57. Heiress to refugee camps: Germany's Paris Hilton on building community & negotiating identity | Paula Schwarz

58. Negotiating on behalf of the Prime Minister | Arben Malaj (Part 3)

Arben Malaj has had one of the most consequential economic careers in Albanian history. In the late 1990s, he served as Albania's Minister of Finance during the country's worst financial crisis: a wave of Ponzi schemes that wiped out the savings of roughly 60% of the population overnight. He later served as Minister of Economy, where he negotiated more than 30 free trade agreements. He's been a decades-long public servant, board member of the Central Bank of Albania, a professor, a consultant, a fellow at Harvard Kennedy School, and one of the sharper minds we've had on Gentle Power. He also happens to be Gerta's father, which made this conversation different in ways we didn't fully anticipate. We had so much positive feedback to our first interview series with Arben (Parts 1 and 2 in links below) that we invited him back to the pod when Gerta's parents were visiting us in San Francisco. We go even deeper into his journey from relatively unknown local politician to being considered for the country's prime ministership, and all the lessons on negotiations and power he learned along the way. • Why first impressions and presentation aren't vanity; they're the starting point of every negotiation • How Arben kept getting pulled into government roles he didn't seek, and what that reveals about leadership • What he did on Day 1 as minister to build trust with his team, and why it mattered • His reputation with the IMF: hard to move, reliable once committed • The regret he carries about a political offer he turned down, and what it says about high-stakes decisions For more: • Book a free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.com/newsletter • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

57. Heiress to refugee camps: Germany's Paris Hilton on building community & negotiating identity | Paula Schwarz

Paula Schwarz grew up as part of the Schwarz Pharma family, one of the largest pharmaceutical dynasties in Germany. She walked us through her background that led to her leaving all of that behind, spending years running technology platforms in refugee camps on the Greek island of Samos, building a co-living home network called Angel House now spanning Greece and San Francisco, and making the final round of the Miss Germany competition. She's also building MaharCar, a rideshare platform for refugees she originally launched with Uber's support, and MayaCode, an AI agent that helps refugees and government workers navigate bureaucratic forms in 300 languages. This episode covers: • Why knowing your priorities is the actual starting point of any negotiation • How to sequence your asks: in the first meeting, sell the next step in the conversation, not the final ask • Understanding what's in it for the other side, and leading with that instead • Why women often negotiate better for others than for themselves, and how to make use of that as a woman • Staying true to your values when the system keeps rewarding different behavior Learn more about Paula and her work: • Website: https://www.paula-schwarz.com • MaharCar (rideshare for vulnerable populations): https://marhacar.org For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

56. How to negotiate when you think you have no leverage | Priyanka Upadhyay

Priyanka Upadhyay, aka Coach Pri, spent 18 years in tech (Google, Salesforce, ServiceNow) before founding Product With Pri, a coaching and training business for product managers navigating job searches, transitions, and high-stakes career conversations. She's also an ICF-certified coach who's taught PM programs at Stanford and Product School, and now runs intimate small group cohorts for PMs looking to level up in their careers. In this episode, we got into the negotiation mindset traps that costs product managers money, why companies aren't actually optimizing for the cheapest hire, and how Pri negotiated her way through various situations in her life, from a grade dispute when she was attending Columbia Business School and a divorce mediation. Our conversation touches on the immigrant experience, the psychology of leverage, the importance of knowing what you're actually negotiating for, and the role of creative thinking when you think you have no options. • Why negotiation is underrated, and why most candidates don't use the support they already have • The "beggars can't be choosers" mindset and how exhaustion from a long job search quietly erodes your leverage • Why companies aren't optimizing for the cheapest hire, and what signaling strong self-advocacy actually communicates • Information gathering as the core of negotiation: understanding urgency, goals, and what the other side needs before you make any ask • Showing enthusiasm alongside your ask, and why that positioning matters for both top-choice and backup candidates• Getting clear on what you're actually negotiating for (base, flexibility, speed, impact) and why that has to come first Connect with Coach Pri: • Pri’s website: https://www.coachpri.com • PM Skills Quiz - https://www.coachpri.com/pm-quiz • Pri’s newsletter: https://productwithpri.beehiiv.com (for experienced PMs who want to grow their career & amplify their impact) • Book free 15-min career strategy session with Coach Pri: https://www.coachpri.com/career-brainstorm-call For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

55. A former intelligence officer on power & negotiations | Jim Lose

Jim Lose is a Marine Corps veteran and the CEO of The Military Veteran, a firm that places veteran executives into high-growth companies. Before moving into recruiting, Jim was a Marine Corps intelligence officer, including a tour at the Pentagon where, at 25, he regularly briefed the Commandant of the Marine Corps and had authorization to contact the White House Situation Room. After the military, Jim spent over 20 years in executive search, placing thousands of veterans transitioning into the private sector into corporate roles. In this episode, Jim joins Alex and Gerta to talk about what the military gives and takes away from you when it's time to negotiate your next career move, why veterans tend to undersell themselves, and what's actually happening behind the scenes when a recruiter facilitates your offer conversation with a prospective employer. • Why veterans struggle to advocate for themselves, and why military culture is specifically designed to work against you in compensation conversations • How the public pay structure of the military leaves veterans without the instincts to price themselves in the private sector • Jim's approach to coaching candidates: interview widely first, get selective when offers are in hand • What's actually happening when a recruiter asks how you'd feel if the offer disappeared • Gentle power in practice: how to signal competing options without damaging the relationship Connect with Jim Lose on LinkedIn, and learn more about this work here: • https://www.linkedin.com/in/jameslose • https://www.themilvet.org For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki

54. Don’t memorize negotiation lines and scripts, here’s why.

This week, Alex and Gerta react live to a short viral video from Alex Hormozi about a discount negotiation tactic. No guest, just the two of them watching the clip and breaking it down in real time. This episode is honest, funny (Alex shares his most embarrassing moment), and gets into something that comes up a lot in our negotiation work: why memorized tactics tend to backfire when it actually matters. Here's what the episode covers: • The Hormozi tactic itself: responding to a discount request, “can you do it for less” with "I could do it for more," and the anchoring logic behind it • The hidden assumption in the clip that quietly undermines the whole tactic• Why short-form negotiation advice tends to reward gimmicks over judgment • How memorizing scripts makes you less present, and why that costs you in live negotiations • What Alex and Gerta actually coach clients to do instead: principles with real logic, not lines to recite • Alex's mortifying elevator pitch story from college that illustrates all of this perfectly For more: • Book free consultation call with Alex: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call • Get our free negotiation worksheet: https://www.yournegotiations.com • Read our weekly newsletter: https://yournegotiations.kit.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yournegotiations • Gerta's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gertamalaj • Alex's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexhapki