i have existential stage fright 😳

the summer hikaru died asks a terrifying question: what if your best friend came back different?

what would you do if someone you loved died… and then came back?in this episode of cozy in the shade, i’m talking about the anime the summer hikaru died and the question that kept circling in my head the entire time i was watching it:if the person you care about is gone, but something wearing their face is still here… would you stay?this episode starts as an anime discussion, but it quickly spirals into something bigger. we end up talking about identity, grief, horror tropes like childhood friends to lovers, and the strange emotional space between knowing someone has changed and not being ready to let them go. spoilers discussed the summer hikaru died, yellowjackets, stranger things, pet sematary, the walking dead, shaun of the dead, annihilation topics in this episode ♡ the summer hikaru died ♡ yoshiki and hikaru’s relationship ♡ identity and consciousness in horror stories ♡ ambiguous loss and emotional limbo ♡ why we stay attached to people who have changed ♡ comparisons to stranger things, the walking dead, pet sematary, yellowjackets, and more follow the podcast spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/3tYlRLGcg0Rf2diYK3dPul apple podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cozy-in-the-shade/id1864693417 find me elsewhere website → http://www.heyshadylady.com twitter → http://www.twitter.com/heyshadylady instagram → http://www.instagram.com/heyshadylady twitch → http://www.twitch.tv/heyshadylady discord → https://discord.gg/fWTpUt6ZmHcozy in the shade is a podcast where i follow a stray thought until it turns into an accidental dissertation. sometimes that thought starts with anime or horror stories, sometimes it wanders into philosophy, identity, grief, or whatever strange question my brain refuses to let go of that week.

i have existential stage fright 😳

ok so this episode is basically me overthinking my own existence for an hour. we’re talking about that weird feeling of always being “on,” always being perceived, always playing some kind of role depending on where you are or who you’re around. content creator brain, real world brain, social brain… all of it. it gets weird.... we're constantly performing on stage and IM TIRED OF THIS GRANDPA!!!! (: join me as i spiral around about performance anxiety, identity, fictional worlds, and the observer effect (because my brain refuses to stay in one lane) if you also feel vaguely like a sim being observed by invisible cameras, welcome, you’re among friends (: -------- follow the podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/3tYlRLGcg0Rf2diYK3dPul https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cozy-in-the-shade/id1864693417 check out my website http://www.heyshadylady.com follow me (๑'ᵕ'๑)⸝* http://www.twitter.com/heyshadylady http://www.instagram.com/heyshadylady http://www.twitch.tv/heyshadylady https://discord.gg/fWTpUt6ZmH

i ghosted the internet for a year.

not because i quit and not because i was burned out in the usual way... but because i was tired af... and didn’t want to be perceived while i was trying to survive, heal, and rebuild.this is the first episode of cozy in the shade and it's a long, low-edit voice note about what happens when grief stacks, your nervous system taps out, and visibility starts costing more than it gives. i talk about disappearing on purpose, choosing silence over explanation, meds and boredom and fandom obsession, and quietly rebuilding my creative life off-camera... including why my website / "old-web" became my home base again.def a lil rambly, but hopefully it serves as a good entry point for you and i starting a lil journey together :)

in my soft launch era

a quiet lil preview of what Cozy in the Shade will become. an unedited, late-night ramble about shifting away from streaming, choosing slower creative work, and making space for reflection without perfection. this episode is a starting point... a little bookmark at the beginning of the trail. longer episodes coming soon (: