The Death of the Party Girl: Retreats, Awe, and the Medicine of Coming Home to Yourself

The Death of the Party Girl: Retreats, Awe, and the Medicine of Coming Home to Yourself

In this crossover episode, Emily Bingham sits down with Mary, a yoga teacher, retreat host, and recovery advocate based in Denver who leads retreats around the world. The two met at a Denver dinner party for soul-led entrepreneurs and felt an immediate kinship, both shaped by loss, both fiercely devoted to two tools the healing world tends to overlook: the power of retreats and the power of AWE. This conversation, shared across both their podcasts, is the result of that instant pull to collaborate. Mary traces her path from digital advertising and addiction in Chicago to getting sober, training as a yoga teacher, and falling in love with the retreat model in the jungles of Cambodia, where she locked her phone away and relearned the language of her own body. Emily revisits the loss of her 32-year-old husband Ian to terminal cancer in March 2019, the years of dissociation and hustle that followed, and the soul retrieval work she is doing now, seven years later, to finally thaw the grief her nervous system once froze to keep her alive. Together they get honest about work addiction, the lie of radical individualism, and why no one heals by being told to "calm down." At the heart of the episode is awe: those mind-cracking, ego-dissolving moments that reorder your understanding of life. Mary recounts trekking the Annapurna circuit in the Himalayas and laughing at how small her worries became against mountains millions of years old. Emily shares her experiences of dark awe watching Ian die and the quiet awe of a Colorado meadow that whispered, I'm going to be OK. They unpack the small self, collective effervescence, moral beauty, and why facing mortality and trauma can be the very things that crack us open to JOY, belonging, and a life that is not just functional but fully ALIVE. Key Takeaways ● Addiction, as Buddhist teacher Vimalasara puts it, is an unwillingness to meet life as it is, and recovery is the practice of opening to wonder without numbing or escaping. ● Grief is not linear; the nervous system can freeze trauma for years, and the protection that keeps you functioning is a form of love, not a failure to "feel it to heal it." ● You can't think or talk your way into safety. The nervous system is a show-not-tell system, which is why somatic, body-based, and movement practices reach what words can't. ● Retreats and peak experiences interrupt the go-go-go loop, then send you home with small, doable practices like phones out of the bedroom and daily contact with nature. ● Awe shrinks the small self in the best way, quieting rumination and reminding you that you are part of something far bigger and that you are not carrying it alone. ● Healing is rarely glamorous or rewarded; choosing to disappear, slow down, and grieve can cost visibility and income, and still be the most courageous, alive thing you do. Experience Awe Firsthand ● Learn more about Emily & Mary’s Wild Magic Madeira Retreat:https://iamemilybingham.com/wild-magic-retreat Connect ● Website: https://iamemilybingham.com/ ● Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamemilybingham/ ● Join the YOLO Year Waitlist: https://iamemilybingham.com/yolo-waitlist #DeathAndDisco #DeathMedicine #NoOneGetsOutAlive #EmilyBingham #LoveAndGrief Mentioned in this episode: Sign up for Coaching! 1:1 coaching [https://death-and-disco.captivate.fm/coaching]

Mortality, Wonder and the Practice of Noticing with Jasmine Wilder of The Tiny Joy Project

