Adulting with Autism
What happens when you're diagnosed with ADHD at 56—after a lifetime of dyslexia, chaos, big wins, big losses, and school trauma that taught you you'd never be "enough"? In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with John O'Shea, author of NeuroSpicy, about late diagnosis, anger and shame, the nervous system cost of being punished for learning differently, and how ADHD isn't a deficit of attention—it can be an overload of thoughts "like a V8 with no brakes." John shares how the end of his 32-year marriage pushed him into rock bottom—and why writing became a lifeline. He also explains why ADHD and dyslexia can be both a superpower and kryptonite, and what it takes to build resilience without staying trapped in failure as a "comfort blanket." In this episode, we cover: * What it feels like to get an ADHD diagnosis later in life (and why it mattered more to others than to John) * School trauma, humiliation, and why criticism can trigger rage in ADHD/dyslexic adults * Anger as armor: shame, rejection sensitivity, and emotional overflow * The "fast brain" experience: overload vs "attention deficit" * Why ADHD people can be scattered and intensely focused (hyperfocus) * The Hawaii customs story: literacy shame, humiliation, and consequences * Reframing neurodivergence: "we don't need fixing—we need understanding and tools" * What the education system should change (and John's plan for an ADHD/dyslexia empowerment course) * Imposter syndrome and "fake it till you make it" as a practical survival tool * Tools John uses to regulate: meditation, gym, sauna, grounding, and presence practices * Where to find the book and John's work Connect with John O'Shea: * Website / book: https://neurospicy.life [https://neurospicy.life] * Discount code: ABC25
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