7. "What I was most afraid of" | The Plastic Detox, Mother’s Day, and Seeing Endometriosis and Adenomyosis on an MRI | Miriam’s Update

7. "What I was most afraid of" | The Plastic Detox, Mother’s Day, and Seeing Endometriosis and Adenomyosis on an MRI | Miriam’s Update

Living through infertility is anything but static. One day, we feel hopeful, motivated, and inspired. The next, we can barely get out of bed. There are seemingly endless periods of waiting — for the next appointment, the next test result, the next treatment cycle. In those spaces between answers, it’s easy to fill in the blanks with our fears and worst-case scenarios. Then new information arrives, and once again we have to recalibrate, pivot, and find a way forward. In this personal update, Miriam shares what life with infertility has looked like over the past few months — from navigating Mother’s Day and making lifestyle changes to receiving the MRI results she feared the most, and facing the possibility of the new diagnoses of endometriosis and adenomyosis. In this episode, Miriam discusses: * How Netflix’s The Plastic Detox documentary changed the way she thinks about plastic — and what she’s choosing to wear because of it. * How Mother’s Day went from one of her most painful days of the year to one of her most meaningful — and what made the difference. * The anti-inflammatory diet she just started, why she chose it, and why it’s the first time in a long time she’s felt genuinely motivated to do something for her health and fertility. * Receiving the MRI results she feared most, including signs of deep infiltrating endometriosis and diffuse adenomyosis, and what those diagnoses mean for conception. * The frustration of spending years seeing doctors, undergoing two IUI cycles, and spending thousands of dollars — only to find a path to diagnosis through a Reddit forum and other women’s peer support. * How sewing a dress for a baby she may never have is helping her find moments of healing, creativity, and joy amid uncertainty. This podcast is for anyone living in the middle of an unfinished story — without answers, guarantees, or a clear path forward. These are the stories of navigating infertility while still in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com [https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

6. "But What If I Am?" | The endless loop of the two-week wait

Have you ever found yourself convinced you're pregnant one moment — and certain you're not the next? Have you ever gone to get an x-ray at the dentist, not sure how to answer the question of whether you’re pregnant?   If you have, this episode is for you. The two-week wait — the 14 days between ovulation and your period — is one of the most universally recognised experiences of trying to conceive. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about why this window is so hard, what it does to your mind and body, and how they have each learned to get through it. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about: What the two-week wait actually is — and why for some people it isn't two weeks The Schrödinger's pregnancy: why during this phase you are simultaneously pregnant and not pregnant, and why your brain struggles to hold both as true at the same time Why the hardest part isn't the waiting itself but the total absence of anything you can do to influence the outcome Symptom confusion: why pregnancy symptoms and PMS symptoms are nearly identical, and how that uncertainty plays out cycle after cycle How physical symptoms after surgery or pregnancy loss can add an entirely new layer of fear to the luteal phase Progesterone supplementation during IUI and IVF: how it affects the two-week wait differently for different people — and why it isn't always a negative experience The internal dialogue that loops endlessly: but what if I am pregnant? / I'm probably not / but what if I am? Two opposite coping strategies — lowering your expectations vs. letting yourself dream — and why both can be valid depending on where you are in your journey The obsessive tracking spiral: checking your app, reading your temperature, trying to extract certainty from data you already put in yourself Practical strategies that have actually helped Years of quiet lifestyle restriction — no alcohol, no sauna, no caffeine — and how to find a balance that doesn't put your whole life on hold The partner gap: why the two-week wait lives so differently in the body of the person trying to get pregnant This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com [https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

5. "I Just Let Myself Dream" | Missed miscarriage, neurodivergent burnout & building a joyful life anyway | Asha's story

