Resentment to Gratitude

Isolation to Intimacy

In the final episode of Becoming Whole, Josh and Sarah Claire explore the deep human longing for connection—especially among queer Christians navigating loneliness, embodiment, and chosen family. They unpack how intimacy grows through sacrifice, presence, and healing, offering practices that move us from disconnection into meaningful, lasting belonging. CHAPTERS 00:00 | Introduction 03:35 | Defining Isolation and Intimacy 05:45 | Why This Movement Comes Last 08:40 | Broader Definition of Sexuality 10:30 | The Importance of Physical Presence in a Digital World 11:25 | Two Distortions: Sexual Repression and Sexual Flippancy 12:53 | Five Key Memories from Your Sexual Story 17:30 | Why Intimacy Requires Sacrifice 19:25 | Celibacy, Connection, and Erotic Love for God 21:20 | Commitment, Uncertainty, and the Barriers to Intimacy 26:15 | Intimacy is More than Sexual or Romantic 29:12 | Three Practices for Moving Toward Intimacy 35:35 | Final Reflections: Becoming at Home in Ourselves 39:31 | Credits FOOTNOTES Referenced Works: * Deborah Hirsch, Redeeming Sex: Naked Conversations About Sexuality and Spirituality | 08:49 Music Featured: * Way Back Home by Ben Parks (00:00) * Leave It All Behind by Transient Friends (35:20) Special thanks to Zac Wagner for sound engineering support. Read the full Research Document here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Go_PRhhwvmNDm7QKJbT99Bi7kG5qbXff/view?usp=sharing

Entitlement to Humility

In this episode, Josh and Sarah Claire explore the shift from entitlement to humility, revealing how both privilege and deprivation can shape our sense of scarcity. Through stories, theology, and practical practices like fasting and listening, they invite us into a posture of humility rooted not in shame, but in belovedness and abundance. CHAPTERS 00:00 | Introduction 02:42 | Defining Entitlement 06:00 | Deprivation and Second Adolescence in Queer Experience 09:02 | Entitlement from Privilege vs. Entitlement from Deprivation 13:54 | Defining Humility 17:11 | Repentance as a Shift in Perspective 18:35 | Three Practices for Moving Toward Humility 26:20 | Final Reflections on Transformation and Encountering the Full Trinity 29:55 | Credits FOOTNOTESGuest Contributors: * Sarah Patterson, Track Leader of Tyndale Seminary's DMin in Spiritual Formation | 28:54 Music Featured: * Fragile by Ben Parks | 00:00 * Somebody to Hold by Drum & Co | 26:20 Read the full Research Document here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Go_PRhhwvmNDm7QKJbT99Bi7kG5qbXff/view?usp=sharing

Resentment to Gratitude

In this deeply personal episode, Josh and Sarah Claire explore the fourth spiritual movement: the journey from resentment to gratitude. Against the backdrop of Josh’s own unfolding experience with relational pain, they discuss the role of anger, forgiveness, and the very real barriers to healing that queer Christians often face. They unpack the meaning of resentment, how it forms in response to injustice, and how true gratitude is not a bypassing of pain but an act of grace-infused transformation. CHAPTERS 00:00 | Introduction 07:02 | Defining Resentment and Gratitude 11:45 | The Unique Resentments Faced by Queer People 18:15 | The Danger of Self-Righteousness 19:42 | Jonah, Nineveh, and God's Unwanted Mercy 24:50 | The Connection Between Shame and Resentment 27:45 | Belonging, Security, and Significance: The Roots of Perceived Enemies 31:20 | Releasing Control and Becoming Receivers 36:48 | Forgiveness as a Practice, Not a Moment 39:53 | Josh's Journey with Forgiveness and Resentment 43:47 | Forgiveness Rooted in God’s Justice and Our Own Forgiveness 49:13 | Three Practices to Move from Resentment to Gratitude 56:35 | Final Reflections for Pastors and Directors 60:05 | Credits FOOTNOTES Guest Contributors: * Sarah Patterson, Track Leader of Tyndale Seminary's DMin in Spiritual Formation | 58:05 Referenced Works: * Eve Tushnet, Tenderness (Chicago: Wiseblood Books, 2020) | 18:20, 38:36, 44:15, and 50:13 on forgiveness, resentment, and God's compassion. * Alan Downs, The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World (Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 2005) | 17:20 and 43:26 on gay male anger and the power of forgiveness. * Dan Kida, sermon at Providencia WPB | Quoted at 28:05: “An enemy is anyone who threatens my belonging, security, or significance.” * The Chosen, Season 4 | 41:06 * C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle (New York: HarperCollins, 2001) Note: First published in 1956 | 53:40 Scripture * The Book of Jonah | discussed at 19:42–23:35 * Exodus 32:6 | 22:07 * The parable of the Pharisee and tax collector (Luke 18:9–14) | 18:20 Music Featured: * Bitter Mint by Emily Blaylock | 03:22 * Change by Emily Blaylock | 56:10 Read the full Research Document here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Go_PRhhwvmNDm7QKJbT99Bi7kG5qbXff/view?usp=sharing

