Get Obsessed Before You Run Out of Somedays

Rhysand Has Been Eating Last Centuries (Simon Sinek 🤝 Sarah J. Maas)

Crossing the Realms puts Rhysand from Sarah J. Maas's A Court of Thorns and Roses in his wingback chair with Simon Sinek's Leaders Eat Last. Andi and Teddi ask how far a leader should go to protect his people — and whether decades Under the Mountain is the answer. ⚠️ SPOILERS: Moderate to heavy for A Court of Thorns and Roses series Rhysand is the most powerful High Lord in Prythian, and he spends half a century letting Amarantha [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Amarantha] use him as her weapon so his people never have to know war exists. That's Simon Sinek [https://www.instagram.com/simonsinek/]'s "leaders eat last" taken to its most brutal extreme — and Andi and Teddi are here for it. They walk through Sinek's full framework from Leaders Eat Last [https://bookshop.org/p/books/leaders-eat-last-why-some-teams-pull-together-and-others-don-t-simon-sinek/7676921]: Rhysand [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Rhysand] hand-picking his Inner Circle over centuries (that's oxytocin, not magic), building Velaris [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Velaris] as the vision that makes every sacrifice mean something, and then trusting Cassian [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Cassian], Azriel [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Azriel], Morrigan [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Morrigan], and Amren [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Amren] to run the whole thing without him for half a century. Rhysand has no purpose without his people — and he'd rather be Amarantha's nightmare for 49 years than let them find that out the hard way. ⚔️ First time here? We don't gatekeep — follow Crossing the Realms wherever you listen. Leadership Books Discussed Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don't [https://bookshop.org/p/books/leaders-eat-last-why-some-teams-pull-together-and-others-don-t-simon-sinek/7676921] by Simon Sinek [https://www.instagram.com/simonsinek/] Leadership Concepts Discussed Circle of Safety [https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/] (Simon Sinek) — the leader's primary job is creating an environment of trust and security for everyone, not just select people The Alpha Sacrifices First [https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/] (Simon Sinek) — the leader with the most power makes the first and greatest sacrifices for the group Oxytocin & Trust Chemicals [https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/] (Simon Sinek) — long-lasting trust is built through time, vulnerability, and proximity, not instant gratification Abstraction Kills [https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/] (Simon Sinek) — the further removed you are from the people you lead, the easier it is to harm them Trust as Vulnerability (Simon Sinek) — "giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting they won't use it" Strong Leaders Build People Who Can Lead Without Them [https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/] (Simon Sinek) — leadership is about building autonomy and competency, then stepping back Vision Gives Sacrifice Meaning [https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/] (Simon Sinek) — long-term vision is what makes the hard work of eating last sustainable and purposeful Servant Leadership (referenced broadly through Sinek's framework) Fantasy Characters Discussed Rhysand [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Rhysand] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — High Lord of the Night Court; the episode's central character study. 49-year sacrifice under Amarantha, hand-built Inner Circle, teaches Feyre autonomy Feyre Archeron [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Feyre_Archeron] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — used as the lens to contrast Rhysand and Tamlin's leadership styles; her arc from caged to autonomous Tamlin [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Tamlin] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — anti-Rhysand contrast; controls, cages, and withholds from Feyre; his court empties as a result Cassian [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Cassian] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — Inner Circle member, half-blood Illyrian, commander of armies; the post-sacrifice dinner table scene Azriel [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Azriel] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — Inner Circle member, spymaster, half-blood Illyrian; forged bond with Rhysand from youth Morrigan (Mor) [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Morrigan] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — Inner Circle member, rescued from the Court of Nightmares; rules both courts Amren [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Amren] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — Inner Circle member, ancient celestial being trapped in a Fae body; last resort and advisor Lucien Vanserra [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Lucien_Vanserra] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — briefly referenced as Tamlin's one remaining ally who eventually leaves Amarantha [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Amarantha] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) — the tyrant whose court Rhysand sacrifices himself to for 49 years This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crossingrealms.substack.com [https://crossingrealms.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Fear & Leadership in Fourth Wing: Violet Sorrengail Feels It Anyway