Have you ever experienced a loss and been unable to cry? Or felt like your life is stuck on pause due to infertility, struggling to feel like you are actually living?”? If you have, this interview is for you. In this week’s episode, Miriam and Elise sit down with Asha Harkness (she/her) to hear her infertility story in full. Asha has been trying to conceive for over three years and is a coach for people who are late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD. At 37, living in Hertfordshire, UK, Asha is navigating a complex landscape: a heartbreaking missed miscarriage at 12 weeks, a hormonal crash that triggered neurodivergent burnout (and her discovery of undiagnosed autism and ADHD), thyroid toxicosis, and a medical system that treats her body as a collection of symptoms rather than a whole person. Along the way she has learned something crucial: she can grieve the future she imagined while building a beautiful life right now. This is not a story told in hindsight. This is what it feels like from the inside. In this episode, Asha, Miriam and Elise talk about: * The 12-week scan that changed everything: what it feels like to hear “there’s no heartbeat” and discover you’ve had a missed miscarriage, something you didn’t know was even possible * Why she broke the “don’t tell anyone before 12 weeks” rule — and why she’s grateful she did * The three months after miscarriage when she couldn’t cry, couldn’t move off the sofa, couldn’t do basic things and how she realized it wasn’t depression, but autistic burnout * How discovering her undiagnosed autism and ADHD helped her understand the burnout: the sensory overwhelm, the hormonal crash, and the loss of every routine during a house move * The week she grieved all the dreams she didn’t know she had and what it meant to finally let herself cry * What “I just let myself dream” means: allowing herself to get excited, calculate due dates, knowing she’ll probably be disappointed and that that’s ok * How she went from doing everything “to be fit for pregnancy” to doing everything for herself — and how that shift changed everything * Why the medical system fails: they test her extensively but barely test her husband, they mention stress but don’t address it * The protocol she created for day one of her period — and how it helps her cope with another cycle of not getting pregnant * Where she is today: still hoping, still trying, but no longer putting her life on pause waiting for it to happen Resources mentioned in this episode: * PODCAST: The Maisie Hill Experience Podcast Episode 31 ‘Recovering from Pregnancy Loss’ and Episode 32 ‘Pregnancy Loss Q&A’ * NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY: Hack your Health: The Secrets of your gut * NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY: The Plastic Detox Follow Asha: * INSTAGRAM: @AUDHD_Coach_Asha [https://www.instagram.com/audhd_coach_asha/] * WEBSITE: https://www.indigoinclusion.com/ [https://www.indigoinclusion.com/] This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com [https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

4. When everyone else is getting pregnant — except you

Have you ever picked up the phone and braced yourself, convinced that whoever is calling is about to tell you they’re pregnant? Do you walk down the street feeling like there is a pregnant person or newborn baby on every corner? Are you afraid that someone will have a “little announcement” anytime you show up at a party? If you have, this episode is for you. When you’re going through infertility, other people’s pregnancies can feel like the hardest thing to navigate. Not because you don’t love the people in your life. But because every announcement is also a reminder of the thing you want most, the control you don’t have, and the growing distance between your life and everyone else’s. In this episode, Miriam and Elise go deep on a topic that almost everyone going through infertility will recognise: what it actually feels like when the people around you keep getting pregnant while you are still waiting. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about: * Why other people’s pregnancies can make your infertility feel more acute and why that has nothing to do with not being happy for them * The harder emotions that pregnancy announcements can bring up: envy, resentment, anger — and the feeling of guilt that follows * Why trying to protect yourself by looking away may actually make things harder, and what turning towards someone else’s pregnancy can give you instead * Elise’s strategy for asking the people closest to her to share their news in a way that gives her time to process before she has to respond * The difference between two things that can be true at the same time: I am so happy for you and I am so sad for myself * What friends and family can do that actually helps make pregnancy announcement easier — and the well-meaning things that don’t * Why women often feel pressure to show up fully for other people’s pregnancies even when they have nothing left to give and why it’s okay not to * Practical ways to feel, express, honour and move through the harder emotions, rather than suppressing or avoiding them This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to InFertility Stories. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com [https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]

3. The Invisibility of Infertility: Early miscarriage, two failed IUIs, & possible endometriosis | Miriam’s story

Have you ever struggled with the invisibility of infertility? Of feeling a mismatch between how others perceive you and how you feel inside? If you’re navigating the identity challenges and the mental battle of infertility, then this week’s episode will resonate. In this conversation, Elise sits down with Miriam to hear her infertility story in full. Miriam has been trying to conceive for over two years, during which time she has experienced an early miscarriage and two failed IUIs. After exploring naturopathic treatments, acupuncture, and fertility testing, Miriam realised she may have undiagnosed endometriosis. This is not a story told in hindsight. This is what it feels like from the inside. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about: * The emotional fallout of delaying trying to conceive due to life circumstances. * How to navigate the uncertainty and mentally pace yourself when trying to conceive takes longer than it should. * Understanding your identity as a mother after a first pregnancy ends in loss. * Experiencing grief and pursuing treatment for depression when going through infertility. * The psychological impact of experiencing dismissive attitudes towards pregnancy loss and the invisibility of early miscarriage. * How trying to manage stress when trying to conceive can backfire. * Realising that ‘unexplained infertility’ might actually mean endometriosis, and deciding where to go from there. Resources mentioned in this episode: * BOOK: Taking charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler * BOOK: Period Power: Harness Your Hormones and Get Your Cycle Working For You by Maisie Hill * BOOK: It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett * FACEBOOK GROUP: Nancy’s Nook Endometriosis Education * BOOK: Heal Endo: An Anti-inflammatory Approach to Healing from Endometriosis by Katie Edmonds Find us on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/infertilitystoriespodcast/] and Substack [https://infertilitystories.substack.com/] This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com [https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1]