“I Need,” “I Feel,” “I Require” — Our Needs Matter: How We Set Boundaries

“I Need,” “I Feel,” “I Require” — Our Needs Matter: How We Set Boundaries

In this episode of Beliefs, Behaviors, Communication, and the Brain, I explore why setting boundaries and making requests can be so challenging. Together, we discuss how our past experiences shape the way we communicate our needs and how expressing what we feel, need, and require can lead to healthier relationships and greater understanding. Tune in for practical tools to help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and compassion.  Key Takeaways  Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard – Setting boundaries and making requests is not simply a communication skill. The way we ask for what we need is often shaped by our upbringing, culture, family dynamics, and workplace norms. Messages like "be seen, not heard" or believing that our needs do not matter can become deeply internalized, making it difficult to express ourselves clearly and confidently later in life. Recognizing where these patterns come from is the first step toward healthier communication and stronger relationships.  Express the Need Behind the Request – People are more likely to understand and respond to a boundary when they understand the need behind it. Instead of only stating what you want someone to do, explain what you're feeling, what you need, and why it matters. Shifting from "You don't listen" to "I feel unheard, and I need to feel heard in this relationship" creates a clearer picture of your experience and invites a more meaningful response.  Boundaries Are Stronger When They Invite Understanding – A boundary doesn't have to sound harsh to be effective. Sharing what you're experiencing, why it matters, and making a clear request gives the other person a chance to understand instead of becoming defensive. When requests are communicated with clarity, respect, and shared responsibility, they can strengthen connection rather than create conflict.  Boundaries, Needs, and Requests Work Together – Effective boundaries go beyond telling someone to stop a behavior. They explain what you're experiencing, why it matters, and what you need instead. When you clearly communicate your needs alongside a specific request, you create greater understanding and make it easier for others to respond in a way that supports healthier communication and stronger relationships.    Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne  Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc]. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.    See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue [https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue] and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs]    Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media  Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha [https://www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha]   Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha [https://www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha]   YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.youtube.com/DrMaiysha]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha]

Go Where You are Celebrated, Not Tolerated with Aaronde Creighton

In this episode of Beliefs, Behaviors, Communication, and the Brain, I sit down with Aaronde Creighton, founder of 4th & Hawthorne, for a conversation about authenticity, belonging, and the difference between being celebrated and merely tolerated. Together, we explore how childhood experiences, workplace expectations, and societal pressures shape the way we show up in the world, and why leading from your authentic self creates deeper connection, confidence, and impact. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on finding communities where you can fully be yourself, listening to what your body is telling you, and choosing spaces that celebrate who you are rather than simply accepting your presence.  Key Takeaways  * Authenticity Comes at a Cost, but So Does Hiding – Trying to fit in and constantly wearing a mask may help you survive, but it can also leave you exhausted. Embracing who you truly are creates the opportunity to move beyond simply being tolerated to being genuinely celebrated.  * Authenticity Often Begins with Unlearning – Many of the ways we hide or adapt started as survival strategies. Growth begins when we recognize the roles we've been assigned, let go of who others expected us to be, and give ourselves permission to become who we truly are.  * Challenge the Stories You've Inherited – Many of the beliefs that shape our lives are assumptions we've carried for years without questioning. Real growth begins when we examine those stories, let go of the ones that no longer serve us, and choose a path that reflects who we truly are.  * Embracing Your Identity Is a Strength – Hiding parts of who you are to fit in can keep you from recognizing your unique value. Growth happens when you stop shrinking yourself, embrace your full identity, and realize that what makes you different is often what makes your perspective most valuable.  * Representation Creates Psychological Safety – People are more likely to be honest, vulnerable, and open to growth when they feel seen and understood. Seeing someone who shares your lived experience creates trust, reduces the need to explain yourself, and makes deeper transformation possible.  * Celebrate Yourself First – The foundation of finding people who truly celebrate you is learning to celebrate yourself. When you fully embrace your identity, strengths, and lived experiences, you naturally create space for authentic relationships and communities where you can truly belong.    About the Guest  Aaronde Creighton is an executive coach, leadership facilitator, and speaker who helps leaders lead with authenticity, build stronger relationships, and create workplaces where people feel seen, valued, and empowered. Drawing from his own lived experiences, he equips individuals and organizations to embrace identity, cultivate belonging, and lead with greater courage and purpose.    Connect with Aaronde  Website: https://4thandhawthorne.com/ [https://4thandhawthorne.com/]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/onlyoneaaronde [https://www.linkedin.com/in/onlyoneaaronde]     Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne  Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc]. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.    See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue [https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue] and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs]    Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media  Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha [https://www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha]   Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha [https://www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha]   YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.youtube.com/DrMaiysha]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha]

