You can't force addiction recovery—but you can create the conditions for it (with Pam Lanhart)

You can't force addiction recovery—but you can create the conditions for it (with Pam Lanhart)

When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it's easy to feel like you only have two options: fix it or walk away. But there's a third path—and it starts with understanding that while you can't force recovery, you're not powerless either. In this episode, I'm joined by Pam Lanhart, founder and executive director of Thrive Family Recovery Resources, a nonprofit supporting families affected by substance use and addiction. Pam is the daughter, sister, and mother of loved ones who have struggled with addiction, and after losing her son Jake, she's dedicated her life to helping families create the conditions for lasting recovery through compassionate, evidence-based approaches. Together, we discuss: * Why "tough love" often creates more chaos than change * What CRAFT and Invitation to Change are—and how families can use them * The role shame plays in relapse, especially during family visits * How to set firm boundaries without damaging the relationship * What ambivalence really means—and why it isn't the same as not wanting recovery * The neuroscience behind behavior change and building new neural pathways * Practical ways to respond during moments of crisis without becoming the fixer or crisis manager Whether you're a parent, sibling, partner, or friend, this conversation will help you better understand addiction recovery, communicate more effectively, and support your loved one without losing yourself in the process. If you've ever felt like you were failing someone you love, this episode is for you. You're not powerless—and you don't have to navigate family recovery alone. 📘 Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey [https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/e-book] 🤝 Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102] 📲 Connect with FLOR: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/]and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@forloveofrecovery] 🎙 Guest speaker: Pam Lanhart, founder and executive director of Thrive Family Recovery Resources [https://www.thrivefrr.org/] Episode resources: * Join Thrive’s Family Support Facebook Group [https://www.facebook.com/groups/ThriveFamilySupport] * About the Invitation to Change (ITC) method [https://motivationandchange.com/invitation-to-change/] * About CRAFT  [https://motivationandchange.com/what-is-craft/]

"Who do I save?" Protecting all your kids when one struggles with addiction (with Kathleen Cochran)

When one child is struggling with addiction, the fear and focus can consume everything — but what happens to the other kids in the house, the siblings who are angry, the ones who seem fine but aren't? In this episode, Kathleen Cochran, a mother and founder of Moms For All Paths to Recovery talks about one of the hardest and least-discussed realities of family addiction: how do you show up for all of your children when one of them is in crisis? Kathleen speaks honestly about the impossible triage of parenting under pressure — protecting one child while not losing another, supporting the siblings who are angry, grieving, or quietly holding everything together, and recognizing the weight carried by the child who always seemed fine. She also opens up about the guilt that comes with realizing you unintentionally forced your other children to grow up too soon and carry the burden of being the parentified child. This episode is for parents in the thick of trying to save their child but realize their other children need their support too, and parents who are ready to rebuild their relationship with their kids. 📘 Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey [https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/e-book] 🤝Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102] 📲Connect with FLOR: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/]and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@forloveofrecovery] 🎙Guest speaker: Kathleen Cochran, founder of "Moms for All Paths to Recovery" Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsforallpaths/ [https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsforallpaths/]  Join our live discussion on July 1st at 4pm EST / 7pm PST  Learn about how Narcan (Naloxone) saves lives: https://www.cdc.gov/opioids/naloxone.html [https://www.cdc.gov/opioids/naloxone.html]

Cutting them off isn't your only option: How CRAFT supports you and your loved one through their addiction (with Jane Macky)

