Why Blaming the Narcissist Is Holding You Back (And What To Do Instead)

Why Do I Still Feel Stuck (Even Though I Know What Happened)?

You’ve done the work. You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, even named the patterns — gaslighting, trauma bonding, narcissism. You understand what happened. So why do you still feel stuck? In this episode of AwakenHer, we explore the disconnect that so many trauma survivors experience between intellectual awareness and embodied healing. It's time to gently challenge the common belief that “understanding equals freedom” and explain why true transformation only begins when the body feels safe enough to release the trauma it's been holding. This is a deeply validating and empowering episode for any woman who feels like she “should be over it by now” — but still finds herself looping, reacting, or struggling to move on. You’re not broken. Your nervous system just hasn’t caught up to the story your mind already knows. What You’ll Learn: 💡 Why cognitive understanding isn’t enough to heal trauma 💡 How trauma is stored in the body — not just the mind 💡 What keeps your nervous system stuck in survival mode 💡 Somatic and spiritual practices to help your body feel safe 💡 How to begin reconnecting with the parts of you still holding on Take This With You: You don’t need more willpower or more information. You need safety. You need gentleness. You need support. And most of all, you need to remember that your healing doesn’t live in your head — it lives in your body. Resources Mentioned: 🦋 The Savvy Girl’s Guide to Thriving Beyond Narcissistic Abuse [https://bit.ly/Savvygirlsguide] – Corissa’s book with somatic tools and reflection prompts 🌿 Somatic Empowerment Sessions [https://ssl.dubsado.com/public/appointment-scheduler/626bd9b29a704ecb9031db4c/schedule] – 1:1 coaching and nervous system support 🎧 Share this episode on Instagram and tag @corissastepp to let Corissa know what resonated most. Loved this episode? Please leave a 5-star rating, write a quick review, and share this with someone who needs to hear: “You’re not stuck — your body is still catching up.” Send us a Text Message to let us know what you thought of this episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101928/fan_mail/new] ________________________ Corissa is a Holistic Trauma-Informed Coach & Narcissistic Abuse Specialist™ who empowers women after they’ve endured narcissist trauma to rediscover who they are, reclaim their power, and find the clarity and courage to move forward and live a life they love.   Corissa is also a recovering people-pleaser and codependent who has endured way too many narcissistic relationships to count!  She coaches not only from her knowledge and training but also from the wisdom she has gained from her own healing journey. Book a FREE 30-min Clarity Call HERE [https://ssl.dubsado.com/public/appointment-scheduler/626bd9b29a704ecb9031db4c/schedule]. Ways to connect with Corissa: Podcast Website [https://awakenherpodcast.com] Website: www.corissastepp.com [Https://www.corissastepp.com] Book: The Savvy Girl's Guide to Thriving Beyond Narcissistic Abuse [https://amzn.to/3PJ4SsE] Instagram: @corissastepp [http://www.instagram.com/corissastepp] Facebook:  Corissa Stepp [http://www.facebook.com/corissastepp] Free Quiz: Is My Partner a Narcissist? [https://bit.ly/isyourpartneranarcissistquiz] We'd love to hear what you think so message us on IG. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, review, or share it so we can reac...

Protecting Your Peace or Pushing People Away? The Real Power of ‘The Let Them Theory’

In today’s episode of AwakenHer, I’m unpacking the widely shared “Let Them” theory—popularized by Mel Robbins—and exploring how this seemingly empowering phrase can sometimes be misunderstood or misused, especially when we’re still healing from relational trauma. We’ll look at what it really means to let someone be who they are from a trauma-informed lens—and how to discern whether your boundaries are coming from your grounded Self or a wounded protector part. You’ll learn the difference between sacred boundaries and reactive walls, and how to honor your needs without hardening your heart. If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “let them” with a little sting… this episode is your invitation to slow down, get curious, and reclaim your power with softness, clarity, and compassion. 💡 Key Takeaways: * Why the “Let Them” message often gets misinterpreted in trauma recovery spaces * The difference between calm boundaries and reactive defenses * How to recognize when a protector part is leading the conversation * What compassionate accountability sounds like in real relationships * How nervous system regulation supports clearer communication and deeper connection * A gentle practice to check in with your internal parts and honor your truth Boundaries rooted in reactivity are often mistaken for empowerment, but they’re just emotional armor. You can honor your needs and still hold space for someone else’s humanity. Compassion and accountability can coexist. Letting someone be who they are doesn’t require your permission—it requires your acceptance, and your discernment.  When we pause and check in, we give our protector parts a break—and allow our grounded Self to lead. If this episode resonated and you’re ready to explore how to respond—not react—from a grounded place, I’d love to support you. I have openings for 1:1 Somatic Empowerment Session beginning in September, where we integrate nervous system healing, parts work, and trauma-informed coaching to help you reclaim your power with grace. Head to the link below to book a free 30-minute call to secure your spot! Send us a Text Message to let us know what you thought of this episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101928/fan_mail/new] ________________________ Corissa is a Holistic Trauma-Informed Coach & Narcissistic Abuse Specialist™ who empowers women after they’ve endured narcissist trauma to rediscover who they are, reclaim their power, and find the clarity and courage to move forward and live a life they love.   Corissa is also a recovering people-pleaser and codependent who has endured way too many narcissistic relationships to count!  She coaches not only from her knowledge and training but also from the wisdom she has gained from her own healing journey. Book a FREE 30-min Clarity Call HERE [https://ssl.dubsado.com/public/appointment-scheduler/626bd9b29a704ecb9031db4c/schedule]. Ways to connect with Corissa: Podcast Website [https://awakenherpodcast.com] Website: www.corissastepp.com [Https://www.corissastepp.com] Book: The Savvy Girl's Guide to Thriving Beyond Narcissistic Abuse [https://amzn.to/3PJ4SsE] Instagram: @corissastepp [http://www.instagram.com/corissastepp] Facebook:  Corissa Stepp [http://www.facebook.com/corissastepp] Free Quiz: Is My Partner a Narcissist? [https://bit.ly/isyourpartneranarcissistquiz] We'd love to hear what you think so message us on IG. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, review, or share it so we can reac...

How to Fall Apart (and Why It’s the Key to Finding Yourself) with Judy Greenfeld

In this deeply moving episode of AwakenHer, host Corissa Stepp welcomes Rabbi Cantor Judy Greenfeld for an honest and soul-stirring conversation about transforming pain into strength and finding true purpose through life’s harshest challenges. Judy—an author, spiritual leader, and founder of the Nachshon Minyan in Texas—brings powerful insights on healing, trauma recovery, and the eternal question: “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Together, Corissa and Judy explore how to meaningfully rebuild after loss, embrace your inner resilience, and shift from simply pursuing happiness to living a life of authenticity and purpose. Real stories of trauma, motherhood, faith, and personal transformation are shared, offering listeners practical wisdom for facing overwhelm, loneliness, or uncertainty in today’s world. What You’ll Learn In This Episode: * Judy’s Story of Resilience: Hear how Judy’s experiences with murder, divorce, and cancer shaped her perspective on faith, trauma, and inner strength. * Practical Tools for Overwhelm: Discover grounding techniques and small, actionable steps for moving through overwhelm * Spiritual Insights for Modern Women: Judy bridges ancient Jewish wisdom with modern wellness, sharing how faith traditions and personal rituals can support healing and personal transformation. * Somatic Healing & Nervous System Regulation: Learn why processing emotions physically—not just mentally—matters, and how breathwork, movement, and sound can be powerful allies. * Redefining Purpose & Receiving: Understand the difference between your life’s roles and your deeper purpose, and why learning to receive and recognize life’s small wins is vital for fulfillment. * Compassion for Yourself & Others: Gain compassionate perspectives on supporting yourself or others through trauma and embracing the hard parts of healing. If this episode inspired you, share it with a friend who might need these empowering messages—and don’t forget to subscribe to AwakenHer for more genuine stories and expert guidance on healing and transformation. Listen to the full conversation now and take another step toward your most empowered self! Ways to Connect with Judy: Website: https://rabbicantorjudy.org/ Instagram:@rabbicantorjudyg Email: rabbi@congregationbethisrael.org Send us a Text Message to let us know what you thought of this episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101928/fan_mail/new] 💫 You’re invited to join us in the brand new Savvy & StrongHER Community—a powerful membership space for women healing after trauma or toxic relationships. Join for as low as $7/month in our entry tier. With three levels of support, there’s a path for you. Visit savvyandstrongher.com [https://savvyandstrongher.com] for more information and to join now! 💖 Strong enough to heal, savvy enough to thrive ________________________ Corissa is a Holistic Trauma-Informed Coach & Narcissistic Abuse Specialist™ who empowers women after they’ve endured narcissist trauma to rediscover who they are, reclaim their power, and find the clarity and courage to move forward and live a life they love.   Corissa is also a recovering people-pleaser and codependent who has endured way too many narcissistic relationships to count!  She coaches not only from her knowledge and training but also from the wisdom she has gained from her own healing journey. Book a FREE 30-min Clarity Call HERE [https://ssl.dubsado.com/public/appointment-scheduler/626bd9b29a704ecb9031db4c/schedule]. Ways to connect with Corissa: Podcast Website [https://awakenherpodcast.com] Website: www.corissastepp.com [Https://www.corissastepp.com] Book: The Savvy Girl's Guide to Thriving Beyond Narcissistic Abuse [https://amzn.to/3PJ4SsE] Instagram: @corissastepp [http://www.instagram.com/corissastepp] Facebook:  Corissa Stepp [http://www.facebook.com/corissastepp] Free Quiz: Is My Partner a Narcissist? [https://bit.ly/isyourpartneranarcissistquiz] We'd love to hear what you think so message us on IG. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, review, or share it so we can reac...

Why Am I So Angry? Finding Healing and Compassion Beneath the Rage

If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Why am I so angry all the time?” — this episode is for you. Host Corissa Stepp explores how anger shows up as a trauma response after narcissistic abuse, how it functions as a protector part through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), and why you might be snapping at the people you love. Tune in to learn how to listen to your anger with compassion, regulate your nervous system, and begin the healing process with somatic and trauma-informed tools. In this powerful and compassionate episode, Corissa dives deep into the question so many trauma survivors ask themselves: "Why am I so angry?" For women recovering from narcissistic abuse or years of emotional trauma, anger can feel explosive, confusing, and overwhelming. You may find yourself yelling at your kids, feeling constantly irritated, or emotionally shutting down — and then carrying shame for it all. But what if your anger isn’t the problem? What if it’s a protector? In this episode, Corissa offers a trauma-informed, nervous system-based understanding of anger, drawing from: * Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how anger acts as a protector part * Somatic trauma recovery tools for regulating the nervous system * The hidden emotions beneath anger — like grief, helplessness, and betrayal * Why you may lash out at the people you love most * How to work with, not against, your anger as a messenger of unmet needs and past pain You’ll walk away with a deep sense of validation, a greater understanding of your internal world, and practical next steps to begin releasing stored survival energy — all from a place of compassion. 🔗 Resources & Links: * 💻 Learn more or book a 1:1 trauma-informed session [https://ssl.dubsado.com/public/appointment-scheduler/626bd9b29a704ecb9031db4c/schedule] * 💫 Join the Savvy & StrongHER Community [https://savvyandstrongher.com] * 📚 Get the book: The Savvy Girl’s Guide to Thriving Beyond Narcissistic Abuse  [https://bit.ly/Savvygirlsguide] Send us a Text Message to let us know what you thought of this episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101928/fan_mail/new] ________________________ Corissa is a Holistic Trauma-Informed Coach & Narcissistic Abuse Specialist™ who empowers women after they’ve endured narcissist trauma to rediscover who they are, reclaim their power, and find the clarity and courage to move forward and live a life they love.   Corissa is also a recovering people-pleaser and codependent who has endured way too many narcissistic relationships to count!  She coaches not only from her knowledge and training but also from the wisdom she has gained from her own healing journey. Book a FREE 30-min Clarity Call HERE [https://ssl.dubsado.com/public/appointment-scheduler/626bd9b29a704ecb9031db4c/schedule]. Ways to connect with Corissa: Podcast Website [https://awakenherpodcast.com] Website: www.corissastepp.com [Https://www.corissastepp.com] Book: The Savvy Girl's Guide to Thriving Beyond Narcissistic Abuse [https://amzn.to/3PJ4SsE] Instagram: @corissastepp [http://www.instagram.com/corissastepp] Facebook:  Corissa Stepp [http://www.facebook.com/corissastepp] Free Quiz: Is My Partner a Narcissist? [https://bit.ly/isyourpartneranarcissistquiz] We'd love to hear what you think so message us on IG. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, review, or share it so we can reac...

