Working with Resistant, Reluctant or Disengaged Clients

Working with Resistant, Reluctant or Disengaged Clients

In this episode, I’m talking about one of the more uncomfortable dynamics in coaching: working with disengaged, resistant, or uncooperative clients. Many coaches take client disengagement personally or immediately assume something is “wrong” with the coaching process. But very often, resistance communicates something important about the client’s experience, the organizational context, the coaching relationship, or the way change itself is being perceived. My perspective is that disengagement should be treated as process information rather than personal failure. I wanted to approach this topic with more nuance and compassion, especially in organizational coaching where sponsorship dynamics, psychological safety, performance pressure, and lack of choice can significantly influence engagement. I talk about: * Why clients may resist or disengage in coaching sessions, especially in organizational settings; * Why over-functioning as a coach can unintentionally increase client passivity; * The importance of rapport, transparency, and clarifying coaching expectations early on; * How coaches may unknowingly contribute to resistance; * What relational dynamics may actually be communicating; * How to address ruptures in the coaching relationship instead of avoiding them. I share reflections from my own coaching practice, including situations where clients openly questioned the value of coaching, struggled to trust the process, or participated without genuine buy-in. These moments can feel uncomfortable, but they often contain valuable information about how people experience support, authority, vulnerability, and change. This episode is also an invitation to approach resistance with more curiosity instead of defensiveness. Sometimes the most productive thing a coach can do is slow down, acknowledge what is happening relationally, and create space for an honest conversation about the process itself. If you work with leaders, organizational clients, or simply want to develop a more relational approach to coaching, this episode will give you practical ideas for navigating disengagement without collapsing into rescuing, over-control, or self-doubt. In the next episode, we’ll continue the theme of resistance from a different angle. We’ll talk about coaches’ relationship with marketing and why so many well trained and highly skilled practitioners still struggle to talk about their work openly. I’ll share some reflections on how marketing often becomes emotionally loaded, what helped me rethink it in a healthier way, and how to communicate your value without feeling fake, pushy, or transactional. Enjoy other free materials: Free Coaching Course for People Leaders: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/basic-coaching-skills-for-new-leaders [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/basic-coaching-skills-for-new-leaders] Mock ICF Credentialing Exam (PCC, MCC) from UpThink Coaching: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/mock-icf-credentialing-exam-pcc-mcc [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/mock-icf-credentialing-exam-pcc-mcc] PCC Marker Demo: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/pcc-marker-demo-session [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/pcc-marker-demo-session] Next ICF-Accredited Coach Training Programs (for coaches who want to work at depth): ACC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/] PCC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/]

Working with Energy Shifts in Coaching

In this episode, I’m talking about energy shifts in coaching and what it actually means to work with them in a grounded, non-mystical way. For many coaches, this can feel unclear or even a bit uncomfortable. You might notice something change in the session, but then question yourself: did something really shift, is it relevant, or am I overinterpreting? Let’s bring more precision to this. Energy shifts are not about guessing or intuition in a vague sense. They are part of process information — observable changes in how the client is engaging in the moment. This can show up in pacing, tone, pauses, level of engagement, or emotional activation. I talk about: * What energy shifts actually are and how to recognize them through observable, in-the-moment cues; * Why process information matters just as much as content for coaching outcomes; * How working with shifts supports deeper awareness and emotional processing; * The link between noticing shifts and strengthening the coaching relationship; * What happens when shifts are missed or ignored in a session. I share a few practical principles and also walk through real examples of how subtle changes in a client’s energy can open up deeper, more meaningful work, if you stay with them. If you want to move beyond content-focused coaching and develop more precision in how you work with what is happening in the session itself, this episode will give you a clear and practical way to approach it. In the next episode, we’ll look at a different challenge: working with uncooperative or disengaged clients. Stay tuned.   Enjoy other free materials: Free Coaching Course for People Leaders: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/basic-coaching-skills-for-new-leaders Mock ICF Credentialing Exam (PCC, MCC) from UpThink Coaching: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/mock-icf-credentialing-exam-pcc-mcc PCC Marker Demo: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/pcc-marker-demo-session Next ICF-Accredited Coach Training Programs (for coaches who want to work at depth): ACC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/] PCC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/]