Hope As Healing: Moving From Vicarious Trauma to Vicarious Resilience

In this solo episode of Beliefs, Behaviors, Communication, and the Brain, I explore how hope, resilience, and emotional regulation spread through the people around us. Together, we look at the neuroscience behind mirror neurons, limbic resonance, and co-regulation, and why the way we manage our own emotions can influence our families, teams, and communities. I also share practical ways to cultivate hope, build psychological safety, and become a source of calm and resilience during challenging times. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on creating healthier relationships, strengthening emotional resilience, and leading with hope.  Key Takeaways  Hope Is Contagious Too – Just as trauma can spread through our relationships, hope and resilience can spread as well. Understanding how the brain responds to the emotions and behaviors of others helps us become more intentional about the energy we bring into our homes, workplaces, and communities.  Mirror Neurons Shape Human Connection – Our brains are wired to pick up and reflect the emotions of the people around us. Through mirror neurons and limbic resonance, we naturally influence one another's emotional state, making our presence, emotional regulation, and connection more powerful than we often realize.  Emotional Regulation Creates a Ripple Effect – The way we manage our own emotions affects the people around us. Through co-regulation, our calm, stress, or anxiety can influence others, making emotional awareness an important part of creating healthier relationships, stronger teams, and more resilient communities.    Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne  Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships. Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc]. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.    See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue [https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue] and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs]    Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media  Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha [https://www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha]   Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha [https://www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha]   YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.youtube.com/DrMaiysha]  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha]

Protect Your Most Valuable Asset with Keston Glasgow

In this episode of Beliefs, Behaviors, Communication, and the Brain, I sit down with Keston Glasgow, founder and CEO of Mind Insurance Technologies, for a conversation about protecting your mind, building emotional resilience, and creating daily habits that support lasting personal growth. Together, we explore the importance of having a clear vision, understanding the true cost of meaningful goals, and developing practical routines that help you navigate life's challenges with greater intention and clarity. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on strengthening your mindset, protecting your peace, and becoming the person you are working to be.     Key Takeaways  Your Daily Habits Prepare You for Difficult Seasons – Emotional resilience is not built only during life's hardest moments. The habits you practice every day shape how you respond when challenges come.  Clarity Comes Before Growth – It is hard to make progress if you do not know what you are working toward. Taking time to clearly define what you want gives your decisions, habits, and actions a clear direction instead of leaving you feeling stuck or uncertain.  What Are You Willing to Stop Doing – Reaching a new goal often means giving up habits that no longer support the life you want. Progress requires intentional choices, even when they feel inconvenient.  Protect Your Mind Every Day – Mental resilience is built through consistent daily habits, not occasional effort. Whether it is prayer, learning, exercise, reflection, or another healthy practice, regularly investing in your mind helps you stay grounded, renew your perspective, and prepare for whatever challenges the day may bring.  Community Strengthens Mental Resilience – Healthy habits and personal practices are important, but lasting resilience also requires supportive relationships. Building a trusted community gives you people to lean on during difficult seasons while helping you grow, process challenges, and avoid carrying life's burdens alone.    About the Guest  Keston Glasgow is the Founder and CEO of Mind Insurance Technologies and an AI strategist for human potential. Through his Mind Insurance framework, he helps individuals and organizations build mental resilience, increase self-awareness, and create lasting behavioral change. Drawing from his own experiences with leadership, loss, and personal growth, Keston equips people with practical tools to protect their mindset and intentionally become the person they are meant to be.    Connect with Keston  * Website: https://kestonglasgow.com [https://kestonglasgow.com]   * Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kesonpurpose [https://www.instagram.com/kesonpurpose]    * TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kesonpurpose [https://www.tiktok.com/@kesonpurpose]   * YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KesOnPurpose [https://www.youtube.com/@KesOnPurpose]   * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keston-glasgow [https://www.linkedin.com/in/keston-glasgow]    Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne  Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you’re ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships . Learn more and register at www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc]. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new “Communications That Transforms” group cohort.    See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue [https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue] and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs]    Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social media  * Facebook: www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha]  * Instagram: www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha]  * YouTube: www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.youtube.com/DrMaiysha]  * LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha]

