EP.22 Is Masturbation Wrong for Christians? A Thoughtful Conversation on Discernment

EP.23 Singleness, Sexuality, and the Desire to Be Known with Dr. Carol Tanksley

Dr. Carol Tanksley, a physician and minister, brings a rare blend of medical wisdom, theological depth, and lived experience to the conversation around singleness and sexuality. Having lived through long-term singleness, a cherished marriage, widowhood, and singleness again, she speaks with honesty about desire, intimacy, the body, and what healthy sexual formation actually takes. One of the deeper tensions she names is the way many singles have been given information about what not to do, but very little formation around what to do with longing, touch, sexual desire, and the need to be known. Dr. Carol invites a more embodied understanding of discipleship, one that does not reduce desire to sin or collapse intimacy into sexual activity, but honors the emotional reality beneath the ache. Her teaching moves toward a more connected vision of integrity, wholeness, and life in the light. Rather than relying on fear, rigid rules, or surface-level accountability, she points to the kind of formation that happens when desire is brought to Jesus, trusted community, and wise discernment. This is not about hiding the heart behind walls, but learning how to steward longing with honesty, maturity, and love. For anyone dating, healing, or navigating singleness, this conversation offers a slower and more trustworthy way. What to pay attention to… is what comes alive in you around another person, where your longing is asking for care, and whether that desire can be held with peace, connection, and trust. Healthy love begins with discernment, clarity, and self-trust. Watch this episode on YouTube [https://youtu.be/55UOxafABPo] Connect with Dr. Carol Tanksley * Website [https://www.drcarolministries.com⁠] * YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/drcarolministries⁠] * Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/drcarolt/⁠] * Facebook [https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolMinistries/⁠] * In-person Intensives [https://www.drcarolministries.com/intensives/⁠] * Her book, Sexpectations [https://amzn.to/497i434] If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/reclaim] 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/freebies] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/]   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren [https://calendar.app.google/DqcbBo3bYi5q4vuY9 ] → Coming in July: The Mid-Summer Dating Reset [https://laurenmathues.kit.com/63d82cbf1c]→ ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ [https://book.titan.email/claritycallwithlaurenmathues] We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ [https://laurenmathues.kit.com/477a573d13] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/?hl=en] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ [http://www.laurenmathues.com/] Have more questions? Email us at datinganddesirepodcast@gmail.com [datinganddesirepodcast@gmail.com]

EP.22 Is Masturbation Wrong for Christians? A Thoughtful Conversation on Discernment

Bridgett Blood and Lauren Mathues step into one of the most tender and often misunderstood conversations in Christian sexuality: masturbation, self-pleasure, and how adults make embodied, faithful decisions. With warmth and nuance, they name the range of perspectives people often carry, from “always wrong” to “always empowering,” and invite listeners into a more honest conversation about story, Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and what it really looks like. The depth of this conversation comes from the way they refuse to separate theology from lived experience. Our bodies, histories, wounds, shame, curiosity, and longings are all present when we talk about sexuality. For some, this topic touches abuse, loneliness, purity culture, pornography, confusion, or fear. For others, it raises questions about freedom, agency, healing, and what it means to live with integrity. Bridgett and Lauren offer a framework that moves beyond rule-making and reaction. They talk about discernment, personal conviction, embodied awareness, the difference between pleasure and escape, and the importance of asking whether our practices are leading us toward connection or away from it. Their invitation is not to bypass God or the body, but to listen more deeply to both as part of formation and wholeness. What to pay attention to is the fruit of your choices. Are you becoming more connected to God, yourself, and others, or more hidden, isolated, and self-protective? Are you honoring your body with kindness, or using pleasure to avoid the risk of being known and cared for? These questions help create a path toward discernment, clarity, and a deeper trust in your own story. Watch this episode on YouTube [https://youtu.be/sabDfLyl9RU] Mentioned in this Episode * Bridgett’s free guidebook, 19 Ways to Engage Sexual Joy [https://stan.store/bridgettblood/p/19-ways-to-engage-sexual-joy-] * Pure Desire: Groups and Clinical care for unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma for men and women * She Recovery: women porn recovery resources * Tabbitha Westbrook: healthy sexuality after abuse If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/reclaim] 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/freebies] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/]   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren [https://calendar.app.google/DqcbBo3bYi5q4vuY9 ] → Coming in July: The Mid-Summer Dating Reset [https://laurenmathues.kit.com/63d82cbf1c]→ ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ [https://book.titan.email/claritycallwithlaurenmathues] We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ [https://laurenmathues.kit.com/477a573d13] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/?hl=en] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ [http://www.laurenmathues.com/] Have more questions? Email us at datinganddesirepodcast@gmail.com [datinganddesirepodcast@gmail.com]

