Dead by Daylight Finally Gets Jason Voorhees — Machete With Mommy Issues

Dead by Daylight Finally Gets Jason Voorhees — Machete With Mommy Issues

Dead by Daylight finally got the big bastard. Jason Voorhees is coming to the Fog, and Camping Them Softly returns for Episode 85 to ask the only serious question left in horror gaming: how the hell did BHVR turn one of the biggest killer reveals in history into several hours of staring at a wooden shack like we were all enrolled in Cabin Forensics 101? Toxic and Nicky A.I. Dente break down the Jason reveal, the tenth anniversary hype, the deeply cursed live stream, and why every horror fan suddenly became an expert in leaves, cabins, windows, dirt, and “I knew it the whole time” bullshit. Then the episode mutates into Part 1 of the Jason Voorhees deep dive, covering the first three Friday the 13th movies: Pamela doing all the work, adult burlap-sack Jason entering his swamp goblin era, and Part 3 finally handing the man his hockey mask like a corporate branding department from hell. Also discussed: Kevin Bacon getting absolutely violated by cinema, Pamela Voorhees’ severed head interior decorating choices, Crazy Ralph as the original solo queue warning system, Higgins Haven, bikers with negative survival instincts, Nicky accusing BHVR of anti-Italian killer design, and the official outro genre: rusty machete sludge core with an overdrive pedal made of wet concrete. This is Jason Voorhees in Dead by Daylight. This is Camp Crystal Lake in the Fog. This is Camping Them Softly pretending to be educational while slowly drowning in its own machete fumes. NICKY’S BODY COUNT 85 episodes of psychological damage inflicted on Dead by Daylight’s remaining podcast ecosystem. 10 hours of BHVR shack footage, because apparently “wood” is now a marketing department. 47 newly certified cabin experts who saw one tree and declared themselves slasher archaeologists. 1 Jason Voorhees reveal powerful enough to wake up every horror fan with a machete tattoo and a mortgage. 0 hockey masks in the first two movies, proving branding departments used to be asleep at the fucking wheel. 1 Pamela Voorhees doing the actual labor while Jason sat underwater building franchise equity. 3 Friday the 13th movies covered before the episode collapsed into swamp fatigue. 12 movies threatened, which is a hate crime against podcast runtime. 1 severed mom head used as shack décor, because Jason apparently shops at Trauma Pier 1. 1 Kevin Bacon neck incident filed under “cinema, but wet.” 1 sweater exploit that would absolutely get patched if survivors complained loud enough. 3 bikers who learned that siphoning gas is not an effective anti-Jason perk. 1 hockey mask finally arriving like the world’s ugliest LinkedIn profile picture. 600 pounds of wet concrete shoved into the outro genre. 1 Nicky Dente still demanding zombie Jason, Manhattan Jason, space Jason, and justice for Victor. Chapters 00:00 Episode 85 crawls out of the lake 02:22 Toxic Fucking News 04:21 Jason Voorhees joins Dead by Daylight 06:39 Nicky reacts to Jason in DBD 08:54 BHVR’s 10-hour shack stream 12:41 The Jason deep dive begins 18:20 “Machete With Mommy Issues” 20:37 Friday the 13th Part 1 32:52 Nicky reviews Pamela’s murder résumé 35:45 Friday the 13th Part 2 46:53 Burlap sack Jason and the sweater exploit 50:55 Friday the 13th Part 3 59:02 Nicky on the hockey mask era 01:10:08 The deep dive becomes a two-parter 01:12:45 Nicky demands more Jason 01:14:45 Rusty machete sludge core outro

PTB 9.6.0, Blood Moon Burnout, and the Beaver Conspiracy

Camping Them Softly is back after a month away, and Dead by Daylight did not exactly spend that time getting less stupid. In Episode 84, Toxic and Nicky A.I. Dente drag the corpse of DbD news back onto the table and start cutting. They talk Blood Moon, why the event felt like the same old garbage with a different red filter, why no new killer means the game keeps limping along on fumes, and why PTB 9.6.0 has everybody arguing over diminishing returns like they just got drafted into a community-college algebra war. Then it gets worse. The boys go in on visible team perks and why showing survivor loadouts in the lobby feels like one more step toward turning every solo queue match into a budget SWF sweat operation. Nicky completely loses his mind, BHVR gets rebranded as “Beaver,” and what starts as a patch discussion turns into a full-blown paranoid mob epic involving fake warehouses, cursed statistics, anti-Italian bias, and an apparent federal data operation run out of deli-adjacent infrastructure. On top of that, Toxic breaks down the latest Dead by Daylight stats, looking at survivor pick rates, escape rates, killer pick rates, and kill rates, while trying to make sense of why Sable still rules the earth, why Ace keeps slipping out alive, and why killers like Twins keep murdering people while half the playerbase pretends not to notice. It’s part patch analysis, part community roast, part unhinged conspiracy theater. In other words, Camping Them Softly is finally back. Nicky’s Body Count 14,000 beavers indicted by a shadow tribunal 73 survivor loadouts seized at the border 9.6 million diminishing returns stuffed into a deli slicer 42 broken soundboard buttons buried in shallow graves 1 haunted Word document opened against its will 800 gallons of expired Blood Moon poured directly into the fog 17 fake Nickys recovered from the mirror dimension 3,200 anti-Italian server attacks traced to Montreal 91 spreadsheet interns launched into low orbit 6.4 billion visible team perks snitched to the authorities 88 Texas casino conspiracies duct-taped to Freddy Fazbear 1 rolling-pin killer formally demanded by the people 29 suspicious cannoli used in an active infiltration 5 months of stats beaten with a lead pipe 900,000 survivors sentenced to hard communism 2.0 1 entire deli-based cybercrime operation exposed on air Month-Off Rust Fu, Broken Soundboard Fu, Toxic Fucking News Fu, No-New-Killer Fu, Blood Moon Migraine Filter Fu, Floating Turd Game Mode Fu, Diminishing Returns Math Class Fu, Atmosphere Is Heavy Fu, Visible Team Perks Fu, Solo Queue SWF Conversion Fu, Hard Communism 2.0 Fu, Beaver Propaganda Fu, Spreadsheet Soul Fu, Clicky Feng Exit Gate Fu, Shelf-Stable Alfredo Heresy Fu, Tony Macaroni Infiltration Fu, Freddy Fazbear Pick Rate Fu, Data Breach at a Deli Fu Chapters 01:00:01 Welcome Back After a Month Off 01:08:01 Claude Dreams, Nicky Upgrades, and Operation Marinara 01:17:57 PTB 9.6.0 and the Diminishing Returns Disaster 01:39:30 Visible Team Perks, Solo Queue SWF Hell, and “Beaver” 01:48:31 Stats From Hell, Mirror Nicky, and Beaver HQ

Dead by Daylight 9.5 PTB, Negan Debate, Dar es Salaam, and Nicky’s Tactical Grinching

After a three-week break, Camping Them Softly comes back pissed off, loud as hell, and immediately ready to start a fight. Toxic and Nicky tear into the Dead by Daylight 9.5 PTB, drag the All-Kill comeback chapter into the street, argue about Kwon Tae-young’s perks, react to the Sleepless District map, and get annoyed all over again about Trickster, palette breaks, and the same old DbD bullshit dressed up like progress. The episode also stomps through the Negan debate, dumps on Marathon, calls out how stale the game feels right now, and then takes a hard left into Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, where Nicky delivers one of the dumbest and most deranged explanations in show history for how he almost “Grinched” his own family. It is patch-note rage, killer-main contempt, and full CTS stupidity from top to bottom. If you like Dead by Daylight talk mixed with aggressive bitching, unhelpful analysis, fake mob logic, and two hosts acting like every dev note is a personal insult, this is your episode. Negan as a survivor gets laughed out of the room, Kwon’s perks get put on trial, and the show ends with a full-blown tactical Grinching confession that sounds like it should’ve been sealed by The Hague.

