#36 Life Updates, Growing Through Pain, BJJ Tournament, Self-defense Training Class

#39 Q&A: Switching Off Work Mode, Navigating Spirituality as a Family, Firmness vs. Anger in Parenting

If this episode resonated, leave us a review — it helps other dads find the show. Cole and Sam go straight to the listener questions this week, and the questions are good. From entrepreneurs struggling to be present with their kids while carrying the weight of being the sole breadwinner, to navigating spirituality in the household, to what actually happens to your marriage and your parenting when things get hard — this one covers a lot of ground. They also get into what it actually means to "lead" your family, why gentle parenting without any firmness creates kids who know exactly how to work around you, and why the guy who's never wrong is the worst kind of leader in a household. In this episode: * The entrepreneur trap — when working hard is a STERB vs. when it's just a build phase * Adopting faith into the household without being pushy * Twins advice from a dad who actually has them * Why you are the key variable in your kids' lives — not their behavior * Managing conflict in marriage without pulling your kids into it * Firmness vs. anger — and why your kids can tell the difference

#38 The Emotional Skills No One Taught Us, Why Families Fall Apart, How to Keep Your Kids in Your Life Forever

If this episode resonated, leave us a review — it helps other dads find the show. Most dads think about the physical side of being a good father — showing up, providing, being present. But there's a set of emotional skills that determine whether your kids actually want a relationship with you when they're adults. Cole sees it in his grief recovery work all the time — good dads, good people, blindsided by estrangement from their adult children and grandkids. It didn't have to happen. And it doesn't have to happen to you. Cole and Sam break down the emotional tools that keep your most important relationships healthy over a lifetime — not just day to day, but decades from now. In this episode: * The emotional skills most dads were never taught and why it matters long term * Why relationships fracture over time and how to stop the buildup before it blows * The three things that keep any relationship emotionally clean — apologizing, forgiving, and saying the things that need to be said * How to forgive someone without putting them on the spot * Why your kids are watching all of this and logging it as the correct way to do relationships * Why marriage is where all of these skills get tested the hardest

#37 "I Regret Having Kids": Anti-Family Messaging, Embracing Fatherhood as Your Identity, Why the Best Things in Life Are Hard Won

If this episode hit home, leave us a review — it helps other dads find the show. Cole and Sam get fired up over a wave of mainstream articles — including a recent New York Times piece titled "I Regret Having Children" — and dig into what they see as a long-running cultural current pushing people away from family life. This one's less a how-to and more a rallying cry. The guys talk about growing up in a culture that quietly told you kids were a burden, careers were the point, and big families were irresponsible — and how that messaging doesn't just stop when you become a parent. It targets your kids too. But mostly? This episode is about the flip side. What it actually feels like to go all in on family. The Easter Sundays. The baseball games with your boys. The way becoming a dad can strip out the self-centeredness that was holding you back all along. In this episode: * The cultural propaganda machine and why it targets young people * Why embracing "dad" as your identity is harder than it should be * The creation analogy — why building a family might be the most meaningful thing you ever make * Protecting your kids from messaging that chips away at their vision of the future * Why staying home with your kids is not something to apologize for

#36 Life Updates, Growing Through Pain, BJJ Tournament, Self-defense Training Class

If you're getting value from the podcast, please leave a rating or review — it helps other dads find this when they need it. Sam and Cole are back after a few busy weeks with some major updates and reflections. Big news: Sam and Raquel are expecting baby number four. Sam shares honest thoughts on how pregnancy turns everything upside down, what he's learned about identity and certainty through his thirties, and why having kids is the most profound change that can happen to you as a man. Then they break down their kids' first jiu-jitsu tournament — the intensity, the tears, the wins, the losses, and what it actually looks like when young kids compete in combat sports. Cole also shares his experience at a Shivworks self-defense course — two days of reality-based training on knife defense, entangled fighting, and managing unknown contacts. Not macho nonsense, but intelligent, evidence-based instruction from on how to avoid violence, deescalate situations, and survive worst-case scenarios if you have no choice. They talk about why exposure to real violence (in training) shrinks the fantasy, why lifting weights matters for self-defense, and why being your family's protector isn't optional — it's what you signed up for.

#35 How to Sleep Better as a Dad (Even With Young Kids)

If you're getting value from the podcast, please leave a rating or review — it helps other dads find this when they need it. Sam and Cole talk sleep this week — one of the biggest challenges of fatherhood, and one where you lose a lot of control when kids arrive. Most sleep optimization advice comes from people without kids, talking about perfectly controlled environments that just aren't realistic for parents. But the truth is, you still have control over more than you think. And improving sleep quality by even 20-30% — for you and your whole household — makes a real difference. They break down: * Circadian rhythm basics: morning sun exposure, cortisol spikes, and melatonin at night * What they did wrong with their first kids (and how they'd do it differently now) * Caffeine timing, meal timing, and why delaying caffeine 60-90 minutes matters * Light exposure: LED bulbs vs incandescent, blue light at night, and simple changes that help * Nose strips, mouth tape, and practical sleep hygiene * Why natural sleep schedules work better than forcing rigid routines Plus: practical tips like buying full-size beds for your kids from the start (you'll end up sleeping in them), coordinating with your partner so both parents aren't getting destroyed every night, and understanding that better sleep for everyone in the house creates more harmony overall.