EP.21 What we are learning, loving, and a whole lot about kissing

Bridgett and Lauren gather the threads from recent conversations with Dr. Anthony Bradley, Barb Hill, Dr. Andrew Bauman, Dr. Jenna Mountain, Jonathan Hernandez, Adam Young, and Dr. Tony. Across themes of men’s formation, emotional capacity, abstinence, shame, story, and embodied sexuality, they keep returning to what healthy love actually takes. The tension is honest: rules can feel safer than discernment, but they cannot do the deeper work of formation. Bridgett and Lauren name the body as a place of wisdom, not fear, where desire, hesitation, grief, attraction, and discomfort all offer meaningful information. Their invitation is toward integrity that is connected and whole. Physical closeness is not treated as a formula, but as something that should match trust, commitment, communication, and the relational reality being built. For dating and relationships, this becomes deeply practical. What to pay attention to is whether your body feels safe, whether your words can be honest, and whether connection is forming something good in both of you. The fruit is clarity, discernment, and growing trust in yourself. Watch this episode on YouTube [https://youtu.be/upOoo2dHcqc] Mentioned in this Episode * Join Andrew Bauman's Man Land [https://andrewjbauman.com/man-land-online-community-is-open/⁠] * Listen to Three Percent Podcast [https://threepercentco.com/podcast⁠] Heartbreak Albums Bridgett Mentioned: * The Process by Judah & The Lion [https://open.spotify.com/album/6nGvTLfDe8Re9cUKx2YcOp?si=Fi8rOqzJQc6sq61eB4jJvw⁠] * Nova by Falcon [https://open.spotify.com/album/3OsuGDfJXeBFUUlYCtkjpq?si=1M1bOpGyTQm5B7drNJ6pZQ] If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/reclaim] 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/freebies] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/]   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence.→ Work with Lauren [https://calendar.app.google/DqcbBo3bYi5q4vuY9 ] → Coming in July: The Mid-Summer Dating Reset [https://laurenmathues.kit.com/63d82cbf1c]→ ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ [https://book.titan.email/claritycallwithlaurenmathues] We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ [https://laurenmathues.kit.com/477a573d13] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/?hl=en] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ [http://www.laurenmathues.com/]

EP.20 Holistic Health for the Man You Want to Be with Dr. Tony Krohn

Dr. Tony Krohn, chiropractor and men’s holistic health coach, brings a thoughtful and needed perspective on men, formation, health, and what actually prepares someone for love. He speaks to the pressure many men feel to become impressive on the outside while avoiding the deeper work of identity, community, healing, and embodied integrity. This conversation moves beyond appearances, apps, and external validation into what it really looks like to become ready for relationship. One of the central tensions is that growth can look good on the outside while still being driven by fear. We can read the books, work out, clean up our lives, and say we are “doing the work,” but still be trying to prove we are worthy of love. Tony names the deeper invitation: to let God form the places in us that are lonely, defended, insecure, or still reaching for validation, so our healing becomes honest rather than performative. His framework is rooted in wholeness: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health held together rather than separated into parts. The goal is not simply to get the girl, get married, or check the boxes. It is formation with integrity, where community can offer encouragement and correction, where the body is cared for, where the heart is not abandoned, and where connection becomes something we can actually receive and sustain. What to pay attention to is why you are doing what you are doing. Are you growing because you are afraid you are not enough, or because you want to live with greater clarity, love, and faithfulness? In dating and relationships, notice whether your desire for marriage is helping you become more whole or tempting you to perform. That kind of honesty creates space for discernment, deeper trust, and a more grounded relationship with yourself. Watch this episode on YouTube [https://youtu.be/bfmrtOFbJZk] Connect with Dr. Tony * Instagram [https://instagram.com/drtonykrohn] * The Restored Man - Group Program [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSd8Q02QZFDBubcM0HBNq-H7b4zPqeiNFQhHfSR8wD7dx2WT0g/viewform] * Discovery Call [https://l.bttr.to/78G76] If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/reclaim] 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/freebies] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/]   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ [https://book.titan.email/claritycallwithlaurenmathues] We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ [https://laurenmathues.kit.com/477a573d13] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/?hl=en] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ [http://www.laurenmathues.com/]

EP.19 Making Sense of Your Sexual Story with Adam Young

Adam Young, licensed clinical social worker and author of Make Sense of Your Story, brings a compassionate and clarifying lens to why our past continues to shape how we date, desire, and attach. Rather than asking us to summarize our whole life from a distance, Adam invites us to pay attention to the particular memories, relational patterns, bodily responses, and places of pain that have formed us. For anyone longing for honest, connected love, this conversation helps name what it really looks like. There is a meaningful tension here: our bodies are telling the truth, but not always the whole truth about the present moment. Attraction, fear, shame, and longing are not random, and they are not problems to simply overcome. They are often invitations to listen with more kindness to what our lived experience has carried, so that we can respond with greater clarity instead of simply reenacting what feels familiar. Adam’s framework centers on the integrity of looking at our own story with compassion, not contempt. Healing is not a finish line we cross before we become ready for love, but an ongoing formation of how we relate to our heart, our body, our wounds, and our desire. The real question becomes whether we and the people we date are willing to keep looking, keep repairing, and keep moving toward wholeness together. What to pay attention to is not whether someone has a perfect story, but whether they can engage their story honestly. Can they stay present with emotion? Can they receive a small vulnerability with care? Can they notice a pattern without turning away or becoming cruel? These are the places where dating becomes discernment, where clarity deepens, and where self-trust has room to grow. Watch this episode on YouTube [https://youtu.be/LOQrtP__L1E] About Adam Young Adam Young is a therapist who focuses on trauma and abuse, the host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast, and the author of Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past With Kindness Changes Everything. Adam is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a Master degree in Social Work (Virginia Commonwealth University) and Divinity (Emory University). He currently serves as a Fellow and Instructor at The Allender Center and lives in Fort Collins, CO, where he enjoys skiing, soccer, and mountain biking. Connect with Adam Website [https://adamyoungcounseling.com⁠] Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/adamyoungcounseling/⁠] Adam's Book, Make Sense of Your Story [https://www.amazon.com/Make-Sense-Your-Story-Everything/dp/1540903753]Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/reclaim] 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/freebies] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/bridgettblood/] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠ [https://bridgettblood.com/]   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ [https://book.titan.email/claritycallwithlaurenmathues] We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ [https://laurenmathues.kit.com/477a573d13] → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ [https://www.instagram.com/laurenmathues/?hl=en] → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ [http://www.laurenmathues.com/]