I Trusted Everyone But Myself: The Red Flags That Nearly Destroyed My Life

I Trusted Everyone But Myself: The Red Flags That Nearly Destroyed My Life

In this powerful episode of Living in the Aftermath, Lyndsey sits down with survivor, advocate, and paralegal Lynn Stroud for a raw conversation about the warning signs of abuse that so many people miss until it's too late. From childhood experiences that shaped her understanding of relationships to sexual assault, stalking, reproductive coercion, emotional abuse, family betrayal, and the failures of systems designed to protect survivors, Lynn shares the painful realities of what happens when trauma teaches you to question your own instincts. Together, Lyndsey and Lynn discuss: ✨ Why survivors often trust everyone else's opinions over their own intuition ✨ Reproductive coercion and the hidden forms of abuse many people don't recognize ✨ Family members who defend abusers and silence victims ✨ Stalking, intimidation, and post-separation abuse ✨ Toxic messages like "Marriage is hard" and "Blood is thicker than water" ✨ The family court system and the challenges protective parents face ✨ Healing after abuse and learning to trust yourself again ✨ Building healthy relationships after trauma ✨ Breaking generational cycles and teaching our children healthy boundaries If you've ever wondered why survivors stay, why leaving is so complicated, or how abuse can exist without visible bruises, this episode offers an honest look into the realities many victims face behind closed doors. This conversation is emotional, validating, and ultimately hopeful for anyone navigating life after abuse. ---------------------------------------- ⚠️ CONTENT WARNING / DISCLAIMER This episode contains discussions of: * Domestic violence * Sexual assault * Reproductive coercion * Stalking * Emotional and psychological abuse * Trauma and PTSD * Family court challenges * Post-separation abuse Viewer and listener discretion is advised. The information shared in this episode is based on personal experiences and opinions and is intended for educational and awareness purposes only. This podcast is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or professional counseling services. ---------------------------------------- 💜 NEED HELP? THE REFUGE UTAH Website: The Refuge Utah [https://therefugeutah.org?utm_source=chatgpt.com] 24-Hour Crisis Line: 📞 801-377-5500 Text Line: 📱 801-368-7700 ---------------------------------------- NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE Website: National Domestic Violence Hotline [https://www.thehotline.org?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Call: 📞 800-799-SAFE (7233) Text: 📱 START to 88788 ---------------------------------------- RAINN (SEXUAL ASSAULT SUPPORT) Website: RAINN [https://www.rainn.org?utm_source=chatgpt.com] 24/7 Hotline: 📞 800-656-HOPE (4673) ---------------------------------------- 📸 Instagram: @knowledge_exch_abuse_survivors 💼 LinkedIn: Lynn Stroud LinkedIn Lynn is a survivor, advocate, and paralegal dedicated to helping others recognize the warning signs of abuse, reproductive coercion, coercive control, and post-separation abuse. ---------------------------------------- 🎙️ Podcast Host: Lyndsey Hackford 📸 Instagram: @living.inthe.aftermath 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Livingintheaftermath [https://www.youtube.com/@Livingintheaftermath] Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-in-the-aftermath-with-lyndsey/id1832389204 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-in-the-aftermath-with-lyndsey/id1832389204]