Some accounts you scroll past. Others stop you mid-doom-scroll and remind you that you are spinning on a space rock, getting to hear thunder and high-five someone for no reason! Jasmine Wilder, the writer behind the Tiny Joy Project, makes the second kind. In this episode, Emily sits down with the woman whose short reflections have reached millions of people across Threads and Instagram, and traces the heartbreak underneath the beauty. Spoiler: the woman writing about the magic of raspberries and moss got here through grief, health anxiety, and a series of mortality wake-up calls that refused to be ignored. Jasmine opens up about the years that broke her open. A move from the States back to Finland. COVID. Financial freefall. Her husband's young cousin diagnosed with cancer while pregnant, then losing that battle the same week Jasmine herself was rushed in for emergency surgery from sheer stress. A young woodcutter who walked across her yard one afternoon and was dead a week later. Each loss cracked her certainty that life was something you could plan around. Instead of looking away, she did the rarer thing: she read Atul Gawande's Being Mortal, watched Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about the absurd miracle of existing at all, and let her own mortality become the doorway into gratitude. Tiny Joy Project is what she built on the other side of that reckoning. Emily and Jasmine get tactical about the daily practice of staying alive to your life: no phone for the first hour, ruthless curation of what you consume, childlike curiosity as a discipline, and the radical act of choosing your reality every single morning. They talk about post-traumatic growth, why DEATH is the catalyst for noticing LIFE, the documentary Jasmine is already dreaming up, and the book she never thought she'd write. This conversation is medicine for anyone tired of the noise and quietly starving for permission to exhale. Key Takeaways ● Mortality is not the enemy of JOY, it is the doorway to it. Jasmine's anxiety about dying didn't lift until she stopped running from death and started studying it. ● You are statistically more likely to never exist than to exist. Sitting with that math is one of the fastest routes to gratitude that actually lands in the body. ● Curate your inputs like your nervous system depends on it, because it does. Mute, unfollow, and stop consuming content that whiplashes you between kittens and corpses every three seconds. ● The news is real and the suffering is real, AND it is never the whole story. There is always a comma, never just a period. ● Childlike wonder is a practice, not a personality trait. Asking "who decided clouds should be a thing" is a legitimate spiritual exercise. ● Making the most of LIFE looks less like a bucket list and more like noticing. Be here. Pay attention. Stop drifting. Guest Jasmine is a writer and the creator of The Tiny Joy Project. She writes for people carrying big feelings. Small reminders that beauty still exists, even when everything feels a little broken. Her work has reached millions who needed a reason to exhale. When she’s not noticing sunsets or talking to her dog, she’s probably getting distracted by something small and thinking about it longer than she needs to. Resources Mentioned ● Being Mortal by Atul Gawande: https://www.atulgawande.com/book/being-mortal/ ● Neil deGrasse Tyson on the odds of existing: https://www.haydenplanetarium.org/tyson/ ● Tiny Joy Project on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@tinyjoyproject ● Tiny Joy Project on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tinyjoyproject/ Connect with Jasmine ● Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tinyjoyproject/ ● Threads: https://www.threads.net/@tinyjoyproject [https://www.threads.net/@tinyjoyproject] * A Jar of Fireflies: https://tally.so/r/Bz1bRe [https://tally.so/r/Bz1bRe] Connect with Emily * Join Emily’s mailing list: http://iamemilybingham.com/connect ● Book a Wake-Up Call: https://calendly.com/iamemilybingham/wake-up-call ● Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamemilybingham/ ● Join the YOLO Year Waitlist: https://iamemilybingham.com/yolo-waitlist [https://iamemilybingham.com/yolo-waitlist] #DeathAndDisco #DeathMedicine #NoOneGetsOutAlive #EmilyBingham #LoveAndGrief #TinyJoyProject #JasmineWilder #PostTraumaticGrowth #ChildlikeWonder #MortalityMedicine

The Worm at the Core: Death Anxiety, Terror Management, and the Path to Radical Aliveness with Sheldon Solomon