Sorrow to Joy

In this episode of Becoming Whole, we explore the third spiritual movement: the journey from sorrow to joy. Recognizing that sorrow is an unavoidable part of life, particularly for LGBT+ and same-sex attracted individuals, Josh and Sarah Claire discuss how deep pains—both personal and collective—impact our spiritual lives. S Through reflections on clean and dirty pain, grief practices, and the transformative power of mourning, they chart a path toward resilient joy.  CHAPTERS 00:00 | Introduction 01:20 | Lesli on the Unique Sorrows of Queer Christians 07:31 | Defining Sorrow: Loss, Pain and the Brokenness of the World 09:24 | Specific Griefs and Coping Mechanisms of Queer People 17:15 | Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain: Moving Toward Healing 22:53 | Redefining Joy: Life After Pain, Not Absent of It 27:35 | How Mourning Leads to Joy 32:04 | Spiritual Practices for Joy 43:20 | Closing Conversations with Henry and Lesli  49:50 | Credits FOOTNOTES Guest Contributors:  * Lesli Hudson-Reynolds, Spiritual Director, Whispers in the Wind (whispersinthewind.org) | 01:26 and 44:57 * Henry Abuto, Co-host of the Life on Side B Podcast | 43:20 Referenced Works: * Case Study 2, Interviewed by Josh Proctor, October 2023 | 00:33 * Resmaa Menakem, My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized trauma and the pathway to mending our hearts and bodies. (Central Recovery Press, 2017) | 17:50 * Julia Sadusky, interviewed on the Life on Side B Podcast, “S2E4 | Dr. Julia Sadusky on Mental Health and Loneliness” | 02:37 * Peter A. Levine, In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness (North Atlantic Books, 2010) | 35:23 Music Featured:  * Why Does Everybody Leave by Ben Parks | 00:00 * The Doxology by Clayton Waller | 50:00 Read the full Research Document here [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Go_PRhhwvmNDm7QKJbT99Bi7kG5qbXff/view?usp=sharing].

Murkiness to Transparency

This episode explores the second spiritual movement: Murkiness to Transparency, focused on how we see God and the world. We discuss the misconceptions and false teachings that have shaped the spiritual experiences of queer people, emphasizing the importance of recognizing God's incomprehensibility and the need for spiritual practices that foster surrender and connection.  Footnotes Chapter 1 | Introduction (00:00) * 00:00 | Sergii Pavkin, “A Long Way,” Pixabay, 2023. * 00:20 | Rachel Dowda, reading of Mary Oliver’s “The Journey”, 2024, Audio. * 01:37 | Case Study 1, interview by Josh Proctor, October 2023.  * 02:18 | Lin Melone, interview by Josh Proctor, July 29, 2024. Chapter 2 | Defining Murkiness (03:33) * 06:13 | Eve Tushnet, Tenderness: A Gay Christian’s Guide to Unlearning Rejection and Experiencing God's Extravagant Love (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2021). Chapter 3 | False Ideas LGBT Christians Received (08:22) * 09:08 | Zakhar Valaha, “Perfect Beauty,” Pixabay. * 09:18 | The audio clip comes from the following podcast episode: “Heavy Burdens: Interview with Bridget Eileen Rivera (Part 1).” A Pastor and a Philosopher Walk into a Bar. Hosted by Randy Knie and Kyle Whitaker. February 24, 2022. Podcast, 51:07. https://open.spotify.com/episode/54DfBoYeDgoX2p5n5caXD9 [https://open.spotify.com/episode/54DfBoYeDgoX2p5n5caXD9]. A national study analyzing data from the 2016–2019 National Survey on Drug Use and Health found that while religious attendance is associated with lower suicide risk among heterosexual individuals, it correlates with higher suicide risk among gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals. * 09:55 | Bridget Eileen Rivera. Heavy Burdens: Seven Ways LGBTQ Christians Experience Harm in the Church. Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2021. * 11:13 | Lin Melone, interview by Josh Proctor, July 29, 2024. Chapter 4 | The Fear of God’s Will (12:40) * 14:52 | Bekah Mason. "Non-Traditional Families Are Biblical Families." Workshop presented at Revoice18 Conference, St. Louis, MO, July 26-28, 2018. Chapter 5 | Our Image of God Impacts Our Formation (16:55) * 17:16 | A.W. Tozer. The Knowledge of the Holy. New York: HarperCollins, 1978. * 19:08 | Isaiah 6 * 22:17 | Jenkins, Dallas, creator. The Chosen. VidAngel Studios, 2019–present. Streaming video. https://watch.angelstudios.com/thechosen [https://watch.angelstudios.com/thechosen]. Chapter 6 | Embracing Mystery (23:11) * 24:30 | Lin Melone, interview by Josh Proctor, July 29, 2024. * 27:41 | M. Robert Mulholland Jr., Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, 1993). Chapter 7 | Defining Transparency (28:32) * 29:46 | 1 Corinthians 3:18 Chapter 8 | Spiritual Practices for Transparency (31:56) * 33:41 | James Empereur, Spiritual Direction and the Gay Person (London: Bloomsbury Academic, 1998). * 39: 56 | C.S. Lewis. The Last Battle. New York: HarperCollins, 2001. (Note: First published in 1956.) Chapter 9 | The Gift of Things Falling Apart (41:25) * 44:40 | Paradise Hymns, “Arrow,” written by Daniel Brunjes, 2020, Spotify. * 45:18 | Rachel Dowda, reader. Against a Closed Sky. By Walter Brueggemann. Audio recording. November 8, 2024. Chapter 10 | Credits (47:04) Read the full Research Document here [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Go_PRhhwvmNDm7QKJbT99Bi7kG5qbXff/view?usp=sharing]. Special thanks to Zac Wagner for sound engineering support.