Trust-Based Parenting For Kids From Hard Places with Angela Coston

What Happens When We Stop Asking How To Survive And Start Asking How To Thrive in Foster Care and Adoption

What if survival isn’t the goal—or even the best question? Rebecca opens the door to a different pursuit: building a sustainable home life in foster care and adoption by asking how to thrive when nothing else changes. Through a raw, unedited monologue, she traces the arc from a stacked season of yeses, a hospital-heavy year, and the first real brush with caregiver burnout to a set of clear, livable practices that steady the family’s pace. We unpack sustainability where it actually counts: in day-to-day choices that shape peace and connection. Rebecca walks through the signals she watches—when the laughter fades, when clutter crowds her attention, when schedules spin past reason—and how she responds with three anchors: simplify what you can, add beauty you can see, and plan intentional fun. Nature becomes a quiet ally, from flowers on the counter to time on the water, and microdoses of control help the nervous system stand down so the heart can show up. When life gets heavier, the strategy gets simpler. Sleep, sunlight, movement, hydration, and small boundaries become non-negotiables that turn chaos into a plan. For anyone who struggles to define thriving, Rebecca offers a practical tool: reverse-engineer the feeling of drowning and do the precise opposite, one consistent action at a time. The result isn’t a perfect home; it’s a durable culture where caregivers stay regulated, connection has room to grow, and love is not only present but livable. If you’re navigating foster care, adoption, or simply a season that feels too loud, this conversation offers grounded hope and actionable steps. Listen, share with a friend who needs steady ground today, and subscribe to get the next chapter as we return with edited interviews. Your review helps more caregivers find this space—will you leave one and tell us your first small step toward thriving? We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]

A Conversation about Attachment for Adoptive Parents with Stacey Cales, LCSW

A lot of adoptive and foster parents are handed an impossible goal: your family should look seamless, your child should feel “forever” the moment adoption is finalized, and your bond should eventually feel just like biology. When that does not happen, it can leave you spiraling between overcontrol and despair. Rebecca Harvin sits down with Stacy Cales, LCSW, a former foster parent, adoptive mom, and licensed clinical social worker known in Jacksonville for helping families untangle attachment challenges, and we name the pressure out loud. We talk about Stacye’s “beloved aunt or uncle” benchmark and why it can be the missing permission slip for exhausted parents. Lowering the bar is not lowering the love. It is removing the intensity that keeps everyone braced for failure. From there, we dig into why adoption day can feel like a letdown or even a threat, how our own attachment histories shape what feels urgent, and why we often parent our kids to survive the childhood we had. If you have ever thought, “Why is this still hard after all these years?” you are going to feel seen. You will also get practical tools you can use today: the calm storytelling voice, small consequences you can actually enforce, the power of repair, and why boundaries are a core ingredient of healthy attachment. We even touch on prenatal and early childhood brain wiring so you can stop blaming yourself for what is really nervous system math. If you are raising a child through foster care or adoption and you want more peace at home, listen through and then share this with a parent who needs it. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what belief about attachment you are ready to release. If you'd like to know more about the work that Stacey does, or if you're a Florida resident looking for an attachment therapist, you can find more at her website here: https://floridaattachment.org/ [https://floridaattachment.org/] We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]

The Foster Dad Perspective with Corey McKinney

Fostering can sound like a noble idea until it’s your front door, your kids, your routines, and your fear of what you can’t control. That’s why this conversation matters. We’re joined by Corey McKinney, a foster dad, author, and longtime mentor, to talk honestly about the “silent” part of the foster care community: dads who want to protect their families but also feel the pull to help kids who have nowhere safe to land. Corey shares what it looked like to resist foster parenting for nearly two years, what finally shifted his mindset, and why foster care has to be a full yes from both partners. We walk through the reality of a first placement that ends in disruption, the guilt that can follow, and how talking to a trusted friend or spouse can keep you from carrying it alone. We also dig into trauma-informed parenting in the most practical way: structure, food insecurity, school fights that don’t show up at home, and the small daily habits that help kids feel safe. Then we go deeper into the part most people misunderstand: attachment. Corey explains his “temporary assignment” approach, where the goal is to send a child out of your home better than when they came in, while still loving them fully in the here and now. If you’re considering foster care, adoption, respite care, or you’re already living it and need language for what you feel, you’ll walk away with clarity, courage, and concrete tools. Subscribe, share this with a foster dad you know, and leave a review so more families can find these stories. Find Corey here: Instagram: @TheCoreyMcKinney  Facebook: Corey McKinney    LinkedIn: Corey McKinney Website: www.coreymckinney.net [http://www.coreymckinney.net] We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]

Supporting Biological Children in Foster and Adoptive Families with Talia-Rae Farrow

Foster care can be beautiful and it can be brutal, and the people who often get overlooked are the biological kids already living in the home. We wanted to change that, so we sat down with Talia Ray Farrow, a bio, foster, and adoptive sister to more than 65 kids, to talk honestly about what it is like to grow up in a foster and adoptive family that is always expanding, shifting, and saying goodbye.  We get into the realities behind the highlight reel: sibling sets and separation, the grief that shows up as anger or jealousy, and the moment a child finally says, “My heart needs a break.” Talia Ray shares what helped her most as a bio kid, including parents who keep communication open every day, listen without rushing to fix, and build trust through small, steady quality time. We also talk about how grief can return years later, how to support kids through those anniversaries, and why attachment does not look the same with every foster sibling.  If you are fostering, adopting, considering a foster care license, or trying to support your own children while caring for other kids, this conversation offers practical tools and a lot of hope. Subscribe, share this with a foster parent who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find these stories. What is one thing you wish someone had told your bio kids early on? Find Talia-Rae here: @sister.to.many [https://www.instagram.com/sister.to.many/] (Instagram) @Sister To Many [https://www.facebook.com/people/Sister-To-Many/61556208096853/] (Facebook) You can email here at: fosteradoptadvocate@gmail.com We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]

Trust-Based Parenting For Kids From Hard Places with Angela Coston

Your kid is melting down, you are touched out, and the last thing you feel is “connected” yet the relationship is still the path forward. Rebecca Harvin sits down with Angela Coston, founder of For the Sake of One and a TBRI practitioner, to talk about what connection looks like when parenting kids from hard places meets real-life stress, school breaks, IEP meetings, and the long grind of behavior that repeats for years. We break down Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) into its three practical pillars: connecting, empowering, and correcting. Angela shares simple connection moves that can change the tone of a day, from five minutes of child-led play to the surprisingly effective “order what they order” moment that signals belonging. Then we get concrete about regulation: hydration, sleep, sensory input, and why protein and complex carbs matter so much when “defiance” is actually a blood sugar crash, especially for kids affected by prenatal substance exposure. From there, we wrestle with the hard edge of trauma-informed parenting: can’t versus won’t, willful disobedience versus survival behavior, and how to hold high nurture with high structure. You’ll hear scripts for choices, “first then” language, shared power, and consequences that keep agency on the child. We close with the backbone skill that makes all of this sustainable: repair, plus the self-care practices that help parents stay regulated enough to lead. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a foster or adoptive parent who needs hope today, and leave a review so more families can find trauma-informed tools. What is one behavior that triggers you most right now? Find For the Sake of One: Website: www.forthesakeofone.com [http://www.forthesakeofone.com] We know that foster care and adoption present unique challenges for your marriage, so we created this Same Page Checklist as a conversation starter for you and your spouse. You can download it for free on our website at https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1 [https://www.havenretreatsinc.org/couples-free-resources-1]. Enjoy! Registration is now open for our annual Bio Kid Retreat weekend June 26-28 at North Florida Christian Camp. Go to www.havenretreatsinc.org for more information. Follow us on Instagram: Haven Retreats- https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en [https://www.instagram.com/haven.retreats/?hl=en] Behind the Curtain Podcast- https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/ [https://www.instagram.com/behind.the.curtain_pod/]