Two Girls: 101 Allegations

Two Girls: 101 Allegations

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, the girls peck through 101 personality traits to determine whether each one belongs to Beth, Chelsey, both, or neither. Between bites of Qdoba and several emotionally charged accusations, they discover one of them may actually be “Feral but Functional” while the other is just one match stick away from a felony. There’s bickering, there’s awareness, there’s at least one category that causes immediate defensive squawking. Chelsey spends much of the episode dramatically reminding everyone how late it is, like an exhausted barn cat that missed its bedtime. Somehow the girls mostly agree on who’s chaotic, who’s delusional, and who would absolutely survive by in a horror film. It’s part friendship quiz, part emotional support group, and part two chickens fighting over the same popcorn kernel in a Target parking lot.

We Trained For This: DeLuLu Olympics

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth and Chelsey enter the Delulu Olympics, where confidence is high, qualifications are low, and absolutely nobody is prepared. From fake athlete personas to wildly inflated self-belief, the women compete in events like Financial Gymnastics, the Overthinking Floor Routine, and Delusional Confidence. They debate whether impulsive hobbies, emotional support purchases, and life decisions made during Target trips are delusional, iconic, or somehow both. Along the way, Beth overanalyzes innocent text messages, Chelsey defends her “expertise” after one YouTube video, and both discover they may deserve gold medals in retail therapy. There are questionable life choices, rapid-fire chaos, and just enough self-awareness to make it dangerous. Add in Airheads, minimal distractions for once, and fits of laughter, and you’ve got Olympics like no other. Honestly, they trained for this.

Real, Fake, or Wisconsin

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth and Chelsey play “Real, Fake, or Wisconsin News,” trying to figure out whether bizarre headlines are real, completely made up, or somehow happened right here in our backyard. The stories get weird and unhinged, and there are way too many moments where the answer could honestly be all three. Along the way, the conversation spirals into hyper-specific Wisconsin experiences and references that only locals would truly understand. Things completely fall apart when we casually discover Chelsey doesn’t know the difference between deviled eggs and egg salad, sending Beth into immediate disbelief and giggles. It’s chaotic, oddly relatable, aggressively Midwestern, and feels more like two friends spiraling at a kitchen table than a podcast episode.

Love Actually and Other Tangents

This week on Chickens Are the New Kittens, Beth, Chelsey, and their friend JJ sit down for a conversation that starts with doing their nails and quickly turns into a deep dive on love, relationships, and connection. Along the way, they spiral into tangents about food, ADHD, life experiences, sobriety, and the weird ways our brains work. Some moments are hilarious, some get unexpectedly emotional, and a few feel a little too relatable. The trio talks about what love is, what it isn’t, and how friendship can sometimes carry us through the hardest seasons. There’s laughter, honesty, chaos, and probably a snack discussion or two because this was recorded on cinco de mayo! Like most episodes, the conversation bounces all over the place, but somehow always finds its way back to the heart of things. It’s messy, funny, thoughtful, and feels more like hanging out with friends than listening to a podcast.

Best Day Ever

Beth and Chelsey are coming in hot with a full recap of what might actually be the best day ever—and no, they’re not exaggerating. It kicks off with a cozy, indulgent lunch at Le Reve Patisserie & Café, setting the tone for a day that just kept getting better. From there, they get swept into the magic of Alice in Wonderland Ballet Milwaukee, fully embracing the whimsy, the artistry, and the “we should do this more often” energy. They wander through resale shops: bookstores and clothing racks alike, finding little gems and giving main character energy the whole way through. A stop at the lively Milwaukee Public Market rounds out the adventure with good food, good vibes, and zero rush to be anywhere else. Somewhere in the middle (and honestly, throughout), they’re playing rummy, talking, laughing, doing a little friendly bickering, and leaning into the kind of ease that’s rare and wildly underrated. This episode isn’t about chasing perfection—it’s about recognizing it when it quietly shows up. It’s a reminder that sometimes the best days don’t need to be planned to death, they just need the right company, a little curiosity, and space to enjoy it all.