He Made Me Believe the Abuse Was My Fault: Inside a Trauma Bond

In this devastatingly honest episode of Living in the Aftermath, Lyndsey sits down with survivor, advocate, author, and mother Mae Scott [https://www.maescottofficial.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] for one of the most raw conversations the podcast has had to date. Mae shares the unimaginable reality behind surviving years of coercive control, emotional abuse, marital sexual assault, violence, manipulation, family court trauma, and the psychological conditioning that made her believe the abuse was somehow her fault. Together, Lyndsey and Mae unpack: * Trauma bonds and why survivors stay * The slow psychological destruction of emotional abuse * Marital rape, coercion, and consent within marriage * Post-separation abuse and court manipulation * Parenting through domestic violence * Fear, shame, guilt, and survival * Learning what healthy love actually looks like * Rebuilding identity after abuse Mae is the author of An Embarrassment of Pandas: Exposing an Abusive Family and a Flawed System, a powerful memoir exposing the realities of domestic violence, institutional failures, and the long fight to reclaim safety, truth, and identity after abuse. Through her advocacy and storytelling, Mae is helping survivors feel less alone while pushing for awareness and systemic change. This episode is emotional, validating, triggering, inspiring, heartbreaking, and deeply important. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING / CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains discussions involving: * Domestic violence * Sexual assault * Marital rape * Emotional & psychological abuse * Strangulation * Trauma bonds * Court trauma * PTSD & trauma responses * Suicidal thoughts * Manipulation & coercive control Listener/viewer discretion is strongly advised. Disclaimer: The experiences shared in this episode reflect personal lived experiences shared for awareness, advocacy, and education. This podcast is not intended to replace therapy, legal counsel, medical advice, or emergency/crisis services. 💜 Resources & Support The Refuge Utah Supporting survivors of domestic violence through shelter, advocacy, education, and resources. 📞 24-Hour Crisis Line: 801-377-5500 📞 Toll Free: 1-800-899-5505 🌐 The Refuge Utah Website National Domestic Violence Hotline 📞 Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233) 📱 Text: START to 88788 🌐 The Hotline [https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Sexual Assault Support 🌐 RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) [https://www.rainn.org/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] Follow & Support Mae Scott 📘 Author Website: Mae Scott Official Website [https://www.maescottofficial.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] 📸 Instagram: @maescottofficial [https://www.instagram.com/maescottofficial/?utm_source=chatgpt.com] 📖 An Embarrassment of Pandas: Exposing an Abusive Family and a Flawed System available now. 🎙️ Follow Living in the Aftermath for more conversations surrounding trauma, survival, healing, domestic violence awareness, and rebuilding after abuse.

The Night Everything Changed: Trauma, Loss & Learning to Survive

What happens when everything changes in a single moment? In this episode of Living in the Aftermath, Lyndsey sits down with Chell Bane, host of Beyond the Monsters, to share a story rooted in childhood trauma, abuse, grief, addiction, and survival. From experiencing abuse at a young age… to navigating years of emotional trauma and survival mode… to losing her husband in a sudden, devastating moment… This conversation explores what trauma really looks like— not just in the moment, but in the aftermath. Because survival doesn’t mean you’re okay. And healing isn’t always linear. This episode dives into: • Childhood trauma and long-term effects • Domestic violence and emotional abuse • Grief, sudden loss, and widowhood • Addiction and coping mechanisms • Trauma responses and survival behaviors • Rebuilding life after loss and trauma • Finding purpose after pain If you’ve ever wondered how someone keeps going after everything falls apart—this conversation is for you. 🙏 SPECIAL THANK YOU A special thank you to the Beyond the Monsters team for welcoming us into your space and allowing us to record this episode on your set. Your support, collaboration, and commitment to sharing real, meaningful stories made this conversation possible. ⚠️ DISCLAIMER This episode contains discussions of domestic violence, abuse, trauma, addiction, grief, and suicide. Viewer/listener discretion is advised. The experiences shared are personal accounts and are not intended to determine guilt, innocence, or legal conclusions. This conversation is a depiction of lived experiences only. This content is not therapy, medical advice, or legal advice. If you are struggling, please seek support from a licensed professional. 🆘 RESOURCES & SUPPORT If you or someone you know needs help: National Domestic Violence Hotline 📞 1-800-799-7233 💬 Text START to 88788 🌐 https://www.thehotline.org [https://www.thehotline.org] 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline 📞 Call or text 988 Crisis Text Line 💬 Text HOME to 741741 RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) 📞 1-800-656-HOPE 🌐 https://www.rainn.org [https://www.rainn.org] SAMHSA National Helpline (Substance Use & Mental Health) 📞 1-800-662-HELP The Refuge Utah 📞 (385) 472-4088 🌐 https://therefugeutah.org [https://therefugeutah.org] You are not alone. There is support available. 🎙️ CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST – CHELL BANE 🌐 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters [https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters] 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters [https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters] 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondtheMonsters [https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondtheMonsters] 🎙️ Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-the-monsters/id1778966880 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-the-monsters/id1778966880] 🎧 Spotify: (available via Linktree) If this episode impacted you, consider sharing it with someone who may need it. Because when we talk about trauma, abuse, and survival openly, we make it easier for someone else to feel seen.