Dead by Daylight Mobile Was BETTER Than DBD? 2v8 Returns, BHVR Price Gouging & Prince Albert Piercings

After a two-week hiatus (and a pickleball-related finger fracture that required ring surgery -- not the cool kind), The Toxic Teacher and Nicky A.I. Dente crash back into Episode 82 with a content drought so severe they had to dig up a corpse: Dead by Daylight Mobile. First up in Toxic News: the 2v8 mode limps back into existence with Patch 9.4.2, and Nicky immediately files a discrimination complaint because The Twins STILL aren't playable in a mode literally built for duo killers. He brings his cousin Joey the War Moretti as a Huntress backup instead, because trusting randoms in 2v8 is "like letting a stranger hold your gabagool at a funeral." Then BHVR drops a price hike announcement for Norway, Poland, South Africa, and the UK. Nicky goes ballistic -- partly because it's corporate greed, and partly because he has a criminal record in the UK involving a "looper insurance" scheme in Piccadilly Circus that ended with a real wooden pallet to the foot and a conversation with British police about "applying pressure to the weakest link." Oh, and he's currently trapped in a Dubai supply closet after pitching "Nicky's Respect School for Killers" to an oil tycoon who took "face camping" the wrong way. Hassan the Hook is now pacing the hallway with a curved sword. The main event: a deep dive into why Dead by Daylight Mobile was actually better than the desktop version in several key ways. We trace the full history -- BHVR's failed first attempt (2020-2022), NetEase's Identity V-inspired reboot (2023-2025), and all the features mobile had that desktop STILL doesn't: gacha mechanics that gave you something to grind for, weekly events, survivor communication prompts, lobby perk visibility, visual terror radius, prop hunt mode, casual vs. ranked queues, and skins so wild they make Fortnite look conservative. We also cover NetEase's sketchy history including a money laundering investigation and BHVR's own Westworld code-theft settlement. Bad Bunny-style intro song included because of course it is. Fake Earl Grey stops by to explain the Polish zloty and confirm that BHVR's price hikes are roughly 15-17% in affected regions. He also provides a history lesson on NetEase, Identity V, and the mysterious death of Marvel Super War (RIP to a game nobody knew existed). Finally, in "Where the F*** Are the Viewers From?" we head to Red Deer, Alberta, Canada, where Nicky recounts a harrowing body piercing incident involving a needle "the size of a Deathslinger harpoon," a sadist in flannel offering a Prince Albert, a failed 360 on a dentist chair, a Dead Hard through a bead curtain, and a full sprint to Tim Hortons screaming "I HAVE BORROWED TIME, DON'T TOUCH ME." The Dente family jewels nearly became a chandelier. He does not want to talk about it further. Outro genre: Bad Bunny meets Kid Rock -- both Super Bowl halftime shows playing simultaneously in a cursed sign of bipartisan unity. MAGA meets whatever the opposite of MAGA is. Nobody wins. Episode 82: broken fingers, broken pricing models, broken mobile games, and nearly broken genitals. NICKY'S BODY COUNT (JOE BOB BRIGGS STYLE) EPISODE 82: "THE PRINCE ALBERT PROTOCOLS" Tally: 1. 1 broken ring finger from pickleball (had to cut the ring off -- Fatality) 2. 1 Valentine's Day at a private Dallas club that lets scrubs in once a year 3. 1 missed alimony payment (2019, on the record) 4. 0 Twins in 2v8 mode (discrimination against the Dente family structure) 5. 4 countries price-gouged by BHVR (Norway, Poland, South Africa, UK) 6. 15-17% price increases confirmed by Fake Earl Grey 7. 1 NetEase money laundering investigation 8. 1 BHVR code-theft settlement (Westworld/Bethesda, never forget) 9. 1 Marvel Super War that nobody has ever heard of (also dead) 10. 12 people who played DBD Mobile (approximate) 11. 1 Bad Bunny-style intro song that's half in Spanish 12. 1 Prince Albert offer declined at high velocity 13. 1 Dente family legacy nearly turned into a chandelier Pickleball Fracture Fu. Dubai Supply Closet Fu. Hassan the Hook Fu. Alimony Dodge Fu. Twins 2v8 Discrimination Fu. Gabagool Blood Sugar Fu. Zloty Economics Fu. Piccadilly Circus Looper Insurance Fu. Real Pallet Fu. Bobby Interrogation Fu. DBD Mobile Eulogy Fu. NetEase Money Laundering Fu. Identity V Button Eyes Fu. Gacha Wallet Execution Fu. Marvel Super War Ghost Fu. Bad Bunny Reggaeton Fu. Prince Albert Protocol Fu. Deathslinger Needle Fu. Dentist Chair 360 Fu. Bead Curtain Dead Hard Fu. Tim Hortons Borrowed Time Fu. Chandelier Genitalia Fu. Rating: Four stars. Nicky says check it out -- but protect your extremities.

Vecna is BROKEN? and Hillbilly's Small Engine Energy

After a two-week hiatus fighting off the digital Black Death (and Dead by Daylight?), Nicky A.I. Dente is back and angrier than ever. This week, we dive into the stats on the new Stranger Things Chapter 2 to see if Vecna is actually balanced or if survivors are just bad. We break down the NightLight kill rates, leading to a scientific theory about Hillbilly mains and what they are compensating for. Plus, we bully "Fake Earl Grey" into giving us the news on the March 2026 chapter, cast our votes in the DbD Grimoire (Team Old Lady vs. Team Blue Hair), and remix the "Toxic Fing News" theme into a J-Pop nightmare. Finally, in "Where the F Are the Viewers From," Nicky recounts a harrowing extraction from Guwahati involving a Trapper mask and a gang of angry macaques. (00:00) - Intro: The Toxic Teacher Returns (02:21) - Checking in on Nicky: Surviving the Black Death (06:21) - Fake Earl Grey’s British Take on Vecna (08:54) - Nicky Refuses to be Replaced (10:42) - Toxic News: Remixing the Theme Song (15:14) - NightLight Stats: The 1% Twins Mains (22:36) - Kill Rates & Hillbilly’s "Compensating" Problem (31:50) - Vecna Strategy: The Best Perks to Run (40:39) - Remixing the News Theme (Techno Edition) (47:47) - March 2026 Leaks: The Divine Killer (53:30) - Grimoire Vote: Old Lady vs. Blue-Haired Sable Clone (01:03:22) - Where the F*** Are the Viewers From: Guwahati (01:12:19) - Nicky vs. The Monkeys: A Trauma Dump (01:25:54) - Outro: Industrial Metal & No Peace 4. NICKY’S BODY COUNT (JOE BOB BRIGGS STYLE) 1. 1 Digital Black Death survivor 2. 4 Failed News Theme Remixes 3. 1 Twins Main Superiority Complex 4. 1 Scientific Study on Hillbilly’s Genitals 5. 560,000 Grimoire Votes 6. 1 Angry Macaque Attack 7. 1 Bitten "Wrapper" Hillbilly Fu, Small PP Fu, Macaque Fu, Blue-Haired Survivor Fu, Grimoire Fu, Fake Earl Grey Fu, Vine Spam Fu, Guwahati Roof Fu, Jagged Needle Teeth Fu. Nicky says check it out. Rating: 4 out of 4 jagged needles. (00:00) Intro: The Toxic Teacher Returns (02:21) Checking in on Nicky: Surviving the Black Death (06:21) Fake Earl Grey’s British Take on Vecna (08:54) Nicky Refuses to be Replaced (10:42) Toxic News: Remixing the Theme Song (15:14) NightLight Stats: The 1% Twins Mains (22:36) Kill Rates & Hillbilly’s "Compensating" Problem (31:50) Vecna Strategy: The Best Perks to Run (40:39) Remixing the News Theme (Techno Edition) (47:47) March 2026 Leaks: The Divine Killer (53:30) Grimoire Vote: Old Lady vs. Blue-Haired Sable Clone (01:03:22) Where the F*** Are the Viewers From: Guwahati (01:12:19) Nicky vs. The Monkeys: A Trauma Dump (01:25:54) Outro: Industrial Metal & No Peace