Why Initiating Keeps Failing | Ep 58

Why Initiating Keeps Failing | Ep 58

If you've been initiating and getting nowhere, this episode explains why, and it's probably not what you think. Most men were never told that desire doesn't work the same way for everyone. They've been measuring their wife's interest using a model that doesn't apply to her, reading her not-yet as a no, and pulling back in ways that make things worse. This episode breaks down what responsive desire is, why safety is the condition it needs to emerge, and what most men are doing that quietly shuts it down. In this episode you'll hear: * What responsive desire is and why it's not a problem to fix * Why her no isn't always a no, and what misreading it actually costs * How safety gets built or eroded, and why her body keeps score * Why obligation sex is more damaging than most men realize * The difference between verbal and emotional communication * Why contributing at home doesn't automatically create desire * What actually shifts the conditions for intimacy to return 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast [https://alisastoddard.com/podcast] 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in] Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page] Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/ [https://alisastoddard.com/]

She Said She Loves Me But Isn’t In Love With Me | Ep 57

“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” If your wife said this to you, this episode is for you. This is a clarity episode, not crisis management. It covers what she is actually saying when she uses those words, how she got there, and why the two most common responses men have, pursuing hard or going cold, both make things worse. You will hear: * What “in love” actually means in the context of a long marriage, and why it is not about attraction * How emotional distance builds quietly over years without either person fully tracking it * Why sudden effort after this sentence often lands as confirmation of her fear rather than reassurance * What this moment is actually asking for, and why most men were never taught how to give it * What the path forward looks like, and why the work transforms the man regardless of the outcome She said something true. The door is open. This episode is about what you do next. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast [https://alisastoddard.com/podcast] 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in] Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page] Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/ [https://alisastoddard.com/]

You’re About to Be Alone With Someone You Don’t Know | Ep 56

You built a life together. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, the two of you quietly stopped connecting. Not dramatically. Not with one defining moment. Just a slow drift that neither of you fully named. If you are in your late forties or fifties and the kids are older or almost gone, this episode is going to land somewhere specific. In this episode, we cover: * How disconnection starts long before it is visible, and what keeps it hidden * What busyness has been protecting you from noticing * The stories men tell themselves that keep the distance in place * What she has been experiencing while you were managing and providing * Why this particular moment in life feels so heavy when the marriage has thinned out * What is actually possible from here, and what it honestly requires This is episode 56 in the Create More Intimacy podcast for men. Part of a four-part series on the deeper patterns underneath intimacy and connection. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast [https://alisastoddard.com/podcast] 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in] Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page] Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/ [https://alisastoddard.com/]

You Don't Know If It's Over. You Just Know You Can't Keep Going Like This | Ep 55

Most men don't say it directly. But somewhere underneath the exhaustion and the distance, there's a question that keeps coming back at 2am: is this actually over? In this episode, we go into what that question is really asking - and why the answer looks very different once the tunnel opens up. What you'll hear: * Why "is this over?" is almost never just about the marriage * What the phrase "I can't keep going like this" is actually telling you * Why wanting to go back to how things were leads to the same painful place * What looking honestly at leaving can reveal about the options you stopped seeing * The fear of infidelity, in both directions, and what it signals * What comes before the question gets answered The path forward isn't backwards. It's through something you haven't done yet. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast [https://alisastoddard.com/podcast] 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in] Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page] Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/ [https://alisastoddard.com/]

She Doesn’t Want More From You. She Wants Something Different | Ep 54

You are doing a lot. You provide, you handle things, you show up. And somehow the marriage still feels empty. In this episode, we break down why effort alone doesn’t create emotional connection - and what your wife has actually been waiting for that has nothing to do with how much you do. You will hear about: * Why so many men unknowingly run their marriage like a transaction * Why doing more, giving more, and completing her list doesn’t produce closeness * What she experiences when effort keeps arriving but presence doesn’t * Why grand gestures and gifts fall flat even when they’re genuinely meant * What actually shifts when a man stops transacting and starts being present * Why the fear of not being enough keeps men stuck in the doing  If you have been giving everything and still feeling invisible, this one is going to name something you have been carrying for a long time. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast [https://alisastoddard.com/podcast] 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in] Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page [https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page] Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/ [https://alisastoddard.com/]