Is Al-Anon and 12-Step the best approach for families navigating their loved one’s addiction? The pressure to issue ultimatums or cut them off entirely can feel like the only path forward. But what if the advice you've been given is outdated, incomplete, not for you, or just wrong? In this episode, Jane Mackey, CEO and founder of We The Village and certified family coach, challenges what families are told about loving someone through addiction, and how to move beyond the 12-step approach used in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon.  Jane found CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) after desperately searching for real tools to help someone she loved, and has since built an accessible family coaching program around it. Together, we get into: * Why "tough love" and "rock bottom" became the default, and where they actually fall short * The enabling myth: how to tell the difference between hurting and helping * How to respond to their substance use without losing control * Why cutting someone off makes it harder for them to get help and can reduce your influence over their recovery * Whether CRAFT and 12-step can coexist, or if they're fundamentally at odds * How families report feeling less anxious and depressed through CRAFT — even when their loved one never gets help If you've ever felt like you're choosing between abandoning someone you love and losing yourself entirely, this episode is for you. We The Village is offering listeners 20% off their programs — use code FLOR at wethevillage.co [http://wethevillage.co] 📘Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey [https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/e-book] 🤝Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102] 📲Connect with FLOR: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/]and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@forloveofrecovery] 🎙Guest speaker: Jane Macky, founder and CEO of We The Village [https://www.wethevillage.co/about-us]

My brother is one year sober: What sibling addiction recovery actually looks like (with Justin Dajer)

This episode is for anyone navigating a sibling's addiction, early sobriety, or the complicated road of family recovery. A year ago, I wasn't sure where my brother Justin would be today — or if he'd make it to his 21st birthday. This episode, releasing in honor of National Sibling Day (April 10th), is one I've been waiting to record for a long time. Justin is 21, one year sober, and six months into a long-term young adult treatment program — and for the first time, he's sharing his story of addiction and early sobriety in his own words. We recorded this together during a family visit upstate, and what came out of it was more honest, more raw, and more hopeful than I could have scripted. We talk about: * What the past year of young adult addiction recovery has actually looked like — the hard parts and the proud ones * How drug addiction shaped his relationships, his sense of self, and what friendship even means * The loneliness and shame in early sobriety that don't get talked about enough * What he wishes people understood about addiction before judging someone going through it 📘Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey [https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/e-book] 🤝Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102] 📲Connect with FLOR: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/]and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@forloveofrecovery] 🎙Guest speaker: Justin Dajer Related content: * Episode: My brother’s addiction: Learning how to be his sister—not mom [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5MwzM56rb81Rpyq86DKM6C?si=M7_NB6ONTHqtmRKTAnt-5w]

"Do they deserve my love?" 5 mindset shifts for loving through addiction (with Joseph Green)

Addiction is hard. But the stories we tell about it can make it even harder. When someone you love is struggling with substance use, the questions feel endless:  Do they deserve my love right now? Am I enabling them? Should I cut them off? In this episode, we unpack one of the most dangerous parts of addiction — the narrative around it. Because sometimes what harms our loved ones isn’t just the substances. It’s the shame. The labels. The fear-driven decisions. The belief that love must be earned. In this episode with Joseph Green, a person in recovery and spoken word artist, we explore 5 powerful mindset shifts that can change how you show up: * Moving from “deserving” to inherent worth * Treating addiction as a mental health condition — not a moral failue * Reframing “enabling” vs. compassionate care and harm reduction * Rethinking cutting someone off vs. being there when they’re ready * Choosing people-first language over labels like “junkie” or “addict” If you’ve ever felt torn between protecting yourself and loving someone through addiction, this conversation will challenge you to look at the story you’re telling — about them and about yourself. 📘Download our FREE, sibling e-book: 6 actions to help navigate a sibling’s substance use journey [https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/e-book] 🤝Join our FREE and PRIVATE sibling-focused community: Siblings For Love of Recovery [https://www.facebook.com/groups/1001711494318102] 📲Connect with FLOR: Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/]and TikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@forloveofrecovery] 🎙Guest speaker: Joseph Green [https://www.lmscurriculum.com/staff/joseph-green/] Related content: * About LMS Voice: https://lmsvoice.com/productions/ [https://lmsvoice.com/productions/] * Start WIth Hope stories: https://startwithhope.com/stories-of-hope [https://startwithhope.com/stories-of-hope] * Take the Stories of Hope course and own your story: https://ncmwpic.learnupon.com/store/4553158-stories-of-hope-a-value-centered-approach-to-storytelling [https://ncmwpic.learnupon.com/store/4553158-stories-of-hope-a-value-centered-approach-to-storytelling]