Rethinking Separation: Insights with Professor Anne Barlow

Rethinking Separation: Insights with Professor Anne Barlow

In this episode of Conflict to Connection, Mitch Wilkins and Bill Hewlett speak with Professor Anne Barlow (University of Exeter) about the gaps in the family justice system and how current separation processes can unintentionally increase conflict. Drawing on decades of socio-legal research, Anne reflects on why reforms designed to encourage mediation have instead led to confusion and reduced access to support. The conversation explores emotional readiness, power imbalances, and inconsistencies in mediation practice. Alongside a powerful case for child-inclusive approaches and ensuring children’s voices are meaningfully heard. This is a thoughtful and evidence-led discussion for anyone interested in how we can better support families through separation. What listeners will gain * A clearer understanding of why the current system struggles to support families effectively * Insight into how policy decisions impact real-life separation experiences * A deeper awareness of emotional readiness and its role in mediation * Practical thinking around improving outcomes through earlier and better support * A strong evidence-based case for including children in the process Who this episode is for * Family law professionals and mediators * Policymakers and those interested in justice reform * Professionals supporting separating families * Parents navigating separation who want to better understand the system Follow and support Anne's New Book: Children’s Voices, Family Disputes and Child-Inclusive Mediation - The Right to Be Heard [https://bristoluniversitypress.co.uk/childrens-voices-family-disputes-and-child-inclusive-mediation] By Anne Barlow and Jan Ewing   Follow Conflict to Connection on Spotify and leave a review if this episode resonated. Find further support at civilisedseparations.co.uk

Q&A: How to handle alienation, why we recommend separation and more

What this episode is about In this Q&A episode of Conflict to Connection, the team answers real questions from parents about separation, children, and conflict. The discussion challenges the belief that separation harms children and explains why ongoing parental conflict is the real risk factor. The episode also explores children’s attachment to their parents, the limits of legal solutions, and why repairing the co-parenting relationship matters more than winning a dispute. This is a reflective, experience-led conversation for parents who want to protect their children emotionally during and after separation. Questions answered in this episode * Does separation harm children? * Why does conflict affect children more than divorce itself? * Do children always want a relationship with both parents? * Why might children return to a parent who has hurt them? * Are one-lawyer-for-one-couple arrangements helpful? * Why do families lose faith in collaborative law? * What is missing from legal-only approaches to separation? * What actually helps in situations labelled as parental alienation? What listeners will gain * A clearer understanding of what children are responding to during separation. * Reassurance for parents questioning whether they are doing the right thing. * Insight into why relationship repair matters more than legal positioning. * A compassionate reframing of parental alienation. * A practical example of how acknowledgement can reopen blocked relationships. Who this episode is for * Parents navigating separation or divorce. * Parents worried about the emotional impact on their children. * Parents experiencing distance or rejection from their child. * Professionals supporting separating families. Follow and support Follow Conflict to Connection on Spotify and leave a review if this episode resonated. Find further support at civilisedseparations.co.uk [http://civilisedseparations.co.uk]. Follow us: TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparations] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/] YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/@CivilisedSeparations]

Don't go to court, go to Child Inclusive Mediation - Mabel Edge, Children 1st Mediation

Children don’t need to be in the middle to be heard. In this episode, Mable Edge from Children 1st Mediation joins Conflict to Connection to unpack the realities of Child Inclusive Mediation - What works, what doesn’t, and why the system still struggles to centre children’s voices. A powerful conversation about reform, responsibility, and doing better for families. This episode is essential listening for mediators, lawyers, and parents who want better outcomes for children and a more humane approach to separation.

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Kids

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Children Have you ever wondered what the greatest gift you could give your child might be?Most parents think it’s love, protection and stability. Of course, those things matter. But in this episode of Conflict to Connection, we explore something deeper. Something harder. What if the greatest gift you can give your child… is the ability to cope, even when everything feels like it’s falling apart? Whether you're going through separation, parenting solo, or trying to do better after a high-conflict split, this episode is for you.We talk about the emotional resilience that children need to thrive — and how that often comes from watching you model calm, courage and compassion when it would be easier to give in to fear, anger or frustration. From the heartbreak of drop-off at nursery, to your child telling you they “don’t want to see the other parent,” we unpack what these moments really mean — and how to respond in a way that supports their long-term emotional wellbeing.Because co-parenting isn’t just about logistics. It’s about the emotional environment you’re creating, day by day, moment by moment.What you'll hear in this episode: * Why children sometimes need you to do the thing they’re begging you not to * What your child is really saying when they want to reject a parent * The difference between giving a child a voice — and giving them responsibility * How subtle conflict in the home can shape your child’s sense of identity * Why unity (even in small doses) is the secret to long-term resilience * The emotional cost of rumination, blame and resentment — and what to do instead * How even alienated or excluded parents can still show up and offer emotional support * The power of “Name it to Tame it” and how to co-regulate with your child during big changes One thing to take away: Even if you can’t do everything, you can still do one thing that matters.And that one thing — a moment of unity, a message of hope, a decision to model calm instead of chaos — might be the very thing your child remembers ten years from now. Find us at: https://www.civilisedseparations.co.uk/ [https://www.civilisedseparations.co.uk/] https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparations [https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparations] https://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/ [https://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/\] Civilised Separations on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/company/civilisedseparations/] If you need support with your separation, book a free consultation call today. [https://calendly.com/bella-billhewlett/initial-consultation?utm_source=website&utm_medium=booking_page&utm_campaign=lead_gen&utm_id=AO]

Good Lawyers Don't Let You Go To Court - Sam Woodham, The Divorce Surgery

Welcome back to Conflict to Connection for Season 2!We're kicking off with a really interesting conversation with Samantha Woodham, Co-Founder of The Divorce Surgery, about why good lawyers don't let you go to court. Most families don't need litigation when they divorce, they need compassion, clarity on the legal and financial aspects, and support from other professionals with different skillsets to help support them on the coparenting part of their journey. In this episode, we discuss how Sam's revolutionary one-couple, one-lawyer, model is changing how couples are divorcing in the UK by shifting from an adversarial approach to a more amicable one.We explore:➡️ Why the legal system often makes separation harder than it needs to be➡️ How shared legal advice can reduce conflict, cost and stress➡️ Why the support that most parents need during divorce isn't legal, it's relational➡️ The power of mindset, messaging, and keeping children at the heart of the process➡️ How lawyers, mediators and co‑parenting experts can work better togetherLet us know what you think, and how you think divorce could be changed for the better. Remember to hit subscribe and share with anyone who might find this useful!For more information:Civilised Separations💻 https://www.civilisedseparations.co.uk/📹 https://www.tiktok.com/@civilisedseparations📸 https://www.instagram.com/civilisedseparations/🗄️ https://www.linkedin.com/company/civilisedseparations/The Divorce Surgery💻 https://www.thedivorcesurgery.co.uk/📹 https://www.tiktok.com/@divorcesurgery📸 https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcesurgery/?hl=en-gb🗄️ https://www.linkedin.com/in/the-divorce-surgery-b946a3164/