Trauma Bonded: Why You’ll Never Be Enough for a Narcissist

Trauma bonding doesn’t feel like abuse—it feels like love. In this episode of Living in the Aftermath, Lyndsey sits down with Laura Richards to unpack the psychological grip of narcissistic abuse, the confusion of trauma bonds, and the painful belief that if you could just be better… they would finally love you the right way. Together, they dive into: * Why narcissistic relationships often start with intense connection and “green flags” * How gaslighting slowly makes you question your own reality * The cycle of hope, breadcrumbs, and emotional dependency * Why leaving isn’t simple—and why staying doesn’t mean you’re weak * The truth about being discarded and replaced * How to begin healing, rebuild self-worth, and break the trauma bond This conversation is raw, validating, and deeply personal. If you’ve ever felt like you were never enough—this episode will help you understand why. ⚠️ Disclaimer This episode discusses domestic violence, emotional abuse, and trauma. Listener discretion is advised. The views and experiences shared in this episode are personal and are not intended to determine guilt or innocence in any specific situation. This content is for educational and awareness purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, medical, or legal advice. 💜 Resources & Support If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, help is available: * The Refuge Utah 24/7 Crisis Line: 801-377-5500 Website: https://therefugeutah.org [https://therefugeutah.org] * National Domestic Violence Hotline Call or text: 1-800-799-7233 Chat: https://www.thehotline.org [https://www.thehotline.org] * RAINN 24/7 Support: 800-656-HOPE https://www.rainn.org [https://www.rainn.org] You are not alone. Support exists, and healing is possible. 🔗 Connect with Laura Richards Host of That’s Where I’m At Podcast Speaker | Author | Coach https://bio.site/laurarichards [https://bio.site/laurarichards] https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast [https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast] https://www.youtube.com/@thatswhereimatpodcast [https://www.youtube.com/@thatswhereimatpodcast] https://open.spotify.com/show/0Lmc87ro6rDrHWtw4MXV1x?si=e204386b5e854387 [https://open.spotify.com/show/0Lmc87ro6rDrHWtw4MXV1x?si=e204386b5e854387] 📞 Resources The Refuge Utah 24/7 Hotline: (801) 377-5500 Website: https://therefugeutah.org [https://therefugeutah.org] National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.) Call or Text: 1-800-799-7233 Website: https://www.thehotline.org [https://www.thehotline.org] RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) Call: 800-656-HOPE Website: https://www.rainn.org [https://www.rainn.org] 🔔 Listen & Follow Available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. Follow along: @living.inthe.aftermath

I Fell in Love With His Potential: Why I Couldn’t Leave

What if the reason you stayed… wasn’t weakness—but hope? In this episode of Living in the Aftermath, Lyndsey sits down with survivor and advocate Grace Stuart, host of the Why She Stayed podcast, for a raw and deeply honest conversation about one of the most misunderstood parts of abusive relationships: falling in love with someone’s potential. Grace’s podcast is dedicated to unpacking what actually keeps survivors stuck—shifting the question from “why didn’t she leave?” to what was really happening beneath the surface. In this conversation, Lyndsey and Grace connect their stories and experiences—revealing how abuse doesn’t always look obvious, and why leaving can feel impossible even when you know something isn’t right. 👉 Lyndsey was also a guest on Grace’s podcast, where she shared more of her story. Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-she-stayed/id1742281264?i=1000751213220 [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/why-she-stayed/id1742281264?i=1000751213220] From the outside, it didn’t always look like abuse. There were moments of honesty. Effort. Even growth. But behind the scenes was a cycle of manipulation, trauma bonding, and confusion that made it nearly impossible to leave. Why do so many women stay—even when they know something isn’t right? Why does it feel like you never have a “good enough reason” to walk away? And how can someone be honest about some things… while still abusing you? In this episode, we talk about: * Subtle and emotional abuse (before it turns physical) * Trauma bonds and the addiction-like cycle of toxic relationships * The danger of falling in love with “who they could be” * Why abuse doesn’t always look the way we expect * The moment everything finally clicks—and what it takes to leave If you’ve ever questioned your reality, stayed too long, or felt like your situation “wasn’t bad enough”… this episode is for you. You’re not crazy. And you’re not alone. ⚠️ Disclaimer This episode discusses domestic violence, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. Listener discretion is advised. This content is based on personal experiences and is not intended to determine guilt or innocence or replace professional therapy or legal advice. 📞 Resources The Refuge Utah 24/7 Hotline: (801) 377-5500 Website: https://therefugeutah.org [https://therefugeutah.org] National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.) Call or Text: 1-800-799-7233 Website: https://www.thehotline.org [https://www.thehotline.org] RAINN (Sexual Assault Support) Call: 800-656-HOPE Website: https://www.rainn.org [https://www.rainn.org] 🔔 Listen & Follow New episodes of Living in the Aftermath drop regularly. Available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. Follow along: @living.inthe.aftermath