Don’t Let People Steal Your Joy…. Not Even You! Allowing Positive Emotions In

In this episode of Beliefs, Behaviors, Communication, and the Brain, I talk about what happens when we suppress positive emotions and why allowing joy, pride, and excitement in is just as important as learning to regulate the difficult ones. I share a very personal story about receiving exciting news about my TEDx talk being chosen as an editor's pick by TEDx, and catching myself micro-suppressing the very joy I deserved to feel. Tune in for a conversation about inherited conversations around happiness, the body's response to positive emotion, and a practice for recognizing when you are capping your own joy.  Key Takeaways  We Are Conditioned to Suppress Positive Emotions Too - Most conversations about emotional intelligence focus on managing negative emotions, but we carry just as much conditioning around joy, pride, and excitement.   Micro-Suppressing Joy Is a Real Pattern Worth Noticing - Suppressing positive emotions does not always look dramatic. It can show up as caveating good news, staying in preparation mode instead of celebration, or feeling uncomfortable sitting inside a moment of happiness.   Positive Emotions Have Real Physical and Relational Benefits - Research shows that joy, laughter, and connection improve outcomes for people navigating serious illness, lower cortisol levels, and increase our capacity to regulate when something difficult arises.  The Fear Underneath the Cap Is Worth Examining - We often stop joy in its tracks because of a fear we have not fully named. What if it does not happen? What if the other shoe drops? What if I lose focus? Getting curious about that internal conversation, rather than just capping the emotion, helps us understand what is driving the pattern and gives us a way to interrupt it.  Helpful Resource:  Practice Noticing When You Cap Your Joy: This week, go back to a moment when you felt a positive emotion rise and you put a lid on it. Notice what conversation was happening in that moment and recognize it as inherited, not yours. Then, as you move through your day, start catching it in real time. What does it feel like in your body when you suppress joy? What is the fear or concern underneath it? Name it, stay curious, and practice taking the cap off so you can experience the fullness of that happiness.    Hosted by: Dr. Maiysha Clairborne  Communication is the foundation of everything and everything happens in communication. If you're ready to take your communication to the next level, our Communication That Transforms course dives deep into creating psychological safety, handling crucial conversations, navigating conflict, and cultivating trust in a way that truly leaves the people in your life feeling seen, heard, respected and valued. It will transform how you lead and how you show up in all of your relationships. Learn more and register at http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticcwww.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/ticc]. If you are a leader and your employees or teams are struggling with team dynamics, consider taking them through our new "Communications That Transforms" group cohort.  See the full course breakdown and get a free preview of key modules to experience the value. Go to  [https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue]https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue [https://mindremappingacademy.com/course-catalogue] and schedule a call with Dr. Clairborne at  [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs]www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs [http://www.mindremappingacademy.com/corporate-programs]  Follow Dr. Maiysha on Social Media  Facebook:  [http://www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha]www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.facebook.com/DrMaiysha]  Instagram:  [http://www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha]www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.instagram.com/DrMaiysha]  YouTube:  [http://www.youtube.com/DrMaiysha]www.YouTube.com/DrMaiysha [http://www.youtube.com/DrMaiysha]  LinkedIn:  [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha]https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha [https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmaiysha]