith is the ONLY way to fall in love with it  😑 How modern Catholic leadership often seems embarrassed to be… Catholic  💥 And why maybe God is calling ordinary “crappy Catholics” like us to actually become the heroes we wish we had If you’ve ever wondered why being Catholic sometimes feels like a chore… or why you’re not “on fire” the way the saints were… this one’s for you. No guilt trips. No theologian-speak.  Just a fellow Crappy Catholic trying to figure out how not to be so… crappy. Support the show [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413361/support]