Why Men Can't Access Their Feelings — And What It's Doing to Your Relationship | ft. Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

Why Men Can't Access Their Feelings — And What It's Doing to Your Relationship | ft. Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2381878/fan_mail/new] Here's something nobody told you: boys come into the world with a broader range of emotional expression than girls do. And then we spend the next 18 years systematically shutting it down. In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst — psychotherapist with over 50 years of experience and author of Read, Reflect, Respond: The Three Rs of Growth and Change — for a conversation that reframes everything you thought you knew about men and emotions. Dr. Vanderhorst has spent decades working with boys from preschool through adulthood and has watched the same pattern play out: a child with a full emotional range gets shamed, shut down, and trained out of vulnerability. Then he grows up, gets married, and his partner wonders why he won't open up. The answer isn't that he can't. It's that we taught him not to. What you'll learn in this episode: * Why boys are born more emotionally expressive than girls — and what happens to that capacity over time * How shame and social conditioning box away emotions without erasing them — and why that means it's never too late * The free feelings word list Dr. Vanderhorst swears by — and exactly where to put it in your house so it actually gets used * Why women say they want emotionally available men, then unconsciously shut them down when they try * The car, the dark room, and the bedtime cuddle — why side-by-side conversations unlock what face-to-face conversations can't * How unexpressed emotion ends up stored in the body as physical pain and illness * Why men's deepest friendships often involve zero emotional vulnerability — and what that costs them * The connection between emotional intelligence and problem-solving that most people never make * When to stop trying to fix it yourself and get outside help — and why earlier is always better Dr. Vanderhorst's free feelings word list and blog resources are available at drvandherhorst.com. Her book Read, Reflect, Respond is available on Amazon and at bookstores everywhere. 📅 Hormonal shifts affecting mood, connection, or desire in your relationship? We can help. Book a consult at reviveish.com Work with Dr. Stephanie www.reviveish.com info@reviveish.com Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here: www.EDCure.com/BTS  Connect with Between the Sheets: IG: @ReviveISH Email: podcastbetweenthesheets@gmail.com #podmatch Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

She Was in a Sexless Marriage for 26 Years — Here's How She Fixed It | ft. Xanet Pailet

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2381878/fan_mail/new] At 50, after 26 years in a sexless marriage, Xanet Pailet found herself single, living in New York City, and facing an uncomfortable truth: she had never enjoyed sex. Not once. Her imaginary dating profile read: "Smart, successful, cute — I just really hate sex." That was the wake-up call that changed everything. In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with Xanet Pailet — bestselling author of Living an Orgasmic Life and the brand new Sex and Intimacy Repair Kit, and founder of Passionate Intimacy Retreats — for one of the most candid, practical, and genuinely hopeful conversations this podcast has ever had. Xanet has now led over 100 couples retreats, holds certifications in Somatica sex and intimacy training and somatic trauma work, and yes — she enjoys sex now. (She mentioned it was Saturday morning. We love that for her.) What you'll learn in this episode: * Why sexless marriages often have nothing to do with not loving your partner — and everything to do with unhealed childhood wounds and sexual shame * What tantra actually is, why it's one of the most powerful tools for couples who feel disconnected, and how breathwork alone can begin to rebuild intimacy * Why you cannot experience pleasure when your nervous system is in fight-or-flight — and how to change that * The erotic blueprints framework and why your blueprint shifts over time (what worked at 30 won't necessarily work at 45) * The concept of core desires — the emotions underneath your fantasies — and why getting those met makes sex dramatically hotter and more consistent * Why faking orgasms is a trap, how women end up in it, and how to get out without blowing up your relationship * How to start the sexless marriage conversation with your partner without opening a bomb * What four days at an intimacy retreat actually looks like — and why Xanet insists on being in the room with couples in person Take Xanet's free intimacy style quiz at howtoimprovemylovelife.com. Find her books Living an Orgasmic Life and The Sex and Intimacy Repair Kit on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Learn about retreats at passionateintimacyretreats.com. 📅 Hormonal changes, pain with sex, or low desire making intimacy harder? Let's address the physical side. Book a consult at reviveish.com Work with Dr. Stephanie www.reviveish.com info@reviveish.com Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here: www.EDCure.com/BTS  Connect with Between the Sheets: IG: @ReviveISH Email: podcastbetweenthesheets@gmail.com #podmatch Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

Why Staying Married Is the Hardest Part — And How to Do It Anyway | ft. Bonnie Comfort

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2381878/fan_mail/new] Between years three and seven, most marriages hit a wall. The rose-colored glasses come off, the red flags you ignored start waving, and suddenly you're wondering if you chose the wrong person. Spoiler: you probably didn't. But nobody told you this was coming — and nobody taught you what to do when it does. In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with psychologist, author, and marital therapist Bonnie Comfort — yes, that's her real name — for a candid, deeply human conversation about what it actually takes to stay married. Bonnie spent 25 years in clinical practice in Portland, Oregon, and her memoir Staying Married Is the Hardest Part draws on both her professional expertise and her own 33-year marriage, which included sexual incompatibility, fetishes, infidelity, and ultimately — a love that lasted until her husband's death. What you'll learn in this episode: * Why most couples don't have a communication problem — they have an anger and resentment problem, and how to tell the difference * The 3–7 year disillusionment pattern and why it's completely normal (and survivable) * How childhood wounds show up in adult relationships as disproportionate anger — and how understanding that changes everything * Why the small daily bids for connection your partner makes matter more than grand romantic gestures * What mismatched libido and mismatched sexual desire actually look like in a long-term marriage — and what a 25-year therapist says to do about it * Why fetishes and kinks are largely not amenable to therapy — and what that means for couples navigating sexual incompatibility * How pillow talk, hot tub rituals, and 15-minute check-ins can do more for a marriage than a weekend getaway * Love languages, the Gottman bids for connection, and why doing what your partner needs instead of what you would want is the real skill Bonnie's memoir Staying Married Is the Hardest Part is available wherever books are sold. Find her at bonniecomfort.com and on Psychology Today. 📅 Hormonal changes affecting your desire, mood, or intimate relationship? We can help. Book a consult at reviveish.com Work with Dr. Stephanie www.reviveish.com info@reviveish.com Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here: www.EDCure.com/BTS  Connect with Between the Sheets: IG: @ReviveISH Email: podcastbetweenthesheets@gmail.com #podmatch Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