Coaching Effectiveness: Key Factors and Measurement

In this episode, I’m talking about measuring coaching results and how to know if your work is actually effective. If you’re newer, this can be especially tricky. You don’t yet have a long track record, and it’s not always clear what you can confidently say about outcomes. So you hesitate or default to vague language, which does not sound convincing. Let’s look at what actually drives coaching effectiveness. It’s not just what the coach does. It’s a combination of client readiness, coach capability, the quality of the relationship, and the client’s real-life context. I talk about: * What “ready for coaching” really means and how to recognise it during discovery calls; * A range of factors that make a difference to results; * The role of the working alliance (the coaching relationship); * How context (timing, environment, support) can either support or block change; * What levels of results you can observe. And I touch on how to use pre–post comparisons without turning coaching into evaluation, so you can track progress without losing the quality of the relationship. If you want a clearer way to talk about results and to understand what’s really changing for your clients, this episode will give you a practical structure to work with. In the next episode, we’ll talk about “energy shifts” in coaching: what that actually means and how to work with it. Enjoy other free materials: Free Coaching Course for People Leaders: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/basic-coaching-skills-for-new-leaders [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/basic-coaching-skills-for-new-leaders] Mock ICF Credentialing Exam (PCC, MCC) from UpThink Coaching: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/mock-icf-credentialing-exam-pcc-mcc [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/mock-icf-credentialing-exam-pcc-mcc] PCC Marker Demo: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/pcc-marker-demo-session [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/pcc-marker-demo-session] Next ICF-Accredited Coach Training Programs (for coaches who want to work at depth): ACC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/] PCC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/]

Working with Metaphors

In this episode, I am talking about working with metaphors in coaching — one of the most powerful ways to deepen awareness in a session. Metaphors show up naturally in how clients speak. We look at how to notice metaphors that actually matter, how to stay with them in a way that supports the client’s thinking, and how to use them to create meaningful shifts without turning the session into something abstract or disconnected from the client’s goal. I talk about: * How to recognize which metaphors are worth exploring * What makes a metaphor “alive” and useful in the moment * How to explore a metaphor through simple, clean questions without leading the client * Ways to deepen the metaphor using sensory detail and embodiment * How to create shifts inside the metaphor and then connect them back to real action * And where coaches may take a less effective path. I also share real question examples that support the metaphor work in different ways. If you’re a coach who wants to work at more depth without adding unnecessary complexity, this episode will give you a practical way to start using metaphors more intentionally and more effectively. In the next episode, we’ll shift the angle a bit and talk about the conditions that actually make coaching effective. I’ll bring in both research and field experience to explore what really drives impact in coaching conversations. If you want to watch an interview with an experienced Clean Language coach and watch a coaching demo that only uses metaphors, we have one on our YouTube Channel. Here's the link: https://youtu.be/V-rf5oZtdcE?si=7JbzWVUw0wB7eons [https://youtu.be/V-rf5oZtdcE?si=7JbzWVUw0wB7eons] Let's connect! Connect with me on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/luba-diasamidze/) or send an email at info@upthinkcoaching.com Enjoy other free materials: Free Coaching Course for People Leaders: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/basic-coaching-skills-for-new-leaders [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/basic-coaching-skills-for-new-leaders] Mock ICF Credentialing Exam (PCC, MCC) from UpThink Coaching: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/mock-icf-credentialing-exam-pcc-mcc [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/mock-icf-credentialing-exam-pcc-mcc] PCC Marker Demo: upthinkcoaching.podia.com/pcc-marker-demo-session [http://upthinkcoaching.podia.com/pcc-marker-demo-session] Next ICF-Accredited Coach Training Programs (for coaches who want to work at depth): ACC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/] PCC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/]

When and How to Interrupt in Coaching Sessions

In this episode, I talk about interruptions in coaching — a topic that brings up a lot of questions and uncertainty for coaches. Many coaches were taught that good coaching means letting the client speak without interruption. So when a client talks for a long time, goes in circles, or drifts away from the goal of the session, coaches often hesitate. They wonder: Am I allowed to interrupt? Does that mean I’m not listening well enough? Will it damage the relationship? This episode looks at interruptions from the perspective of professional coaching competencies and real coaching practice. Interruption is not automatically a mistake. When it is done with a clear coaching purpose and in service of the client’s process, it can become a useful intervention. In this episode, I talk about: * What core coaching competencies say about interruptions; * What “a clear coaching purpose” for interruption actually means; * How to contract with clients around interruptions so they understand when and why you might step in; * How to navigate the relational side of interruptions, including fears about breaking rapport and why repair is a normal part of a strong coaching relationship; * How to check your own internal motives before stepping in, so the intervention truly serves the client. I briefly walk through the most common questions I hear from coaches about interruptions: ethical concerns, fears about power dynamics, worries about damaging the relationship, and uncertainty about when the timing is right. If you’ve ever wondered whether interrupting a client is appropriate in coaching  and how to do it in a way that supports awareness and forward movement this episode will give you a clearer way to think about it. In the next episode, we’ll talk about metaphors in coaching. When a client says something like “I feel stuck” or “It’s like I’m carrying the whole company on my back,” what do you actually do with that? How do metaphors open insight, and when can they take the conversation off track?   Enjoy other free materials: * Free Coaching Course for People Leaders: podia.com/basic-coaching-skills-for-new-leaders * Mock ICF Credentialing Exam (PCC, MCC) from UpThink Coaching: podia.com/mock-icf-credentialing-exam-pcc-mcc * PCC Marker Demo: podia.com/pcc-marker-demo-session * Next ICF-Accredited Coach Training Programs (for coaches who want to work at depth): * ACC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/become-a-coach/] * PCC Path: https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/ [https://upthinkcoaching.com/coach-training-development/the-path-to-excellence-for-certified-coaches/]