Anatomy of Conflict
Money is the #2 cause of divorce — behind only infidelity — but unlike infidelity, it's quiet, chronic, and invisible until the damage is done. In this episode, Ryan gets personally real about his own tightwad tendencies, his marriage, and what a decade of financial conflict has taught him about what's actually underneath money fights. Drawing on peer-reviewed research, the Harvard Negotiation Project, and the neuroscience of emotional flooding, this episode builds a framework for turning your most corrosive financial arguments into a source of genuine intimacy and connection. Because the fight was never really about the granola. In this episode: * Why couples who argue about money once a week are 30% more likely to divorce — and what the frequency tells you * The tightwad/spendthrift pairing: why opposites attract and why it eventually costs you * Positions vs. interests — the one distinction that unlocks every deadlocked financial argument * Why compromise is structurally flawed (and what collaboration actually looks like) * The neuroscience of emotional flooding and why you literally cannot win a money fight in the heat of the moment * Ryan's own money story: the $30 coat, the carrots and peanut butter, and a relationship with spending that runs him more than he runs it If money conflict is showing up in your relationship and you're ready to have a different kind of conversation, Ryan works with couples at Flannel People Mediation — a virtual mediation practice built for exactly this. Learn more at flannelpeoplemediation.com. [flannelpeoplemediation.com]
23 episodios
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