What Romance Novels Teach About Sex That Nobody Else Will | ft. Christina Braver

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2381878/fan_mail/new] Less than 2% of men have a penis larger than 7.5 inches. Yet nearly every romance novel hero does. And that's just one of the ways we're accidentally doing people harm — through the very stories meant to turn them on. In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with romance author Christina Braver for a conversation that's equal parts hilarious, eye-opening, and genuinely educational. Christina writes what's called "steamy open door" romance — meaning you're in the room, with all the language, dirty talk, and real human messiness that comes with it. But unlike most of the genre, her books feature heroines with endometriosis, survivors of sexual shame culture, women who can't orgasm with a partner, and men who have their own wounds around sex. Real people. Real problems. Hot outcomes. What you'll learn in this episode: * Why neuroscience says reading about sex activates your brain almost identically to having it — and why that matters for arousal and desire * How romance novels can be the safest way to explore a fantasy before ever bringing it up with your partner * The real reason women loved 50 Shades of Grey (hint: it's not the BDSM) * Why the "bigger is better" myth is actively hurting men — and what the research actually says about penis size and sexual satisfaction * How to use a book, a podcast, or a short story to start the conversation you've been afraid to have * Why vibrators are tools, not competition — and why if you can be replaced by one, that's useful information * What the menopause low libido experience actually feels like from the inside, and why your partner not wanting sex probably has nothing to do with you * The four most common female sexual fantasies — and how men can tap into them without becoming someone they're not Christina's books are available at christinabraver.com, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Kobo. Her resources tab is stacked with sexual health reads worth bookmarking. 📅 Dealing with low libido, painful sex, or hormone changes affecting your intimate life? Let's talk. Book a consult at reviveish.com Work with Dr. Stephanie www.reviveish.com info@reviveish.com Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here: www.EDCure.com/BTS  Connect with Between the Sheets: IG: @ReviveISH Email: podcastbetweenthesheets@gmail.com #podmatch Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz

They Lied About Estrogen — And Your Doctor Probably Doesn't Know It | ft. Dr. Lindsey Berkson

Send us Fan Mail [https://www.buzzsprout.com/2381878/fan_mail/new] In 2002, a press release changed everything — and it was based on no statistical evidence. The result? Hormones were pulled from medical school curricula, millions of women were scared off hormone therapy, and 25 years of patient care suffered for it. The FDA's own 28th director has since admitted: they got it wrong. In this episode of Between the Sheets with Dr. Z, Dr. Stephanie Zwonitzer, DNP sits down with returning guest Dr. Lindsey Berkson — hormone scholar, researcher, two-time cancer survivor, and author of Oxytocin Medicine — for one of the most information-dense conversations this podcast has ever had. Dr. Berkson has been working with oxytocin in clinical practice for 18 years and has 556 scientific citations in a book that's only 193 pages. She knows her stuff, and she is not pulling punches. What you'll learn in this episode: * The truth about the Women's Health Initiative and how a single press release — with no statistical backing — convinced medicine that estrogen causes breast cancer * Why hormones actually protect tumor suppressor genes — and what the science really says about estrogen, testosterone, and cancer risk * What oxytocin actually is, why it's one of the most powerful and underused hormones in medicine, and how to get it over the counter * How oxytocin works as an appetite adaptogen — helping people who overeat eat less, and helping anorexics have a healthier relationship with food * Why women make more oxytocin during sex with someone they love (yes, the science backs this up) * How oxytocin can be used for PTSD, GERD, Barrett's esophagus, inflammatory bowel disease, bone metastasis pain, and blood sugar regulation * Why men with stage four prostate cancer are now being put on testosterone — and thriving * Dr. Berkson's own cancer story, the radiation she refused, and the principal investigator who called her while she was on the table This episode is for the patient who has been told "we got it all — go home and hope for the best." There are more tools. This is where you start finding them. 📖 Book: Oxytocin Medicine by Dr. Lindsey Berkson — available wherever books are sold  📧 Reach Dr. Berkson: admin@drlindsayberkson.com [admin@drlindsayberkson.com]  📅 Ready to work with a hormone specialist who actually knows the nuances? Book a consult: reviveish.com Work with Dr. Stephanie www.reviveish.com info@reviveish.com Episode is sponsored by Boston Scientific and EDCure. For more information click here: www.EDCure.com/BTS  Connect with Between the Sheets: IG: @ReviveISH Email: podcastbetweenthesheets@gmail.com #podmatch Want to be a guest on Between the Sheets: Exploring Sexual Health & Wellness? Send Stephanie a message on PodMatch here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreviews/btswithdrz