Emily sits down with Sheldon Solomon, the legendary social psychologist and co-developer of Terror Management Theory, for a conversation that detonates the polite fictions most of us live by. Sheldon spent more than 40 years building the empirical case for what Ernest Becker proposed in The Denial of Death: that the uniquely human awareness of our own mortality is the hidden engine behind almost everything we think, want, and do. From courtroom judges setting bonds nine times higher after being reminded of death, to voters lurching toward authoritarian leaders after a terror attack, to our insatiable hunger for money, status, and stuff, Sheldon walks through the studies that show how unprocessed death anxiety quietly metastasizes into cruelty, consumerism, and cultural collapse. But this episode is not a doom scroll dressed up as science. Emily and Sheldon move from diagnosis to medicine, mapping what Sheldon calls the tripod of psychological fortitude: awe, humility, and gratitude. They get into the research on meditation, nature, psychedelics, and near death experiences, and why each one quiets our reflexive defenses against mortality through the same neuroanatomical pathway. Sheldon names the toxic meritocratic worldview that has turned us into "inebriated rats" chasing significance we can never catch, and offers a softer, fiercer alternative rooted in cosmic connection and the courage to feel small. This one is for the spiritually curious, the grievers, the academics, and anyone who has ever suspected that our cultural allergy to DEATH is exactly what is keeping us from LIFE. Sheldon's work cracked Emily wide open, and this conversation is the closest thing to a primer on Terror Management Theory you will find without buying the textbook. Key Takeaways ● Death anxiety is not occasional or optional. It runs underneath our politics, prejudices, purchases, and self-esteem projects, whether we are conscious of it or not. ● When mortality is on our minds, we cling harder to people who share our worldview and respond more harshly to those who do not. Demagogues weaponize this by turning fear into hatred aimed at scapegoats. ● The American meritocracy is a uniquely toxic immortality project. It sets standards almost no one can meet and manufactures chronic dissatisfaction, depression, addiction, and burnout. ● Awe, humility, and gratitude form a neurobiological tripod that dissolves our defensive reactions to death. So do meditation, nature, music, and psychedelics, all routing through the same brain pathways. ● Humility is not self-deprecation. It is the recognition that we are radically inconsequential specks of carbon dust AND intimately connected to every living thing that has ever existed. ● The fullness of life requires an awareness and acceptance of our transience. Engaging with mortality is not morbid, it is the doorway to meaning, connection, and fierce aliveness. Guest Sheldon Solomon, Professor of Psychology, Skidmore College. Sheldon Solomon is a professor of psychology at Skidmore College whose research on the effects of the uniquely human awareness of death on attitudes and behavior has been supported by the National Science Foundation and Ernest Becker Foundation. He is co-author of In the Wake of 9-11: The Psychology of Terror and The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life, and is a developer of Terror Management Theory. Resources Mentioned ● The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life by Sheldon Solomon, Jeff Greenberg, and Tom Pyszczynski: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/220079/the-worm-at-the-core-by-sheldon-solomon-jeff-greenberg-and-tom-pyszczynski/ ● In the Wake of 9-11: The Psychology of Terror by Tom Pyszczynski, Sheldon Solomon, and Jeff Greenberg: https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/4317016 ● The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Denial-of-Death/Ernest-Becker/9780684832401 ● The Birth and Death of Meaning by Ernest Becker: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Birth-and-Death-of-Meaning/Ernest-Becker/9780029021903 ● Escape from Evil by Ernest Becker: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Escape-from-Evil/Ernest-Becker/9780029024508 ● Flight from Death: The Quest for Immortality (documentary): https://www.flightfromdeath.com/ ● Ernest Becker Foundation: https://ernestbecker.org/ ● National Science Foundation: https://www.nsf.gov/ ● The Tyranny of Merit by Michael Sandel: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250800060/thetyrannyofmerit ● Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer: https://milkweed.org/book/braiding-sweetgrass ● Being and Time by Martin Heidegger: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/being-and-time-martin-heidegger ● Skidmore College: https://www.skidmore.edu/ ● Works of Irvin Yalom (existential psychotherapy): https://www.yalom.com/ ● Works of Rollo May: https://www.wwnorton.com/books/Loves-Will/ Connect with Emily ● Website: https://iamemilybingham.com/ ● Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamemilybingham/ ● Join the YOLO Year Waitlist: https://iamemilybingham.com/yolo-waitlist Connect with Sheldon ● Skidmore College Faculty Page: https://www.skidmore.edu/psychology/faculty/solomon.php ● The Worm at the Core: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/220079/the-worm-at-the-core-by-sheldon-solomon-jeff-greenberg-and-tom-pyszczynski/ #DeathAndDisco #DeathMedicine #NoOneGetsOutAlive #EmilyBingham #LoveAndGrief #TerrorManagementTheory #ErnestBecker #SheldonSolomon #TheWormAtTheCore #DeathAcceptance #DeathAnxiety #ExistentialPsychology #MortalityAwareness #DeathPositive #ConsciousLiving

Embracing Death as the key to Aliveness: Welcome to Death and Disco

Welcome to the inaugural episode of Death and Disco, the rebrand of Emily Bingham's podcast formerly known as It's Just Me, Emily. Emily, a spiritual life coach, widow, healer, mystic, and mom, opens with the conviction that our cultural denial of death is quietly destroying us, and that turning toward mortality is the actual key to soul alignment, inner abundance, and radical aliveness. Death has been her greatest teacher since losing her 32-year-old husband Ian to terminal cancer in March 2019, and seven years later she is bringing the medicine she has gleaned to a wider conversation. This episode lays out the why behind the new name, the shape of the season ahead, and the core teachings Emily will be unpacking all year. She walks through the duality the title holds: the queen of death and the muse, the sacred and the disco party, the void and the rebirth. She introduces the YOLO Year, her signature program built on the idea that you do not need a loss to learn how to live. Along the way she explores mortality as a mirror, a magnifier of miracles, and a motivator, plus the metaphorical deaths we move through in jobs, relationships, and identities. In the second half, Emily gets academic and irreverent at once, breaking down terror management theory, Ernest Becker's The Denial of Death, immortality projects, and how death anxiety drives the political, religious, and cultural divisions chewing the world up right now. She closes with research on near death experiences, altered states, and death acceptance, making the case that facing our mortality dissolves the ego, opens the heart, and might just be the medicine the world is starving for. Connect ● Website: https://iamemilybingham.com/ ● Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamemilybingham/ [https://www.instagram.com/iamemilybingham/] ● Join the YOLO Year Waitlist: https://iamemilybingham.com/yolo-waitlist #DeathAndDisco #DeathMedicine #NoOneGetsOutAlive #EmilyBingham #LoveAndGrief