Crossing the Realms pairs Susan Jeffers' Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway with the most unlikely dragon rider in fantasy — Violet Sorrengail from Rebecca Yarros' Empyrean series. Hosts Andi Waterhouse and Teddi Tostanoski break down how a girl with a chronic illness, a death wish from her own mother, and a mantra of "I will not die today" ends up embodying every leadership truth Jeffers ever wrote. ⚠️ SPOILERS: Light to moderate for the Empyrean series (Fourth Wing, Iron Flame, Onyx Storm); minor references to Throne of Glass Violet Sorrengail has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, joints that betray her, and a mother who shoved her into a war college instead of the scribe quadrant she trained for. Andi and Teddi map Susan Jeffers' five truths about fear onto Violet [https://the-empyrean-series.fandom.com/wiki/Violet_Sorrengail]'s arc and the fit is almost eerie. * The only way to get rid of the fear is to do it — so she walks across a rain-soaked parapet on day one and never looks back. * The fear never goes away as long as you keep growing — and Violet keeps growing, from poisoning her opponents' breakfast pastries to betraying the entire institution she was raised in because her moral code won't let her stop learning the truth. * Everyone on unfamiliar territory feels it too — which is how handing Rhiannon [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Rhiannon_Matthias] a boot and sharing a secret about dragon scale armor turns into a trust economy that builds her whole squad. Tairn [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Tairn] — the biggest, most terrifying dragon on the field — doesn't choose her for strength. He chooses her because she's standing over an unconscious enemy she could easily kill and saying "that says a lot about his character, not mine." The thesis: people don't follow physical power. They follow someone who sees them, fights for them, and is incapable of faking it. Violet is surrounded by people performing authority, and her authenticity becomes the most dangerous thing in the room. Fear doesn't leave — you just change your relationship to it. Leadership Books Discussed * Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway [https://bookshop.org/p/books/feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway-dynamic-techniques-for-turning-fear-indecision-and-anger-into-power-action-and-love-susan-jeffers/09d373a5633032a5] by Susan Jeffers Fantasy Books Discussed * Fourth Wing [https://bookshop.org/p/books/fourth-wing-rebecca-yarros/18796163] by Rebecca Yarros * Iron Flame [https://bookshop.org/p/books/iron-flame-rebecca-yarros/20299182] by Rebecca Yarros * Onyx Storm [https://bookshop.org/p/books/onyx-storm-rebecca-yarros/21944893] by Rebecca Yarros * Throne of Glass [https://bookshop.org/p/books/throne-of-glass-sarah-j-maas/8014301] by Sarah J. Maas (brief reference) Leadership Concepts * Jeffers' Five Truths About Fear [https://susanjeffers.com/books/feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway-revised-and-updated/] (Susan Jeffers) — including "The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow," "The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it," and "Not only am I going to experience fear on unfamiliar territory, so is everyone else" * Authentic Leadership & Moral Identity — leading yourself before leading others; decisions driven by values over institutional pressure * Found Family as Leadership Infrastructure — trust as currency, vulnerability as group-building, leveraging collective strengths * Violet Sorrengail [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Violet_Sorrengail] (Empyrean) — central character; scribe-turned-rider who leads through preparation, moral code, and radical authenticity * Tairn [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Tairn] (Empyrean) — Violet's bonded dragon; chooses her because of her character, not her strength * Andarna [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Andarna] (Empyrean) — the golden feathertail dragon Violet protects during Conscription Day * Rhiannon Matthias [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Rhiannon_Matthias] (Empyrean) — Violet's first real ally; follows Violet because of the trust Violet extends first * Xaden Riorson [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Xaden_Riorson] (Empyrean) — referenced; has Violet's custom saddle made for Tairn * Imogen [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Imogen_Cardulo] (Empyrean) — breaks Violet's arm on the mat * Sawyer [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Sawyer_Henrick], Ridoc [https://fourth-wing.fandom.com/wiki/Ridoc_Gamlyn] (Empyrean) — squad members who share secrets during the RSC assessment * Manon Blackbeak [https://throneofglass.fandom.com/wiki/Manon_Blackbeak] (Throne of Glass) — briefly referenced as a character both hosts love for her growth arc This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crossingrealms.substack.com [https://crossingrealms.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Get Obsessed Before You Run Out of Somedays

⚠️ SPOILERS: Light for Between These Broken Hearts and The Flame and the Warren What happens when you stop saying "someday" and start staying up until 3am building something you can't stop thinking about? Andi and Teddi are back after six months — not because they ghosted you, but because Teddi was building a 259-book fantasy database cataloging every series they've ever read (characters, magic systems, world-building, leadership themes, the works). Then she kept going. A self-designed fantasy literature curriculum from Beowulf to decolonizing fantasy, writing the research on Substack because that's what obsession looks like. No degree required. No permission asked. Just obsession and the willingness to build the damn thing yourself. We're back, fantasy nerds. And we brought infrastructure. --- Teddi couldn't find this quote during recording, so here it is: "You are going to f****** die. Sorry to break the bad news. But it begs the question… If you know how the story ends, why not make the middle really f*****g good? Like really f*****g good. Put down your little dopamine machine and go f*****g do something. Build something. Feel something. Risk something. Change someone's life. Change your life. Learn. Travel. Build. Break. Try again. Study your heroes. Pick up a camera and say something to younger you. Fall in love. Lose it. Find it again. Find yourself. Lose yourself. Get obsessed with something that makes you forget to check your phone. Because someday, you'll run out of 'somedays.' And all that will matter is whether you actually lived." — @diewithoutregretss [https://www.instagram.com/diewithoutregretss/?hl=en] Leadership Books Discussed: * Crucial Conversations [https://bookshop.org/p/books/crucial-conversations-tools-for-talking-when-stakes-are-high-third-edition-joseph-grenny/18142439] by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan & Al Switzler Currently Reading: * Andi: The Flame and the Warren [https://bookshop.org/search?searchterm=flame+and+the+warren+marion+blackwood] series by Marion Blackwood [https://www.instagram.com/marionblackwoodbooks/] (books 1–4, book 5 releases end of February) — dragons, shifters, male MC exemplifying self-sacrifice and leadership through hardship * Teddi: Between These Broken Hearts by Lexi Ryan [https://www.instagram.com/author_lexie_ryan/] (Beneath These Cursed Stars book 2) — analyzing transparency failures despite not loving the book; also Brimstone and Onyx Storm This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crossingrealms.substack.com [https://crossingrealms.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

Fantasy vs. Leadership Books: Why Fiction Is the Better Teacher (Or is it?)

Crossing the Realms explores why fantasy stories like Fourth Wing, The Witcher, and A Court of Thorns and Roses teach leadership skills better than bestselling business books. Hosts Andi Waterhouse and Teddi Tostanoski break it down. ⚠️ SPOILERS: Light for Throne of Glass, A Court of Thorns and Roses, Fourth Wing, The Stormlight Archive, Lord of the Rings, The Witcher, and Game of Thrones Can a fictional assassin-queen teach you more about leadership than a Harvard Business Review case study? Andi and Teddi make the case that fantasy characters are doing what your leadership bookshelf can't — building empathy networks in your brain, making lessons stick through emotion, and giving you a flight simulator for real-life decisions (shout out to psychologist Keith Oatley for that one). They pair five nonfiction leadership books with their fantasy character counterparts: Geralt of Rivia meets Mark Manson's radical responsibility, Kaladin Stormblessed carries Jocko Willink & Leif Babin's extreme ownership up a literal mountain, Violet Sorrengail embodies Susan Jeffers' "feel the fear and do it anyway," Amren and Asterin bring Kim Scott's radical candor with centuries of bite, and Rhysand physically builds Simon Sinek's circle of safety for his people. Plus: Octavia Butler and the power of imagining worlds that don't exist yet, why Samwise Gamgee is a servant leadership icon, and the mic drop — you actually need both genres, because fantasy without theory is just vibes, and theory without story is just a half-read book on your nightstand. Leadership Books Discussed * The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck [https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-f-ck-a-counterintuitive-approach-to-living-a-good-life-mark-manson/6437681] by Mark Manson [https://www.instagram.com/markmanson/] * Extreme Ownership [https://bookshop.org/p/books/extreme-ownership-how-u-s-navy-seals-lead-and-win-jocko-willink/8967655] by Jocko Willink [https://www.instagram.com/jockowillink/] & Leif Babin * Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway [https://bookshop.org/p/books/feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway-dynamic-techniques-for-turning-fear-indecision-and-anger-into-power-action-and-love-susan-jeffers/09d373a5633032a5] by Susan Jeffers * Radical Candor [https://bookshop.org/p/books/radical-candor-be-a-kick-ass-boss-without-losing-your-humanity-kim-scott/8486942] by Kim Scott [https://www.instagram.com/kimmalonescott/] * Leaders Eat Last [https://bookshop.org/p/books/leaders-eat-last-why-some-teams-pull-together-and-others-don-t-simon-sinek/7676921] by Simon Sinek [https://www.instagram.com/simonsinek/] Leadership Concepts Discussed * Radical Responsibility & Choosing Your Suffering (Mark Manson) * Extreme Ownership (Jocko Willink & Leif Babin) * Reframing Fear & Choosing Growth (Susan Jeffers) * Radical Candor (Care Personally + Challenge Directly) (Kim Scott) * Circle of Safety & Servant Leadership (Simon Sinek) * Empathy in Modern Leadership (Keith Oatley, Adam Grant, Terre Satterfield) * CliftonStrengths (Futuristic) (Gallup) Fantasy Characters Discussed * Aelin Ashryver Galathynius [https://throneofglass.fandom.com/wiki/Aelin_Ashryver_Galathynius] (Throne of Glass) — Andi's foundational leadership character from age 17; strategic, long-game thinking * Manon Blackbeak [https://throneofglass.fandom.com/wiki/Manon_Blackbeak] (Throne of Glass) — Andi's leadership arc mirror; hardened leader who learns empathy * Geralt of Rivia [https://witcher.fandom.com/wiki/Geralt_of_Rivia] (The Witcher) * Kaladin Stormblessed [https://stormlightarchive.fandom.com/wiki/Kaladin] (The Stormlight Archive) * Violet Sorrengail [https://the-empyrean-series.fandom.com/wiki/Violet_Sorrengail] (Fourth Wing) * Amren [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Amren] (A Court of Thorns and Roses), Asterin Blackbeak [https://throneofglass.fandom.com/wiki/Asterin_Blackbeak] (Throne of Glass), Gandalf [https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Gandalf] (Lord of the Rings) — Radical Candor trio * Rhysand [https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Rhysand] (A Court of Thorns and Roses) * Jon Snow [https://gameofthrones.fandom.com/wiki/Jon_Snow] (Game of Thrones) [https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Samwise_Gamgee] * Samwise Gamgee [https://lotr.fandom.com/wiki/Samwise_Gamgee] (Lord of the Rings) 🔔 Subscribe and follow Crossing the Realms so you never miss an episode or read more about our other fun projects here. [https://crossingrealms.substack.com/] This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crossingrealms.substack.com [https://crossingrealms.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

When Gods Need Therapy (The Book of Azrael #1)

⚠️ SPOILERS: Heavy for The Book of Azrael by Amber V. Nicole, light for Beneath These Cursed Stars by Lexi Ryan Wow. We made it to episode 1 of Crossing The Realms…finally…after only five technical disasters. Today hosts Teddi Tostanoski and Andi Waterhouse are diving into The Book of Azrael [https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/6c8da797-de71-44bc-9f84-f7f7832d156a] (#1 in the Gods and Monsters series) by Amber V. Nicole with all the grace of a dragon in a china shop. Join us as we unpack Dianna's journey from human to fire-breathing assassin (relatable) and Samkiel's millennia-long anxiety spiral. We explore inherited vs. earned power, why self-care isn't selfish when you're literally the World Ender, and how cotton candy becomes a metaphor for healing. Plus: accidental book order chaos, transformational leadership theory, and why your favorite fantasy character probably needs boundaries. What Teddi and Andi Are Currently Reading: * Beneath These Cursed Stars [https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/72ae7bd3-bed6-4493-b26b-8ff455dd79e2] by Lexi Ryan * Kingdom of Stars and Shadows [https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/901e5b6d-543f-4066-ae29-dae18a17844f] by Holly Renee * The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson Leadership Concepts Discussed: * Transformational vs. Servant Leadership * Clifton StrengthsFinder * Earned vs. Inherited Leadership & Power * Self-care as leadership foundation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit crossingrealms.substack.com [https://crossingrealms.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]