This Isn't A Disorder: On Histamine, Failsafe, and Loving My Brain

This Isn't A Disorder: On Histamine, Failsafe, and Loving My Brain

Hello my loves. This episode--recorded in the aftermath of an intense chemical reaction at the local library (thanks, industrial cleaners)--is one long, glitchy exhale. I speak about rediscovering my histamine intolerance and diving deep into the Failsafe protocol—what it is, why I’m doing it, and how I’m using it to try and figure out which chemical sensitivities I actually have. I open up about my recent house move, discovering my ADHD and sensory processing disorder—among other things—and why I dislike using the word disorder. I talk about loving my brain, even when it can make functioning in this world more challenging. This episode is a chemical aftermath, a housing transition, and a sensory cyclone. It’s about remembering that I love being neurodivergent, even when it hurts. It’s about ADHD, sensory sensitivity, unmasking, and processing things out loud in real time. Thank you for being here with me. Seeya Later! P.S CapCut--the capitalists-- keep putting the transitions I use behind a paywall, so this one’s been edited with a hacked workaround. It might glitch. That’s just where we’re at right now and I'm rolling with it. I hope you can too.

Surrender and Self-Acceptance: Navigating Uncertainty with Compassion

In this episode, I explore what self-acceptance truly feels like—not as a fixed destination, but as a gentle, living process tied deeply to the practice of surrender. I share what surrender looks like for me, especially during times of uncertainty, and how I’m navigating the tender experience of house-hunting while holding space for my attachment wounding to surface. I speak about viewing a home I thought was perfect, and how the fear of not being accepted brought up both anxious and avoidant attachment patterns. I unpack how these dynamics show up in my life, and how reconnecting with my centre allows me to meet these parts of myself with presence, rather than shame. This is a reflective episode about what it means to support ourselves in real time, to come home to our bodies in the midst of external change, and to extend love toward the parts of us that still fear abandonment or rejection. If you're in the midst of a transition—or just learning to hold yourself more kindly—you might find a sense of companionship here.

Embracing My Autism & Showing Up Authentically

In this episode, I share my journey of self-discovery after realising I’m autistic. I explore what this new understanding means for me, how it intersects with being a Projector in Human Design, and the impact it has on my self-perception and life choices. I also dive into core attachment wounds, C-PTSD, and the role of self-compassion in navigating these layers of identity. Most importantly, I reflect on how this knowledge is helping me show up more authentically and align with who I truly am.

Complex-PTSD, New Year Intentions and Desire Motivation

I discuss my New Years intention: where I focus on effort over results and ask myself 'what are you going to do about it?' when challenges or struggle arises. I speak about Complex-PTSd and throughout the discussion you can hear how my Desire Motivation impacts the way I show up in life. When I am in Innocence Transference I sulk and play victim, when I am in Desire Motivation I consciously show up for myself.

Human Design and Attachment Theory

After taking some time to hold space for myself as I opened up to being shown some of my deepest core wounds, I'm here to share a little about what I've noticed along the way. How my mind wielded elements of my design to keep my conditioned and stagnant and how attachment theory has played a pivotal role in my deconditioning journey and I would not be where I am without it. Thank you for being here with me on this wild ride.