My Pets Are Defective (Episode 10)

My Pets Are Defective (Episode 10)

I do not do spiders, which became a serious problem when a large and deeply offensive one took over my favorite chair. In this episode: Mr. Darcy’s retirement from active pest control, Boof’s ongoing criminal behavior, Edgar’s shocking refusal to act like a cat, and the moment Dave proved himself to be the only functional member of this household.

The Edgar Regime - Surprise Bonus Episode

Edgar Allan Purr is eight months old, and his personality has officially launched. He steals Mr. Darcy’s food, compromises the royal chamberpot, destroys toilet paper, demands ice, sings while he purrs, and has slowly dismantled every remaining shred of household discipline through the combined force of toe beans and emotional manipulation. This bonus episode is an incident report from inside the Edgar administration. The purr bug has entered his tyrant era. Pray for us.

I Have Four Children (Episode 9)

I have four children, and only one of them is human. In this episode: Mr. Darcy protests the washing of his royal bedding, Piper serves as household informant, Boof loves mud but hates baths, and Edgar continues his campaign of emotional manipulation, bathroom occupation, and open warfare against the elderly.

The Takeover (Episode 8)

He was fifteen weeks old. He had been here eight days. The takeover was already complete.

The Porcelain Throne Room (Episode 7)

Before Edgar took over the house, he first took over my bathroom. In this episode, I talk about those early days: careful introductions, kitten filth, Mr. Darcy’s deep skepticism, Boof’s overwhelming enthusiasm, and the small morning ritual that made me completely smitten with a tiny, exhausting, cocoa-colored menace.