Grief and living again

Perspective and Preparation

Always have a journal - by your bed, at table, in car, in purse, to write down info as you think of it. IT IS SO VALUABLE TO look back at thoughts, concerns, and ideas we have - especially in the midst of grief brain fog. (side note, pen and paper are more valuable in processing than on the note pad via phone- its a fact!!! so WRITE as much as you can on paper) Here are SOME things to keep in mind as you prepare for funeral of a loved one, or even to do for your own (make sure someone knows where you will keep this information). Look at a few funeral homes, they have lists, poetry, memoirs, and you can look at HOW others wrote their memorials out. Use those as a guide to writing the one you need to. The funeral homes can give you price lists of things like: cost of birth and death certificates, and be sure to get at LEAST 5-10 minimum ! !!!! they cost, but it's better to have too many than have to go to the county and wait in line - its a huge inconvenience. Some states will give a flat amount (around $250) for widows. But you have to do this at the Social Security office with in the first week or two. Other wise you loose the benefit. Take it! it may not seem like much, but that pays for your gas, if nothing else! Have the memorial cards written with all the details of your loved one, their parents name, spouse, date of birth and death, children, the job they did, volunteering, You want it to be professional, the hobbies, and such along with donations given to xyz in luei of flowers. What music to be played, digital or prints of photos, who will sing, will memorial be at church or funeral home; who brings food or catering, who can watch the kids during the memorial service / funeral. You can ask the funeral director or look for these lists on the websites of funeral homes, (visit a few because they are all VERY different). Prepare as much as you can before hand if possible. and do this for your own, making sure someone knows where your notes are ...

Talking and including with children/kids about death (part 2)

I've done another podcast to help families with how to deal with the difficult conversation with children. It is so important to NOT exclude them from what is going on. Kids perceive - often times spot on; And depending on their maturity and age, will come to a conclusion and perception that might be right on, or way off. If adults do not comfort them (and understandably, when adults are trying to "deal with" their own grief, imagine how deep the child is going through it; you are the one they count on to affirm them, give them comfort that they won't die soon etc); I'll be honest with you here, with certainty, IF you are walking the valley of grief, helping someone else is assuredly a way to begin healing (not get "over it', but learn to grow FROM the grief and sadness). Kids depend on us. Even if we miss the mark. Communicate with them the best way you can with honesty. It's okay to say YOU DONT KNOW something. Live real. Live now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed - I say with love and truth,. We don't know what tomorrow brings. so be with your kids, grands, nieces and nephews. They need you

After Holiday Blues and let down

The heightened feelings and let down with the absence of our loved one can hit hard during winter and holidays months. What and how do we get through it? If you have the Holiday pressures and expectations to create traditions, all the extra work..... HOW do we NOT get overwhelmed? * expect to feel the pressure * put Into reality what you can and cannot handle - yet not get lost in the doldrums and exclude then regret not showing up * limit what you do. * cut the list in half * learn to say NO to the things you do not want to go to (like work events, or anything that might have pressure to perform or go distances you just don't have energy to do * make a list of what you did last year and years before, what can be cut out? * instead of baking 10 kinds of cookies, do 5; and don't make enough for everyone; keep the list small to the closer people that you love; teachers and neighbors will understand if you can't do it * cater in instead of cooking - or go out to eat if cooking is too much * ask for help if you don't mind the person to help you prep Don't get busy whiplash that will leave you even more empty and exhausted. Next year is another year to get back to what you are able to do. And find someone to talk to while feeling the emotions. I offer a Grief to Life group on Thursdays at 7 CT; You can email me for the link and details (ZOOM) - donna.foreverhope@gmail.com [donna.foreverhope@gmail.com] #grieftolifeagain #wateratthewellcoaching #dbpbd #afterholidayblues #howtogrieve #gettingthroughgrief

Holiday plans and grief

Holidays can be a challenge in the midst of grief. Nothing is the same. What and why and how will you get through it all without your loved one? You will. Taking one small step at a time to figure it out; you will cry you may get mad, you may need a long hot shower.... but journaling and processing the different situations is so important. There is value in it all and making each decision will help you live and be with the ones who are still here that love you. Journal - journal and journal some more. Even if it is just bullet points. It all helps you understand who you are.

Grief and living again

Grief to life again is the HOPE of encouragement as we WALK the path of life without our loved one walking with us. It's not always easy. The more we love the person, the deeper the grief. But how? That is the question asked .... the pangs and void is deep and wide. But there IS Hope - only with the Grace of God and a few people who will walk WITH us without making slight of how much we miss our loved one. It may seem impossible, but oh how life throws the impossible our way, and we learn how to walk the walk of faith. Without wavering. We can questions, but staying stuck and downtrodden is not an option. Our loved one would not want us down and out. We can love them still. And keep the memories, talk of them when reminded by way of holidays, events, photos etc. They are always a part of our life. THAT is a blessing! To have loved much is to grieve deeply. Today we discuss some of the hope we can carry - and perspective on how to DO this thing called life. I have - will you try too? Praying you will lean into God as you grow each day. You are a blessing to me, and have much to offer to your circle of life. #grief #griefshare #grief2life#grievingheart#griefisathing#Godinthegrief#grief2lifeagain If you have enjoyed these podcasts, donations are welcome (these podcasts are free to the public who are looking for hope and encouragement, especially during the grieving process). ; Donate here: https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=5RUY8PSRJ4Y3G [https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=5RUY8PSRJ4Y3G] LINKS Join me as we walk this journey called grief. FACEBOOK PAGES ; FROM GRIEF 2 LIFE AGAIN https://www.facebook.com/groups/2668809196747601 [https://www.facebook.com/groups/2668809196747601] YOU TUBE STATION- FOREVER HOPE JOURNALING https://www.youtube.com/@ForeverHopeJournaling [https://www.youtube.com/@ForeverHopeJournaling] INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/dbpbd/ [https://www.instagram.com/dbpbd/] BLOG / WEBSITE words-by-design.com [http://words-by-design.com] FOREVER HOPE ART (ETSY SHOP) https://foreverhopeart.etsy.com [https://foreverhopeart.etsy.com]