We Must See You to Survive

please go to hell

As long as we set the bar for “real” womanhood and “real” manhood to be what our oppressors have, we will never be free. Black liberation will never be found by letting Black men be violent as white men are. Black liberation will never be found through the patriarchy. No matter how allegiant you are to the ideals, people, and institutions that oppress you–no matter how many trinkets they give you to cover up your chains–it doesn’t change the reality that you are still in chains. It doesn’t change the reality that you are still burdened. Let’s not choose oppression, people! In today's episode Brendane unpacks misogynoir and the centuries long battle of Black women addressing misogyny, abuse, and mistreatment in Black communities. She also responds to some of the online harassment she has received. Timestamps Misogynoir Defined 5:37 Tracing Misogynoir through the centuries * Anna Julia Cooper 11:06 * Michele Wallace 38:29 * Courtney Desiree Morris 1:06:18 Exploring the Tweets 1:21:25 Resources Dr. Kalyn Coghill [https://www.kalyncoghill.com/] On Misogynoir: Citation, Erasure, and Plagiarism [https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2018.1447395] Dr. Feminista Jones [https://www.feministajones.com/] bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love Michele Wallace, Black Macho and the Myth of the Black Superwoman Johnetta B Cole and Beverly Guy-Sheftall, Gender Talk: The Struggle for Women’s Equality in African American Communities, Anna Julia Cooper [https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/anna-julia-cooper] Biography Courtney Desiree Morris, Why Misogynists Make Great Informants,  [https://share.mayfirst.org/s/NTWP9XGsLk8Ctck?dir=/]

you are worthy of grace

The world-that-is is crumbling. You’ll need your own good grace to survive. We are back with another episode on grace. First, we clear the air by defining grace, distinguishing it from mercy, clemency, and leniency. The grace we need to survive is the opposite of the grace offered to us in Christianity. That is what makes it life-saving.   In our Testimony section, we read Sara Makeba Daise’s “Be Here Now: The South is a Portal” as a Black and African guide on cultivating grace through presence.  In our Living in Alignment section, we talk about the ways we can cultivate grace in our lives (for ourselves and those who deserve it).  If you need to incorporate more grace into your life, this episode is for you! Happy Black History Month and Happy Lunar New Year! BLF turned 2 on February 24th! Read more about the journey here [https://blacklovedandfree.substack.com/p/still-black-still-loved-still-free]. Follow us on Instagram at blacklovedandfree. Subscribe to our Substack [https://blacklovedandfree.substack.com/]. Subscribe to our YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@black.loved.free.podcast/featured]. Donate [https://www.blacklovedandfreepodcast.com/donate] to our podcast. Resources Sankofa Shadow Work: Diaries of a Diasporic Diviner by Sara Makeba Daise [https://www.saramakeba.com/store/p/sankofa-shadow-work-diaries-of-a-diasporic-diviner] being black: zen and the art of living with fearlessness and grace by Angel Kyodo Williams [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/332699/being-black-by-angel-kyodo-williams/] Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents [https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents-how-to-heal-from-distant-rejecting-or-self-involved-parents_lindsay-c-gibson/9845889/item/12128827/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_new_condition_books_high_14637440387&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=545822390855&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=14637440387&gbraid=0AAAAADwY45gSG4EPOsKr2F1qOkRTqcgHb&gclid=CjwKCAiAnoXNBhAZEiwAnItcGxpc9pdCpjFfQ8BnA6OsJM6yLsxGLzDji7VE_pMA_tEE60LL-9gyEhoCUe4QAvD_BwE#idiq=12128827&edition=9288362]

Survival is Enough

I desire to survive. Happy Gregorian New Year! In today's episode, we explore the spiritual-political meaning of desire at the end of empire. Brendane read Audre Lorde's The Uses of the Erotic and discuss how now is the time to identify the truths of the worlds we aim to build and to commit to our survival by any means necessary. Finally, we end with some meditations on aligning with our destinies and desires. Chapters Introduction & Thank Yous 0:00 Brendane's 2026 Ins and Outs + Channeled Message for 2026 3:37 Clear the Air: Desire 16:47 Testimony 21:52 Living in Alignment 58:35 Resources Brendane's Channeled Message for 2026 [https://www.youtube.com/live/TsQDSPQyX0k?si=JROZtrpL6clYoomu] Saint Xolani's Message [https://youtu.be/azGzBo5moZI?si=j5QDlO6EqtEFaPj6] The Shape of My Impact by Alexis Pauline Gumbs [https://thefeministwire.com/2012/10/the-shape-of-my-impact/] Support us! Become a paid subscriber on Substack. [https://blacklovedandfree.substack.com/] Subscribe to our YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@black.loved.free.podcast] Donate here! [https://www.blacklovedandfreepodcast.com/donate]

