Chickens Are The New Kittens

The ABC’s Of Our Week

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, we kick things off with weekly recaps—told in an ABC format. What starts as a simple catch-up quickly turns into a discussion about our ever-growing collections of unread books and whether buying more books and actually reading them are even related hobbies at this point. Along the way, a little alcohol is involved, which may or may not contribute to the number of tangents we take. We also dive into ideas for our long-awaited matching best friend tattoos, exploring everything from meaningful to slightly ridiculous. If you enjoy books, friendship, laughter, and conversations that rarely stay on track, welcome! You’re among friends!

Two Girls: 101 Allegations

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, the girls peck through 101 personality traits to determine whether each one belongs to Beth, Chelsey, both, or neither. Between bites of Qdoba and several emotionally charged accusations, they discover one of them may actually be “Feral but Functional” while the other is just one match stick away from a felony. There’s bickering, there’s awareness, there’s at least one category that causes immediate defensive squawking. Chelsey spends much of the episode dramatically reminding everyone how late it is, like an exhausted barn cat that missed its bedtime. Somehow the girls mostly agree on who’s chaotic, who’s delusional, and who would absolutely survive by in a horror film. It’s part friendship quiz, part emotional support group, and part two chickens fighting over the same popcorn kernel in a Target parking lot.

We Trained For This: DeLuLu Olympics

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth and Chelsey enter the Delulu Olympics, where confidence is high, qualifications are low, and absolutely nobody is prepared. From fake athlete personas to wildly inflated self-belief, the women compete in events like Financial Gymnastics, the Overthinking Floor Routine, and Delusional Confidence. They debate whether impulsive hobbies, emotional support purchases, and life decisions made during Target trips are delusional, iconic, or somehow both. Along the way, Beth overanalyzes innocent text messages, Chelsey defends her “expertise” after one YouTube video, and both discover they may deserve gold medals in retail therapy. There are questionable life choices, rapid-fire chaos, and just enough self-awareness to make it dangerous. Add in Airheads, minimal distractions for once, and fits of laughter, and you’ve got Olympics like no other. Honestly, they trained for this.

Real, Fake, or Wisconsin

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth and Chelsey play “Real, Fake, or Wisconsin News,” trying to figure out whether bizarre headlines are real, completely made up, or somehow happened right here in our backyard. The stories get weird and unhinged, and there are way too many moments where the answer could honestly be all three. Along the way, the conversation spirals into hyper-specific Wisconsin experiences and references that only locals would truly understand. Things completely fall apart when we casually discover Chelsey doesn’t know the difference between deviled eggs and egg salad, sending Beth into immediate disbelief and giggles. It’s chaotic, oddly relatable, aggressively Midwestern, and feels more like two friends spiraling at a kitchen table than a podcast episode.

Love Actually and Other Tangents

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth, Chelsey, and their friend JJ sit down for a conversation that starts with doing their nails and quickly turns into a deep dive on love, relationships, and connection. Along the way, they spiral into tangents about food, ADHD, life experiences, sobriety, and the weird ways our brains work. Some moments are hilarious, some get unexpectedly emotional, and a few feel a little too relatable. The trio talks about what love is, what it isn’t, and how friendship can sometimes carry us through the hardest seasons. There’s laughter, honesty, chaos, and probably a snack discussion or two because this was recorded on cinco de mayo! Like most episodes, the conversation bounces all over the place, but somehow always finds its way back to the heart of things. It’s messy, funny, thoughtful, and feels more like hanging out with friends than listening to a podcast.