AA Arsenal vs. Burnley

AA Arsenal vs. Brighton & Hove Albion

Brought to you by Clarence Thomas' best friend. Nervous energy at the Emirates, and the psychological impact from the loss against Crystal Palace cuts deeper than we may have first realized. Concerns exist around Arteta going full-on Trumpian again in his handling of interpersonal relationships, as The Curse of Djed Spence is well and truly upon us. Questions are asked about Albert Sambi Lokonga's future at the club. And, for those expecting a return of Nuno Tavares this season, don't hold your breath. Win, lose, or draw, we support the Arsenal, but even a scarecrow with no brain would have recognized the likely outcome of Arteta's gamble on Lacazette.

AA Arsenal vs. Brentford

Arsenal's kick-about with Brentford brought to you by WWIII. 43 crosses and the tea leaves reading DCL. John Moss waves the equivalent of the Blue Lives Matter flag for Premier League referees. Gabriel Magalhaes our Big Poppa. Xhaka is snubbed on the captaincy, and the Croydon Bobby Firmino sounds enticing.

AA Arsenal vs. Burnley

Brought to you by: Paramount Pictures Presents Short-Shorts and The Douche. Starring John Stockton and Aaron Rodgers. 34 crosses on the day and missing Big Bill Saliba. No justice for Gabriel Magalhães as refrains from simulation. Aaron Ramsdale looks to rediscover his form in the dunes of Dubai. Laca's lack of quality to put the game to bed. And finally, an ask of Arsenal World's bipolar fanbase to take their lithium, put on a retro adidas jacket, a pair of blue blockers, and grab a pint of their finest local brew while seeking perspective.

AA Arsenal vs. Liverpool (EFL Cup)

Brought to you by: The African Cup of Nations.  The only competition where the refs are worse than in England. Martin Ødegaard orchestrating like a footballing maestro.  Gabriel Martinelli struggles against TAA. Lacazette runs out of gas, again.  A call to give Martinelli minutes up top as a central striker.  Early elimination from the domestic cups is a pockmark on the campaign, and reflection on the importance of guaranteeing Europa League football for our youngsters next season.

AA Liverpool vs. Arsenal (EFL Cup)

Brought to you by Mugsmashers False-Positive Testing: A test for every league cup game. If Granit Xhaka had one leg and an eye-patch Mikel Arteta would still start him.  Flashpoints galvanize both teams in their recent encounters, but Arteta comes under scrutiny for his handling of the AFCON window. Bukayo Saka proves why there are clickbait stories linking him to Liverpool.  Arsenal's young guns pass a big time gut check in the belly of the beast.