Dying Out Loud: Finding Peace and Purpose at the End of Life with Penny Smith

This week, Emily sits down with Penny Smith, a hospice nurse and social media influencer who’s changing the way we think and talk about death. Together, Emily and Penny explore why normalizing conversations about dying can lead to deeper understanding, acceptance, and peace for both patients and loved ones. Penny opens up about her own transformative journey, from a difficult past to finding purpose in hospice care, and how it shaped her compassionate approach to end-of-life work. With her viral presence as @hospicenursepenny [https://www.instagram.com/hospicenursepenny/?hl=en], she’s bringing raw, honest, and even humorous conversations about death to millions. Listen as Emily and Penny reflect on acceptance, purpose, and what it truly means to live well, even at the end of life. Order Penny's Book Here! [https://www.amazon.com/Influencing-Death-Reframing-Better-Living/dp/1959411969/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=189421922594&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.npqyeb-tkUfXmigbwMkn651o22uf2fhmmvmtxxJIieUDpd0h9NDhv-bM4yzghOdBhnPB8AGiNm4IRa457q23lkU0qSHyPR2cvQFl3ioXrkc.b8KwuAGXVKfRh1GyJoe9NkHSRB68ixBuoflCbSg9cY4&dib_tag=se&hvadid=779514359028&hvdev=c&hvexpln=0&hvlocphy=9195505&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=16848806593793037758--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=16848806593793037758&hvtargid=kwd-2373512929160&hydadcr=20365_13322229_2281686&keywords=influencing+death+book&mcid=17be0dd55e4b3ffa903d0268889f8b92&qid=1762984143&sr=8-1] Host In 2019, Emily Bingham lost her 32-year-old husband, Ian, to cancer. His death shattered her world but also cracked her open to profound truth. Through grief, she discovered who she was, accessed an inner strength she never knew existed, and transmuted her pain into purpose—launching a movement that helped millions of grievers heal and rebuild joyful lives. But by 2023, even after growing a large community, hosting sold-out retreats, and publishing her first book LOVE & GRIEF, she realized she was living… but not actually alive. After 18 months of deep spiritual searching—including priestess training, somatic and psychedelic healing, and earning certifications as a Certified Dharma + Spiritual Life Coach (Highest Self Institute), Certified Temple Guide (13 Moon Mystery School), and Certified Grief Educator (trained by David Kessler)—she realized: Death was the missing link. Not just a doorway to grief—but a bridge to radical gratitude, truth, and fierce aliveness. Now, Emily’s mission is to help others awaken what matters, act now (not later), and alchemize what no longer serves—through the medicine of death. Guest Penny Smith, BSN, RN, is a nationally certified hospice and palliative care nurse, social media influencer, and author of Influencing Death, Reframing Dying for Better Living. For 20 years, she has worked in various hospice care settings and roles including inpatient, home hospice case management, education, quality, and regulatory. Penny is a passionate advocate for hospice education with a mission to normalize the end-of-life process and remove the stigma and fear around hospice care, death, and dying. During the pandemic, she turned to social media, using TikTok trends, dark humor, dancing, and storytelling to educate a worldwide audience and has since gained over 2.5 million followers as @hospicenursepenny [https://www.instagram.com/hospicenursepenny/?hl=en]. Ready to stop talking about your dream life and actually start living it? Jump on the YOLO Experience Waitlist for your most aligned, abundant and ALIVE year yet: https://iamemilybingham.com/yolo-waitlist [https://iamemilybingham.com/yolo-waitlist] Explore Emily’s books + courses: www.iamemilybingham.com [http://www.iamemilybingham.com/]. Follow Emily on https://www.instagram.com/emilypbingham/Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/emilypbingham/] or https://www.tiktok.com/@iamemilybinghamTikTok [https://www.tiktok.com/@iamemilybingham] for daily inspiration. WIN A FREE COPY OF LOVE & GRIEF! We're giving away a free copy of my book Love & Grief to the first 20 podcast listeners who subscribe and leave a review on my podcast. Enter your info here [https://iamemilybingham.com/podcast] and I'll send you the deets to win. Have questions you’d love answered on the podcast? Drop them in the comments below! Mentioned in this episode: Schedule a Coaching Call! https://calendly.com/iamemilybingham/coaching-discovery-call 1:1 coaching [https://death-and-disco.captivate.fm/coaching]