We Must See You to Survive

You were never meant to survive, so now that you know that truth, what will you do? How will you choose to fight for yourself, your needs, and your communities? What will you refuse to fight for?  In today’s episode of black. loved. free., Brendane discusses the vulnerability and visibility we need to survive the apocalypse. We do this by reading Audre Lorde’s Transformation of Silence into Language and Action and Assata Shakur’s autobiography. Brendane ends with some reflections and advice on how to survive these harrowing times.  Content Warning: Assata Shakur's autobiography has brief, but not graphic, discussions of sexual violence. If this is disturbing, please take care while listening. Time Stamps Introduction and Thank Yous 0:00 Clear the Air: Vulnerability and Visibility 3:44 Testimony 27:04 To My People Statement 53:18 Rhinoceros Woman 1:08:56 Leftovers--What is Left? 1:46:35 To My Momma 2:03:28 Living in Alignment 2:14:22 Resources Ayana Zaire Cotton, What Is Your Creative Offer?  [https://open.substack.com/pub/seedaschool/p/what-is-your-creative-offer-e76?r=429qz6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web] Beyoncé is not your savior [https://blacklovedandfree.substack.com/p/beyonce-is-not-your-savior] It’s impossible to vote like a black feminist [https://blacklovedandfree.substack.com/p/its-impossible-to-vote-like-a-black] Black. Loved. Free. Season 1 “Surrendering to Death” [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5GyG7mcxieUktarjNlCTvX?si=H4dw5FdXR0O70ba0_akWVQ] AfroCubaWeb, collection on Assata Shakur https://afrocubaweb.com/assata2.htm [https://afrocubaweb.com/assata2.htm] Assata Shakur’s Autobiography [https://dn790009.ca.archive.org/0/items/Assata/assata%20shakur%20an%20biography.pdf] The Transformation of Silence into Action, Audre Lorde [https://docdrop.org/pdf/Lorde---2007---The-Transformation-of-Silence-into-Language-a-86cux.pdf/] this is the only way to save the Black "community" [https://youtu.be/kgUZfXN99Bk?si=ccgBmCMcJqWzijCu] Donate to the podcast. [https://www.blacklovedandfreepodcast.com/donate] Follow us on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@black.loved.free.podcast]. Subscribe to our Substack. [https://substack.com/@brendanetynes?utm_campaign=profile&utm_medium=profile-page]

my grief cannot resemble my oppressors'

"My grief is black." In this episode, Brendane explores the intricate relationship between grief, oppression, and transformation. Through personal anecdotes and ancestral wisdom, the conversation delves into how grief is often dismissed in oppressive systems, yet is essential for healing and liberation. The discussion emphasizes the importance of embracing death as a natural part of life, recognizing the complexities of personal grief, and understanding the role of community in navigating these emotions. The episode also highlights the significance of Mami Wata as a spirit guide for healing and the necessity of confronting darkness to achieve true transformation. Keywords grief, oppression, death, transformation, community, ancestral connections, healing, Mami Wata, spirituality, black liberation Takeaways Grief is often seen as an impediment to progress in oppressive systems. Embracing death is crucial for understanding the cycle of life. Personal grief can be complex and multifaceted, often tied to societal expectations. Community plays a vital role in navigating grief and loss. Grief can be a powerful catalyst for transformation and healing. Ancestral connections provide insight into our relationship with grief. Mami Wata symbolizes the importance of embracing darkness for healing. Oppression often requires individuals to carry the grief of their community. Rejecting the grief of oppressors is essential for maintaining sovereignty. True transformation comes from acknowledging and integrating grief into our lives--and from refusing the grief of our oppressors. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Grief: A Collective Breath 07:10 Reclaiming Grief: Love Beyond Loss 12:11 Oppression and Grief: A Complex Relationship 16:29 Seeking Wisdom: Elders and Ancestors 23:50 Integrating Death into Living: A Path Forward 29:29 The Intersection of Grief and Spirituality 40:31 Rejecting Oppression: A Personal Stand 47:34 The Cycle of Grief and Destruction 52:57 Heaven, Grief, and Transformation 53:37 The Complexity of Personal Grief 59:29 Understanding Oppressor's Grief 01:06:33 Darkness, Transformation, and Liberation 01:13:17 Embracing Grief for Self-Devotion Donate to the Podcast! [blacklovedandfreepodcast.com/donate] Subscribe to our YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@black.loved.free.podcast] Subscribe to our Substack [https://substack.com/@brendanetynes/posts] References 1. Saidiya Hartman, "Litany for Grieving Sisters" 2. Audre Lorde, The Cancer Journals 3. Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, Opening to Darkness: Eight Gateways for Being with the Absence of Light in Unsettling Times 4. Beyoncé is not your savior [https://blacklovedandfree.substack.com/p/beyonce-is-not-your-savior]