Why Blaming the Narcissist Is Holding You Back (And What To Do Instead)

Welcome to another empowering episode of AwakenHer with Corissa Stepp! In this transformative episode, Corissa explores how women can break the cycle of blame, release the weight of past trauma, and step confidently into healing after experiencing narcissistic abuse. Episode Highlights: * Understanding Victimhood After Narcissistic Abuse: Corissa explains why her book, The Savvy Girl’s Guide to Thriving Beyond Narcissistic Abuse, is designed to be read in full to validate your personal journey and help you move beyond simply identifying as a victim. * Identifying Trauma & Navigating Recovery: Learn about the physical and emotional symptoms trauma leaves behind, and discover why taking personal accountability (without self-blame) is crucial in the healing process. * The Path to Empowerment: Corissa offers empowering insights on how to move from blaming the narcissist or your past circumstances, to taking ownership of your future and reclaiming your authentic self. * Breaking the Drama Triangle: Get practical tools to break out of the cycle of victim, persecutor, and rescuer, and step into the “creator” role of your own life story. * Healing Childhood Wounds: Corissa dives deep into the impact of narcissistic parents, childhood family dynamics, and the importance of grieving and rewriting your personal narrative. * Setting Boundaries & Maintaining Healthy Relationships: Find out how to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and relate to narcissists in a way that prioritizes your safety and self-worth. * Releasing Energetic Burdens: Let go of unresolved resentment and grief, and discover how understanding, empathy, and healthy detachment can set you free. Why Listen? If you’ve struggled with codependency, people-pleasing, or are navigating life after emotional abuse, this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with tangible strategies for healing and reclaiming your personal power, along with a renewed sense of hope and clarity. Corissa’s blend of expert advice, lived experience, and compassionate guidance creates a safe space for any woman ready to heal, grow, and move forward. Loved this episode? Share it with a friend or leave a review to support more women on their journey from pain to empowerment. Tune in now and take your next step toward becoming your most empowered self! Send us a Text Message to let us know what you thought of this episode! [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2101928/fan_mail/new] 💫 You’re invited to join us in the brand new Savvy & StrongHER Community—a powerful membership space for women healing after trauma or toxic relationships. Join for as low as $7/month in our entry tier. With three levels of support, there’s a path for you. Visit savvyandstrongher.com [https://savvyandstrongher.com] for more information and to join now! 💖 Strong enough to heal, savvy enough to thrive ________________________ Corissa is a Holistic Trauma-Informed Coach & Narcissistic Abuse Specialist™ who empowers women after they’ve endured narcissist trauma to rediscover who they are, reclaim their power, and find the clarity and courage to move forward and live a life they love.   Corissa is also a recovering people-pleaser and codependent who has endured way too many narcissistic relationships to count!  She coaches not only from her knowledge and training but also from the wisdom she has gained from her own healing journey. Book a FREE 30-min Clarity Call HERE [https://ssl.dubsado.com/public/appointment-scheduler/626bd9b29a704ecb9031db4c/schedule]. Ways to connect with Corissa: Podcast Website [https://awakenherpodcast.com] Website: www.corissastepp.com [Https://www.corissastepp.com] Book: The Savvy Girl's Guide to Thriving Beyond Narcissistic Abuse [https://amzn.to/3PJ4SsE] Instagram: @corissastepp [http://www.instagram.com/corissastepp] Facebook:  Corissa Stepp [http://www.facebook.com/corissastepp] Free Quiz: Is My Partner a Narcissist? [https://bit.ly/isyourpartneranarcissistquiz] We'd love to hear what you think so message us on IG. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, review, or share it so we can reac...